Mended

by Sydney Landon

  “Regretfully, Lucian and I aren’t lunch buddies. If I’m in my office, Liza usually brings in something.”

  “That’s your assistant?” I ask, vaguely remembering the attractive woman who helped me at Lee’s office.

  “Ah, she’d never agree to be called anything so simple. She runs my office and everyone in it. Including me,” he says fondly. His answer has me wondering if there’s more between them than a simple employer/employee relationship. After my initial wave of anger at his absence from my life, I’d been curious enough to Google him. There are random pictures of him at different functions with women, but much like Lucian before me, the same woman rarely appears more than once. There were no mentions of previous marriages or relationships. He flies below the radar where his romantic encounters are concerned and I have to believe that is strictly by design. He is a very handsome man, who could easily pass for someone in his thirties rather than forties. “Are you out of school today, Lia?” Lee asks, jolting me back to the flow of conversation.

  “Oh, um, no,” I stammer, knowing I sound guilty. “I…had an appointment this morning. My class isn’t for a few more hours.”

  “I hope everything’s okay,” Lee says, looking at me with concern.

  “Things are good. No, great,” I say brightly, causing him to raise a brow in question. I drop my hand and squeeze Lucian’s knee. “We’re pregnant,” I divulge before I can think better of it. Lucian jerks against my hand in surprise, while Lee stares at me with widened eyes. “I mean, I’m just ten weeks…almost eleven, but we had our first appointment this morning. I started thinking about your recent text while we were there and I don’t know…I thought I should come today.” I cringe as my verbal diarrhea stalls. Both Lee and Lucian are now openly gawking at me.

  “Congratulations to you both,” Lee manages.

  Lucian finally comes out of his stupor enough to say, “Thanks. We’re very excited.”

  “And terrified,” I add and then wince. Good grief, can I say nothing right today? I sound like some airhead Barbie. “Just the normal kind of new baby nerves,” I try to clarify, hoping he doesn’t think otherwise. I haven’t had a panic attack since the day we found out about the pregnancy.

  “I would think that’s to be expected,” Lee says, sounding supportive. “It looks as if I’ll have gained both a daughter and grandchild this year.” Now he’s the one cringing at his words.

  “Damn,” Lucian suddenly says, “you two are a disaster together, aren’t you?” Both Lee and I turn to glare at him before we all explode in laughter. The awkwardness dissipates in that instant as we realize the conversation can’t get much worse.

  I give both men an embarrassed look. “When I’m nervous, I say whatever pops into my head. My common sense completely deserts me. Lucian and I have only told a few close friends about the baby, so it’s not common knowledge.”

  “Even though I don’t belong to that group, I’m still honored that you told me,” Lee says, sounding as if he genuinely means it. “I hope that in time, you will be comfortable enough to at least call me a friend.”

  I shift uncomfortably in my seat, not expecting to see the type of longing from him that he’s not attempting to hide. “I’ve been so angry,” I admit quietly. “I know you’re not to blame for the things my mother has done, but a part of me wants to hate you for not being there.”

  Lee looks crushed at my words, but not surprised. Lucian takes my hand but doesn’t attempt to interrupt me. Finally, Lee says, “If our positions were reversed, I would feel the same way, Lia. That’s what’s so hard about this. I want your forgiveness, but I could never blame you if you didn’t give it. I’ve thought of little else since finding out about your existence. I still can’t fathom how I could have missed the fact I have a daughter. I don’t leave anything in my life to chance, but I never had an inkling, Lia—not the first clue.” Looking down at his hands, he swallows audibly. “You may not believe it, but as rough as I was back then, I would have still protected…and cherished you. I would have destroyed anyone who tried to hurt you.”

  “You’ve done that, haven’t you?” I find myself asking. I can’t help but think of my mother’s abrupt admissions of guilt and my stepfather’s death. Has my father already been exacting revenge on those who’ve hurt me?

  He studies me intently, seeming to ponder his reply. “I’ve failed as your father for too many years. That will never happen again.” His answer is vague—but telling. Before I can question him further, our food arrives and the moment of honesty is gone.

  I’m surprised to find that, even with his revelations, I’m ravenous. I tuck into my bowl of cinnamon and sugar oatmeal as if I haven’t eaten in a week. Lucian and Lee are both having the garden omelet with wheat toast. I’m sure they are cringing over the extra brown sugar I’m heaping on my oatmeal, but Lucian only smiles at me indulgently. “This is so good,” I manage to say between mouthfuls. My appetite has been a bit off in the mornings with the whole throwing up thing, so this is different for me.

  Lee takes a bite of his own food and chews with relish. “So, Quinn,” he says after he wipes his mouth, “when do you plan to marry my pregnant daughter?”

  Lucian begins choking while I come dangerously close to spraying the table in oatmeal. I thump Lucian on the back, and he uses his napkin to clean me up. “I see you’re embracing this father role fully.”

  Lee surprises a giggle out of me as he says, “You bet your ass, now answer the question.”

  “Oh God,” I hold up my hand. “Please don’t answer that, Luc.” Then turning to Lee I add, “I appreciate you wanting to look out for me, but Lucian and I haven’t been together for that long. People have babies all the time without being married as you well know.”

  He grimaces slightly at the last part of my sentence, even though I hadn’t intended it as a dig against him. Lucian, seemingly recovered from his shock, doesn’t attempt to shy away from Lee’s question. “I’d marry Lia this moment if it were up to me. I love her as I’ve never loved anyone else in my life. When I think of the future, she’s the one constant that doesn’t change.”

  I go all soft and gooey inside. I stare at him with all the love I feel inside written on my face. He kisses me hard before returning to his meal. I’m ready to toss my napkin on the table and drag him off to find a justice of the peace. When Lee clears his throat, I turn to find him looking at Lucian in approval. It occurs to me then, that if men end up marrying someone like their mother, then I’ll quite possibly marry the man most like my father. Considering I’ve known of Lee’s existence for only a matter of months and have hated him for most of that time, it seems surreal that I’m sitting next to him with these thoughts. It really shows how very much my life has changed in such a short amount of time. I never thought I’d get to the point of sharing a meal with him, much less enjoy the mostly relaxed mood of this first official meeting. Clearing my throat, I manage to say, “Yes, well, we’ll see where the future takes us.”

  Lucian gives me a quizzical look and I raise my lips to kiss his cheek. I don’t want him to think I’m brushing him off, but I also don’t want Lee to push him into some kind of shotgun wedding. He’s dealing with enough right now and doesn’t need this added pressure. And even though he’s—well, Lucian Quinn, I still feel confident in his feelings for me. No man would have stuck by my side through everything like he has for a casual relationship. We’re building a life together. Maybe we’re not doing it in the traditional order, but it’s working for us. “I love you,” I say simply. He seems to understand that those three words are both my promise and reassurance to him that we’re on the same page.

  Lucian

  I feel as if I’ve stepped into an alternate reality. I had been stunned to learn we were having breakfast with Lee Jacks. After the initial shock had worn off that she had a father who was very much alive and well, Lia hadn’t mentioned much about him. I’d certainly had no idea he’d been texting her a standing invitation to join him for a mea
l. That wasn’t the most surprising thing though because I knew he was anxious to get to know his daughter. She had been so angry with him, so the fact she decided to meet him this morning without telling me is astounding.

  Of course, I would like Lia to build a relationship with him, regardless of how questionable his past appears to be. Hell, for that matter, his present has been open to a lot of speculation as well. I can’t find it in me to hold that against him though. I can only imagine the rage he felt at finding out he had a long-lost daughter and then discovering she had been abused. I had experienced some of that anger firsthand when he’d mistakenly thought I had hurt her. Lee might well be many of the things he’s been rumored to be through the years, but I can’t argue with the fact that he’s clearly captivated by his daughter. As she speaks passionately about her classes at school, he listens to her as if spellbound. Maybe he never thought he wanted a child, but now that he has one, he seems helpless to walk away. I understand fully the allure that is Lia Adams. We may be drawn to her in different ways, but there’s no denying I was riveted from the first moment I saw her, too.

  Maybe the inherited combination of Lee’s drive and will to survive makes her the woman she is. He may have well saved her life without ever having known her. I don’t see a trace of Maria Adams in her. The bitter, cruel woman we met in the courtroom months ago is nothing like the vibrant love of my life sitting next to me.

  I want to be angry with her for not telling me that Lee would be here this morning. I don’t like secrets. Even small ones tend to fester and destroy. I know that better than anyone does. My secrets had come close to ruining my life. The wonder of our morning thus far has mellowed my anger though. Seeing my child even through the fuzzy gray of the ultrasound picture was nothing short of miraculous. It is something I never thought would happen to me again. After Cassie, I believed my direction in life was set: Casual sex, no attachments, and certainly no happily-ever-after. I had convinced myself I didn’t need love or a family of my own. Those things seemed a sure path to heartache and I couldn’t deal with losing another love.

  Now, here I sit next to my pregnant girlfriend, whom I love more than life and I’m envisioning things I never believed possible. I was young when Cassie was pregnant, but if I’m completely truthful, I could never picture us growing old together. Fuck, most days, I could barely imagine us making it until the next week without some disaster occurring. It was stressful, but I got used to living my life on a wire back then. “Expect the unexpected” were words I lived by. Cassie thrived on chaos. I would draw up inwardly when she had that gleam of a bipolar mania in her eyes. I almost preferred the depressive episodes—unless she spiraled too low, then that was a completely new set of problems.

  Just thinking about it all is enough to make me break out into a cold sweat. No good ever comes from remembering the past although it has been happening more as of late. The withdrawal from cocaine has left me clearer than I’ve been in quite some time. My dreams are more vivid and my regrets sharper. I am no longer self-medicating my pain away and some days the ache is particularly brutal.

  “More coffee, sir?” our server asks, pulling me back into the moment. Lee is telling Lia about his company, speaking with obvious pride. Like Lia, I know he also had a hard life growing up. Now though, he’s wearing expensively tailored clothing and looks like the successful businessman he is. If you look closely though, there are still hints of the ruthless man he’s long been rumored to be. He’s a survivor as is his daughter. No matter how many challenges life throws their way, they will never give up. It’s simply not in their DNA.

  Lia looks at her watch, seemingly disappointed by what it shows. “I need to get back to the apartment and grab my books for school.” Glancing at me, she adds, “I’m sure you’re needed at the office since I practically hijacked you for breakfast.”

  Tucking a strand of blond hair behind her ear, I smile easily. “No worries, baby. I cleared my schedule until noon since I didn’t know how long our appointment would run.”

  Lee insists on paying the bill and we all get to our feet. He rocks back on his heels, looking uncertain as to how to say goodbye to his daughter. I extend my hand to him, thanking him for breakfast. “I…um eat here every day through the week and so the invitation to join me is still open anytime you would like.” He looks at both Lia and me, but I know he’s really speaking to her.

  She gives him a shy smile in response. “Thanks for inviting us. I enjoyed it.” She doesn’t make any commitments to coming again, but he looks hopeful all the same. I place my hand on the small of her back and lead her to the Range Rover. We’re almost halfway home when she says, “I owe you an apology. It was wrong of me just to spring that on you. I really don’t have an excuse.”

  I just shrug my shoulders, now having gotten over my irritation of our impromptu breakfast with Lee. “You don’t have to be afraid to tell me anything, Lia. I wouldn’t have tried to talk you out of it.”

  She reaches over to put a hand on my shoulder. “Oh, Luc, I know that. I think I just didn’t want to commit to going in case I backed out at the last minute. Up until the moment I took a seat at the table, I wasn’t sure if I was going to stay.” Sounding timid she asks, “It went okay though, don’t you think? I mean I still get really angry when I think of all the years he wasn’t around, but it doesn’t seem fair to hate him for something he didn’t know was happening.”

  “I understand you’re torn over your feelings, baby,” I say carefully. “I think it would be difficult not to feel that way. I also believe that Lee probably has enough regrets to last him a lifetime. I’m not sure where that leaves you two, but he seemed thrilled to see you.”

  “I resigned myself years ago to not having a father in my life. It’s hard for me to believe he’s here now. That we’ve been in the same city all along. I never imagined that. At first, I figured he lived far away and that was why he never came to see me. Then, after a while, I figured he must be dead. Otherwise, he would have come to save me.” My hands tighten on the steering wheel and I fight to keep my expression blank. “When I think about that, I get so angry. But I’m also drawn to him. I want to push him away, but in the same breath, I want to ask him never to leave. He reminds me a lot of you,” she adds in a lighter voice.

  I look at her quickly in surprise before putting my attention back on the road. “How’s that possible? I’m much better looking,” I joke. Being compared to your girlfriend’s father probably wouldn’t be the highlight of most men’s day.

  She giggles, relaxing back into her seat. “I’m not talking about your appearance although you both seem to love those power suits. It’s just the way you carry yourselves.”

  “I could say something really dirty here, but I’m refraining since you keep grouping me with your father.”

  “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that,” she groans. “Anyway, I just meant that it’s obvious you’re a successful man and that you don’t take any shit, for lack of a better word.”

  Pondering her statement, I say, “I can live with that. I would prefer the word cocky to successful, but you told me that I couldn’t talk about that…”

  Shaking her head, she sighs. “All roads lead there, don’t they?”

  “Are you complaining?” I ask as we pull into the garage and park.

  She surprises me by dropping her hand from my shoulder to my cock. “Oh no, Luc, I have no complaints at all.”

  I feel myself stiffening in her hand as I bite back a groan. I push my hardening length against her hand. “You’re going to suck me off before I leave for work, Miss. Adams.”

  Fuck all, if she doesn’t lick her plump lips and clasp me tighter. “I can’t wait,” she purrs as she unbuckles her seatbelt and races out the door. Damn, I love that girl.

  Chapter Nine

  Lia

  I throw another pair of jeans on the discarded pile of clothing in the middle of the closet. It seems as if almost overnight, I can no longer fit into anything
but my yoga pants—and they are getting tight. My panties are also too small and ride uncomfortably up my crack. I solved that problem earlier by snagging a pair of Lucian’s designer boxer briefs. I pulled the extra fabric in the waist together and secured it with a rubber band. Even my breasts look as if they are going to explode from the lacy cups of my bra. Dear Lord, what is happening to me? No one who throws up every day should be gaining this kind of weight.

  I hadn’t heard Lucian walk up behind me so I squeak in alarm when he says, “Did I miss the hurricane that blew through here?”

  Grabbing a shirt from a hanger, I hold it self-consciously in front of my no longer flat stomach. “I can’t find anything to wear.” I pout. “All of my pants are too tight now.”

  “Ah, come on, baby, I’m sure we can find something.” He tugs the shirt from my hands and studies his modified boxers on me. “Those look pretty fucking hot on you.” He leers at me as if we hadn’t just made love less than an hour ago.

  “Really?” I snap, pointing to my stomach. “Well, you must have a thing for fluffy girls then. Look at me! How many women grow out of their clothes overnight?”

  He makes the mistake of laughing and I see red. I’m in a hormonal rage as I begin poking my fingers into the chiseled muscles of his abdomen. “Sure, laugh it up. Go ahead with your sexy self and laugh at me. Let’s see how funny it is when I sit in the middle of the bed and gorge myself on a pint of ice cream tonight.” He’s just staring at me in shock now, which makes me try harder to get a reaction other than laughter out of him. “Oh and, by the way, we won’t be having any more sex. I hope you got enough this morning because it’s all up to you and your hand from now on, buddy.”