Song of the Dead

by Sarah Glenn Marsh

  I laugh, but the sound quickly dies. Evander loved cream swans. So does Meredy, when they’re served floating in a sea of berry sauce. Of course, we won’t be sharing any dessert at tomorrow’s wedding like I’d hoped. No dances. No laughter. No long conversations that last until even the stars are tired.

  More than anything, more even than her words, I miss her presence. Her soft touch on my shoulder, the scent of vanilla in my room, the warm feeling that let me know she was nearby. I miss being close to the one who made me want to be a better version of myself—who knows what I’ll become now?

  At least I have training to keep my mind off my misery. It’s been taking up every hour lately, so much that my body has begun to protest it. Valoria seems to enjoy the near-constant time on the grounds instead of being cooped up in the throne room, too—she’s become quite skilled in wielding her cane like a weapon thanks to Jax, which makes sparring against her a real pain.

  With Meredy and Valoria nodding their approval, I decide on the blue gown and add enough strands of sparkling necklaces and bangles to rival the stars. Maybe all the glitter will keep anyone from noticing there’s no light in my eyes anymore.

  Tomorrow, we’ll celebrate Simeon and Danial’s love while I mourn for mine—the old and the new, the never-to-be.

  XXVI

  The wedding ceremony itself is a brief declaration of love, as usual. It’s really the following party that matters to any Karthian. That’s always the part everyone talks about for months after, sometimes even years, so much that certain wedding celebrations become legend right along with people’s favorite festivals. Of course, this wedding could be legendary for a different reason altogether—if the wandering spirit that escaped the Deadlands decides to make an appearance.

  As we leave the ceremony site—a cliff near the palace overlooking the sea—I scan the crowd of guests and guards for Kasmira again, hoping I’ve somehow missed her.

  “Kas took a turn for the worse last night,” Valoria tells me gravely. “Unlike me.” She walks beside me, her left arm looped through my right, while Meredy holds her other arm. Danial had a breakthrough with her healing sessions last night, and she’s finally able to walk without her cane—though not without a slight limp. Somehow, we all manage to stay in step as we head into the palace’s largest courtyard, even while surrounded by guards.

  “What happened to Kas?” I demand, my throat tight.

  “Just the fever being vicious. But don’t you worry. She’s with Azelie now, and—” Valoria breaks off, her brows drawing together. “And the other students.”

  “What?” I glance up sharply and accidentally meet Meredy’s eyes. She shares my look of alarm. “And you’re fine with that? What if they all get infected?”

  “Azelie needs her help,” Valoria answers vaguely. “Sarika escorted Kasmira from the Paradise to the school for me and is staying to ensure they take every precaution against the fever spreading while Kas is there.”

  That seems like an odd task to hand Sarika as part of her lady-in-waiting duties. I listen expectantly for Valoria to say more as we reach the courtyard, where musicians are already playing in anticipation of our arrival.

  But instead of explaining further, Valoria spots Bryn hovering near the seven-tier masterpiece of a cake and waves to her, saying under her breath, “I’d better try the cake before Jax gets his hands on it.” Her cheeks turn pink as she hurries off, a squad of Danial’s favorite guards trailing her as closely as loyal hounds.

  For a moment, I watch her, then turn my attention to the roaming guards whom I assigned to search for the loose spirit. Before the ceremony, I described to a trusted few of them what a spirit looks like in the Deadlands: gossamer-pale, almost transparent, and usually sporting their death wounds. All evening, they’ll be combing the courtyard and palace grounds to ensure there’s no such uninvited guest among the partygoers.

  “I can’t believe Azelie couldn’t put aside whatever she’s researching for one night.” Meredy shakes her head, drawing my gaze back to her. I wonder if she realizes this is the most she’s spoken to me, just me, in days. I lower my eyes so she won’t know how much I’ve missed this. “But I suppose we can forgive her, since she hasn’t known Simeon and Danial nearly as long as the rest of us. Oh—hello, Kat! Hello, Shealea!”

  Brightening, she waves at a pair of passing baronesses who are new to Valoria’s council, but not to the palace. Stray flower petals fleck Kat’s long red-brown hair, remnants of the wedding ceremony, and Shealea looks equally festive with a white flower purposefully tucked into her black hair, just behind her ear, and a sparkly silver gown that hugs her willowy frame.

  “Fancy seeing you two here!” Baroness Katerina jokes, her pale blue eyes warming as she returns the wave. A white cat with one tabby ear and tail prances jauntily at her heels.

  “She should’ve been born a beast master,” Meredy comments in a low voice to me before calling after them, “Care to join us?”

  Shealea’s small, dark brown eyes meet mine for a moment, glimmering with regret. As she inclines her head at something—or rather, someone—behind her, I realize the baronesses are on the move to avoid being swept up in conversation with the overbearing young count who appears to be trailing them.

  With a strained silence settling over us, Meredy and I watch as the happy couple races arm in arm into the courtyard, both wearing the customary crowns of dried flowers whose blossoms symbolize every aspect of love: lilac for new love, red roses for pure love, pale honeysuckle for the bonds of love, violets for faithful love, and several more besides. While they couldn’t look more opposite—Simeon so blond and tan, Danial with his raven hair and stark white skin—the smiles and glances they keep giving each other let everyone know they belong together. That, and they’re wearing matching dress robes for the occasion, white trimmed with interlocking silver and gold threads.

  I can’t help looking at Meredy and wondering if that could’ve been us someday.

  “Time for the crown toss!” Jax calls from across the courtyard. A bright flash meets my eyes as the last shred of daylight glints off the silver flask in his hand. He snags Valoria around the waist with his other hand.

  At first, she looks startled. But after a moment, she seems to decide she doesn’t mind and puts her arms around his neck, leaning in to kiss him.

  I blink. She chose quite the moment for what I have to imagine is their first kiss. I didn’t even think they were together.

  To keep from staring, I focus on the crown toss. Danial and Simeon stand in the center of the courtyard and, on Jax’s shouted signal, throw their crowns at the rest of us gathered behind them. I snag Simeon’s crown out of the air as it soars just above my head and turn to grin at Meredy in the thrill of victory.

  Her smile is suddenly a little uncertain, and my face burns as I realize why.

  Whoever catches the crown is supposed to be close to finding a love of their own.

  As she carefully avoids my gaze, I nestle the crown in her wine-red hair and then drop my shaking hands to my sides as the party becomes a blur of torchlights and stars. “There. Now you’ll find your true love soon.”

  “Sparrow,” a little girl’s voice says as someone tugs on my skirt. “Why are you crying?”

  Glancing down, I meet the doe-brown eyes of Valoria’s youngest sister, Ruthenia, who can’t be more than six years old. I’ll bet anything that her other two siblings, a boy and girl in their early teens, are supposed to be keeping an eye on the littlest Wylding, but the two of them appear to have their hands full with glasses of punch and too many treats—much to the irritation of the guards assigned to shadow them. I doubt they’ll get a moment’s rest tonight.

  My insides writhing, I answer the young girl with “Weddings tend to do that to people. You’ll see one day, Ruthie. Love hurts.” Hastily grabbing a glass of honeysuckle wine from a passing tray, I drain it in one long gulp. Blink
ing hard to clear my gaze, I focus on the small blond girl still clutching my skirt. “Let’s dance, shall we?”

  As Ruthie nods enthusiastically, I sweep her off her feet and into the wide space left open for dancing. As the wind shifts, a wave of heat washes over us, and we turn in time to see Simeon and Danial tossing the first handfuls of colored powder into the evening’s bonfire.

  Ruthie giggles and claps as I spin her around some more and waves at the guard nearest to us. Being at a party where the guards nearly outnumber the guests, and where there could well be a spirit on the loose, doesn’t seem troubling to her young mind, so I try not to let it completely kill my mood, either.

  “Fireworks. We need fireworks!” Karston rubs his hands together as he passes us, weaving through the dancers and guards with a purpose. He caught the other flower crown, but instead of giving it away, he’s stuck it on his own head, wearing it with a swagger in his step. I nudge his shoulder and grin as he passes by. His eyes always look darker at night, but as the torchlight catches them, they shift from brown to their true violet—making even me, in all my misery, a little bit breathless.

  The music changes, the melody becoming faster, and Karston pauses his fireworks mission long enough to entertain everyone with some spectacular dance moves. People clap and whistle. He’s the life of the party tonight. I have to imagine he’s relieved that the metal soldiers have been locked up ever since the almost-deadly demonstration.

  As I twirl Ruthie around, I catch sight of Meredy in her flower crown, standing off to the side to watch the dancing. Somehow, knowing she’s not dancing with anyone else only makes me feel worse. I want at least one of us to be happy after all we’ve suffered, but it seems we’re equally miserable. I just hope the reason she hasn’t snuck off to use the crystal yet is because the recordings finally got through to her. Then all this unhappiness will have been worth it.

  “Sparrow,” Ruthie whines. “You’re all frowny again.”

  “Sorry. I’m just—hungry,” I murmur in reply. It’s true that I haven’t eaten much today, and supper won’t be served until everyone’s exhausted from dancing and light-headed from all the wine. But right now, light-headed sounds good. “And thirsty,” I add.

  After returning Ruthie to the care of her brother and sister, I grab a flute of wine and find a seat on a bench near the musicians, well away from Meredy. I watch Valoria force Jax to do a twirl in the middle of the dance floor. I drain my glass. The dancers become a blur, one face indistinguishable from the next.

  A short while later, my stomach growls. I guess I really do need to eat something.

  As I make my way to the food, a low rumbling like thunder shakes the sky—the first firework exploding. Usually, there would be a swarm of Dead around the sweets and cheeses, trying but never managing to sate themselves. I think of them longingly as I reach for a plate, but a tap on my shoulder makes me turn.

  “Here, try this,” Karston says, holding out a thick slice of strawberry and rhubarb cream cake cradled in a napkin. He grins. “I managed to steal a piece before someone took the whole thing away to carve it up for after supper.”

  I shake my head. “You stole it, you eat it,” I tell him, almost smiling.

  “No, I owe you,” he says quickly, shoving the cake into my hands before I can protest. “Aside from Noranna, you’re the first real friend I’ve made since coming here. Don’t get me wrong, the others are great—but you’re the one who let me in. Besides, I need to save my appetite for supper.” Grinning again, he gives me a wave and dashes off.

  Shrugging, I stuff the cake in my mouth as I work my way back toward the benches. The sweet frosting reminds me of Simeon, as it’s his favorite, and I search the crowd until I find him. He and Danial are setting off the fireworks together, and he can’t seem to stop laughing.

  For the first time all night, I smile. There’s nothing like seeing my almost-brother happy, truly happy, after everything we’ve endured.

  I polish off the cake and, after stashing its cloth wrapping on the edge of a table, spot Meredy again. Now she’s dancing with Lysander, Elibeth, and Elibeth’s growing pack of greyhounds—which, for all their graceful stature, can’t easily move to the music. I take a deep breath and try to stop shaking inside as I watch her having fun.

  More wine helps.

  This is what I wanted: Meredy, healthy and herself again without the crystal. But then why do I feel so terrible? I wish she could be happy with me, but even if I watched her throw the crystal into the ocean tonight—could I ever trust her again, after all the times she’s lied?

  I stride toward Ruthie and the other two Wylding siblings, intent on joining them to have some fun myself, but a voice stops me in my tracks. “Sparrow! Where are you headed?”

  Jax and Valoria have been inseparable tonight. So when I turn and see Jax sitting alone on a bench near the start of the pathway leading into the garden, frowning at his flask, I hurry over to see what’s wrong.

  “Where’s Valoria?” I ask, slightly out of breath. I blame the wine. “You two looked like you were . . . having fun.”

  “We were. At least, she was,” Jax says slowly as I drop down beside him. He shrugs. “Something just didn’t feel right. I can’t really explain it.”

  Glancing over at Meredy, still dancing with her sister in the distance, I mutter, “I know the feeling.” I’m not sure how much he knows, or has guessed, about my breakup with Meredy. I have to imagine Valoria told him everything, though.

  “Well,” Jax says a moment later, slurring his words slightly. “We could talk about it, I guess. Or . . .” He holds the flask under my nose. “Drink with me like we used to, Sparrow.”

  I have a hard time saying no to Jax. Especially when those crystal-blue eyes are staring so deeply into mine, like he knows all my secrets.

  In the end, I don’t say anything. I just grab the flask, take a long drink from whatever foul liquid is inside, and try not to wince as it burns its way down my throat, where it mingles with the wine and cake. My stomach does a flip, but I ignore it and lean against Jax.

  “You ever wonder,” he murmurs as he takes a sip, “if we’re destined to never be happy? I mean, look at Simeon and Danial. You think if we found that, we’d recognize what it was? I don’t know if I’d be capable of feeling it.”

  “Maybe you can’t. Maybe I can’t, either,” I say, accepting the flask again.

  “At least the whiskey’s all right,” Jax concludes.

  We fall silent, sharing the flask back and forth as the music becomes more subdued. Soon I can’t tell much difference between the fireworks and the shimmering stars appearing in the deepening night sky. Once or twice, I think I spot a shooting star, only to blink and lose track of where it fell.

  I’m not sure how much time passes before Danial rushes toward us, his eyeliner smudged at the corners.

  “Come on, you two,” he murmurs, putting a hand on each of our shoulders. “We were worried about you. And you’re making everyone else wait on their supper.”

  Startled, I glance around and realize the courtyard is empty save for those tending the bonfire and cleaning up spilled wine. Everyone else has already moved to their seats at the long tables set up in the gardens for a late supper. Still, it makes no sense that someone would send Danial to find us. This is supposed to be the best night of his life.

  But the moment I feel a familiar sensation of warmth spreading from my shoulder through the rest of my body, I realize why he must have insisted on looking for us himself. Danial’s healing touch sobers us up just enough for us to head to the gardens unassisted, and for my face to burn with embarrassment as I begin the long walk to the table where an empty seat beside Meredy has my name on it.

  I curse myself for not telling Simeon about the breakup. I’m sure he would have made alternate seating arrangements for me, even at the last minute.

  Hardly anyone is
looking at me or Jax as we sit—instead, their gazes are trained on Simeon as he finishes giving a toast I assume was meant to occupy the guests while Danial fetched us. A cheer rises into the night air.

  Meredy doesn’t even look my way as I slide into my seat.

  “Now it’s a party!” Simeon calls, flashing Jax and me teasing grins to show he’s not upset. He gestures to the first course, already laid out in front of each of us. “Dig in!”

  I poke at my slices of cold boar smothered in some sort of light brown sauce, moving them around on my plate so it looks like I’m enjoying the food. Despite the healing from Danial and only eating a slice of cake so far tonight, I’m no longer hungry. Something smells the slightest bit off, a whiff of an odor that reminds me of parsnips. I’ve never liked them.

  From the look of things, Jax doesn’t have any appetite, either. He’s already back to sneaking sips from his flask when Valoria, seated beside him and hungrily tucking into her meal, isn’t looking. At least he’s put his fork in his hand to feign interest, though.

  Gazing toward the head of the table, I watch the happy couple while Meredy alternates between eating slices of her meat and sneaking some into the napkin on her lap to give to Lysander later. I don’t understand how she can carry on like nothing’s wrong. I guess she really isn’t hurting over being apart.

  Like Jax and me, Danial hasn’t touched his food yet, too busy kissing his new husband’s neck as Simeon tries to chew and swallow his latest bite while laughing.

  Suddenly, Simeon drops his fork. It clatters against his plate, and instead of picking it up, his hands fly to his throat.

  Beside me, Meredy coughs violently, gripping the edge of the table for support.

  Strange, those two choking at the same time.

  A moment later, Valoria falls forward into her plate, wheezing and clutching at her throat like Simeon. She can’t even seem to sit up.