The Cowboy Songwriter's Fake Marriage

by Lucy McConnell

  Mark dropped his arms to his sides in defeat and then bolstered himself. “I hope it works out for you.” He took the first slice of pizza and blew on the cheese before tasting it. He bobbed his head in approval. “And if it does work out for you, maybe I’ll place an ad for a bride.”

  “Let me write it for you,” Xavier teased. “No woman wants your legalese proposal.”

  Mark looked around for a napkin. “You mock me now. My ad would bring in the ladies.”

  Xavier snorted. “Whatever.” I already got the best of the bunch. He hid his smile behind a piece of steaming hot pizza.

  “I still think you’re nuts. And when this whole thing goes south, I know a guy who can get you a quick annulment. Hey, maybe you’ll get some breakup songs out of it.” He finished off his slice and wiped his fingers clean.

  Xavier’s heart sank. He didn’t want this marriage to fail. He wanted to make a friend who would be a co-parent he could count on. What had his dad told him on his wedding day—his first wedding day? “Be the type of person you would want to be married to.” He vowed right then and there to do his best to be a partner. He could do that. He would do that. Then Emily would have no reason to leave.

  A whisper of fear ran through him. What if she didn’t show up to the wedding? Or worse, what if she was here for weeks or months and decided he was too high-maintenance for her? He shoved the storm clouds away. Emily wasn’t going to leave. She was committed to their future marriage.

  Over the course of the evening, fear would creep in and he’d repeat his earlier words. Emily wasn’t going to leave him. He knew the fear came from Nora’s death. She hadn’t volunteered to make him a single parent, but she had nonetheless. Emily was different. She was healthy—robust, even—where Nora had been frail. Emily wasn’t going to die. They were going to be together for a long time—maybe even after Cody was grown up. He’d be happy to live with his best friend forever.

  6

  Emily

  Emily glanced down at the pathetic flats on her feet. They had a scuff on the outside of the right shoe. Her flour sack of a dress hung on her frame, and she’d worn her hair in a messy bun at the base of her neck. Not exactly the blushing bride, she nevertheless flushed with heat when the justice of the peace told Xavier to kiss his wife.

  Her heart thundered inside her chest as she slowly lifted her gaze to meet his. Two blue pools of panic might as well have been a mirror into her soul. She lifted her fist up.

  He caught on quick and brushed his knuckles against hers.

  The whole thing was ridiculous and stupid and made her giggle. They were crazy for getting married, and the sensations made her punch drunk. His shoulders began to shake with barely controlled laughter. By the time the ceremony concluded, they were both holding their bellies and laughing too loud to hear the pronouncement.

  She swiped the moisture out from under her lashes. “Are we as insane as we seem?”

  He swiped at his smile but didn’t manage to wipe it away. “I’m afraid we’re a matching pair.” He stuck out his elbow to escort her from the room. “Mrs. Cohen, are you ready to see your new home?”

  She placed her hand on his forearm, and gathering her best English accent, she replied, “Yes, Mr. Cohen, I believe I am.”

  They promenaded out of the courthouse, their chins lifted, nodding to those who waited in the lobby as if they were royalty, and dissolving into laughter once they hit the parking lot.

  “I can’t believe we just did that.” Xavier leaned against an SUV.

  “What? Act like snobs?” She leaned against her car, facing him. He was handsome in his button-up aqua shirt and slacks. He’d gotten a haircut and a shave for the occasion. She wanted to ask him to take a picture but felt too shy.

  “No. Got married. Does it feel big to you? I think it should feel bigger.”

  A trickle of disappointment went down her back. This wasn’t the wedding she’d thought of as a child or teenager. Heck, it wasn’t the wedding she’d pictured when she was 25. But if love wasn’t in the cards for her, then this situation was the best-case scenario. “I don’t think it’s sunk in yet.”

  “When do you think it will hit us?”

  “Probably when we file our taxes jointly,” she joked. Humor helped her hide her disappointment.

  He burst out laughing. “I like you, Emily.”

  His words hit her like a warm blanket just out of the dryer. She wanted nothing more than to snuggle into them and get comfy. But that wasn’t the kind of marriage they’d agreed to. Of course friends could say things like that—they should complement one another. Which meant she should say something back to him. “I like you too.”

  The air between them hummed with awareness. They both pushed off the cars at the same time, spurred into action by the sudden intensity between them. She dug into the pockets of the horrible dress for her keys.

  He walked around to the driver’s side of the SUV. “Do you want to follow me?”

  “Yep.” She dropped behind the steering wheel and slammed the door. She’d have to do better in the future not to let things get serious between them. Laughing, joking, and teasing were all on the approved list—sharing real thoughts and feelings were not.

  With a shake of her head, she started the car and followed Xavier to her new home.

  “Cody, say hi to Emily.”

  Emily smiled encouragingly at the adorable brown-haired boy with chubby cheeks and unsure posture, hovering close to Xavier. They were standing on the front porch doing an awkward meet-your-new-stepmom thing that had her wishing she’d read a book or at least an online article about how to meet your stepchild for the first time.

  “Hi,” he said with more confidence than she’d expected.

  “You’ve got your father’s blue eyes and his nose.” She held back from tapping him with her finger. He was so cute her motherly instincts did backflips of joy.

  Cody craned his neck to see around her. “Is that your bike?”

  She turned to look at the driveway, where she’d parked behind Xavier. Her mountain bike was indeed attached to the rack on the truck. She’d hoped to get a job at the local ski resort this summer guiding bike tours, but that wouldn’t work out now that she was a full-time mom. She could still hit the trails, though. “Yeah. I love to ride. Do you?”

  “I don’t know how.” He dropped his chin, and her heartstrings played a sorrowful tune.

  “We’ll just have to teach you, then.” With his little lip popping out like that, she would have offered him the whole mountain.

  He lifted his face up, revealing hope. “When?”

  “As soon as we can,” she promised.

  He grinned fully. Forget the mountain; she’d give him anything and everything.

  “But not right now.” Xavier put his hand on Cody’s back. “We need to get Emily settled in the house first.” He showed them all inside.

  Emily took in the toys on the floor, the dishes on the counter, and the open popcorn bag on the coffee table spilling kernels.

  “It’s bad. I know.” Xavier scratched his temple. “I’m not expecting you to clean this up. I thought Cody and I could work on it while you unpacked.” His eyes glazed over, and she thought back to their conversation about his creative mind being somewhat chaotic.

  Emily knew that look. She had a roommate who was a master mathematician, but when it came to organizing items, the best she could do was put things in piles. Usually, the piles made sense to her—categorized by shapes or colors—but they were a jumbled mess to the rest of the world. For example, she’d put shampoo bottles and spices in the same place because they were cylinders.

  While Emily completely understood, it had also driven her nuts. Thankfully, he’d warned her so she wouldn’t think he had pulled a fast one on her. However, she couldn’t let them think that she was okay living like this. They’d have to learn some basic skills—and throw away the junk. “I can unpack in a bit. Let’s do this together.”

  If the ticking
vein on Xavier’s forehead was any indication of his stress level, the fact that it disappeared at her offer to help was a good sign. “I’m not sure where to start,” he admitted.

  She marched over to the wall and grabbed almost-empty rubber tubs. “Let’s work with two ideas: a keep pile and a donate pile.” She held up each tub, indicating which one was which. “Like this toy.” The rattle was obviously much too young for Cody. “I’ll bet Cody hasn’t used this in ages.”

  “I don’t think he ever used it, to be honest.”

  “Then it goes in the donate pile.” She dropped it into the box.

  “Is this a Mary Poppins thing?” Xavier teased as he added two more toddler toys to the donation box.

  “It’s more of an Oprah thing,” she joked back.

  Cody dropped several books into the keep pile, then grabbed one back out and put it in the donate box. She thought about his diagnosis. Learning to bike would help him be active. Without even trying hard, she thought of another fifteen fun things to try with him.

  Xavier’s hand touched her lower back, and she froze. That was the first time a man had touched any part of her other than her hand since the attack. Her conscious mind knew that there wasn’t a threat, but her body had different ideas. A heartbeat later, she stepped away, her pulse thundering.

  “What about this?” He held up a video game. “Is it possible to donate it?”

  She didn’t think being close to Xavier would bother her so much, but the way her heart raced around the room left her wondering. She’d have to find some time to see the counselor and ask about her response, because it didn’t make sense that she’d have that strong of a reaction to Xavier. Unless... “They’ll take games, but they won’t take televisions or projectors.”

  “Good to know.” He tossed it into box.

  Curious, she stepped closer to Xavier, close enough to breathe in his soapy clean scent. Her head felt light. Not in the freezing, unable-to-fight-or-yell way it had in the workout room, but in a heady fog of attraction.

  Well, shoot! That could be a problem. A very big problem, considering she was now living with him in a platonic marriage for the sole purpose of raising Cody together. At least she knew her reaction wasn’t a by-product of the assault. That was comforting. She’d have to squash these feelings before they grew into something more. Their purpose was Cody, and if she could stay focused on that, then she’d be able to ignore the handsome, good-smelling man who occupied the bedroom down the hall.

  7

  Xavier

  Not wanting to overwhelm Emily on her first night, Xavier offered to do the dinner dishes and get Cody to bed.

  She’d smiled gratefully. “I still have a lot of unpacking to do.”

  He shooed her off, thanking her again for all her help that day. Besides cleaning the front room and kitchen, the three of them had de-junked Cody’s room. Emily made a rule that any toy that came with a meal had to be thrown out. Xavier was shocked that they’d filled a garbage bag. There were also baby toys that could be donated and books Cody had long since outgrown. A few items, ones Nora had bought, Xavier saved, thinking Cody would want them some day for his own kids or perhaps just to feel a connection to the woman who’d given birth to him. The stuffed blue bunny and the cream blanket with the satin edge were Xavier’s memories, bought when he and Nora eagerly anticipated years of raising children together. He tucked them into his closet.

  Emily didn’t make a fuss about saving items—she simply made room for them in toy bins or on shelves. Her consideration of Cody’s feelings, and his, made cleaning out less threatening. It also laid a solid foundation of respect that he was grateful for, as they’d need it for the hard times that were sure to come.

  Xavier was no stranger to hard times in a marriage. He was an artistic spirit who forgot to pay bills if he was wrapped up in a new song. Nora wasn’t always so understanding when the electricity was turned off. The first few times, she’d lit candles and called it romantic. As the pregnancy progressed, she’d become more and more upset with him—even once saying that she worried about what kind of father he would be.

  Coming out of his pondering the past, he glanced about the kitchen, wondering how dusk had settled in without him noticing. Humming, he checked on Cody, who was sleeping soundly, and then turned on lights in the living room. Fresh vacuum lines filled his vision, and his whole soul breathed a sigh of relief.

  It was then that he noticed the tune he hummed. A new sound. He played with a few of the notes to see if they stuck. He hadn’t done that in years.

  He might not be able to create order, but his muse thrived within it. Emily was like a breath of fresh air in the house—the boards and clean floors felt lighter, happier. He sucked in a breath and noticed a light floral scent. He’d noted it followed her around as she moved, and now it lingered in his home. He took another deep breath, letting her presence fill him up.

  With a start, he realized he wasn’t thinking of Emily as a partner or a co-parent, but as a woman. The kind of woman he wanted to get close to. He bolted across the floor and flipped off the lights, plunging the room into darkness so he couldn’t see the vacuum lines or the remotes lined up on the coffee table according to size. He couldn’t shake the flower smell, though, so he headed to his room, where he knew Emily hadn’t been that day.

  Once there, he sniffed, smelling nothing at all. Relaxing, he reminded himself to keep his thoughts about his wife good and proper. He changed clothes and settled into bed, mentally reaching for the melody he’d been humming earlier, but it wouldn’t come. He grunted and rolled over. Maybe tomorrow he’d be able to think of music and keep Emily’s scent out of his head.

  8

  Emily

  Emily hopped out of bed with a sense of purpose and joy. Today was her first full day as a mother, and she couldn’t wait to get started. She glanced at the clock. Starting at 6 a.m. during summer break probably wasn’t going to happen. That was fine. She could use a good yoga burn to get the day going and give her energy to face whatever was thrown her direction.

  After changing into her yoga pants and a sports bra, she rolled her mat out on her carpet and turned on some calming music. She could have gone outside, but she didn’t want to parade past Xavier in her yoga clothes. That felt … a little too intimate. And maybe a part of her was still worried about the assault. Not that she thought Xavier would assault her, but she wasn’t ready for a man to look at her with interest. Not that kind of interest, anyway.

  After an hour of working out, she took a quick shower and dressed in a pair of women’s cargo shorts and a men’s tee shirt with Bob Ross on the front. She kind of liked the cool vibe Bob sent off, and the phrase “You’ve got problems? Make them into birds” was funny even if she felt slouchy in the baggy clothes.

  Slouchy was the whole point, though she had to wonder if it was for Xavier’s benefit or for her own. Xavier had made it clear he wasn’t looking for romance or a physical relationship, which made her think that she could have danced around the house in a leotard and he wouldn’t have paid her any mind. Therefore, the baggy clothing was for her peace of mind. She wasn’t sure she wanted to dive into the psychological whys right then, so she set out to make breakfast for her new family.

  The house was quiet with sleep. She glanced at the clock. It was 7:30. Hmm, maybe the smell of breakfast cooking would bring out the hibernating bears. She opened the fridge to find condiments and the leftovers from their dinner delivery. Where was the fruit? The yogurt? The veggies? For the love, where was the meat? She thought of an old Wendy’s commercial where people asked, “Where’s the beef?” and smiled.

  She drummed her fingers on the countertop. Not even an egg. Well, she’d just have to go shopping. Xavier had given her a card for household expenses; food was definitely on that list.

  Swiping her keys from the bowl by the front door, she said, “It’s time to start mom-ing.”

  An hour and a half later, Emily staggered through the front door, half
expecting to find a confused husband and starving child eagerly anticipating her return. Instead, she found the house the same way she’d left it.

  Setting the bags on the counter, she headed in to check on Cody. He was asleep, his arm thrown across his face. His room was gloomy with the blinds drawn and the sun desperately trying to get in. She nudged him, but he simply rolled over and ignored her.

  Maybe food would help.

  Her mom would have pulled the covers off and tickled her until she was begging to get off the bed. Somehow, she didn’t think that would go over well with Cody. He’d been so sweet with her yesterday, but waking up to her this morning would be a shock.

  She paused at Xavier’s door. She wasn’t even sure what was on the other side of it, because she hadn’t gone in there yesterday. He’d been a gentleman and placed her boxes outside her bedroom door, firmly drawing etiquette lines in the sand so she knew that their bedrooms were off-limits to one another. That was fine with her. It made her feel safe here. Therefore, she wouldn’t—couldn’t—open that door.