Fearless Like Us

by Krista Ritchie

  Maybe they think they’re strong enough to handle the fallout.

  Stronger than me.

  I think you’re too weak for it. Charlie’s opinion from last month is haunting me. Like he’s my Ghost of One Month’s Past.

  “My brother is a fuckin’…” Banks swears into a growl under his breath, typing a message to Thatcher fast.

  Akara is on the phone with a surveillance team. The library is now off-limits until the all-clear. Everyone is leaving for the lake house tomorrow anyway, so I’m guessing there’ll be another big sweep of the whole penthouse.

  Tightness hangs on my chest, and I lean over and grab the bottle of wine from the basket.

  Jane will be fine.

  She’s strong.

  I’ll be fine.

  I can be strong too.

  I repeat the mantra as I untwist the cap and drink from the bottle.

  43

  BANKS MORETTI

  “Mother of dragons,” I curse. My big toe throbs from the edge of a picnic table. A lot of obstacles lie from the graveled driveway to the lake house. Icy paths, tree stumps covered in snow, this fuckin’ picnic table, and a bunch of other bodies weaving in and out carrying luggage and groceries.

  Two duffel bags hang from my shoulders, and I cradle the most precious thing in my hands. A custom birthday cake in the shape of Bilbo’s home in the Shire. Xander’s birthday might be five days away, but there aren’t any bakeries close to the lake house. Especially not ones that’d master this Lord of the Rings setting.

  Don’t drop the cake.

  It’s my one job.

  The front door is too heavily trafficked, so I take the steps up the back deck slowly. I have the best view of the frozen lake, and off in the distance, smoke plumes from the chimney of security’s cabin. One that Triple Shield shares with Kitsuwon Securities.

  I stop for a second, letting this moment settle in.

  Being here with Sulli’s family for the holidays is new. It’s different. Don’t know if I need someone to pinch me to make it feel more real. But I’m not sure it feels wrong. Anywhere Sulli goes, feels right to be alongside her. Not just because I’m her bodyguard.

  Ingesting a deep breath of fresh air, I land at the backdoor, and I slide it open with my elbow. Carefully balancing the cake, I slip inside and shift some groceries on the counter. Finding room to place Bilbo’s home.

  “Oh hey,” Sulli says, dumping a case of water in front of the fridge. “You made it?” She sees the cake in one piece.

  “Just barely. I almost broke a sweat.”

  She gathers her hair in a messy bun. “Now I know your weakness. Carrying cake.”

  I scratch the back of my head, then stuff my hands in my pockets. “I have plenty of weaknesses.” My mouth curves up seeing Sulli drift closer to me.

  I near her.

  “Like cigarettes?” she asks.

  I smile a little more. “Yeah. Plus, a medium-rare ribeye, a good porter—”

  “Friday Night Fight,” she interjects with an elbow nudge to my waist. “You always watch wrestling. I bet that one’s your favorite.”

  “Yeah, it is.” My smile keeps spreading. “I’m also weak for late-night card games.”

  “Gin rummy.”

  I’ve been teaching her how to play.

  I nod, “Gin rummy.”

  And she steps forward. Like that correct answer earns a foot closer to me. She’s one competitive beauty.

  I watch as Sulli places her soles on the outside of my feet. With no more room to go forward, her body knocks against my chest, and I press a hand to her lower back. Stabilizing Sulli, I keep her up against my muscular build.

  Her fingers curl around my shirt. “What else are you weak for?”

  “Water ice,” I breathe. “Pizzelles during Christmastime.” I dip my head to whisper huskily, deeply, “And the smokeshow right in front of me.”

  She drinks me in. “I’m a weakness?”

  “You make me weak at the knees, strong at the heart.”

  Sulli chews on the corner of her lip that grows in a giddy smile. “Fuck, you…you do this thing where you look at me like I’m…” She expels a shortened breath. “Banks.”

  “You are fucking gorgeous, Sulli.” I skim her strong features. “And if you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m the poor bastard you’ve devoured whole.”

  Her eyes build with emotion. “I’m really glad you came here. I know you could’ve spent Christmas with your mom and grandma—who wouldn’t rag on you like my dad might—and I just…I’m just really fucking happy to have you here. With me.”

  I slide my hand against her cheek, holding her face in a sturdy grip. Her breath hitches, and it takes everything in my unholy soul not to pin her against the fridge and lift her leg around my waist.

  Don’t let this end. Don’t let her go.

  I know Ryke Meadows wishes I’d just fuck off already, and that constant reminder is gonna be up-close-and-personal this holiday season.

  But I’m not a coward. I wasn’t going to bail out of fear, and Sulli wants me here. She wants both of her boyfriends here.

  “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” I cock my head to Bilbo’s home. “And from now on, I’ll give you the cakes to carry.”

  Her chin raises to meet my eyes better. “You really trust me with cake?”

  I almost laugh. “No. I know you’ll either eat it or throw it.”

  She matches my smile. “Then why give it to me?”

  “Because you love cake,” I breathe, my hand still encasing her cheek. “And I want to give you everything you love. Even if you devour it all in the end.”

  Her green, green eyes drop to my lips.

  I lower my head more, so close to kissing Sulli. And then a shape enters my peripheral. Someone’s here.

  They clear their throat.

  Sulli jumps. “Fuck.” She holds her heart, stepping out of my embrace. “Fuck, Moffy. I thought you were my dad.”

  Maximoff places a plastic tub on the floor. Sharpie on the side reads Christmas Garland. “Last I checked, I haven’t been body-snatched.” He straightens up. “So nope, not Ryke.” He nods to me in greeting, but a slight toughness lingers behind his green eyes that says, don’t break my cousin’s heart or I’ll fucking destroy you.

  I remember Thatcher being gifted that treasure of a glare, and Maximoff Hale thinks he’s being all tough with me. Little does he know, I’m honored to be on the receiving end of his protective threats.

  Means I’m with Sulli.

  So I slip a toothpick between my lips and bite down, trying not to smile.

  “This is all the garland I could find in the attic,” Maximoff tells her.

  Sulli explains to me, “We all pitch-in and decorate the house on the first day. I always do the garland and wreaths. Which is a good thing you’re here—because last time I tried to hang a wreath on the highest window, I had Tom hold my ankles while I was halfway out of a windowsill. Let’s just say I dropped the fucking wreath and Tom almost dropped me.”

  Jesus.

  “Rest assured, I’m not dropping you out of a fuckin’ window.”

  “Totally fucking assured.” She grins.

  Maximoff moves to leave and tells Sulli, “Fair warning—if you want zero conflict this week, then you probably need to keep the PDA on the negative-hundred level when my dad shows up. He’s still not really cool with you three dating each other.”

  No surprise there. Loren Hale is the most overprotective of all the dads. And he’s Ryke’s half-brother, so I’m sure he’s waiting to boot-kick my ass out of the lake house.

  Sulli nods stiffly, smile gone. “Thanks for the heads up, Moffy.”

  We wait until he leaves, and then Sulli pulls back into me. “Where were we before…you know?” She motions to where her cousin left, her yearning eyes never leaving mine. Never wanting this to end.

  “Right about here.” I discard my toothpick. And I lean down. Clutching her cheek in a strong hand,
I close the distance like I’m crashing through a door.

  I kiss Sulli with all the desire erupting inside me. Our lips meld, and she melts and arches and I hold her closer. Feeling her eagerness to journey fast and far up against my tongue, I urge deeper. Soulful force bridges us together.

  Her hands don’t stay still. Can’t stay still. They roam all over me like they never want to land, and my pulse beats in a rushed, heavy fucking rhythm.

  I take her ass in my palm.

  She gasps in a breathy, raspy wanting sound, pummeling me.

  Our eyes cling tighter than our hands, and Sullivan Meadows is eating me alive. We crash into another mind-blowing kiss that screams and claws. Her fingers clench around my shirt, and my hands are snared in her wild hair.

  We’re at her dad’s lake house. Before I’m tempted to walk her into the fridge, I break the sweltering kiss. Leaving us breathless.

  “Fucking whoa.” She grips the counter, dizzy. “That was…not negative-hundred.”

  I rub my lips that start to upturn. Lord knows I want to kiss Sulli without cracking a crater into hell, but if hell is where I need to go, I’m going. “You wanna dial it back?” Even as I ask, I can see the answer on her face.

  “Fuck, no.” She touches her reddened lips. “I guess that was what…a level-seventy?”

  “Yeah, about there.”

  “Let’s just keep PDA at that level then. Respectful but not fucking hiding.”

  “Amen,” I nod with a growing smile. “I’ll let Akara know.” He’s at security’s cabin right now having a meeting with Oscar, Quinn, Gabe, and Donnelly. The guys who aren’t dating a famous one.

  When I bend down to unload the water bottles, Winona slips into the kitchen with three canvas tote bags of groceries.

  “Hey, Nona, I’ve got that…” Sulli trails off because I already take her sister’s bags.

  “Thanks, Banks,” Winona says, a little cautious around me. Like she’s still determining my intentions with her older sister. Sulli told me Winona is Team Triad, but Akara and I think that’s what Winona hopes to be.

  She doesn’t really know me. I’ve never been a Meadows bodyguard until recently. She hasn’t really seen me with her sister like she’s seen Akara.

  It’s alright.

  I’m used to being seen but not seen. The twin. It always takes extra effort for people to get to know me.

  I nod to Winona. “No problem.” I place the groceries next to the Bilbo cake.

  She ties the bottom of her cargo shirt that came undone. “Sulli, I, uh, have some bad news.” She winces and tucks a strand of dishwater-blonde hair behind her ear.

  Sulli frowns. “What is it, squirt?”

  I kick the fridge open, listening as I shove a few water bottles onto the shelf.

  “My Christmas present for you.” Winona is still wincing. “I have to tell you what it is. I don’t think you’ll want it anymore, and I don’t want you to be bummed out when you open it.”

  “There’s no way I’d—”

  “It’s a Vegan Lover shirt and a mug,” Winona cuts her off nervously. “And a vegan restaurant guide. I should’ve realized you weren’t that into it. I just—”

  “Oh no, those are fucking awesome presents. I still want them.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Positive.” Sulli smiles off her sister’s smile. “And hey, I might not be vegan, but you all are fucking rock stars to me. Even more than before.”

  Winona bounces towards her sister like a kangaroo, and they do a long, secret handshake that includes howling.

  My mouth curves up again.

  Meadows girls.

  I watch Sulli for an extra beat, her brown hair spilling madly around her squared jaw and lively green eyes. You fucking fool, Banks Roscoe Moretti, you fell in love with a Meadows girl.

  How this all plays out with her family and the world is yet to be seen. All I know is I’m not leaving willingly. Who’s gonna drag my ass away?

  Her dad?

  Paparazzi?

  Internet trolls?

  Come at me.

  “NONA! WHERE YOU AT?!” Vada Abbey’s voice sounds off from the front door.

  Winona’s face brightens. Her friends are here.

  “WINNY WINNY NONA!”

  The Meadows sisters squeeze each other in one last tight hug before Winona races off. She peeks back at me, and I just wave goodbye.

  I’d like to think she’s smiling, but the wall out in front of her knows better than me.

  Sulli comes closer. “I know Winona doesn’t care, but I still wish I could’ve lasted longer.”

  “You couldn’t be vegan forever. It’s hard for people who aren’t picky eaters, and no offense, you’re probably the pickiest of ‘em all.”

  She mock huffs. “I am thoroughly fucking offended.”

  “That so?” I abandon a water bottle to edge nearer.

  My hands fall to her hips.

  “No, I haven’t fucking told her,” Ryke says. His gruff voice sounds close, and Sulli and I share a frown before we split apart.

  Her parents aren’t supposed to be here until tonight. After clutching her hand, I follow the sound a quarter down the hallway.

  Maximoff’s broad shoulder peeks from the study, and I pull Sulli against the wall before we reach that room.

  I press my finger to her lips. Her heart thumps hard against my chest.

  “Are you planning on it?” Maximoff asks on speaker phone. With Ryke.

  “I don’t fucking know,” Ryke curses into a groan. “She’s going to be so upset with me. I’m fucking everything up these days.”

  Someone else laughs dryly over the phone. “Christ, it’s about time. For a minute there, I thought I was the only screw up.” Loren Hale. Maximoff’s dad.

  Maximoff must be on a three-way call with his dad and uncle.

  Sulli’s shoulders drop, and as quietly as she can, she whispers to me, “You think he regrets trying to make me choose one of you?”

  Could be. I shrug while we listen more.

  “Gloat all you want, Lo,” Ryke says. “I’m still fucked.”

  “You ate a burger; you didn’t commit a mortal sin,” Loren retorts.

  Sulli looks crushed. His whole regret was about Winona, not her. Ryke was supposed to be vegan. Her face contorts in a series of emotions, some I can’t pull apart.

  I step even closer, my body welding with hers and she wraps her arms around my waist. Burying her head in my chest.

  It’s alright, mermaid.

  After a few minutes, we return to the kitchen and unload some groceries. Sulli is quiet, putting away some squash and zucchini. And then she grabs a Yuengling from the fridge and kicks the door closed.

  Before I say a thing, she pops the cap and takes the biggest swig.

  My family are drinkers. Whiskey with coffee. Wine with dinner. Beer just because. But I’ve never told anyone to stop because I feared they were abusing alcohol.

  I have my own vices that I’ve been trying to kick.

  And seeing Sulli turn to alcohol during rough times reminds me of me and my toxic relationship with cigarettes.

  I rake a hand over my mouth two times, then drop my palm. “We sharing that?” Not waiting for an answer, I grab the bottle and take a very generous swig.

  “We are now.” She wipes her lips with her bicep, then snatches the beer back.

  Backdoor suddenly opens.

  Perfect fucking timing. I’m not the only one who’s noticed Sulli reaching for alcohol when she’s feeling down.

  Akara struts inside and brushes snow off his black hair. He sees me first. “As a parting gift at the security cabin, Donnelly and Quinn pelted me with snowballs.”

  I crack a smile. “Sounds about right.”

  He sees the beer in Sulli’s hand. “What’s going on?” This isn’t good. Alcohol should not be an indication of what’s wrong with Sulli?

  Akara’s head swings to me.

  “We should talk upstairs,” I
suggest.

  He nods, and I take Sulli’s hand in mine.

  When we exit the kitchen into the humongous living room, the fake Christmas tree is halfway erected, and I see plastic tubs of holiday décor on the second and third balcony level. Ben and Xander are arguing quietly while they unravel multi-colored lights on the couch.

  They go quiet as we pass. I feel their curiosity on us. They know about our triad, but it’s not often Sulli’s younger cousins see us together.

  Sulli swings back around to face her teenage cousins. “Yes, these are my boyfriends.”

  Xander looks at me like I’m nuts. “You’re also dating Akara?”

  “Not exactly, kid.”

  Confusion scrunches his face. “I don’t get it.”

  “You don’t have to get it,” Sulli interjects. Her hostility originates from what she overheard with her dad, but it unleashes on these two. “It’s my fucking life.”

  “Whoa, okay, Jesus.” Xander shrinks back.

  Ben frowns. “Why are you so angry?”

  “I’m not angry!” she shouts, clearly angry.

  Akara tells them quickly, “Okay, hello, goodbye.” He ushers Sulli forward, his arm around her broad shoulders.

  My hand is still in hers, and she’s squeezing harder. Her face is bright red. And I want to take away the pain she’s been feeling. Her hurt and frustration and everything else bearing on her body, but it’s not as easy as counting one, two, three.

  We climb the staircase to the second floor. Stepping over a box of ornaments and moving around a four-foot Santa, Sulli swigs more beer.

  Akara steals the bottle this time, finishing off the last drop as we all slip into a guest room.

  Our room for the holiday.

  It’s a fuckin’ miracle her dad is even allowing me and Akara to sleep at his lake house, let alone in the same room as her. But Sulli threatened to spend Christmas in Costa Rica if they didn’t let us come along.

  Ryke caved.

  Sulli plops onto the green reindeer quilt, bedding already switched for the holidays. “I fucking hate this.”

  I lean on the dresser. “Which part?”

  Akara gives me a look. “How about we start from the jump?”

  “We overheard Maximoff talking to Loren and Ryke.” I explain the rest in a couple seconds.