Fearless Like Us

by Krista Ritchie

  Only in my reality, I barrel past them, unable to break my forceful stride in enough time. And I have to double-back in an arc and sharp breath, “Kits—”

  “Sul—”

  “I love you,” I cut him off strongly. “I fucking love you, and I’d rather have you and live in madness than not have you at all. So don’t go—”

  “I’m not going anywhere,” Akara emphasizes, concern and distress all over his face. “I would’ve never had sex with you and then broke things off—I’m not trying to emotionally toy with you or confuse you. I’m trying to be better than I was, than I did.”

  He is.

  “You are,” I tell him.

  Akara inhales, “I was never planning on leaving tonight or tomorrow. I should’ve been clearer earlier—I thought I was, but I didn’t say everything I should’ve.”

  I breathe easier, calmer, especially seeing Banks’ soft, almost-there smile that rises and rises. “What should you’ve said, Kits?”

  He edges forward. “That I’m staying. That I never stopped wanting to be with you and Banks. That it’s too painful to be without you. That I can’t live without you, Sullivan Minnie Meadows, and I’ve felt the truth in that. That for as much as I will always protect you, I can never stop loving you, and whatever happens tomorrow, I’m not leaving. I’m never leaving you.”

  “Not for anything?” I ask, hope surging. We’ve drawn closer.

  “Not for anything,” he promises, his hand skimming the edge of my cheek and jaw.

  “Even if it’s the stupid thing to do?”

  “Even if it’s the stupidest fudging thing in the world—I’m stupidly in love with you.” He presses his forehead to mine. “You are my heart when I forget I have one and my happiness in every day. I hope I can be the Kits you’ve hoped for, the Kits who keeps you whole—”

  “You’re the Kits I love the fucking most,” I interject. “You don’t need to keep me whole. Just be happy with me. With us.”

  Tears slip down his cheeks as he brings me closer and kisses me tenderly. I clutch the back of his neck, feeling our lives flash through our history. Friendship. Flirting. New fights. New roads. Kissing. Love. And still, this is my favorite time with him.

  Now.

  On a new adventure.

  A bigger one.

  We pull apart, and Banks is practically grinning. “I feel like a proud Mother Goose.”

  I laugh, wiping my wet eyes, and Akara shakes his head with a growing smile.

  “Just so we’re crystal,” I say, “we’re all together again?”

  “Yes,” Akara says.

  Banks nods, then looks me over. “Where’s your head at about the public?”

  “I—”

  Akara’s phone rings, and with the sip-in-snow party from hell, plus the revelation about Orion’s dog collar, the interruption isn’t surprising but actually welcome. We all want answers and resolutions.

  “It’s Connor Cobalt.” He waits to answer. “I’m going to call a security meeting soon about the leaks. We’ll table this? Later but soon.”

  Later but soon. I nod heartily. “Sounds like a plan.”

  Late-late night back at the penthouse, all of SFO are still absent at a mega-security meeting involving Triple Shield and Kitsuwon Securities. Leaving me alone with my three cousins.

  Underneath galaxy lights in Luna’s bedroom, Moffy, Jane, Luna, and I camp out on a fuzzy midnight rug in a circle, a bowl of M&Ms and Chex Mix between us.

  Usually when we hang out all together like this, I feel our youth. But tonight, I feel our twenties pass between us. What we’ve dealt with isn’t kid stuff.

  Moffy had his sex life blasted.

  Jane had a cheating rumor blow-up.

  Luna had her private fanfics condemned.

  And I had my health, love life, and sex life totally fucking exposed.

  “I think we’ve come out completely and entirely unscathed this time,” Jane says into a sip of coffee, hands wrapped around a pastel pink mug. Wavy hair tied in a cat-printed ribbon. “Don’t you feel it, old chap?”

  Maximoff smiles. “I’m feeling partially charred.”

  “A teeny bit scratched,” Jane agrees.

  “Semi-crispy,” Luna sing-songs.

  “Fucking burnt,” I finish.

  We all share soft smiles that fade into seriousness with incoming texts.

  I pop M&Ms in my mouth and read mine. “Akara says the perp was…Tatiana Grace? Who’s that?”

  Jane goes eerily still. “Merde.”

  Maximoff glances from his phone to Jane. “A cat sitter?” He reads his texts. “Farrow said it’s bigger than that.”

  Luna munches on Chex Mix. “I’m lost.”

  Our boyfriends are texting us updates as the security meeting unfolds, and Luna is the only one without a bodyguard boyfriend.

  “I interviewed Tatiana,” Jane explains, her face pinched in hurt. “Thatcher said she’s the one who physically attached listening devices to Orion and Arkham’s collars. She confessed after they showed the cat sitters the devices tonight.”

  During every sweep of the penthouse, we always took the puppies out with us, so surveillance teams never found the bugs. Uncle Stokes even brought Orion and Arkham to his house during the holidays.

  Jane breathes, “I must’ve…I must’ve been distracted by my cats during the interview. I didn’t see her touch the dogs, and Thatcher wasn’t with me.” She buries her face in her palms.

  Moffy wraps an arm around her. “It’s okay, Janie.”

  “She seemed sweet. She’s a single mom living around where Thatcher grew up.”

  A pit is in my stomach seeing Jane take the fall. “I’m sure she was, Jane. Hey, it’s not your fucking fault.”

  “It could’ve been any of us,” Luna whispers, so softly that I strain my ears to pick up the words.

  No wonder her life leaked the least. She’s a whispering badass. “I need whispering tips, Luna.”

  “You just talk like this.” Her voice grows so quiet and calming, she could sell ASMR videos.

  “Like this,” I try to mimic very fucking poorly, and Jane starts laughing. We smile over at her, happy to quell her sadness.

  Moffy licks his lips, then gestures his phone around the circle. “So the cat sitter planted the bugs—but why? Makes no damn sense, in any universe.”

  “In my universe, it makes a lot of sense,” Luna says. “The cat sitter is obviously a smuggler of space dust.”

  Maximoff smiles. “Makes total sense now. Space dust is high currency, and I’m guessing Luna is hoarding a massive amount.”

  “Tons,” Luna grins.

  A weird sense of calm passes between us now.

  For two months we’ve endured the leaks. Strange to think in a couple hours, maybe even less, this could be the end of the constant unease of what bomb is dropping next.

  Our phones go off again.

  We all try our best to read out loud for Luna and to piece together information we’re given. “Banks just told me Tatiana was a pawn. She was being…”

  “Blackmailed,” Maximoff says rigidly. “By wealthier ‘individuals’.”

  “More than one person?” Jane muses quietly.

  I say aloud, “So Tatiana isn’t the mole.”

  “Oui,” Jane nods. “They just used her to plant the bugs.”

  We text back for more info, but the messages go silent for a little bit. And I take the opportunity to tell them, “Akara and I are back together. Banks is still with me too.”

  Luna bursts in a smile. “The trio’s back in town.” She wags her fingers with my fingers, and light illuminates in me but flickers knowing I need to face Moffy and Jane.

  Maximoff is harder to read. My big brother in spirit. He straightens up, swimmer’s shoulders pulled taut with a sort of protectiveness I’ve always known and seen. A genuine smile touches his green eyes. “He better not leave again.”

  Sudden emotion nearly spurns tears. “Is that you saying…you actual
ly want us to stay together?”

  “Yeah. Totally. Completely. Colossally. Together.”

  Holy fuck.

  I’m stunned speechless.

  “It’s not really for me to decide what you do.” He licks his lips again, empathy so clear now. “You know I have this husband who lives his life so damn authentically. He makes me a better person…and all I want is for you to be happy, Sulli, and to be able to live your life so damn proudly too. So whatever you might face out in public or in the media, I’m here if you need me. Just one Bat Signal away.”

  I immediately reach forward and hug Moffy.

  He hugs back.

  “That means…everything to me, Mof.” To have my family more firmly and supportive on my side—it’s the best feeling in the fucking world.

  It dawns on me that I’ve rarely extended the same offer to Moffy. Maybe because he so rarely turns to others for help. The FanCon Tour was one of the biggest times I could be there for him. “If you ever need me, too, Moffy, I’m just one Mermaid Signal away.” I’m not sure if he’ll ever take me up on the offer, but he’s not flinging it aside.

  He smiles. “Thanks, Sulli.”

  We break apart, and Jane mimes the tip of a top hat to me. “I’m here as well. I can’t promise I won’t always love Banks a little differently since he’s my brother-in-law, but I sincerely believe you three are better together as one.” She smiles brightly. “Toujours.”

  I know very few French words, but that one I’m fucking certain means always.

  I breathe in the word and mime the tip of a top hat back. We share a burgeoning grin, and then our phones go off again.

  We fumble for them, and my jaw unhinges at the new texts. No fucking way. I go cold. Stomach roiling. “Did you guys…?” I whip my head up to Maximoff and Jane. She has her fingers to her lips, blue eyes like saucers.

  Maximoff’s gaze flashes hot. “You’ve got to be shitting me.”

  “What? Who?” Luna asks, crunching on Chex Mix.

  “Oh shit. Sorry, Luna.” My voice is tight, ribs shrinking over my lungs. Anger tries to boil, but shock is overriding any rage. “They know who the mole is. Tatiana ratted them out.”

  I can’t say the name.

  The name we all know.

  The name I intimately know.

  I stare haunted at the phone. Like it’s a fucking typo.

  Maximoff tells his sister, “The Rochester family—they created The Royal Leaks.”

  Luna immediately turns to me. “Are you okay?”

  “Sulli?” Moffy asks.

  I swallow harder. “My ex-boyfriend wouldn’t…Will is nice.” I’m in denial for a hot second, then I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Fuckfuckfuck, what if this is break-up revenge?”

  And he came after my roommates.

  This isn’t Jane’s fault. It’s mine.

  I feel sick.

  “He’s dead.” Moffy is on his feet.

  Jane pulls him down.

  He’s trying to cool off, and Luna side-hugs me.

  “They just said the Rochester family,” Jane reminds us. “Will Rochester isn’t the only sibling. Wesley, Wyatt, and Winnifred—not to mention, their parents. The probability that their parents were going after our parents is high. An old money family trying to manipulate the stocks of their competitors.”

  The motive is there.

  “Will they be arrested?” I ask Moffy and Jane.

  Moffy is staring at his phone. “They have as much money as our families. I doubt they left any evidence. They have fall guys.”

  “Tatiana,” I realize. Fuck.

  “What about her confession?” Luna asks.

  “It’s just her word,” Jane replies sadly. “If there’s no evidence, we’ll only be able to go after Tatiana for planting the bugs.”

  We’re not cutting the head off the snake. But Akara texts me that the Hale, Cobalt, and Meadows’ lawyers are aimed at the Rochesters, and how litigation can be the best form of pressure.

  It’s time they’re under some.

  “They’re taking down the website now,” Jane says. “Look.”

  I pop up The Royal Leaks.

  The most recent leak about Plan B is there. I refresh the gossip site, and the web browser says magic words that breathe power and life into us.

  Sorry, the page you were looking for does not exist or is not available.

  “Fucking finally.”

  The air untenses for a while, but I have another announcement that jostles my nerves. An announcement that I discussed briefly with Akara and Banks on the drive here. I wait to tell my cousins until we’re with security.

  Once SFO arrive, we all pick ourselves off the floor and meet them in the living room. The door opens, and we all stand, waiting for our bodyguards.

  I expect them to be spent, sort of dragging their heels. Groaning at the long, long fucking day. But they’re not exhausted or drained.

  SFO come inside with mighty, unrelenting confidence. Like pillars and rocks of our lives. Like they’re ready for more.

  Donnelly lets Orion and Arkham loose, and Moffy and Luna embrace their puppies. Quinn, on crutches, is invited inside, even though he’s no longer SFO. We all signed his cast. And Gabe is a new bodyguard on the small fleet.

  They all face us, and we face them.

  I breathe in the care, the safety, the protection—not manufactured or some fucking illusion meant to trick and deceive into a false sense of security. They’re the reason I came out of New Year’s Eve without a scratch. They’re the reason the chaos of our lives is livable.

  Now it’s up to us to live out our lives.

  “It’s over,” Akara declares.

  “Thank fucking God,” I exhale, approaching Banks and Akara. They hug me, and I let them know I told my cousins about our reunited triad. But I notice a black jewelry box in Akara’s hand. “What’s that?”

  Is he proposing?

  No.

  No fucking way.

  “A gift from Connor,” he tells me.

  I exhale a breath. Okay. Right. Makes way more sense. Banks can see through me. He’s watching my expression, and I try to hide my reddened face by urging Akara to open the box.

  He shows me the platinum cufflinks.

  My lips rise. “That was nice of my uncle.”

  Very quietly, Akara tells me, “He’s not the dad I wanted to impress. But I’ll take this win.”

  I haven’t had time to talk to my dad about our newly reunited triad, but I know after everything we went through, he’ll be in my corner. He promised to protect my love, and that means not being on opposite sides of Akara and Banks.

  Before I can respond, Oscar shouts over everyone, “Looks like it’s now Kitsuwon Securities 3 – Triple Shield 3.” All of SFO start clapping for Akara.

  I join in with my cousins.

  He points over at me and Banks. Like we solved the fucking mystery. I shove his arm. “Come on, it was the two of you, Hardy Boys.”

  Akara messes my messy hair. “You were there too, Nancy Drew.” He smiles at me. “Claim this win with us.”

  I’m about to mention how I thought Jane was the Nancy Drew. But…then I realize I can be one, too.

  “When you put it like that, Kits, you know I’m not going to say no.” All feels right. All feels happy, except I’m about to launch more news. No time is better than now. “Everyone, I have something to say.” Facing SFO and my cousins isn’t as hard as before, but where I’m headed is a whole new adventure. One I’ve been on before.

  And I begin to smile before I say the words.

  59

  AKARA KITSUWON

  Early morning after the never-ending night and Sulli’s big announcement, which she’s going to announce to the world today—Sulli wakes at dawn, and I whisper, “It’s later and soon.” Meaning, we have more time to talk about our public-facing relationship.

  “Let’s go to the treehouse first,” Sulli says to us. “I left something there.”

  Now th
e three of us are in winter jackets and crunching snow, hiking through the backyard of the Meadows cottage, and my life is resting in the tips of my fingers. What I want and love, I’m holding.

  Sulli.

  Banks.

  SFO.

  Studio 9 is still standing, for now. Kitsuwon Securities is back on track after a few missteps. I even plan to stay as Luna’s bodyguard for a little longer, the twenty-year-old fanfic writer who’s in pursuit of a business degree. She could use an experienced bodyguard until Quinn recovers, and I want to keep Gabe as the floater.

  It feels apropos guarding a future businesswoman.

  And I’ll be in college. Sitting in lecture halls that I would’ve taken at eighteen if my dad had lived. Like all things, time circles back around, and I feel like I should be here. Even Sulli agreed I need to maintain course for a little while.

  What I want and love, I won’t drop.

  Yet, I’m scared.

  In the last minute.

  In the final act where we’ve finally hung on and begun to breathe.

  Could everything just blow up again?

  Overcast, the winter sky is gloomy, but our spirits remain high off the wins and our reunion together. The Meadows’ cozy but mammoth treehouse comes into view, nestled among thick branches in nostalgic glory. Windowpanes, wraparound porch, a fake smokestack—this is a clubhouse of a kid’s wildest dreams.

  Sulli reaches the ladder at the tree trunk, and Banks and I stop a couple feet away as our girlfriend plucks a berry and floral wreath off the ladder’s rung. Brushing snow off the woven blue flowers and pieces of fern, she comes closer to us.

  “My mom made this for me.”

  I realize, “It’s a flower crown.”

  Banks inspects the berries.

  I give him a look. “You know what it’s made out of?” Banks understanding plants is news to me.

  “Not a clue. My thumbs are covered in oil, not dirt.”

  Sulli kicks my shin, then his shin in soft Sullivan affection. We’re hooked on her as she says, “These are winterberries, Forget-Me-Nots, and ferns.” She studies the crown with a faraway look. “Banks asked me where my head is at in terms of the public, and I want to be utterly fucking honest with both of you.” Sulli lifts her green eyes with tenacity and resolve. Gold-medal confidence that I’ve seen propel her through finish lines and onto podiums. “I wasn’t ready for the mayhem at New Year’s Eve. I might never be ready for that kind of attention and aggression every single day of my life, but I can’t spend another month, another year—fucking eternity—fearing another leak.”