The Outbreak Series Boxed Set

by Thomas Baker

I would climb into the shower, stretch out and drift off, only to hear the sounds of movement outside and jerk awake. I drank from the sink until it stopped working. Hunger is whatfinally drove me out.

  I've seen plenty of slasher flicks. I knew what I was going to do. Go straight for the kitchen, grab the biggest knife I had. If it was clear, I would also grab some food and run right to my room.

  I threw open the door, one hand holding onto my towel, and flew to the kitchen. Good thing that was my plan too, as there was one zombie still in my apartment. I tried not to look straight at the remains of my roommate. I just concentrated on getting the knife, keeping the zombie in my peripheral vision. I made it, pulling the blade from the knife block. The undead thing shuffled its way across the room, its steps sounding like someone was scraping the floor with a wet mop. I didn't want to fight it. I just wanted to get past it and get the hell out of there.

  It came at me, faster than I thought it would. I got in a lucky blow, stabbing it in the side of the head. Just like in the movies, it went down. I couldn't catch my breath and thought I was going to hyperventilate. Thinking of passing out on top of the zombie forced me to calm myself. I went to the fridge, grabbing things without reallylooking and ran to my room. Locked the door. Dressed and ate at the same time.

  I felt a little better after doing that, a little more normal. I went over andtook a few glances out my window; we were up on the second floor, then stopped. What I was seeing made my stomach turn."

  Lindsay gave an empty sigh when she finished. Her normally cheerful expression had soured.

  "How did you end up going from Portland to up here in the Colorado mountains?" JT asked.

  "Probably as many crazy coincidences as brought you up here. Nothing worth going into. Unless you want to share more. I don't like thinking about it."

  No, he did not. The less she knew about the people he killed, the things he was responsible for, the better. He liked Lindsay. He was still deciding how much.

  "Nah. I don't feel like doom and gloom right now. I got a good buzz going."

  "What about your friend Hannah? Is she more than just your friend? Because I have to tell you, I don't see you two hooking up. She seems like no fun at all."

  What was Hannah to him now? Most days she looked at him with disgust or disappointment. The wall that went up after Albright, any time he thought they were making cracks in it she would retreat and fill them back in. He should stop kidding himself and move on. That was proving more difficult than he had planned. What chance they had was over. He even thought about her less. Now with some physical distance between them, maybe it could help.

  "She didn't always used to be so, I don't know..."

  "Stuck up?" Lindsay sneered.

  JT jumped her harshly. "Hey, she is still my friend."

  "Sorry," Lindsay replied in a timid voice. "Fucking hell, man."

  "I was going to say gung ho. Like 'I'm warrior bitch now, don't fuck with me.'"

  "I can't call her stuck up but you can call her a bitch?"

  "I meant it in a complementary way."

  They looked at each other then both started laughing. When the laughing fit was over, JT finished offthe drink in his hand.

  "You know, I'm not going to lie. I thought the zombie apocalypse would be kind of fun. I used to get into fights all the time, in High School, in College. I was a football player. I guess I was a cocky one too. I wasn't going to take shit from anyone and I never backed down. One guy, six guys, ten guys, it didn't matter. Even if they beat my ass, I would get right back up. When I couldn't be a football player anymore, I was a bouncer. Putting the hurt on people. Guess that's all I'm good at."

  "This isn't going to be a pity party is it?" Lindsay shifted in her chair. "Because I'm not looking to fix anybody. Way I look at it, I'm lucky to be alive, so I'm just going to have a good time while I can. If that makes me shallow, so what. Who the fuck is left to impress?"

  JT vehemently shook his head no. "I'm not going to lie, I don't know why I brought it up," JT opened up the last beer he had. "I don't feel that way anymore. Too much bad shit has happened. How long has it even been? Has Christmas come and gone? Is this a new year? Whatever, I'm not that guy with the killer instinct anymore. I'm not going to lie, I miss him sometimes."

  "Dude, I'm glad that's the last beer because you don't need anymore. You're heading into wastedville. It's a new world, you be who you want to be. We have all done things we wouldn't have done before to survive."

  "You are too cool, you know that?" JT pointed in Lindsay's general direction. He was feeling real good now. He didn't know what she was saying about stopping. He didn't want to stop now. He was just starting to feel it.

  "I met this crazy guy once. Called himself Jelly. Had a crazy idea. He told it to a friend of mine who passed it onto me. Maybe people infected and turned into zombies weren't reallydead. They were still in there," JT knocked on his head. "They were just being controlled, like puppets. By the virus. Trapped watching themselves fucking eating people alive. Wouldn't that make them cannibals? Fucking crazy. I can't get it out of my head now, when I see any of those zombie fuckers. I hesitate to kill them because of it. It can't be true but still..."

  JT lost where he was going with this, so he just took another drink.

  "That's a fucking chilling thought. I wish you hadn't shared with me. If you're concerned about zombies though, you can't be a bad guy. At least not all bad."

  Lindsay got up from her chair and sat down next to JT on the couch, close to him. Her leggings felt nice as they rubbed against his leg.

  "How about we change the subject? That's enough zombie talk for me." She had one arm around him now and leaned in. Her breath tickled his ear. "Enough talk all together."

  When he turned to face her, their mouths were only inches apart. It didn't take much of a move for him to kiss her. He got into it wholeheartedly. Her lips felt good. He devoured her like a man who had been without food for months. Then he pulled himself away.

  "Wow, that was good," Lindsay said, breathless. "Don't stop now."

  He couldn't help it. A picture of Hannah flashed through his mind. The memory of her heat against his body. How much he wanted to go all the way with her but she had always stopped him.

  "It's not her is it?" Lindsay asked as JT just sat there. "I'm not looking for any drama JT, I'm just looking for some fun."

  He didn't want to admit it to her, but that's exactly what it was. He had to accept Hannah was a closed book, anyway. Hannah had left him. Lindsay, she was right here.

  "Ok, let me help you make a decision," she said as she stood up and pulled the red dress over her head. She was naked now except for the leggings. A colorful tattoo covered her arm from shoulder to wrist. It weaved in and out in patterns, floral like in design. Blues, green and reds filled in spaces. JT was surprised with himself. She wasn't usually the type JT was interested in but Lindsay looked beautiful there in the warm glow of the fire.

  She stood there, a look of longing in her eyes. "Like what you see?"

  He pulled her back down on the couch.

  "Where did we leave off?" He asked as he kissed her again, this time even more intensely. JT wriggled, pushing off his shorts. The feeling of their now naked bodies intertwined was almost enough to push JT over the edge as he scooped Lindsay up and they moved to the floor in front of the fire where after two rounds of intense love making they passed out in each other's arms.

  Hannah looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair had never been so long, well past her shoulders. She had to sweep it all back into a ponytail when she wasn't wearing a hat to keep the front part out of her eyes. It was tangled and kind of dirty looking. She hadn't bathed in a couple of days. It was just too much hassle to get water out of the stream that ran through the town, carry it back, heat it up over a fire and so on. Besides, she wasn't trying to impress anyone, so what did it matter.

  That led her back to thoughts about JT. He rattled her more than she wanted to admit las
t night. She had spent most of the morning reflecting on all the good times they had. Joking around in the car during the countless hours on the road. Cuddling up during the long nights, feeling safe in his arms. How he had tried his best to protect her, to let her in.

  Maybe she could go over to his house and get him to sober up. For her. Then they could see if they could start over or if it was indeedtime to move on. She was done playing games. She was done feeling sorry for him or for herselffor that matter. She felt so much older now. It hadn't been but maybe eight months since the Outbreak, but she felt like she had grown about ten years older.

  "Closure." she told her mirrored self.

  She put her coat on and walked out, stocked full of determination. She walked the few blocks over to where JT was staying. She was about to knock on the door when it opened.

  "Oh, hey Hannah," Lindsay giggled. She bounced down the stairs, turned and waved goodbye at the bottom, then glided down the street over enthusiastically.

  Hannah immediately scowled. JT now stood in the open doorway, leaning against the frame. He wore the biggest smile she had seen him have since before the whole church thing.

  "You look to be in a good mood this morning," she commented, trying to sound much calmer than she felt.

  "Hannah," JT said, in a standoffish way. He was wearing a robe. Hannah didn't think she'd ever seen him in a robe before.

  "Is this a bad time, JT? Maybe I should come back."

  "Nah, I'm feeling great. Come on in?"

  She hesitated for a moment then walked in.

  "So you had Lindsay stay the night here with you?"

  As soon as she asked, she wished she hadn't. It came out sounding jealous. It must have sounded that way to JT too because he went off.

  "I've protected you to the best of my ability. Kept you safe. I even bled for you. You just kicked me in the dirt and gave me the cold shoulder routine when Albright showed up. Flashing that smile of his, preaching some shiny golden God bullshit in your ear. That seemed to get you to jump into bed with him real quick. You sure as hell seem to have caught his holier than thou attitude."

  Hannah inhaled sharply. She felt like someone had just punched her in the gut. For him to go there, just like that. The nerve. She was so mad and upset she could feel her tears start tofall despite attempting to hold them back.

  "Sorry. God dammit. I didn't mean that Hannah."

  "Fuck you JT, you aren't allowed to be a complete dick and then apologize like it makes it fucking okay!" Hannah said with her voice trembling. She willed herself to stop crying. She would not give him anymore satisfaction than she already had. When heading over here, a hesitant voice whispered to her it was a bad idea. She wished she'd listened to that voice. When she had second thoughts about something, when was she going to start listening? If she would, it would save her lots of grief.

  "You obviouslylook much happier with Lindsay. Not that you need my permission but go ahead andfuck her brains out. I'm sure most of the guys here already have. I must have been mistaken that you actuallycared about me. Not just getting in my pants, like some typical guy. I'm so tired of being used."

  She turned to leave. He grabbed her shoulder.

  "Hannah. I didn't mean it, honest. I just, I just got mad..."

  "I...I guess you can't change can you, JT? By the way, good job saving Ashley."

  She ripped JT's hand from her shoulder. JT stood there, like he had just died standing up, pale and silent. She felt like punching him in the gut but insteadshe walked off.

  She was able to keep her tears in on the way home. Her anger had taken over keeping her face blank, expressionless, until she got to her house. She ran to her bed and threw herself on it. Her sobbing was like that of a child. Her whole body convulsed. Then she screamed. It sounded so loud to her; she was surprised later that no one came running to check on her.

  A thought, sounding like her Dad's voice, told her to calm down. She pushed herself off the bed slowly. She walked out to the living room. Her stomach hurt, her chest still hitched, her eyes stung. Even still she followed the voice's advice.

  She stood in the open area between the couch and the television, taking deep breaths. That voice inside her urged her on. Be calm. Before he died, her Dad insisted she take some martial arts or self-defense classes. Before and after practice they always spent a few minutes in a meditative stance. She called on those skills now.

  The tears stopped. Her breathing slowed and her mind emptied. When she felt normal again, she went back to the bedroom, stripped and went to bed. She slept away the rest of the day and night. She awoke the next morning, feeling refreshed.

  Hannah spent the next few days feeling like she was floating. When the work on the school was done, they assigned her to the kitchen next. They were short handed they told her. She worked and talked to people. Yet, when she would arrive home at night, she couldn't remember a single thing that was said.

  As she drifted off each night, she thought about packing her things and leaving. Yet every morning she got dressed and went out to work. Hannah forgot about her suspicions about Roy. She didn't care what JT was up to. She had seen him by himself more often than not, mainly at dinner time. Sometimes he would sit with Gus then get up to sit by himself when he saw her looking for Gus and Linda to sit with. She lived in her own head for at least a week. She showed up one afternoon in the kitchens and was happy to see Gus there.

  "Well hello darlin'," he said, taking in his surroundings. "They've finally given me something to do. Watch out everyone, Chef Gus is here. I can make a scrumdiliumcious bowl of mac and cheese, don't you worry."

  Hannah smiled and nodded, then headed over to what she now considered her station.

  "Shit, I need to work on my routine," Gus said, more to himself.

  A long pause stretched out. "Hannah, you haven't visited Ms. Linda and I for a while. Is everything okay?"

  "Mmhmm"

  "Let's just say your reply didn't stir confidence in my heart. What's going on? Is it the fact we said we would never join another group, yet here we are?" Gus gestured wide with his hands.

  Hannah looked around. The lights were on as the electricity was allowed to the casino at all times. That thought made her think how she still hadn't seen this mysterious Henry.

  The two of them were the only ones in the kitchen for now. Still Hannah came over to Gus and whispered to him. It was like a cork popped off a geyser and she spouted out everything that was bothering her: JT, Roy, Dr. Childs, Lindsay.

  To Gus's credit he listened without interruption, not even with a bad dad joke. When she was done he pretended to wipe sweat off his brow. "Girl, you've given yourself a plate full of trouble."

  "Implying I've asked for it?" Hannah snapped back.

  Gus cocked an eyebrow.

  She didn't expect to feel even more frustrated after talking to him. "And?"

  "Isn't it wonderful that this place seems normal? No one has tried to kill us. Or control us. None of that Harold shit. For sure none of that Albright fuckery. It's a thing to be thankful for. As for JT, we told him how we feel, it's up to him to turn it around. I would bet money on it he will and quitefrankly if he won't well then screw him."

  She took in what Gus was saying. She mulled it over while working open some cans. Getting out the pots and pans. Mixing and stirring. Son of a bitch. He was probably right. She had spent so long wallowing in the darkness, she couldn't see the light right in front of her.

  "Gus, you might act like a clown but you sure know how to cut through my bullshit."

  "Age, wisdom, blah blah blah." Gus gave her a wink.

  Lance came in to join them and the three worked through the rest of the prep as the crowd of hungry people lined up out in the former restaurant. She saw JT and gave him a tentative smile as he passed through the line. He scowled back. She thought that was his choice; it didn't bother her. She also gave a smile to Lindsay as she went though. Lindsay smiled back and gave her a little wave. Roy wouldn't even loo
k her in the eye. She had done what she could, if there was anything going on, it wasn't her problem. She was feeling better, cleaner. She hadn't felt like this in a long time. She thanked God for it and for putting Gus in her path.

  After everyone left, she ate with Gus and Lance. After clean up, she was exhausted. Leaving, she was feeling lighter than a cloud. She was prepared for bed, feeling she would sleep good tonight.

  It was a shock when she passed through the casino's doors to find Josh pacing back and forth on the street in front. He was holding a large flashlight, its beam bouncing and bobbing.

  "Josh," she said, pleasant enough. "This is a surprise. You been waiting out here for me this entire time?"

  "No," he said, shining the beam up at her. She squinted and raised her hand. He smiled then looked away. He adjusted his glasses alongside of the lens with his free hand. "Yes. I just thought, after working together on the school, that it would be nice to see you again. It's been awhile. Maybe I could walk you home?"

  Hannah was struck by the altogether sweet gesture. She guessed he was crushing on her. She wasn't interested in him or anyone. It was time for her to be on her own. She wanted to make it crystal clear, so he wouldn't think she was leading him on.

  "All right. Just as friends though okay? I'm not looking for anything beyond that with anyone. I'm sure your are the nicest guy in this town. I'm just not looking for any romance or relationships. Clear?"

  In the dim light given off by his flashlight, she could see his body deflate, his face fall. It might hurt now but it was better this way.

  She came down the steps near him. "You know, I don't need an escort but I appreciate the offer."

  "I know," his smile brightening again. "You might be the bravest person I've ever met."

  "I don't know about that," Hannah said, on the verge of blushing.

  "Modest. I've heard some of the tales of the zombies you have faced from your friend Gus. I don't think I could have made it in your place."

  "Well, a tip for the future. Gus has a tendency to embellish, besides you're still here," Hannah said. "That means you survived situations just as bad I'm sure."