Breathless With Her: A Less Than Novel

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  I rolled my eyes and leaned forward to kiss the only spot on her face that didn’t have dirt on it.

  “You’re filthy, Amelia.”

  “So are you. But I love this job. I mean, look at all of this. It’s all growing and pretty and green and colorful. I can’t wait to start my next project, though. It’s probably going to break part of my body, most likely my back, but it’ll totally be worth it.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Is it too much for you? Do you need to hire more people?”

  Tobey muttered under his breath and winced. “Oh, bro, you stepped in it this time.”

  “Tobey is right, my dear brother. There’s a lot of fertilizer right here, but you’re the one that’s standing in manure.”

  “How long have you been waiting to make that type of shit joke?” I grinned.

  “Ha-ha. No, I don’t need to hire anyone else. I have three part-timers that come in when their schedules allow, and I can do everything else on my own. I have a strong back, and even though I joke about it, I’m just fine. I like my job. You do not need to come in here and growl at me and try to take over. Do you hear me, Devin Carr?”

  “Oh, you got full-named,” Zoey said as she walked into the back yard. “There’s my best friend.”

  “Can you believe him?” Amelia asked, gesturing towards me. “He gets all growly and thinks I can’t handle it. It’s like I haven’t built this business from the ground up. Yes, I’ve needed help on occasion and took it because my friends and family offered. But I’m the one who’s put sweat, blood, and tears into this. Literally.”

  Amelia raised her chin, and I sighed.

  “Don’t sic Zoey on me. I’m sorry, Amelia. I was just worried that you might need to hire new people because your business is growing so much.”

  “Sure. I’m sure that’s exactly what you meant. But I’m fine. I own my own business. I know what I’m doing.”

  “And because I don’t own my own business I can’t help out?” I asked, wondering why I felt a little hurt by that.

  Amelia rolled her eyes, and Zoey went to my side, elbowing me in the hip. “You know she didn’t mean it like that,” she said.

  “Maybe. But now I’m the one who’s feeling hurt.”

  “You are not. You have a steady job, a full pension, and you don’t have to worry about self-employment tax. Or business tax. Taxes period.”

  “Oh, I have to worry about taxes. Taxes literally pay for my job.”

  “True, so I guess you could say I’m your boss,” she said with a grin. Zoey and Tobey laughed outright.

  “Wow, that would be the end of the world right there, wouldn’t it?”

  “I’m about to throw dirt at you, dear brother. But I don’t want to waste it.”

  “You’re literally standing on a mound of it. I’m sure you can waste a little.”

  “But this is my perfect dirt. My precious soil with its beautiful pH balance. I love you, my babies.”

  She leaned down and patted the dirt pile. I met Zoey’s eyes, both of us pressing our lips together so we wouldn’t break out into laughter. Amelia was a character, all right. Oh, she probably didn’t always talk to her dirt like she was right now, but she liked to put on a show for me and the rest of the family. Mostly because she wanted to make sure everyone knew she was just fine.

  After all, it was only the four of us now. Well, five if you included Dimitri’s woman, Thea. My brother’s wife was pretty damn amazing, far better than his first wife, and that meant we were a tight unit. We didn’t have anyone else. We hadn’t had anyone else even when people were raising us—or what passed for that in our world.

  And so, Amelia needed to make sure that the world knew that she could survive on her own and prosper.

  I knew that. All of us did.

  I just wish there was a way to make sure Amelia knew that we knew. Because no matter what we told her, she didn’t quite seem to believe us. But I guess that’s what being a little sister meant.

  Always be on the lookout for the overprotective brother. And, hey, I happened to be a very good overprotective brother.

  “So, what are you doing here, Zoey?” Amelia asked after we’d gone back to work. Zoey stood off to the side, not getting her hands dirty. That was actually a little unusual since she was typically one of the first people outside of Amelia to throw herself into a dirt pile and help out. But considering that she was wearing a cute little floral dress and apron, I had a feeling she had meetings and didn’t want to get dirty. After all, this was the second time I saw her today. Though I really did not want her to mention exactly where I had seen her before.

  From the gleam in her eye, I had a feeling there would be no such luck.

  Oh, good.

  “Oh, I just wanted to come by and see you and gossip. But since the subject of my gossip is here…” she began.

  “That means you’re not going to talk about it, right?” I put in quickly.

  “Ooh, gossip about Devin?” Amelia asked. “One of my favorite kinds.”

  “At least, it’s not about me,” Tobey said, grinning. “I mean, sorry, Devin. But it’s time.”

  Amelia just laughed over at her best friend. I closed my eyes and groaned.

  “Oh, fine.”

  “Well, this is the second time I’ve seen Devin today,” Zoey began.

  “Ooh, really? Where did you see him before?”

  “At Erin’s. Picking up a cake.”

  “For your friends Greg and Laney, right?” Amelia asked.

  “Yep. Erin did a great job on the cake.”

  “And from the way Devin was looking at her, that wasn’t the only thing he wanted her to frost.” The two girls laughed, and I met Tobey’s gaze.

  “I don’t even know what that means. Shouldn’t I be the one frosting her?” I held up my hands. “No, I really do not want you to answer that question. Ever. Especially not in front of Amelia.”

  “Thank you. Thank you for not asking about frosting in front of me. Ever. And now I can never have a cupcake again. What have you done?” my sister asked Zoey. “I love cupcakes, and you’ve ruined them for me.”

  “Well, there are brownies and pies.”

  “No, pies remind me of that movie,” Tobey put in, and I snorted.

  “Yeah, I never did look at a warm apple pie the same way again,” I said with a grin as Tobey and I laughed, and the girls groaned.

  “You’re a horrible person. Horrible.” Amelia put her dirty hands on her hips and glared. “Whatever shall I do without baked goods?”

  “Don’t think of dick while you’re eating it?” Zoey asked, and I closed my eyes. “Please, can we move off this conversation? We can talk about anything else. Just not this.”

  “Well, how about we talk about the sparks flying between you and Erin? Because, wow.”

  “Shut up.”

  “I will not shut up, Devin. I saw the way you two were with each other.”

  “So, Erin… Jennifer’s sister? The one you let spend the night at your house?”

  “I didn’t realize it was her,” Zoey said quickly. “I mean, I heard the story from Amelia and a similar one from Erin, but I didn’t put two and two together because there were key details left out. Including mention of a sequined dress.”

  “It was her high school reunion,” I said. “It’s not like we went on a date or anything.” I didn’t know why I was so defensive, but I really hated talking about women with my little sister. And considering that I wasn’t sure Erin was even interested in me, or the status of her marriage at this point, I didn’t really want to go there.

  “Anyway, that dress was for the high school reunion,” Zoey began. “With that bastard Nicholas.”

  Amelia lifted her lip in a snarl, and Tobey raised his brows.

  “We don’t like Nicholas?” Tobey asked.

  “No, we do not,” Zoey said with a scowl. “He’s an asshole. A cheating asshole who did horrible things. But the divorce is final, and they are no longer together.”


  “Well, that was quick,” I said. I tried to sound casual, but from the looks that all three of them gave me, I knew I hadn’t been very proficient at that. Well.

  “Yes, she’s all single and ready to mingle,” Zoey said with a laugh. “Okay, maybe not ready to mingle, but she is single. And I’m going to text you her number so you can see if sparks are indeed flying.”

  “Don’t do that, Zoey,” I said quickly.

  “What? You don’t want her number?” Zoey asked, frowning.

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “Yay. Oh, you two will be so cute together,” Amelia said, hip-bumping Tobey.

  Tobey just gave me a sad smile. “I think you’re going to lose in this,” he said quietly. “There’s two of them against you.”

  “I thought you would be on my side. That way, we would be two against two.” I mock glared, and Tobey just shook his head.

  “I can’t really win against Amelia. Ever. We know this. We’ve been friends since we were little. She always wins.”

  “I really do,” Amelia said with a very smug smile.

  “Zoey, you shouldn’t meddle.” I tried to sound stern, but I couldn’t help but want the number. I really wanted it. Erin was single? Well, that changed everything. Didn’t it?

  “I’m just saying, she’s already slept over at your house. What’s a few conversations by text? Or dare I say maybe even a phone call?” Zoey put her hand on her chest over her heart, and Amelia mock-gasped.

  “A phone call? I mean, that’s next-level communication.” Amelia just grinned as she spoke.

  I sighed. “I can’t with you. Either of you. I should go anyway. I need to clean up before I head to Greg and Laney’s.”

  “Invite Erin,” Zoey said quickly. I froze.

  “You want me to invite Erin to my friend’s birthday party?”

  “Yes. She doesn’t have any plans tonight. I checked. And even though it would be weird to ask her any other time for a date the same night, this is different. You could always word it so it’s almost like work. You know, like her wanting to check on the cake or something.”

  “Oh, yes, make it all chemistry-like but add in the work so she doesn’t feel overwhelmed.” Amelia and Zoey began talking about ways for me to ask Erin out, and I quit listening. I just looked at Tobey and shook my head.

  “How does this happen?” I asked. “Please, Tobey. Tell me how this happens.”

  “One of them is a force to be reckoned with. Two of them? It’s the end of all your control. All of your power…gone.”

  Both women punched him in the arm, and he winced, laughing. “Hey,” Tobey growled out.

  “Hey, what?” Amelia asked, going nose-to-nose with him. Tobey just grinned and kissed her forehead before pulling back. “Nothing. You always win.”

  “Yes, I do.” Amelia’s words were a little whispery, and I couldn’t help but notice the blush on her cheeks. I met Zoey’s gaze, and we both looked away. I really did not want any part of that. So, I helped my sister for a little bit more, mostly because I didn’t want her to have to lift everything on her own. Tobey and I took care of that. And then I headed home. Erin’s number in my phone.

  I should have gotten it the night she stayed over, but I hadn’t. There hadn’t been any reason to. Because she had been married at the time. It didn’t matter that she had been breaking because of it. She had been married. And that was too much of a complication for me. I didn’t want any part of that, especially not with how my parents’ marriage had blown up the way it had.

  I looked down at my phone and wondered…

  Before I could stop myself, I did the craziest thing I could. I called. I didn’t text. I called.

  Like it was 1999, and I was using a cordless phone instead of a cell. I called.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, Erin, it’s Devin. Zoey gave me your number. But you don’t have to keep talking to me if you don’t want to.”

  “Oh. She said that she might do that as a joke, but I didn’t think she actually would.” Erin let out a soft, little laugh. The sound went straight to my balls.

  Well, fuck.

  “Is it okay that I called?”

  “Yeah, it’s nice. I just…is the cake okay?”

  I let out a soft laugh. Zoey and Amelia had been right. Talking about work was helpful.

  “The cake is fine. I dropped it off. I’m heading out to the party in a couple hours.” I cleared my throat. “Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to go with me.”

  There was silence. So much silence, I was afraid that I had made a mistake. I was really damn good at making them when it came to women—or anything for that matter.

  “To check on the cake?” Erin asked, her voice a little high.

  I could have lied. I could have said that it was just about the cake, about wanting her to check on her work. But I didn’t want to do that. It sounded like she’d been lied to enough. And I didn’t want to be that man.

  “No, but you could while we’re there. I just thought maybe you’d like to come with me. I know it’s short notice, and you probably have things to do. You don’t have to say yes. But if you want, I’d love to take you.”

  “Did Zoey put you up to this?” she asked quietly.

  “She mentioned it. I’m not going to lie. I don’t want to do that.”

  “I’m glad you don’t want to. Because that would be a deal-breaker for me. Okay? No lies.”

  “I can do that for you. I’ll be honest. So now I’m going to be really honest and say that I thought you looked hot in that dress that night. And really hot today with that flour on your cheek. And I wanted to ask you out, I just didn’t know if you were still married or not. So, now that I know that you’re not, if you’re ready to go out with someone, I hope it’ll be me. Tonight. If that’s what you want.”

  I shut my mouth, knowing if I kept going, I’d probably talk myself right out of a date.

  “I think that would be fun. And nothing too scary. Just a nice birthday party with friends. That you’ve known forever. Okay, maybe this is a little scary.”

  I laughed, shaking my head even though she couldn’t see me. “Greg and Laney will be good. And there’ll be tons of people that I don’t know, so it won’t be too much. It’s not like my entire family will be there or anything. Plus, you already know some of them.”

  “I do. And you know my family.”

  “I do.” I paused. “Is that going to be too much for you?”

  “No, I don’t think so. We’re not the people we used to be. I’m seriously not the person I used to be,” she said with a harsh laugh.

  “Erin—” I began, but she cut me off.

  “Let’s do it. Just…will you tell me what time and what I should wear?”

  The sense of relief flooding through me was a surprise, but I let out a breath and smiled.

  I was going on a date with Erin. The person I told myself I shouldn’t pursue when I last saw her.

  This was a good step. I couldn’t wait to see what would happen tonight.

  Chapter 5

  Erin

  I stared at my reflection in the mirror and wondered if I remembered how to do this. I mean, there had to be a conscious memory or something of how this was done.

  I swallowed hard and shook my head. No, I was pretty sure I would never actually remember. Because I hadn’t been on a first date since I was what? Fourteen? Or maybe even ten if I really put my mind to it. I had been with Nicholas for so long, the idea of dating made me want to throw up. Not because I still loved him. No, I didn’t think that was the case. It was hard to love something that wasn’t actually there to begin with.

  Somehow, Nicholas had fallen out of love with me. Had started to resent me so much that I was no longer the person he wanted to be with. It was hard to find that love deep inside when there was nothing to claw onto.

  No, I didn’t love Nicholas anymore. I was just learning how to love myself, frankly.

  But I wasn’t going to th
ink about that. Because this was not about Nicholas. This was about me. And Devin. And the fact that I was going on a date.

  Maybe a bit of an unconventional date. Because Devin had asked me out that afternoon, and here I was, getting ready tonight. For a group date. At a party for one of his friends. An event where I could say I was just checking up on the cake, on my work, rather than actually going on a date with Devin.

  But even though he had given me that excuse, that’s all it was. An excuse.

  I was going on a first date with Devin Carr, and I had butterflies.

  That flutter in the stomach that said that this was something new and exciting and different. It was thrilling and scary and made me want to throw up and yet dance at the same time.

  Well, maybe not exactly at the same time.

  Wasn’t that just a picture?

  I pulled my blond hair back from my face. I wondered if I should just wear it up and then let it fall down in its odd waves that did their own thing if I didn’t straighten the strands.

  I hadn’t wanted to wash it again since I had just done it that morning, so that meant dry shampoo, maybe a curl or two, and a prayer.

  I really wasn’t good at this dating thing. I think I was an actual virgin at it.

  That made me snort. I’d been married to Nicholas for far too long, and with him for even longer. There was nothing virginal about me. Other than the fact that I had only slept with one guy in my life.

  I let my hair fall and put my hands under my face.

  Was I going to sleep with Devin tonight? No, it wasn’t even a real date. It was almost a work outing. Okay, it wasn’t that. But there would be tons of his friends, people I didn’t know, all celebrating the fortieth birthday of a man I had made a cake for.

  There was no way that I was going to sleep with Devin Carr after that.

  Unless I wanted to.

  Unless he wanted to.

  Did he want to?

  I shook my head and let my hands fall from my face, then moved them around to my temples.

  I rubbed and tried to work out the worry, the brewing headache. Only I was a very good worrier and, sometimes, there was no working it out.