Craving Hawk

by Nicole Jacquelyn

  Rebel didn’t answer, just laid her head down on my shoulder and sighed.

  “She wasn’t happy we were leaving the house, but she calmed down about halfway here,” Molly said ruefully, setting Reb’s bag down at the foot of my bed.

  “Eh, it’s all good,” I assured her, rubbing Rebel’s back. “We’ll climb into bed and watch some Elmo for a while.”

  “Okay.” Molly glanced at Will. “We shouldn’t be gone very long, right?”

  “Couple hours, max,” Will replied with a nod. He looked at me. “You and Tommy, huh?”

  “Um,” I mumbled.

  “You have any idea what the fuck’s going on?”

  “Language, Will,” Molly chastised with a grimace.

  “I was there when the cops came today,” I said softly, rocking Rebel from side to side. “They said it had something to do with Mr. Phillips.”

  Will looked at me in confusion for a moment, then his expression cleared. “The teacher?”

  “Yeah. He went missing a couple years ago.”

  “I remember that,” Molly said in surprise.

  “Anyway,” I said. “That’s what they told Tommy it was about.”

  “What the fuck would Tommy have to do with any of that?” Will scoffed.

  “I don’t know,” I lied.

  “We’ll know more once we get to your parents’ house,” Molly said, putting her hand gently on Will’s back. “We should probably get over there.”

  “Yeah,” Will muttered. He turned and walked toward the door, then waited for Molly to come give Rebel a kiss and say goodbye before ushering her out of the apartment.

  “Just you and me, kiddo,” I said as I locked the door behind them. “Want to watch Elmo?”

  A silent nod gave me my answer.

  * * *

  An hour and a half later I woke up to knocking on my front door. Rebel had fallen asleep, which was a huge deal considering she didn’t have all of her sleeping stuff with her, and I’d fallen asleep shortly after. I’d been strung so tightly all day that by the time I’d gotten cozy with Reb, I’d been completely wiped.

  “Who is it?” I called quietly before I disengaged the lock.

  “Good answer,” Will’s deep voice called back through the door, making me smile.

  “Hey,” I whispered as I opened the door wide and let them inside. “She fell asleep.”

  “Seriously?” Molly asked, her eyes widening.

  “Yep. My bed is magic.”

  Will snorted as he passed me.

  “Everything okay?” I asked Molly as Will picked Rebel up and tucked her against his chest.

  “Yeah.” Molly glanced at Will then gave me an uncomfortable smile.

  Well wasn’t that some shit. I’d guessed Molly’s loyalty had shifted, but I hadn’t seen it in action until that moment.

  “Save your questions,” Will said as he grabbed Reb’s bag off my kitchen counter. “If I know my brother, he’s less than ten minutes behind us.”

  My heart thumped hard at that news and I smiled just a little.

  “Thanks again,” Molly said as she followed Will to the door.

  “No worries.”

  As I closed the door behind them, I took a deep breath. Then another. Then another. I reached up and locked the deadbolt, but I couldn’t force myself away from the door. I just stood there. Waiting.

  Chapter 8

  Tommy

  “How well did you know Mark Phillips?”

  “Was he your teacher?”

  “How often did you see Mr. Phillips?”

  “What can you tell me about the altercation you had with Mr. Phillips in the high school parking lot?”

  “Have you ever been to Mr. Phillips’ house?”

  “Have you ever been in Mr. Phillips’ car?”

  “Did you ever spend time with Mr. Phillips outside of school?”

  The questions had felt never-ending. I was pretty sure that had been the point. You keep someone long enough and they’ll answer you just to make you stop asking them the same thing over and over. Their answers will change to better fit your questions. They’ll give you what you’re looking for eventually.

  Unfortunately for those detectives, they’d been dealing with me and not some kid who’d break down and cry for his mama. I’d answered their questions and no matter how they’d phrased them, I hadn’t changed my answers.

  “How well did you know Mr. Phillips?”

  Not well. He was a teacher at my school.

  “Were you and Mr. Phillips friends?”

  No, he was a teacher. I just saw him around school.

  “Did the two of you talk often?”

  No, I didn’t have any classes with him.

  “Was he your teacher?”

  No.

  They’d tried to catch me in a lie, but they hadn’t been able to and eventually had to let me go.

  “Why the hell would they be askin’ you about that missin’ teacher?” my dad asked, leaning forward to brace his elbows on the table.

  “No idea,” I said, shaking my head. “I guess some kid thought they saw me fightin’ with him or somethin’ outside the school.”

  “Did you?”

  “Hell, I don’t remember. If I did it was probably about somethin’ stupid like getting all of Mick’s old essays from him.”

  “I asked you to get those,” my mom said, reaching out to squeeze my bicep. “Remember? I had you go into the school and get all of his stuff.”

  “Yeah, Ma,” I nodded, guilt for bringing her into it making me nauseous. I hadn’t remembered she’d asked me to pick up Micky’s stuff. I’d just remembered that it had been a pain in the ass. I hadn’t wanted to talk to anyone and I’d gotten stopped in the halls fifteen times by people who wanted to tell me how sorry they were. I hadn’t given a fuck how they felt.

  “So that teacher just up and disappeared?” my dad said, watching me closely.

  “The news said he just got in his car and drove away,” I replied, holding eye contact. “No one has seen him since.”

  Dad glanced at Mom, then took a deep breath. “Okay,” he said finally.

  I’d asked my dad to pick me up from the police station when they’d finally let me go, and by the time we’d gotten back to my parents’ house Will and Molly were already there waiting for us. Dad and Will were worried for good reason.

  Getting picked up for random bullshit was standard in our line of work, but getting picked up for something completely unrelated to the Aces was pretty rare, at least for the guys who hadn’t been evading warrants before they’d joined the club. On top of that, our lawyer had died the month before and we hadn’t found anyone to replace him yet. Letting anyone who wasn’t a member know our secrets—even the small secrets—was a gamble. We couldn’t just pick anyone, so at the moment I would be stuck with some fucked up court appointed attorney if I was charged with something.

  My dad’s hair was getting grayer by the day, and it sucked that on top of dealing with the Russians he was going to have to deal with my shit, too. Even if I kept him out of it, he’d still be in it. That’s how my family was. That’s how the Aces were. They had your back no matter what.

  “I’m gonna head out,” I said, leaning over to kiss my mom on her temple.

  “Didn’t bring your bike over,” my dad said, getting to his feet when I did.

  “I’ll take the Nova,” I replied, pulling my keys out of my pocket. “Haven’t taken her out in a while anyway.”

  Dad walked me to the door and pulled me into a hug before I could step outside. “You need me, I’m here. Alright?”

  “Yeah,” I answered, nodding. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Sleep in,” he called as I hopped down the front steps. “You’ve had a long day.”

  I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or not, but since he was technically one of my bosses, I decided I was going to take him up on the offer. I was headed straight to Heather’s apartment, and I had no idea what I’d find
when I got there. She’d either be at the door waiting to beat the hell out of me or fuck me blind, but either way I wouldn’t be sleeping any time soon.

  * * *

  Heather opened the door before I could even knock.

  “You couldn’t have called?” she hissed. “Seriously?”

  “Sugar,” I started, before she cut me off.

  “Don’t say ‘sugar’ in that tone,” she warned, walking away before spinning to face me again. “What the fuck, Tommy?”

  “I handled it,” I said, closing the door behind me and toeing off my boots. “It’s fine.”

  “It’s not fine!” she replied, her voice high and squeaky. “The cops picked you up! They were all, ‘Do you know Mark Phillips?’ and you were all, ‘The teacher?’ and they were all, ‘Come with us’ and then you were gone!”

  “Calm down,” I said quietly, walking toward her. “I took care of it.”

  “How? Seriously? Because I can’t figure out why they would even ask you about him? I mean, I can, but weren’t you careful?”

  “Quiet,” I ordered, pressing my hand over her mouth as I crowded her against the kitchen counter. I leaned down and spoke softly into her ear. “You know your neighbors? You know how thin these walls are?”

  She sucked in a harsh breath and then nodded her head, reaching up to pull my hand away from her mouth.

  “You’re okay?” she asked, pulling my head away so she could search my face. “Everything’s okay?”

  “It’s fine,” I said again, running my hand through her hair. “I’m just fuckin’ exhausted.”

  “I bet,” she murmured, leaning forward to press her head against my chest. “I was worried.”

  “Nothin’ to worry about,” I soothed, wrapping my arms around her. “I’ll take care of it.”

  I led her to the bed, shutting the lights off as we crossed the room, then stripped down and joined her underneath the blankets.

  “You were careful, right?” she whispered as soon as we were comfortable. “They won’t find anything?”

  “They got nothin’,” I murmured back, running my fingers down her spine. “It’s a cold case. They’ll give it up quick.”

  “And they won’t ever find him,” she said so softly that I barely heard her.

  “And they won’t ever find him,” I confirmed.

  “It still doesn’t matter,” she said as she kissed my chest, reminding me of the night before. I hadn’t confirmed anything, but she’d guessed, and she’d known for sure the minute the cops had picked me up earlier.

  The panic I expected to feel never came, but I lay there awake for a long time after she’d fallen asleep. If I’d learned one thing growing up on the Aces compound, it was the more people outside the club that knew your secrets the less likely they were to stay that way. I’d planned on taking my secrets to the grave, but I hadn’t counted on reconnecting with Heather, the only other person on the planet who would see the connection between me and Mark Phillips.

  She was the weak link. No matter how I looked at it, she was the only thing that could get me locked up. I could keep my shit together, no problem. I’d been dealing with cops and learning how to answer questions since I was old enough to talk. Heather wasn’t like that. She panicked. Worried. Was intimidated as fuck by the police.

  I ran it over and over in my head that night. How I’d keep her safe. How I’d calm her fears. How I’d keep the police away from her.

  Only one answer made any sense.

  I fell asleep with my brother’s face smiling at me behind my eyelids and I woke up twice, gasping for breath with the echo of Micky’s voice ringing in my ears. Thankfully, Heather slept right through it.

  * * *

  “Marry me,” I said the minute she opened her eyes the next morning.

  I was already up and dressed by the time she woke up and she looked at me in confusion for a long time before making a dismissive noise in her throat and stuffing her head back in the pillow.

  “Hear me out,” I said quietly, reaching out to rest my hand on her hip.

  “I don’t talk to crazy people this early in the morning,” she mumbled back.

  “As my wife, you’re protected,” I said, squeezing her hip. “The Aces watch out for you. Always. No matter what happens to me.”

  “I don’t need protection,” she replied, leaning up on one elbow. “What are you talking about?”

  “If for some reason I get locked up—”

  “You said everything was fine,” she hissed, sitting up. “You told me last night that—”

  “Heather!” I interrupted roughly, making her freeze. “Once we’re married, you can’t testify.”

  “What?”

  “If we’re married, they can’t make you testify.”

  “I don’t know anything,” she said quickly, her eyes widening. “Why would they ask me anything? I don’t know anything.”

  I leaned forward and kissed her, smoothing my hands up and down her arms until I felt the tension in her body fall away.

  “You know enough,” I whispered, pulling back to meet her eyes. “You know about Mick. Only a matter of time until they find that connection—if they haven’t already.”

  “You think they’ll come to me? Wouldn’t they go to your parents first?”

  “Even if they do, my parents don’t know anything,” I said, swallowing hard. “I was hopin’ they’d never know.”

  “But your dad could help,” she argued. “The Aces, they could help, right?”

  “Maybe,” I conceded. “But it might never come to that.”

  “But if you think that, then why all this marriage stuff?” she asked shaking her head.

  “Sugar, they saw you with me yesterday,” I reminded her, pushing her hair out of her face. “Probably know who you are by now. They start askin’ around they’ll know you were best friends with Mick. They start lookin’ into Mick? Bingo.”

  “But married?” she asked, searching my face. “That’s crazy.”

  “Was up half the night thinkin’ about it,” I said, sighing. “Can’t think of any other way to keep you outta it.”

  “But they might not even talk to me,” she protested. “You’re making plans for something that might not ever happen.”

  Her phone rang and she reached for it, glancing at it before setting it back down. “Don’t know the number, they can leave a message,” she said dismissively.

  “They start interrogating you and afterward we run off to get married, it’d look even worse,” I said, glancing at her phone as it beeped with a voicemail notification. “We can get divorced later,” I murmured. “If we can’t stand each other, we can get it annulled or something.”

  “This is not how I imagined my first wedding proposal,” she muttered, looking away.

  I cringed.

  “I’m going to have a cup of coffee and take a shower,” she said with a sigh. “We’ll talk more when I’m fully functional.”

  She climbed off the bed and shuffled to the kitchen while I lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. I felt like an asshole. She was nineteen. She didn’t want to get fucking married. Hell, I didn’t want to get married. I’d figured I’d have years before I found someone I wanted to make a family with, and when I did I’d do the whole proposal on one knee thing. It sounded like bullshit, but I knew that if I found the right woman, I’d want her to have a story she could tell her girls about. A story she could be proud of. Heather wasn’t getting any of that.

  She made a noise in the kitchen that had me shooting off the bed, and when I turned to face her she was white as a ghost.

  “That was Detective Robertson,” she said shakily, waving her phone in front of her. “He left a message asking me to call him back.”

  My hands grew clammy as I waited for her to say something else.

  “Give me forty-five minutes,” she said finally, setting her phone carefully on the counter. “Then we’ll go get our marriage license.”

  She didn’t look
at me as she walked to the bathroom and closed the door quietly behind her. As soon as I heard the shower go on, I pulled out my phone and checked what the marriage laws were in Oregon.

  Then I called my brother.

  * * *

  “That was easy,” Heather commented as we climbed into the Nova a couple hours later. “You don’t even have to do blood tests or anything.”

  “The next part is the hard part,” I mumbled, turning the key.

  We’d picked up our paperwork at the county clerk’s office and the next step in our plan was to go tell my parents we were getting married. I’d suggested going to Heather’s parents first to use them as a practice run, but she’d nixed that idea. Apparently they weren’t very close so she was just going to call them instead.

  “Do you think your dad’s eyes will shoot lasers?” she joked wanly as she leaned her head back. “Because if you think he has lasers, I should probably just stay in the car.”

  “It’ll be fine,” I lied, tapping my fingers on the steering wheel. “My mom will keep him calm.”

  “Oh, God. I didn’t even think about your mom,” she grumbled.

  “She’ll be happy. She’ll think you’re pregnant—but she’ll be cool.”

  “That’s some fast work,” Heather joked, looking pointedly at my junk.

  “Just let me do the talking,” I said firmly, reaching over to put my hand on her thigh. “It’s nobody’s business but ours. They can either be excited or not, it makes no difference.”

  “Maybe if we just told them—”

  “No,” I cut her off, squeezing her leg. “We want to get married. That’s all they need to know.”

  “No one is going to believe it,” she said nervously. “They’ll think we’re idiots.”

  “Why wouldn’t they believe it?” I asked, giving her a small smile. “I’m clearly crazy about you.”

  “Of course you are,” she said easily. “But that doesn’t mean you’d ask me to marry you.”

  “I did ask you.”

  “Not because you’re in love with me,” she mumbled, turning her head to stare out the window.

  Something in her tone made my chest tighten, and I jerked the wheel at the first driveway we came to, putting the Nova quickly into park.