"Walter, why did it take you so long to do this? You said you're afraid of losing me. How?"
For the first time, the man she dated and married held her and loved her, showing the beauty between a man and woman.
With his arms wrapped around her, she lay naked on his chest, listening to his heart beat.
"When I married Natalie, I was so in love with her. We had been married three months when she realized she was pregnant, and we were so excited. Right up to the day the twins were born.
After, thirty hours of labor, Timothy arrived. The doctor was shocked when he saw there was not one, but two babies. Todd took another twenty minutes and by that time, she began to hemorrhage blood."
In the darkness, she could discern the fright in his voice, and she understood, Walter feared losing another wife in childbirth. He didn't want to risk having more children, and she couldn't live with the possibility of never having a baby of her own.
He paused and took a deep breath. "The doctor did everything to stop the bleeding and nothing worked. While I held her in my arms, she told me to love and raise our sons, and then she closed her eyes and left me forever.
“The woman I loved died, leaving me with two crying babies I didn't know how to care for. Right then, I swore no more. That even if I remarried, there would never be any more children. So I could never sleep with my wife and get her pregnant."
Fannie tensed in his arms, knowing he didn't want to expand their family. "Women have babies every day and not all die of childbirth. Yes, having twins, must have been a difficult birth, but the odds of that happening a second time are slim."
As much as she enjoyed being a wild child, she still wanted babies of her own. As much as she loved his sons, she wanted to add more children to their family. Walking across the street was a risk, and you learned to accept that any day you might die.
Walter kissed her on top of her head. "Yes, but don't you see how afraid I am of you being with child. If something happened to you, I'd be the cause of your death. Tonight was an exception. I'm going to do everything possible to keep you from getting pregnant."
Why couldn't he accept she would not die. And why didn't he tell her his feelings before they married. His reasoning left her angry.
"But I want children with you, Walter. Why didn't you tell me any of this before we married? Because, you knew your reluctance would cause me not to marry you."
"Yes, and I was being totally selfish. You're so good with my boys, and they need you as much as I do."
Admitting his wrong doing was great, but that still didn't take into account her feelings regarding their family. In fact, he just made her into his married nanny.
"Oh, that makes me feel so much better, but what about my wants and dreams as well," she said with sarcasm dripping from her voice. "You waited until we had been married for over a month before we had sex and you didn't tell me why? That hurts me so much, Walter.
“Only now are you telling me you don't want any more children. Well, I want a couple of babies. Not necessarily a huge family, but at least two to three. This should have been discussed before we rushed into marriage."
She felt him tense and knew he didn't like her response. Well, too bad, he was the one who insisted they marry right away instead of waiting several months.
"No, I couldn't," he said, whispering.
"So, you believe I should give up my dreams and desires when I married you?"
Lying beside one another in bed, she could almost hear the wheels in his mind turning as he tried to come up with a reasonable response that didn't make him out to be complete idiot.
Trailing her fingernail down his chest, to his manhood, she wrapped her hands around him and begin to squeeze him the way the prostitutes showed her.
"We may be married, but I'm not going to give up what I want. And if you think we're not going to do what we just did again, very soon, you're wrong. When or if I get pregnant, our baby will be welcomed into this world. If not, tell me to stop and you'll never see me again."
With a groan, Walter flipped her onto her back. "How can I deny you anything when you've got me in your grip."
Chapter Thirty
Much later, they finally emerged from the room and when they descended the stairs, Savanah was waiting for them at the bottom.
"Walter, I see you found your wife," she said.
How did he respond. "Savanah, over the years, you've helped me in so many ways. Thank you for taking my wife in and showing me how wrong I've been."
She smiled. "You're welcome. I'm sure this means you won't be needing my service any longer."
Fannie laughed. "Honey, I'll let you answer that."
In no uncertain terms, he knew what to expect from Fannie if she found him anywhere near the brothel again.
"No," he said. "Fannie threatened me with bodily harm."
"As she should," Savanah said as she glanced at Fannie. "Remember if you need any marital advice, I'm here. Or if you ever need a job."
Walter jerked and glared at his wife. Yes, she was a wild woman, but she wouldn't dare consider going to work for a brothel. His wife would never work in such an establishment.
"Thank you, Savanah, but I think my husband is well on the way to being able to be a good man to me."
Fannie turned and smiled at Walter in a way that told him don't exclude me from your life again. And looking back, he realized he had been in the wrong not to discuss his misgivings before they married. Now, he didn't know what to do.
Risk losing Fannie or somehow withdraw to the safe area where they would never have children.
"Goodbye," they called as they walked out the door.
"What did she mean, if you need a job?"
A grin spread across her face as she placed her arm in his. "When you weren't sleeping with me, I assumed you thought I was too ugly. And she reassured me I could make a fine living being one of her girls."
Fear cascaded through Walter. Tonight they mended so much in their marriage, and yet they still had a ways to go. "Please tell me you told her no."
"Of course," she said as they strolled arm in arm toward their home.
"Promise me you are going to be home earlier," she said.
That would be a fairly easy commitment to keep. Though he still refused to have sex with Fannie often. There was still the problem of her getting pregnant. He had grown weak and succumbed this time, but hopefully they dodged a bullet. Now, he would make certain it would be awhile before they enjoyed each other again.
In the meantime, he would do everything he could to limit their sexual encounters.
"It's a promise. If I'm going to be late, I will send you a message, but I should be home earlier now that I'm not trying to avoid my wife any longer."
While it wasn't a complete lie, it wasn't the complete truth either. Somehow he needed to find a way to stop Fannie from getting pregnant.
She glanced up at him as they walked beneath the street lights. "I wish you would have told me earlier about Natalie. Don't keep secrets like that from me again."
With a quick squeeze of her hand. "What time do we need to pick the boys up in the morning?"
"Early, but not real early."
"Good, we've got time," he said, wanting to experience his wife's arms once more before he tried his best to avoid her again. As much as he desired and wanted her, he really didn't want more little hellions running around the house.
Chapter Thirty-One
A week later, things were better with Fannie, but Walter struggled. He wanted to move his wife into his bedroom but knew that would be a terrible mistake as he would be in her arms every night. And the consequences as she liked to say to the boys would be her expecting a baby.
While part of him understood her need for children, the thought of having to raise another small child, or heaven forbid, twins, was something he couldn't do again. And his twins were just now old enough he enjoyed doing things with them. With Fannie's guidance, they behaved like nice young boys.<
br />
Timothy was still a little rambunctious, but Todd hung back now and seemed to make up his own mind before he acted.
Fannie insisted that one afternoon each week, he spend time with the boys. Today they rode out to the mine together where he planned on showing them how the business operated. Later, he would take them into town for dinner, giving Fannie the evening to herself.
Though he would rather have been curled around his wife in bed, but that couldn't happen. No.
As the wagon pulled up in front of the mountain, he saw the miners going in and out hauling the silver and coal.
"Papa, is this your mine?" Timothy asked.
"Yes, son, it is."
"Are we going down inside?"
"No," he said. Too many dangers to expose his sons within the mine. The dust, the possibility of a cave-in, so many things that young children didn't need to be around. But he also loved that Timothy was inquisitive about the workings, and he didn't want to curb his enthusiasm.
When the horse came to a stop, he tied off the reins and then jumped down. After he helped the boys out, his foreman walked up to him.
"Mr. Hersey, I need to speak to you. There's a new vein of silver we've discovered, and I'd like to show you."
Walter glanced down at his sons. They had been wanting to go down and see where the miners worked. "How's the dust down there?"
"Where I'm taking you, pretty thick, but they could wait in the main area."
In the past, he would never have taken the chance, but the boys had done better. Long as they stayed where he instructed them, they would be fine.
"All right," he said.
He knelt beside his sons. "I'm going to let you go down into the main room of the mine, but you will do everything I say. If you disobey, you will be punished, do you understand? This is a dangerous place and if you wander off, you'll get lost. So stay right here, waiting patiently."
"Yes, Papa," they both said.
The foreman brought each a cap with a leather bill and a small portable acetylene gas lamp on both sides of the hat. As they descended in a cage raised and lowered by a pulley, the darkness had Todd searching for his hand. The child's hand trembled inside his, and he gripped it tightly. This might be a bad idea. A trickle of unease spiraled down his spine, and he realized he should have left them up top.
When they reached the dirt floor, lights glowed in the eerie darkness and the men had a second pulley for hauling the silver or coal up in a basket. Tunnels ran off the sides of the largest one with wooden beams holding the walls up to keep them from collapsing. Water dripped in places, leaving puddles on the floor.
"Papa, is that silver?" Todd asked, pointing to a bucket about to ascend. "Yes, son, it is."
"What else do they mine for down here?" Timothy asked, his eyes watching everything going on around him.
"Sir, we need to get going," his foreman said.
Walter didn't feel comfortable going off and leaving his sons, but didn't know what else to do.
"I'll be back in just a few moments. You stay right here. Do not move from this spot. If you go off in one of these tunnels, we may never find you again. Don't move."
The men that worked in this area had their hands full dumping loads of silver to be hauled to the top. No way, could he ask them to watch his sons.
Turning, he walked away, but glanced at the foreman. "Let's hurry. They become easily distracted."
Thirty minutes later, when Walter returned, the boys were nowhere to be seen.
For a moment, his knees almost buckled as his heart slammed inside his chest. Cursing beneath his breath, he began to run from one tunnel to another screaming their names.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Five hours later, his men combed the mine, searching for the boys. Many of them had families of their own, and they strung ropes through the tunnels, so they wouldn't get lost.
"Mr. Hersey, we've gone through the first three tunnels. Is it possible they went up the shaft and are waiting for you outside?"
He thought about Timothy’s obsession with seeing how the business worked and didn't think they would leave without him. Todd would probably run after his brother telling him to stop. In some of the tunnels, deep pools of water filled the caverns, and he prayed they hadn't fallen in one of those and drowned.
"No, Timothy was too interested in learning about how a mine operates. Is there any machinery anywhere working that might have fascinated them?"
"I'll check," the man said.
At seven hours, he sent one of the men to tell Fannie, knowing she would be worried sick. In less than an hour, he returned and said his wife waited on top. In some ways, this was all her fault.
All the pressure she put on him to spend more time with the twins. To take them to the mine and let them see the business he ran. The way she encouraged their curiosity.
When this was over, not only would he set her straight, but the two boys would not be able to sit for a week. If they came out alive.
They had a rudimentary map and as the search teams returned, Walter marked off which tunnels had been searched. The miners looked haggard after working all day and now spending all these hours searching. He knew he should let the workers go home to their families and rest.
And yet, his heart was breaking. How could he lose his sons?
His foreman came up and wiped his face. "The lanterns are all starting to dim. Time to refill them. The men are exhausted."
"You're right," Walter said, his chest aching as he glanced at his watch. "At midnight, we'll call it a night and hope they are still alive in the morning."
"I'm sorry, sir," he said.
Grief filled him, and he had to take deep breaths to quell the anger and frustration from overwhelming him. First, he lost his first wife and now their twins. All because Fannie insisted he take his boys with him once a week.
With a sigh, he began to roll up the map with the markings and the workers begin to leave. As they passed him, they didn't look at him as they quietly left. One team still searched, and then they would all leave for the night.
In the distance, he heard the last group of men walking toward them.
"Papa," the boys shouted and his heart leapt into his throat as he saw his sons.
Two men carried the boys, a big smile on their faces. Walter's heart soared with relief, and he ran to his sons.
"Timothy, Todd," he cried as the miners set them down, and he wrapped his arms around them, his throat choking with tears.
"Papa, we went to find you and got lost," Timothy said.
Todd's face had tear stains streaking through the dust. "It's dark back there, Papa."
As he hugged his boys to his chest, he couldn't say anything. His voice clogged with emotion.
"Papa. You were right. We should have stayed here," Timothy said, a tear running down his face. "I thought we were going to die."
Walter's chest ached, and he squeezed his sons even tighter. "Did you thank these good men for finding you?"
Trying not to completely break down, he swallowed his fear, his tears, and held his boys tight. They were his boys, his ties to his first wife, and he loved them so very much. Today had been a reawakening of his love.
A show of how even though they could be the orneriest kids in town, he still loved them with all his heart.
"No," Todd said, and then he glanced up at them. "Thank you."
The men smiled and nodded and then walked away, headed toward their own families.
"Can we go home? I'm tired," Todd said. "And I want Fannie."
Walter sighed thinking never again would he listen to his wife about his children. These weren't her sons, and she was only their stepmother, their nanny.
"She's waiting outside. You've been lost a long time," he told them.
Glancing at his foreman. "Thank you. Pay everyone overtime and let them leave a couple of hours early tomorrow."
The man nodded. "Get some rest, Mr. Hersey."
As they loaded up in the cr
ane, he watched as the workers pulled them up out of the deep shaft. "Boys, I don't think you're coming back into the mine until you're an adult."
"It's scary," Todd said.
When they reached the top, Fannie stood waiting for them. "Oh my," she said as she wrapped her arms around the twins. "I've been so worried about all of you."
Todd clung to her. "Fannie, I was so scared. All I could think about was that book you read to us, Tom Sawyer. I tried to be brave, like him."
"Our lights went out," Timothy said. "We couldn't find our way back."
Walter stared at her and an anger he'd never felt consumed him like a swarm of buzzing bees. This was her fault. Fannie insisted he take the boys with him this evening. This would not have happened if they stayed home with their stepmother. She should be taking care of them. That was her responsibility.
Standing, she came over to him and touched his arm. It was all he could do to keep from repelling her hand. "Are you all right?"
"No, for the last eight hours, I believed my sons were dead."
She rubbed her hand on him, trying to give comfort, when all he wanted to do was scream at her. "Come on, let's go."
Chapter Thirty-Three
As soon as they arrived home, Fannie took the boys up to their room and prepared them for bed. Both were completely exhausted and when she went to tuck them in, Todd reached up and hugged her neck. "Thank you, Momma."
Her heart melted at his words, and she squeezed him back. "You're welcome, son. Now try to get some rest."
"Do I have to go back to that mine?" he asked.
"No, son, not if you don't want to go."
Todd sighed and rolled over. "I didn't like it down there."
"Goodnight, Todd," she whispered, knowing he was the more fragile of the two children. And yet, he touched her heart in ways that made her love him even more. She hoped when he became a man, he would still be the kindhearted soul he was now.
When she reached Timothy, he lay there looking at the ceiling. "Papa told us not to move. I got tired of waiting and went in search of him, and then we got lost."
The Debutante's Gamble: Western Historical Romance (Debutante's of Durango Book 5) Page 10