He laughed, turning to Kendall. “Please don’t tell me he’s this formal all of the time.”
She drained the rest of her glass. “Mr. Davenport is very professional.”
I’d intended to set some boundaries tonight and had completely overshot. It occurred to me that we could’ve had a complete conversation about my expectations for the evening yesterday or even today if I hadn’t been so intent on avoiding it. I hadn’t brought it up because I’d been so uncomfortable with the blurring of personal and professional lines. So I’d simply pretended the whole problem didn’t exist. Which obviously hadn’t been the right choice.
Stephen shrugged. “I suppose it’s a good thing Liam is professional. But you know, all work and no play is just no fun.”
I managed a tight smile. “I’ll be sure to remember that.”
He chuckled. “Yes, well, I suppose fun shouldn’t be what I rely on to get me through the next few months of litigation. Tell me, Kendall, is your boss as good as they say he is?”
She gave him a smile not reflected in her eyes. “You’re in good hands, Mr. Walsh. There’s nothing more important to him than his job or his clients.”
A month ago, I would’ve taken her words for a compliment. But now I knew better. It was a bitter pill to swallow knowing she was right. I certainly hadn’t prioritized her feelings but had instead treated her as if her invitation to this event had upset me.
“You must call me Stephen. Now then, let’s get you a fresh glass of champagne. And go have you meet John Klein, the creator of the study you’d read about.”
His hand was on her bare back, and he was leading her through the crowd before I could say another word. The jealousy hit me hard and unexpectedly. I had to tamp down on the urge to pull her back to me. To do what? Insist she stay with me? Make sure Stephen knew she was off-limits? What the hell was happening to me?
Unfortunately, all I could do over the next hour was watch for any signal she was uncomfortable and try not to appear like I was stalking her.
Chapter Forty-Three
Kendall
Stephen was charming and nothing but a gentleman. A strange guy with a number of quirks, but in all, he seemed harmless as I learned more about him over the next hour. Considering he was giving me more attention and compliments than my date—who wasn’t actually my date but my lover, oh, and also my boss—I was hard pressed to leave his company for Liam’s.
“Tell me, how do you like working for the law firm?” he asked while handing me a fresh glass of champagne.
“I enjoy it.”
He chuckled. “I don’t entirely believe you. But the moment you want to search for other employment, I’d have a place for you.”
My spidey sense told me this could get awkward. “Doing what, exactly?”
He smiled. “I don’t know you, Kendall, but something tells me you wouldn’t leave for another assistant job. As you said in that conference room, your passion is food. And I own a number of restaurants around the city. So you tell me.”
“I’m not sure.” My indecisive answer was like a broken record. One even I’d tired of. I knew what I wanted, but it seemed I was afraid to announce it to the world. Plus this man was a client. Surely, I couldn’t confess that I’d quit in a heartbeat if I could do what I loved and still make enough money to help support my nan.
“Relax, my dear. I can assure you this is a legitimate offer. You’re a stunning girl but not my type.”
He motioned over my shoulder toward my boss, who wasn’t doing a very good job of looking as though he wasn’t watching us. “Liam is much more my type, to be honest. Although I doubt he’d appreciate knowing it. Anyhow, I’m serious about the job offer. Keep it in mind.” He pulled a card out of his pocket and handed it over discreetly. “This has my cell phone on it as well as my personal email address. I like to hire people who are passionate and aren’t defined by their title or content to be treated as less than others because of it. Hell, if I had been content with settling, I never would’ve gone from working as a janitor while taking college courses to where I am today. Some may think I’m strange, but I have an innate ability to read people. You, my dear, deserve good things. You deserve to follow your dreams. Don’t ever settle for less.”
I had to keep myself from tearing up. His words resonated so very much. It was as if he could see I wasn’t following my true desires. That I was settling. Not only with my job, but also with my non-boyfriend. I tucked his card into my clutch so very impressed with how he’d gone from being a janitor to achieving his dreams. “Thank you. I’ll keep your words in mind.”
Liam came up fifteen minutes later, glancing between the two of us with a strained smile. “You ready to take our seats for dinner?”
“Yes.”
“What did you talk to Stephen about?” he asked once we’d put some distance between us and our new client.
“He introduced me to John Klein. We had a great conversation about the study he’d done.” And we had. Stephen had treated me as if it was normal to introduce me to any of the famous people attending. He hadn’t acted like I was nothing more than an assistant or a secret lover, not worthy of meeting anyone.
Shit. I was being unfair. I found myself having to tamp down on my kernel of resentment. This wasn’t the place. And I’d signed up for exactly the way Liam was treating me. I’d known it going in, but the question now, of course, was if it was enough for me.
Shortly after dinner, Liam asked if I was ready to leave. Considering it was after ten, and I’d had enough of socializing, I was happy to depart. We said our goodbyes and stepped out into the chilly evening.
I pulled out my phone with the intent of calling our driver, but Liam surprised me. “I sent the driver home. I figured we could take an Uber instead.” He took out his phone. “The car should be here in two minutes.”
“Really? Why?”
“Because I want to take you back to my place without one of the regular firm drivers knowing where we’re going.”
That stung. “I thought the driver was taking us back to the office. Isn’t your car there?”
He was studying my face. “No. I took a taxi in today. I thought we’d leave from here to my place. Unless you’d rather not come over?”
“No. I want to.” As I admitted to him, and also to myself, that I wanted him despite my warring emotions, I realized I had to let the rest go. He’d been very clear about what it was he wanted, which didn’t include a relationship. Either I was on board or I wasn’t.
Judging by my choice to go over to his place, I’d made up my mind.
The moment we arrived at his house, and he ushered me in, he was on me. “You in this dress drove me crazy all night.”
He’d certainly hidden it well. “It did?”
“Yes. You look stunning. Obviously, Stephen thought so, too, since he monopolized you for most of the night.”
He was kissing down my neck now while my hands helped him shed his jacket. “Mm, Stephen doesn’t swing my way.”
He pulled back, his brow arched. “Huh. Really?”
“Yeah. He sort of offered me a job, and I must’ve looked like it creeped me out because then he confided I wasn’t his type. That you, in fact, were more his type.”
Liam chuckled. “Thank God.”
Not the words I’d expected him to say. “You’re happy you’re Stephen’s type?”
“No. I’m happy you are not.”
He carefully unzipped my dress and let it pool to the floor. I could feel myself aching for his touch, expecting him to hurry it along. But he didn’t. Instead he peppered kisses from behind me on my shoulders, trailing his tongue up along the base of my neck. Oh, Jesus. This slow, sweet seduction was doing things to my emotions. It would be easier to keep thinking of this as a non-relationship if he bent me over his desk instead of making love with so much intimacy.
Turning around, I met his lips in a scorching kiss, hoping to speed things along, but he wasn’t having it.
&nbs
p; “I don’t think so. I plan on savoring you.”
An hour later, I was completely sedated from his lovemaking, having lost count of the number of orgasms he’d given me. His hand trailed down my back while I lay curled up in his embrace.
“Did Stephen really offer you a job?”
“He did.”
“He needs an assistant?”
My body instantly tensed. “Actually, he knows I wouldn’t leave for another assistant job.”
“Then, what would he offer?”
I sat up, looking down at him in the moonlight. “Are you implying I wouldn’t be considered for anything other than a secretarial position?”
“No, of course not. I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to make it sound that way.”
His apology rang true, but it also triggered what was bothering me the most. Unable to help myself, I pushed, despite knowing that doing so would have consequences. “What do you think about us going out for breakfast tomorrow since we’ll be up at a decent time?”
Now it was his turn to tense. “It’s not a good idea. A lot of attorneys from the office live down here in South Bay.”
My emotions were starting to get the better of me. “So what? It’s not like there’s a rule against us dating in the office.”
“No, but I can’t have people in the office finding out about our arrangement.”
Arrangement. Why did that word seem so dirty? So clinical. “Right. Then, I should probably go home now.” I climbed out of bed, trying not to tie his words to my self-worth. I’d never been ashamed of being an assistant, buying my clothes secondhand, or having to work hard for a living. I wasn’t about to feel diminished now. It was clear this non-relationship was no longer working for me.
“What are you talking about? Stay until tomorrow. I can order breakfast in. Anything you want.”
I found my panties first and then my dress in a pool at the bottom of the bed. Luckily, my phone was in my clutch, fully charged. “No, thanks. I need to go.” Before I started crying.
I hated to head home at this hour, but flight was the only way I could think of dealing with this situation. After pulling on my dress, I typed in my Uber app, wishing instead of UberX, there was UberShame. It would be a car with tinted windows, extra panties, vodka to dull the pain, chocolate, and some tissues. Oh, along with a very sweet and understanding driver who would listen to my troubles and mutter words like, “he’s a bastard,” the entire ride home.
“What is happening with you? What am I missing?” Liam was out of the bed, pulling on his boxers and running a hand over his face.
“I don’t know. I just need to get home.” Because the tears had already started.
“Wait. What is this about?” He’d closed the gap between us and put his fingers under my chin. Urging me to look at him.
“I can’t do this.” It came out as a whisper.
“Can’t do what?”
My Uber driver was ten minutes out. I turned, walking down the stairs in search of my shoes. I only stopped at the large entry mirror where I tried to do something with my hair that didn’t scream I’d been fucked senseless.
He followed me down. “Kendall, talk to me. Please.”
He deserved an explanation, even if it wasn’t fully baked. “I want more.”
“More what?”
“Thursday was Valentine’s Day.”
Both his brows went sky high. “You’re upset tonight because I didn’t do anything for you on Valentine’s Day?”
“Yes. No. I mean it’s more than that. It’s the fact you don’t want to get breakfast, dinner, or walk on the beach together.”
If I was truly being honest, my strained emotions involved more than my settling for a non-relationship with him. It was about me settling, period. I had dreams, but I wasn’t close to pursuing them. Instead, I’d been content to simply go along with life instead of getting what I wanted out of it. Our non-relationship was an example of a bigger problem.
He raked a hand through his short hair. “This isn’t a relationship. We agreed on it.”
His tone implied I was the one changing the rules. He wasn’t wrong. “I know we did. But I also said I’d tell you if it became too much.”
“It’s too much because I missed a Hallmark holiday?”
Leave it to him to miss the point. Then again, I hadn’t given him a lot to go on. “It’s my birthday next month. It’s my nan’s birthday in April, and we’re throwing her a party. I knew what this was, but I realize it’s not enough for me any longer.”
“You want a boyfriend?” He said the B-word like it was dirty.
“Yes. And I can tell by your tone that’s not what you want.”
“We work together.”
Of course, he would be most worried about how this would affect him at work. If I’d ever doubted his priorities, this slammed it home. “I know. And don’t worry. It’ll remain professional.” I reached up to kiss his cheek. “Goodbye, Liam.”
Chapter Forty-Four
Liam
My feet were rooted to the spot. I was completely at a loss how Kendall and I had gone from entangled in my bed to me watching her bolt out my door. My heart was in my throat, my adrenaline pumping, my mind racing. The thought of her leaving brought on unexpected panic. I couldn’t take it.
Finally, my feet caught up with my brain, propelling me into motion. I wasn’t sure what the hell I would give her long term, but in this moment, all I knew for certain was I couldn’t let her leave. Couldn’t let her walk out of my life.
I quickly pulled up my slacks, not bothering with a shirt, and sprinted down my stairs and outside to my driveway. I was in time to see her opening the back door of a black Toyota Prius, which I assumed was her Uber.
“Wait, Kendall. Please don’t go.”
She hesitated, glancing toward the driver, then back to me, allowing me to close the gap. “Liam, I—”
“Stay so we can talk. If you don’t like what I have to say, then I’ll drive you home myself.” I had no idea what words I’d use, but the thought of her getting in the Uber and driving away from me evoked such a pang of loss I had to think of something.
“Please.” I threw in the last word on a whisper, desperate in a way I’d never experienced. I needed her to come back inside. To not leave me.
“Okay, um—” She looked toward the driver.
Thankfully, my trousers still had my wallet in them. I grabbed it, pulling out some cash, not bothering to count it. “Sorry for your trouble.”
The older gentleman shrugged. “Not a problem. You two have a good night.”
We both stood there, gazes locked, while he drove off. “Let’s go back inside,” I finally managed.
Taking her hand, I led her into my house and straight into the kitchen. I needed a moment to try to sort out my thoughts. Time to figure out what I would say. “Are you hungry?” She’d only picked at her food at the dinner earlier.
She nodded. “I could eat, but I should probably change out of my dress first.”
“You can change into one of my T-shirts and boxers. And leave some things over here going forward if you’d like.”
Her eyes widened at the significance of my words. I found no regret in saying them.
“Okay. I’ll be back down in a minute.”
As soon as she was out of sight, I expelled a long breath and braced myself against the counter, closing my eyes. I needed to figure out what I wanted to say. Obviously, I wasn’t a wing-it kind of guy given the way I prepared meticulously for a trial or deposition. I left no stone unturned and went over every detail. Everything was prepared, every word I said, every action I took—I even went so far as to school my facial expressions. Yet, this—this was different. It was personal. It was emotional. And I was completely without a script or the confidence I could win it.
She came back down the stairs in nothing but my T-shirt and boxers, making my heart race. Lord, she was beautiful.
“I have a frozen pizza. Or I can order something.�
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“Pizza is good.”
It would be for her. Because she wouldn’t care that I was offering her a mere four-dollar box pizza. She didn’t put on airs or expect gourmet simply because I had money. Instead, she was simply appreciative. I could learn something from her attitude.
I busied myself with putting the pizza in the oven, then turned to see her sitting on the counter.
As if she couldn’t stand avoiding the subject any longer, she waded in. “I know you said you don’t have time for a relationship.”
“Honestly, I’ve never taken the time to have one. As you said tonight at the party, my work is my priority.” I was terrified of the type of demands a girlfriend would put on me. I had no idea what I’d have to give up in order to make someone else happy.
“I don’t want to feel like you’re embarrassed to be with me.”
Shock jolted through me. Then it sank in. It was my words and the way I was hiding our relationship that had made her feel that way. Taking her hands, I kissed the inside of each of her palms, then her lips.
“I could never feel embarrassed by you. I was proud to be there with you tonight. I admire what you said to Stephen in the conference room and the way you can be so at ease, whether we’re at a fancy dinner or simply bowling with my family. You think I give a fuck about your title? I don’t. You’re the hardest working, most genuine, incredible person I’ve ever known. Hell, if anything, you’re the one getting the short end of the stick with me.”
I hesitated before going into the next part.
She beat me to it. “But…”
My sigh filled the air. “But until you are no longer my assistant, can we keep this thing from the people at the firm? Would you be okay with me being your boyfriend here but no more than your boss in the office?” There was no good way of explaining all of the whys without her taking it personally. In my mind, I wanted both my named partnership and the girl. Was it too much to ask?
Miss Understanding (The Miss Series Book 1) Page 22