Miss Understanding (The Miss Series Book 1)

by Aubrey Bondurant

  Although it wasn’t uncommon for the managing partner to schedule meetings with me, Phil was typically less formal, picking up the phone or simply dropping by. It made me wonder what might be happening. “Yes. It’s fine. Thank you.”

  She gave me a small smile. The intimate kind we only shared when we were alone. The type that hit me square in the chest in a way that both satisfied and terrified me.

  “You’re welcome. I’m off to my ten o’clock appointment and should be back in an hour or so.”

  That’s right. Her GYN appointment. “Okay. See you then.”

  At promptly ten thirty, I went up two floors to the managing partner’s office. Much to my surprise, Mr. Gerald Anderson of Lowry and Anderson was there with Phil. The older man had been retired from law for at least a decade, but he was known to drop in on his namesake from time to time. I’d only met him once before.

  “Ah, Liam Davenport, how nice to see you again.”

  “It’s nice to see you again, too, sir.” My gaze traveled to Phil, and he looked pleased, which made me anxious. Thankfully, my years of being a litigator enabled me to keep a poker face

  “Phil and I were discussing how much money you’ve brought in for the firm the last few years. And with the Stephen Walsh case, you’re due to top our expectations this year. Well done.”

  “Thank you. Much appreciated.” I accepted the compliments instead of deflecting them as I usually did. I’d worked my ass off for years, and I needed to feel as if I’d earned the respect given to me. But old habits were hard to break.

  We took seats in Phil’s sitting area, with Gerald and Phil on either side of the couch and me in the ornate wingback chair.

  “You know what I admire most about your career, Liam?” Gerald asked.

  “No, sir, what is that?”

  “You haven’t let anything get in the way. You’re not out chasing skirts, you’re not home changing diapers, you even managed to work through your bereavement leave. All that demonstrates you are purely focused on the prize.”

  “And what’s the prize?” Did I dare ask? Did I dare get my hopes up to think my biggest dream was about to come true?

  “Your name on the doors of this firm, of course. You want it, don’t you?”

  I didn’t bother to be coy. “More than anything.”

  “Good. That’s what I wanted to hear. It comes with sacrifice, of course. If you think you don’t have a personal life now, well, hold on for the ride. You definitely won’t have one if you become a named partner. In addition to the trial work you’d continue to do, you’d also need to represent the firm. As you may have heard, Alan Lowry isn’t in the best health lately. And I’m getting up there, too. We want young blood to invigorate the brand. And I think Lowry, Anderson, and Davenport has an excellent ring to it.”

  It certainly did. This was why I hadn’t cut back my hours when I’d made equity partner. This was why I’d sacrificed sleep and a personal life.

  Shit. I briefly thought of Kendall, but pushed her from my mind. This moment wasn’t about her. It wasn’t about our relationship. And it certainly wasn’t about choosing. There was no choice. I wanted to see my name on the door every day when I walked in. That’s what I’d always wanted. “I would be honored.”

  “We have a board to convince. But with me being the head of it, and Phil agreeing with my mindset, I think we’ll have a majority vote next month. I’d like you to meet with the head of the executive committee tomorrow in Chicago. Leonard Smith. Can you be there?”

  I’d have to rearrange the flight I’d intended to take home to Virginia tomorrow. But I’d do it. “Of course. I’ll fly out tonight if possible.”

  “Good. See, you’re already in the mindset of named partner. The firm always comes first.”

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  Kendall

  After walking the three blocks to my gynecologist’s office, I signed in and took a seat. I tried not to let what Liam had said yesterday affect me—about not wanting to give up using condoms. It made sense; the double birth control would be better protection. However, my motivation to avoid getting pregnant was because I was waiting for the right time. His motivation centered around never. The whole thing was a reminder he hadn’t changed his mind about having a family.

  The thought was disheartening since I was already in love with him. But the thought of breaking up with him and not having him in my life was even more depressing. Still—did I want to stay in a relationship hoping he’d change? It wasn’t fair to expect it. But while my head could be logical, my heart was busy trying to convince myself it was possible he’d change his mind. Hadn’t he done so already about not wanting a relationship? It was enough to cause a headache for sure.

  Once my name was called, I stood up and followed the nurse to the back into the exam room.

  “We’ll do your annual exam, but do you have any concerns?” the doctor asked when she came in. She was someone I’d found through a recommendation when I’d first started working downtown.

  “No concerns, but I’d like to go on some sort of birth control.”

  She gave me a warm smile. “Certainly. Were you thinking about the pill or the shot?”

  “Probably the pill if it means I don’t have to come in as often.”

  “I have one I’d recommend which is a low dose of hormone.” She went on to explain some of the benefits and possible side effects, also warning about the loss of effectiveness if I was on antibiotics. “Any questions?”

  “No, it all sounds good.”

  “Excellent. We’ll test the urine for pregnancy, then I’ll do your exam and write your prescription.”

  Sounded fine to me. Only when she came back ten minutes later, she wasn’t smiling. She wore a concerned-mother face.

  “Your test came back positive.”

  I couldn’t for the life of me comprehend what she was saying. “Positive for what?”

  “The pregnancy test. You’re pregnant, Kendall. We’ll have to do some blood tests to figure out how far along you are.”

  I couldn’t speak. I simply stared at her like she must be mistaken. Finally, words formed on my lips. “But we used condoms. Always.”

  She gave me a soft smile. “Not one hundred percent effective, unfortunately. Do you have anyone you’d like to call?”

  Definitely not Liam. Oh, God. He would flip out. He’d regret ever entering into this relationship with me. Tears leaked out of my eyes from merely picturing his reaction. “No.”

  “Tell you what—I realize this is coming as a shock to you. How about we take some blood and get some more information for you? Okay?”

  I nodded, only half listening at this point.

  Forty minutes later, I was back at my desk, staring unseeingly at my computer screen. Liam was clearly still in his meeting as he wasn’t in his office.

  Based on my hormone levels, the blood test had put me at approximately six weeks. Dr. Ling had given me a list of books, vitamins, and resources to call if I had questions. Unfortunately, she wasn’t an obstetrician which meant I’d need to find one. She hadn’t judged, hadn’t asked hard questions about my relationship status, but had given me her on-call number in case I had follow-up questions.

  “Ms. Tate.” Liam’s voice startled me.

  I hadn’t heard him approach. He was with Phillip Kinkaid. How in the world was I supposed to tell him this? And when? I had class tonight. Maybe after. Shit. Could I manage to hold it together if he asked what was wrong? “Yes, Mr. Davenport.”

  “Everything okay?” he whispered once Phil had preceded him into his office.

  “Yes. Fine. Can I help with anything?” I didn’t want to give anything away. This would be the absolute worst place to tell him the news.

  “I need you to reschedule my entire afternoon. I have to run home after my meeting with Phil, then fly to Chicago tonight. And rearrange my flight for Virginia so that it leaves from Chicago tomorrow afternoon. Sorry for the last-minute changes.”

 
If he was flying to Chicago, that meant I wouldn’t get a chance to see him tonight. It meant he’d be gone for the weekend. My heart sank. Right now I needed someone to tell me it would be okay. Then again, would Liam be that person? Doubtful.

  “Sure. I understand. I’ll take care of it.”

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  Liam

  Once I was behind a closed door in my office, Phil went on and on about the privilege of being considered for a named partner.

  Meanwhile my mind wandered to Kendall. What would happen if the board knew I was seeing her? I didn’t have to guess. I’d lose my shot at becoming named partner quicker than I could blink. Given how unbelievably conservative the group was, they’d never understand a partner dating his secretary. They’d consider it drama the firm didn’t need.

  Then there was the part about Gerald saying my life would only get busier. I’d be traveling the country. Attending events and representing the firm. No time for a relationship. No time for a personal life. No time for Kendall.

  I swallowed hard, focusing on Phil’s next words.

  “I don’t have to tell you this is confidential until it’s voted on and made official.”

  “No, you don’t. I won’t tell anyone.”

  “Not even Tabitha?”

  My eyes narrowed at his question. “Especially not her. Why did you ask me that question?”

  He shrugged. “She’s implied more than once you two may have something going on.”

  “Believe me when I say there has never been something now, nor would there ever be. Named partners don’t earn the title by sleeping with their coworkers.”

  I was a hypocrite. An absolute fraud to have uttered those words. Doing so made me question if I deserved the title of named partner.

  I didn’t see Kendall before I had to leave for my flight. It was for the best as I had dread eating at my stomach. Even if she quit the firm in a few months, and we were free to date without any judgment, it was clear a personal life wasn’t compatible with my new role at the firm. Bottom line was she deserved more than I would be able to give her.

  Then, why was I hesitating? I had everything I’d ever worked for in one hand. I should have been elated. I should have wanted to celebrate. I shouldn’t have been second-guessing whether it would be worth the sacrifice of love—of all things. Jesus, was it love I was feeling for Kendall? Why did this have to be so complicated?

  It was near ten o’clock when I checked in to my Chicago hotel. First thing in the morning I’d go into the office to meet with Leonard Smith, the head of the executive committee for the firm. After the meeting, I’d be off to Virginia for the reading of my father’s will. It was enough to have me downing two mini bottles of bourbon, trying to get a handle on my emotions. I was finishing off the second when my cell phone rang.

  It was Kendall. Which was strange as she should still be in class.

  “Hello,” I answered.

  “Hi. How was your flight?”

  Her voice seemed off. “It was okay. Shouldn’t you be in class?”

  “I didn’t feel like staying the whole time. Um, do you mind if I come over Sunday when you return? I really need to talk to you.”

  Something was definitely off if she’d left class early. “Sure. Or you can tell me now.” Perhaps she sensed me already pulling away. Maybe she’d heard about Gerald coming into the office and realized the stakes had been raised, putting our relationship in jeopardy.

  “I can’t. It would be better face to face.”

  Again, her tone was strange. “Something’s wrong. Is it your roommate search? Your nan?”

  “No. It’s not either.”

  “Just tell me now.” I’d never been a patient guy, and this was making me anxious—perhaps she was ready to break up with me. Hell, I could’ve been more social with her family. Maybe she was tired of hiding things. Perhaps she’d come to the conclusion that she was better off without me before I had to say it myself.

  “I can’t tell you over the phone.”

  “Yes, you can.” Then I remembered how she’d appeared off shortly after she’d returned from the doctor. “Was something wrong at your appointment today?”

  Silence with what sounded like sniffling.

  Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Acid crawled up my throat as my mind raced toward a worst-case scenario. “Tell me, Kendall.”

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Whoosh. Blood rushed to my ears while my brain seemed to shut down completely. There was only the sound of her breathing over the line. My voice, once found, was uncharacteristically high. “How?”

  “I asked the doctor the same question. She said condoms aren’t foolproof. I was thinking back to the time in your office with the condom you found in your desk. The timing is about right as they’re putting me at six weeks.”

  “I knew I should’ve had a vasectomy.” I’d put it off, but it would’ve been the smart thing to do. I hadn’t realized I’d said the words out loud until she sucked in a harsh breath.

  “And I knew I shouldn’t have told you this over the phone.”

  I was pacing the hotel room. “I’m sorry. But I told you I don’t want kids. I don’t want a family. I don’t want any of it. Jesus, the timing couldn’t be worse. I found out I have a shot at named partner today. That’s what the meeting was about with Phil. Gerald Anderson was there. I’m meeting the head of the executive committee tomorrow to gain his recommendation. They made it clear this isn’t a position for a man with any personal ties.”

  I would blame the shock and alcohol later for my lack of filter. I was unprepared for her anger.

  “Do you think I planned this? Being pregnant, now of all times, wasn’t part of my plan, either. Just because I don’t have named partner on the line doesn’t mean this doesn’t affect me, too. But don’t worry. No need to wait until you have the title to break up with me. You can have your wish early.”

  I raked a hand over my face, cursing myself, about to respond with an apology, but the phone was cut off. Shit. If there was an idiot’s guide about what not to say, I could have written it.

  Text messages and phone calls to Kendall went unanswered. Finally, I gave up and employed a new strategy the next morning. I waited until she was in the office and called my line from the Chicago office, so she wouldn’t recognize the number and ignore me.

  “Mr. Davenport’s office, how may I help you?” her voice answered. Amazing how much I’d missed it.

  “It’s me. Don’t hang up.”

  “Unless this is work related, please don’t call me.”

  “I need five minutes. Can you transfer this to my office and take it there for privacy? Please?”

  I waited the ten beats until she finally said, “Fine. Five minutes.”

  Although I was a master at preparing what needed to be said, I was ill prepared right now.

  Finally there was a click and then the sound of her voice. “All right. I’m here.”

  “First off, I want to apologize for last night. I could make a lot of excuses, but the bottom line is it was inexcusable.”

  Silence.

  “What are you thinking, Kendall?” How was she feeling? Scared? Lonely? Disappointed in me? Probably all of the above.

  “I don’t know. I’m still processing things.”

  “About if you’re planning to keep this baby?”

  “Yes. Or from what I’m reading, the miscarriage rate is high, so maybe you’ll get lucky.”

  Her shot hit below the belt, but I didn’t blame her. Never in a million years would I wish for her to lose the baby. Nor did I want her to consider abortion. “I didn’t mean it that way. I’m thousands of miles away trying to figure out what to say here, and clearly botching it all.”

  “I should’ve never told you over the phone. It was a mistake. I knew you wouldn’t be happy, but I wanted someone to talk to because it had come as such as shock.”

  Not for the first time, I realized how very selfish I’d been to only think of myself. “Ke
ndall—”

  “I’m not done. I need you to leave me alone for the weekend. Don’t call. Don’t text. Leave me to figure some things out. Rest assured, I’m not going to HR, nor do I plan on telling anyone in the office. Hell, I’m still on the fence about whether to tell my roommate. I’ve always known what your priorities are, and I don’t expect you to change them for me or for this circumstance. Matter of fact, I don’t expect anything from you.”

  I hated the way she said circumstance. It was cold. Clinical. I knew in my heart, I’d pushed her to this. She was in self-preservation mode because I had been such a prick. I also loathed the way she assumed I’d think she’d go to HR. I was beyond my trust issues with her, but hearing she didn’t believe it was another blow.

  “Can we talk once I return?” I was grasping at straws here, desperate to try to do damage control.

  “Text me once you’re home, and I’ll let you know when I’m ready to see you. Also, one more thing.”

  “What is it?”

  “I put in this morning for a transfer to the Century City office. They have an open secretarial position. No matter what happens, it would be best for me to make this move. I’m sure the coordinator will be reaching out to you. I’m hopeful you will be supportive of the move.”

  “If it’s what you want.” I’d lost her. She couldn’t wait to get away from me. She had probably started another list of all the reasons why.

  “It is. Again, I’m sorry I put this on you over the phone on your way to Virginia. I hope everything goes okay with your family.”

  Leave it to her to apologize when she didn’t need to. “It’s me who should do all the apologizing. I’ll text you Sunday.”

  “Okay. Goodbye.”

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  Liam