“Horse?” Patrice asked, sounding more than a little freaked out.
Fuck, maybe Patrice didn’t like horses.
I put down the bags on the floor and turned to find him looking a little spooked and still shivering. It was still freezing even inside the barn and he was looking around the stable like he expected a wild horse to break free from one of the stalls and trample us to death.
“So I take it you’re not a fan of horseback riding?” I asked, and watched him stiffen with every word.
“I’ve never ridden a horse before.” He shrugged and tried to smile, but I could tell he was embarrassed. “It’s not like there’s a big riding scene in the South Bronx you know?”
I couldn’t tell if the humor in his voice was real or if it was just his way of trying to not make me feel like a jackass. Why did I assume that Patrice would be up to gallivanting on a horse in the snow like we were in a fucking Disney movie?
“Hey, what’s all that glaring about?” Patrice’s light tone went a long way to make me feel less like a clueless moron. “It’s a little cold, but we can still have a good afternoon.” Now he was talking to me like I was a hurt kitten.
I exhaled through my nose as I stiffly returned his embrace. The only thing that was keeping me from being completely flustered was the fact that Patrice seemed to think that my utter failure was adorably funny.
I looked up at him and saw that he was smiling so big his eyes were crinkling, and I could see his molars. “Why are you smiling? You’re usually somewhere between solemn and full-on annoyed. But me bringing you out here to freeze your balls off on my pretentious faux date has you downright giddy.” I huffed as he laughed again. “What the fuck, Patrice?” I could not for the life of me avoid sounding like a whiny baby.
Patrice gave me a rueful smile and tightened his arms around me, his mouth so close to my ear his warm breath made me shiver. “I kind of like this pissed-off you. It’s nice not to be the moody asshole for once. Besides we can still have a nice time, we can eat in the car, there’s heating in there.”
I rolled my eyes, but it was hard to stay mad when he was like this.
“Well, for the record, it stinks to know that my idea to sweep you of your feet was stupid and poorly executed, even if you seem to be weirdly happy about my fail.”
More smiling and acting delighted. “We don’t have to give up on this totally, and knowing how busy you are right now I do appreciate that you went to the trouble of planning something. Besides, it’s not your fault it’s unseasonably cold today. I’d still like to see the horses. I haven’t really been to a horse farm before.”
He was beaming.
I angled my head and tried not to sound too annoyed when I spoke again. “So wait, you can barely muster up a smirk ninety percent of the time, but this utter fiasco is somehow the most fun thing ever for you?”
Again with the smiling, but his eyes were telling me that there was a lot more to his mood. He was seeing something. The way he was looking at me, holding me, it felt different. It was like he was fully there with me for the first time.
“I’m not sure what’s happening right now,” I said, genuinely puzzled.
He took my hand and, without answering, started moving to the stalls. The smell of hay, manure and horseflesh was overpowering with all the ventilation pretty much closed because of the cold. I found the smell comforting, since horses had been one of the few things I’d had growing up that my parents actually approved of. But I knew it wasn’t something most people found pleasant. He seemed fine though, looking around, taking everything in, a contented smile on his lips. When we got to the bay he asked in a low voice, like he was afraid of disturbing the animals, “Which one is yours?”
“How do you know I have one?” was my evasive answer.
His exaggerated eye roll was almost comical.
I pointed at my guy, who had been fretting since he’d heard my voice. “That’s him,” I said, pointing at my black Percheron that was now openly demanding my attention, snorting and bumping his nose on the door of his stall. I walked over and gave him some love while Patrice watched from a distance. “This is Justice.”
He laughed and shook his head at that. “Subtle.”
I dipped my head, sure I was blushing at his teasing tone. “So much about me is understated.”
I actually got a snort out of Patrice Denis.
“He’s beautiful.” He inched toward where I was standing petting Justice’s big head. “And large.”
I smiled at Patrice’s very cautious tone and movements. “You can move closer, he thinks he’s a dog. He’ll probably try to lick you, but other than that, you’re pretty safe.”
We stood there for a few moments petting Justice and feeding him an apple I’d brought for him, while I thought of how to salvage this afternoon. I was running scenarios through my head when Patrice tugged on my scarf.
“Hey, no fretting. We’re having a nice a time.” He hiked his thumb in the direction of the parking lot. “Let’s finish visiting with Justice then go warm up a little in the car. We can drive back home after.” The word “home” was uttered in a very suggestive tone. The way he was looking at me made me feel like my clothes were going to disintegrate from my body.
After giving a last pat to a very unhappy Justice, I let him pull me out of the barn and we walked to my SUV. I said in genuine amazement, “This Zen thing you’ve got going is quite remarkable. I’m not sure I can handle it.”
He laughed again as we got into my frigid car and I immediately blasted the heat and turned on the seat warmers. As we sat there thawing out, I saw Patrice was mulling over what I’d said.
He leaned down to get the thermos I’d brought with me and opened it. When he sniffed it he raised both eyebrows. “Is there liquor in here?”
I grinned at his surprised expression. “Just a touch of bourbon.”
He shook his head and closed it up. “Maybe just water, then.”
I just nodded, still waiting for his answer about my previous comment. After taking a long drink of what had to be icy water, he looked at me and I could tell he was still considering how to approach the conversation I’d just reopened.
“It’s not Zen.” He shook his head as he bit the side of his mouth. “My utter lack of chill doesn’t exactly allow for that,” he said ruefully, then let out a long breath and pressed his head to the back of the seat and turned those almost-black eyes on me. I couldn’t stay away when he was this close, so I leaned in and pressed a kiss to his mouth.
When I pulled back he put his hand on the back of my head and pulled me in for another, licking into my mouth with gentle brushes of his tongue. Making me feel his kiss all the way down to my toes.
Only after did he start to talk again. “I just like that you’re able to lose it a little bit with me. That you don’t feel like you need to do that Mr. Sunshine thing all the time.”
Mr. Sunshine?
He leaned in and kissed me again. “It’s just nice to see that you can be real with me. I want to reciprocate, babe.”
Babe?
I was literally stunned into silence, but apparently the new Patrice was chatty. “I want to make this work, and to do that I need to let go a bit, be a little sunnier, so you can feel free...not to be. Balance.”
I pursed my lips and could almost see my eyebrows with how much I’d furrowed them. “So you like that I threw a fit?”
He actually cackled at my bafflement. “I like that we can be ourselves with each other. I like being with you in the car right now, and not freezing my ass off while I try to ride a gigantic horse that could crush me. I like you, Easton.”
My heart was beating that way it had started doing whenever Patrice was around. “I like you too.”
He nodded and then thrust his chin out in the direction of the steering wheel. “Let’s go back to your place. Maybe we c
an put the rest of this afternoon to good use.”
I pulled out of the stable and onto the road back to Ithaca, thinking about what had just happened. My romantic afternoon had been an utter fail and somehow things between Patrice and me felt more solid now than they ever had. Before I knew it, I was talking about something I hadn’t said to anyone else before.
“Brad outed me to my dad.”
I briefly glanced at Patrice’s face, which had lost all semblance of relaxation. “He did what?” he asked, his voice barely contained fury.
“It was a long time ago, we were still in high school. I actually went to the public high school, because they had better AP classes. Brad did too. He was a year behind me. Anyway, junior year, I wasn’t out, but I’d been seeing this senior.”
“Okay.” That was the only thing that Patrice could manage to say.
I cleared my throat and thought of Justin. “His mom was a professor too, but his dad was a local artist, they didn’t run with my and Brad’s parents’ circle. He was out to his family, and they were so great. I loved going to his house.” I sighed thinking how weird it was to be in a house where the adults actually seemed to get along.
“Anyway, Brad was obsessed with Justin, and did everything he could to get his attention. When he realized we were dating, he made it his mission to fuck with me.”
“What did he do?” Patrice’s voice was heavy with dread.
“Typical Brad, he ‘accidentally’ asked in front of my parents if I was bringing my boyfriend to my family’s annual holiday party.” I shook my head. “Needless to say it did not go over well with my dad. He acted like it was no big deal and then as soon as everyone left, my dad iced me out and didn’t talk to me for months. When I confronted Brad he just said he didn’t realize it was a big deal. He’s always been like that. A vicious little prick.”
“Your dad didn’t speak to you for months?” He shook his head, confused. “I can’t say things were perfect for me coming out, but I at least was able to tell my mother on my own terms. That motherfucker, no wonder you can’t stand him.”
I lifted a shoulder, surprised at how little I felt about Brad. “My mom was better about it. It’s hard for her to go against my dad, but she did her best to be supportive. Brad’s like that. Sneaky and mean. That’s why I was worried about that meeting with your chair. I would not be surprised if he’s behind it.”
He sucked his teeth and looked out the window at that. “I’ll be fine. I figured it was because I’ve been making noise with all the stuff I’m doing in town.”
I almost didn’t say anything to that, but then I figured fuck it. “I hope they don’t interfere with that. What you’re doing with Justice Center is great.”
He eyes softened at my words and something in my chest cracked just a little. “I’ll be fine. I also won’t put up with bullshit. They knew exactly who I was when they hired me. If they thought they were going to do a ‘diversity hire’ and then make me invisible they have another thing coming. And Brad better not try me. I didn’t like him before, but after hearing what he did to you, I don’t give a fuck if he was fifteen, that shit’s just evil. Why are you grinning?”
“You’re really pissed,” I said in an amused voice.
He just shook his head and grabbed the hand I had resting on my thigh and kissed it. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to.
Chapter Sixteen
Patrice
We got back to Easton’s after a reasonably stressful drive in the snow, and I was still processing all that had happened on our non-date. We walked into his penthouse, and Easton went over to the fireplace while I ruminated about the conversations we’d had this afternoon. The new sides to Easton I’d seen. That shitty story about Brad outing him, and what he’d said when I’d asked about what he was reading. I was still thinking over the words he’d used and must’ve been pulling a face because I heard a scoff from somewhere in the big room.
“Wow, I know I messed up the date, but I didn’t know you’d be that upset.” He was trying to be funny, but I could tell he was also wondering if my mood had shifted somehow. I was being weird, standing by the door with my coat still on. I shook of my brooding and went to hang my stuff by the door, then walked up to him. He was standing by the fireplace, looking unsure and like he was regretting all the things he’d shared today.
When I finally got to him I wrapped an arm around his waist and used my other hand to smooth out the worry lines in his face. “Your romantic date planning is...interesting.” He huffed even as he pressed closer to me. He loved getting close enough that he had to tilt his head up to look at me. I twisted my mouth to the side, trying not to grin at the redness creeping up his neck. “You do have me feeling some type of way, Mr. Archer.”
“Oh. What way is that, then?” he asked, hooking his leg with mine. The utter delight in his voice made me shake my head. I didn’t know how Easton could stay like this, like he was untouched by the shit I knew very well he came in contact with constantly. The things that I now knew had been done to him. He was resilient and strong, so fucking strong. He kept opening his heart, even when he knew it could be trampled.
I placed my hand under his chin and I brought his face up for a kiss. As we grazed our tongues together, the thought that kept trying to edge out my usual doom and gloom creeped in again.
Maybe this could work.
Maybe we had enough here to go on, to build something. I took both his hands in mine as we kissed, our fingers intertwined between us as we tasted each other. Moments like this with Easton shut the world out, and that would never stop being a revelation for me.
I was so lost to kissing him that I almost didn’t hear my phone going off. The only person who ever called me was my mother and the guys, but they all had ringtones I recognized, so I figured it was the wrong number. I almost just let it ring, but Easton pulled apart, his face adorably annoyed.
“What if it’s something important?”
I bit my lip, trying not to laugh. “More important than this?”
An eye roll was his response as I got my phone out of my pocket. When I saw Ari’s number my heart immediately started pounding, remembering the last time he’d called me. I instantly dismissed the thought, he couldn’t have been stopped again.
I lifted a shoulder at Easton who noticed my concerned expression. As soon as I took the call I knew something was wrong. “It’s Ari.”
“What’s going on?” I asked, my heart pounding already. There was some shuffling on the phone and when Ari spoke it was obvious he was trying not to cry.
“I’m so sorry to bother you again, Patrice.”
I closed my eyes, glad to hear that he at least did not seem to be physically in distress, but still concerned about how upset he sounded. “You don’t have to apologize, I’m glad you called.”
I looked at Easton who was standing right next to me, his shoulders tensing at my words.
There was more sniffling and I heard muffled yelling in the background.
Ari sighed heavily then spoke. “My uncle does not want me to stay with him anymore.” He could barely talk at this point. “Yin was over here, and he, and we—”
He started crying then, and he didn’t need to say what happened for me to figure out what was going on. I felt the skin tighten on my face, so fucking angry for Ari, as I felt the humiliation in the agonized cries over the phone.
When he spoke again he sounded completely miserable. “We were just kissing. Now he’s saying I can’t take the car because he helped me pay for it and with the insurance.”
That motherfucker.
“Ari, I’m coming to pick you up. You can stay with me until we figure something out, okay?”
There was more breathing on the line, but this time it sounded a lot like relief. “Yes, please.”
I turned around and started walking to the door, Easton ri
ght behind me. When I shook my head at him, he mouthed “I’m coming with you” with a very stubborn set to his jaw.
I nodded, unable to deny my own relief at not having to deal with this on my own. “We’re leaving now, be there in fifteen minutes.”
I was about to hang up when Ari spoke again, his voice strained again.
“Can you look out for Yin? He ran out of the house when my uncle started threatening us and told him to leave or he was going to call the police. He left his phone here. So he may just be walking home, and it’s freezing outside. It was snowing before.” He sniffled again. “He was so freaked out when he left, I’m scared he’ll get hurt.”
Fuck.
“Okay. We’ll keep an eye out for him. See you soon.”
Only after ending the call with Ari did I realize that I’d said we. I quickly tried to think of a time that I’d used a plural pronoun to refer to someone other than the guys or my mom. I could not come up with a single one.
“What happened?” Easton asked, his voice alert and worried.
When I turned, I saw him standing there ready to go, coat, hat and scarf already on. His keys and my gear in his hand.
My instinct very much called for me to handle this myself, but I pushed it down and let myself be glad that Easton was here right now. I took my coat from him and explained as I quickly shrugged it on.
“His uncle caught him and Yin, and apparently kicked him out of the house,” I said, my voice tight with frustration.
“Shit. Is there anyone you want me to call? How can I help?”
There it was, no hesitation. Something was happening and he was here to help.
“Thanks,” I said, gripping his hand for a second as we walked to the elevator. “Actually, could we go in separate cars?”
He tensed at my words and I could tell he thought I didn’t want him with me. “It’s just, Ari’s worried about Yin. He ran off so fast when the uncle came that he left his phone. There’s no bus route or anything around there and Yin doesn’t drive.”
I could see the tension around his eyes ease as I told him the reason. A look of determination replacing the doubt that had been there a second ago.
American Love Story (Dreamers) Page 19