Working God's Mischief

by Glen Cook

  “Boss?”

  “Musing out loud. Working out why these problems are inevitable. There’s a tipping point somewhere. On the down-below side you trust nobody in charge because they obviously have no idea what the man at the point of the sword is facing. On the up side you can’t trust any of those lazy fools down there to do what you need to get done.”

  “Interesting,” Consent said. “I would think that a thoughtful man who didn’t start at the top by right of birth would reach that tipping point later.”

  Hecht grunted, alarmed that he was not the ideal commander that he knew he would become back when he led the band that brought the mummies out of Andesqueluz.

  Consent said, “Unlike any commander before you, you have the added ego-feeding burden of the Shining Ones.”

  That took time to sink in. He was not taking full advantage of the Old Ones? No. Of course he was not.

  Hecht told Consent, “Titus, I’m slipping but I haven’t surrendered to the Will of the Night. Not yet.” He thought for twenty seconds. “I could be so much more—of what I’m not sure—if I made better use of the Shining Ones. I bet they mock me when they’re with each other.”

  “Boss, they don’t think that way. They’re eternals. That kind of thinking is petty. Meaning mortal.”

  “All right.” Hecht thought the Old Ones could be more petty than most humans, considering the myths and folklore surrounding them.

  He and Titus were in Anna’s drawing room. Anna was in the kitchen. Otherwise, they were alone. Unless … Hecht was tempted to summon the Choosers, just to see if they would come.

  Titus said, “Much as I have enjoyed it, this visit wasn’t a good idea.”

  “Titus?”

  “The Master of the Commandery knows you’re here. He knows you didn’t ride in or sneak in on foot. He’ll have Special Office help to pry.”

  Possibly. But Titus was not taking into account a mundane person’s disinclination to believe in the things of the Night, in any practical sense.

  Hecht said, “The Special Office has kept a low profile for years.”

  “Had to after they got caught doing what they were doing.”

  “Those were rogue Brothers.”

  Titus nodded. “Of course. Only a handful understood that they were doing the Adversary’s work. The rest just did what they were told.”

  Hecht had fallen out of touch with all that. The Brotherhood of War and Special Office had been only marginally involved in his campaigns as Captain-General. They had only a small presence in the Grail Empire. God’s warriors there belonged to the Knights of the Grail Order. The Grail Order carried God’s wrath to the pagans of the east.

  “Why are we worrying about this, Titus?”

  “We aren’t. You are, because Addam Hauf has shown that he may have supernatural resources.”

  “Right.”

  Hecht had options. He could send one of the girls to spy. Or he could send the Choosers. He would do that only in extremity. Hauf was not his enemy.

  “You look nostalgic.”

  Hecht started. His thoughts had drifted to Helspeth.

  “Now you look like you got caught with your pants down.”

  “Titus!”

  “Just reporting what I see, Boss.”

  “Addam Hauf. Advise me. Should I see him?”

  “He thinks his reason for seeing you is important enough to give away the fact that he has a supernatural connection.”

  “I wonder what that could be.”

  “He’s sure to let you know. Isn’t he?”

  “Titus, you are, truly, a pain in the ass at times.”

  “We don’t have a slave to whisper in your ear so I have to remind you that you’re only a man. So far.”

  “So far?”

  “That dimwit Asgrimmur managed to ascend. In a non-pagan land, in a non-pagan time. Look at the connections you have.”

  That was not a fate that appealed to Piper Hecht, Else Tage, or Lord Arnmigal. He was no pagan, however much he consorted with pagan Instrumentalities. Right now he owned no god at all, saving Helspeth Ege.

  Anna broke his reverie by appearing with tea and a light lunch. She was so cheerful Hecht’s guilt became self-loathing. “Principaté Delari is hosting a reception for us tonight. Titus, bring Noë and your children. The girls will be there. They dote on your boys. Piper, you can see Addam Hauf there. He can visit Principaté Delari without causing comment.”

  “Anna, once again you show me why I count on you. You think and create while I fuss, worry, and waste time.”

  “I do what I can.”

  Her response surprised him. Her tone was just short of sullen.

  Titus felt it, too. He finished his tea. “Will the Principaté send a coach?”

  Anna brightened slightly. “He will. Be here before the seventh hour. We’ll ride over together.” She gave Hecht a hard look.

  Did she know about Helspeth?

  No. Her attitude had to be a reflection of his own. “Titus, we’ll see you then.”

  “All right. How will you get your invitation to the Master of the Commandery?”

  “I’ll think of something.”

  * * *

  Titus was gone. Hecht felt oddly distraught. He could not articulate his malaise.

  His loathing for Piper Hecht grew.

  As Anna cleared lunch’s leavings, he said, “I get the feeling you aren’t happy with me. What did I do? Or not do? And what can I do about it?”

  She startled him by stepping close and pulling him into a gentle embrace. “There isn’t anything you can do, Piper. The problem is mine. My wishes have outstripped my expectations, and those exceed the most generous whims of reality.”

  Hecht had to admit, secretly, that he had no idea how the female mind worked.

  Titus might be right. This visit might have been a mistake. Maybe he was supposed to leave this part of his life behind.

  He could not. Abandoning Anna would mean abandoning Lila and Vali, too. It would mean turning his back on the Ninth and Eleventh Unknowns. It would mean leaving Heris behind. It would mean giving up the only family he ever had.

  Heris, surely, would tell him to go to hell, even if the others tried to be understanding.

  “Piper?”

  “Anna, coming here may not have been the best thing to do.”

  “Piper!”

  “I was almost at peace with being separated. Now I’ll be in torment all over again.” He would miss Anna. Anna Mozilla was the personification of home and hearth, always back there behind him, wherever he went. Anna Mozilla was the sure retreat, always waiting.

  He was a selfish man. “But I’ll get through it again. It’s only one more year. Then there’ll be no more crusades.”

  “So you’ll just walk away from being a Grand Duke?”

  “It isn’t a real title. Well, it is, but without the powers and responsibilities. I get to use the revenues to pay for the Enterprise. If I don’t walk away afterward Katrin’s family will probably kill me.”

  “People haven’t had much luck doing that, have they?”

  “It only takes once. What do you think of Addam Hauf?”

  “A true gentleman. That’s unusual in a member of the Brotherhood. But he is merciless toward God’s enemies.”

  * * *

  Muniero Delari’s coach was crowded by two couples and three children. Only three? The Consent spawn seemed like several more.

  Noë Consent was radiant. Quiet and shy, she never called attention to herself. Hecht was surprised that she had become such a beauty. He told Anna, “Coming back was definitely right for Titus.”

  “It was right for us, too. Whatever you think.”

  That was wise old earth goddess Anna Mozilla talking. She was an Instrumentality in her own right, to Piper Hecht.

  “I bow to your feminine wisdom.”

  “There is no need for ridicule.”

  He turned on Titus. “Mr. Consent. You’re an old married man. Can’t you kee
p your hands to yourself?”

  Noë turned beet red but Titus said, “I could, but why waste time? I have to compress a year’s worth into a two-day window.” Unrepentant. And far from being as publicly demonstrative as Hecht’s challenge suggested. Three children were underfoot, after all.

  Actually, they were more present than underfoot. Only the infant was not hanging out a window, awed by the city as seen from a carriage.

  Anna said, “I believe that was, in the lexicon of the soldiering trade, a diversion. Worry not, Piper. It worked. We’re here, now.”

  True. Muniero Delari’s man Turking opened the door. He put a portable step in place, then began handing the ladies down.

  Anna went first. She left Hecht with a look that told him he was not as clever as he thought.

  Principaté Delari himself came out to greet his guests. Hecht got the feeling his grandfather was putting on a show. He looked around for the target audience. Was Delari using him in some political scheme?

  Heris and Cloven Februaren came outside, too.

  Hecht felt a sudden chill. He turned. The light of an almost full moon revealed a dark silhouette atop one of the Old Empire triumphal columns that dotted Brothe. Most of those had lost the figures that topped them. This was one such.

  The figure there now spread fifteen-foot wings.

  “Message received.” His dire guardians were with him.

  The Ninth Unknown, he noted, had missed nothing.

  Muniero Delari enveloped Anna in a huge hug. “So wonderful to see you, dear woman. You have become a stranger.”

  “An anchorite, of sorts,” Anna admitted. “It’s age, I think. Most days it doesn’t seem worth the trouble to leave the house.”

  Hecht detected a note of melancholy.

  He started to shake the Principaté’s hand but the old man swept him into an embrace. He held that for a moment, then turned to the house with Hecht and Anna to either side. “I’m hearing amazing things about you, Piper. Amazing things. Let’s get inside, away from the bugs.”

  Vali and Lila waited inside. So did Hourli and Ferris Renfrow, engaged in idle chatter.

  Hourli was Raneul. Maybe that meant her prejudice against the Bastard was less virulent. Maybe it was just the times.

  Hecht said, “You’ve gotten the place completely restored.”

  Delari said, “It’s better than ever. And I’ll be in hock to the moneylenders for two hundred years.”

  The girls came to greet Hecht. He said, “Don’t you two look marvelous? Grandfather, I hope you’re riding close herd on these two.”

  Anna said, “Really, Piper! Is that appropriate?”

  “Look at them! Every randy moron over the age of eleven…”

  “Use your head. They’re women. And they’re beyond any control but their own because they can go anywhere they want any time they want.”

  Whereupon Lila gave him an arch look that, in essence, dared him to trump that.

  Februaren chimed in, “They’re old maids already.”

  Vali said, “I see no point to getting married. Or even involved with a man. We have too much fun doing the stuff we’re doing.”

  Hecht nodded. Considering the circumstances in which he had found the girls they were sure to have distorted attitudes about man-woman relationships.

  Lila said, “I wish Pella were here. I miss that obnoxious little peckerwood.”

  Everyone stopped moving. Anna snapped, “Lila! Where did?…” She turned on Cloven Februaren, whose radiant innocence could have redeemed nations.

  “As noted, the girls can go where they want, when they want. She may have been hanging out with low characters.”

  “There’s no doubt about that.”

  Delari’s woman Felske announced dinner, which would be served buffet style despite the status of the guests. The Principaté did not have the staff to serve a formal dinner and refused to bring temporary staff into his home.

  Hecht sighed as he began choosing foods. Posted near the long sideboard, Turking seated each guest. Though not consigned to a separate table or room, the Consent dependents ended up as remote from their host as could be managed.

  It took everyone a quarter hour to settle, Titus last because he helped Noë. Vali and Lila were down at the foot with Noë so they could help wrangle the little people. Muniero Delari sat at the head of the table, the end, with Hourli to his immediate right and Hecht to his left, next to an empty chair. Anna sat beyond that. Heris ended up next to Hourli with an empty seat beyond her. Titus and Ferris Renfrow each had a seat beside one of the girls. Titus was content but Renfrow seemed a little put out. A third open place lay opposite Cloven Februaren. It featured a place setting but no chair.

  Even the little ones looked to the head of the table.

  Delari was amused. “Considering this eclectic gathering, the traditional prayer would seem misplaced. Take a moment to commune privately with your own concept of the divine. I’ll use my moment to heap curses on those who didn’t have the courtesy to show up on time. Well. Here is one of them now. Him I’ll only consign to Purgatory.”

  Asgrimmur Grimmsson came in from the same side room Februaren, Heris, and the girls used when they transitioned into the townhouse. He had a feather in his hair and was straightening clothing that looked like it had been dragged from a sack. Turking intercepted him, spoke softly, led him past the buffet, seated him next to Heris.

  No one said much during the process. Renfrow’s scowl deepened because he had been seated below the ascendant. Hecht watched suspiciously. Grimmsson muttered something to Heris about bad weather over the Jagos.

  By then Turking had gone to greet the next tardy guest.

  There was almost no talk at the table and little eating, except amongst Titus’s brood.

  Hecht focused on his sister and the ascendant. Something was going on there. He would have a hard time minding his own business.

  Belatedly, he realized that the evening would betray his real relationship with Delari, Februaren, and Grade Drocker—if those not in the know paid the least attention.

  Hecht met Hourli’s gaze. She arched her right eyebrow. She needed do nothing more to communicate an admonition regarding Heris and Asgrimmur. Just a little reminder about hypocrisy and double standards.

  He winced.

  Hourli knew things he would rather she did not. That gave her a minor lever.

  The Ninth Unknown watched from down the table. That old fox probably knew …

  Turking returned accompanied by Master of the Commandery Addam Hauf and the head of the Bruglioni family, Paludan Bruglioni. Paludan was in a wheelchair, still.

  Hecht had had little contact with the Bruglioni the past few years—though he had made Paludan’s lifelong best friend Gervase Saluda Patriarch by fiat.

  Paludan must be here on Charity’s behalf.

  Hecht left his seat, met Paludan at the sideboard. “Let me help.” Turking was behind the man’s wheelchair.

  “All right.” Bruglioni told Hauf, “You first, Master.”

  Hecht said, “I didn’t expect to see you.”

  “Nor I you. I expected a quiet chat with a powerful member of the Collegium who hasn’t been especially supportive of Charity. Imagine my consternation when Hauf arrived as I was getting down from my coach. Now I’m entirely at sea.”

  “You’re not unique.”

  Bruglioni betrayed a ghost of a frown when looking at the girls and the Consent brood. He then concentrated on choosing foods, mainly rich dishes in heavy sauces. “They won’t let me enjoy myself at home. If I eat nothing but what they let me, instead of what I want, will I live forever? I don’t think so. Do you have any idea what’s going on?”

  “No. Though I thought I did before I got here. Same as you.”

  “Blindsided, eh?”

  “Exactly. Isn’t that enough food?”

  “More than. But Delari is paying for it. So. I am here because of my connection with Charity?”

  “I imagine.”


  “Why are you here? How can you be here? You should be hundreds of miles away, on the road to the Holy Lands. Gervase produced a clever bull proclaiming your Enterprise of Peace and Faith.”

  “For which the Empress is grateful. She thinks it appropriate to respond by backing off of some of her father’s more outrageous territorial claims.”

  “Really? A little of that would do a lot to solidify Gervase’s seat.”

  “I suggested she wait till I get back from the Holy Lands.”

  “Too bad. Gervase hasn’t made many friends. Principaté Delari’s threatened displeasure is the main force keeping the Collegium from trying to remove him.”

  “Really?”

  “I’m sure there are several plots afoot.”

  Hecht looked past Bruglioni to Hourli, who met his eye. She nodded slightly. She would do what needed to be done.

  She nodded again seconds later. What needed doing had begun.

  Hecht said, “Gervase is in a less precarious place than you fear.”

  Bruglioni looked up with troubled eyes. “I worry about you. There’s always something askew.”

  “If you say so. I’ve always done my best for the people I represent.” Bruglioni grunted.

  Muniero Delari asked, “Will you boys stop gossiping and join us? I’m hungry.”

  Hecht had been heads-together with the master of the Bruglioni family longer than could possibly be considered casual. “Of course.” He carried Paludan’s food choices while the man rolled his chair.

  Hecht slid back into his own seat. Only Bruglioni was not eying him.

  Muniero Delari said, “Everyone. Eat.”

  * * *

  Addam Hauf did not press during the meal, nor even during coffee and brandy afterward. The lower half of the table cleared away. Hecht used that time to state his appreciation for Hauf having sheltered Anna and the children during the troubles.

  Delari, though, was intrigued. He asked Hauf, “Will you need my quiet room?”

  “No. My news isn’t confidential.”

  “But forewarned is forearmed?”

  “Yes. Commander, most of this is from Madouc of Hoeles, who used to work for you. He’s in the Holy Lands, now. I think he expected his reports to reach you via Cloven Februaren, whom he seems to think is a sort of supernatural entity.”