Bad Advice

by S M Mala

  ‘Ruby?’ he repeated and grinned.

  Immediately his eyes went to her left hand and noticed there was no wedding ring.

  He smiled brightly.

  ‘Hi, I’m Jonathan but people call me Scottie,’ he said, realising he’d lost his breath for a moment. ‘Jonathan Scott.’

  ‘Ruby Marquis,’ the woman replied, putting her hand out to shake his. ‘Nice to meet you.’

  Scottie knew he was going to have to get this woman into bed, at all costs. It had been months since he got laid and she was the first woman he’d found attractive in ages.

  ‘She works at the Samaritans with me!’ announced Diane proudly.

  Scottie tried to hide his instant disappointment, immediately having second thoughts about his lustful intentions.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ Ruby grinned. ‘I’m not your usual Samaritan. I’m the one who will tell you how it is, which gets me into trouble with the supervisor.’

  ‘She’s been known to tell people, who threaten to take their own lives, to do it,’ scowled Diane before smiling at Ruby who, in turn, burst out laughing.

  ‘I believe in honesty,’ grinned Ruby mischievously. ‘Unfortunately that’s not their mantra and I’ve been continuously on probation or a disciplinary since I started working there. Sometimes I just don’t think they have a good sense of humour.’

  Then she giggled, shrugging her shoulders.

  Scottie was hooked.

  Five

  It was hard to disguise the fact he was very handsome and funny. Several others had joined the group. Scottie seemed to have the ability to charm the pants off everyone. A few women had similar thoughts as herself.

  She wasn’t quite sure if he was giving her the eye, but then she was a little drunk and wouldn’t be able to suss it out if he did. Ruby realised it was probably all wishful thinking on her part.

  Good looking men came with a price. He was probably no different.

  Gulping hard, she knew he wouldn’t be interested in a divorced forty something mother of one. She discreetly walked away, realising she was only going to get shit faced if she stayed longer.

  Then she’d make a fool of herself by trying to chat him up and dismally fail.

  And more than likely, she’d say something dripping in honesty and he’d throw her into the hedges at the back of the garden, walking off in a strop.

  She could see it all so clearly in her head.

  After quickly saying goodbye, she checked her watch and it was after seven.

  She headed off towards the train station to get back to Chiswick, feeling slightly disheartened there was a man she found attractive.

  That hadn’t happened since her ex.

  It hadn’t really happened again since the day she laid eyes on Hugh.

  It was over two years ago since she discovered he was a two timing, son of a bitch.

  An unfaithful husband.

  Shrugging off her disappointment, she concentrated on what she was going to order from the local Indian takeaway.

  ‘Ruby!’ someone shouted out and she turned to see Scottie running up to her.

  It was involuntary.

  Her breathing stopped.

  She was in fact holding her breath.

  Then the palpitation in her heart started.

  There was no doubt it felt like a heart attack.

  ‘Hello? Did I forget something?’ she asked, looking to check for what was missing, discretely gasping for air to hide the fact she was going red. ‘I’m always doing that.’

  ‘You certainly did,’ he smiled, trying to catch his breath. ‘Me.’

  She looked up at the confident smile and twinkle in his eye, realising she didn’t know what to do.

  The woman was out of practice.

  ‘That’s very sweet but I have to go,’ she gulped.

  ‘Is your boyfriend waiting for you?’ Scottie asked, bending down to look into her eyes. ‘I expect you’re with someone. Are you?’

  ‘No,’ she replied and realised he was stunningly good looking.

  ‘Really? That’s good. I mean that’s good for me. Would you like to-.’

  ‘It was really nice to meet you but I’m very recently divorced. I have to get my head around a few things,’ she said in one breath and very quickly. ‘I’m flattered you came chasing behind me. That doesn’t happen too often, if ever, but I’m not the best company. Even my son preferred to go off with his father on holiday for week at Easter than be inflicted with his miserable mother. I ate all his Easter eggs when I was feeling pretty low and had to replace them. Cost me a bloody fortune.’

  Taking the first opportunity, she took in a deep breath then choked a little. Scottie smiled.

  Ruby wanted the ground to swallow her up. She was refusing the first decent offer she had in weeks, months, probably years, if she was being blatantly honest.

  It didn’t take a genius to figure out he’d probably dump her after the first date.

  ‘Well, then it’s your very lucky day,’ laughed out Scottie. ‘I too am divorced. It was a long time ago, so I understand where you’re coming from. I also have a kid, actually two and a step son. Funnily enough, they prefer to be with their mothers than with me. I didn’t eat any chocolate over Easter as I’m trying to be good but I can relate to feeling low from time to time.’

  ‘Mothers?’ she asked, wondering if he was one of those baby fathers she had heard so much about. ‘Are there many?’

  ‘I have a step son from the first marriage when I was young, a daughter from a brief fling and a son from a long term relationship that didn’t work out. When it comes to picking yourself up, I’m your man.’

  Ruby looked at him closely and wondered if he was being genuine.

  Scottie had beautiful lips and a very cheeky grin which hadn’t slipped once since he spoke to her. There was a few days growth on his face but it was all so well packaged.

  And he was fit, both looking and body wise. She could make out some very good arm muscles and tattoos, which wasn’t usually her sort of thing.

  ‘Why’ve you left the party?’ she asked, now unable to stop smiling at his infectious smirk, realising she did want to go out with him but scared she’d cock it all up.

  ‘I didn’t want you to go without having a chat.’

  ‘You want to talk to me?’

  ‘Fancy coming for a drink? Getting something to eat?’

  Letting out a little sigh, she didn’t know what to say. Her heart was beating very fast and she wanted to act as cool as possible. Ruby knew her palms were sweating.

  ‘Shall I give you my number and we can arrange something?’ she asked quietly. ‘I hope when you sober up a little, you don’t think you’ve made a big mistake.’

  ‘Oh no, I certainly won’t think that and I’m not drunk. Fancy coming for a Ruby Murray right now?’

  ‘Just because my name’s Ruby and I’m a woman of ethnic heritage, doesn’t mean I like a curry in cockney rhyming slang,’ she laughed, realising it was the perfect thing to do.

  ‘That’s a ‘yes’ then?’

  Six

  ‘Is this is a good place?’ she asked as they sat down in his local Indian restaurant. ‘I like a good curry.’

  ‘Do you cook them?’ he sighed, trying not to blatantly eye her up and down, wanting to know what she’d look like naked and if her perfectly pouty lips were good at kissing as well as other things.

  ‘Not all the time. We get a delivery from this restaurant on Acton High Street. They do the most amazing onion bhaji and tandoori salmon. Theo loves the curry sauce and can demolish poppadum’s in a matter of seconds.’

  ‘That’s your son?’

  ‘He is,’ Ruby replied and grinned. ‘Aged eight and counting.’

  ‘And you’ve got custody?’

  She nodded for a moment, flicking him a glance.

  Scottie knew she wasn’t going to be that easy to crack but there was something about this exquisite woman he wanted to get to know. It had been a long time si
nce he was gobsmacked by someone.

  It felt both scary and good.

  ‘And we’re going halves,’ Ruby said, sitting back in her chair. He realised she was looking at him, taking it all in. ‘How are you related to Diane?’

  ‘My mother and her mother are sisters,’ he shrugged, grinning. ‘Though her mother has buggered off to live in Madeira leaving me with a surrogate sister.’

  Scottie was trying hard not to smile but he couldn’t help it.

  ‘How old are you?’ she asked.

  ‘Thirty nine.’

  ‘When’s your birthday?’

  ‘You’re into horoscopes?’

  ‘Just want to know when you’re going to turn forty.’

  ‘5th of November so it always goes with a bang.’

  ‘What do you do for a living?’

  ‘Why the inquisition?’ he laughed out, knowing he didn’t want to lie to her about his job.

  ‘I think it’s best to get these bits out of the way,’ Ruby smiled, letting out a big sigh. ‘Sorry, it’s a bad habit, asking questions.’ Then he noticed she went a little red and he thought it was adorable. ‘I’ll let us do the small talk.’

  ‘I work in local government, nothing interesting,’ he half lied. ‘And you?’

  ‘I’m forty two and will be another year older in January. I know Diane from the Samaritans where I volunteer doing a few sessions a week. I work as a writer, an agony aunt they’re called, for a newspaper and several websites.’ Then she burst out laughing. He liked the sexy and dirty sound. ‘I think I’m very good at giving advice. I’ve been accused, due to my honesty, it’s bad advice but I disagree.’

  There was something about her he liked from the very brief conversation.

  He couldn’t figure out what it was other than he was overwhelmingly attracted to her.

  ‘Do you want to skip dinner and come back to mine?’ he asked, even surprising himself, only to see her smile back. ‘Unless you don’t want to?’

  Seven

  As soon as they got to his home, which wasn’t too far from the restaurant, Ruby wondered what was getting into her. She’d held his hand all the way to his front door as they chatted and he constantly grinned.

  If he could have felt her heart, he’d have known how nervous she was, all the while trying to be as casual as possible. At one point she wondered if it was the start of a cardiac arrest and quietly checked her left hand to see if it was going numb.

  The only thing going numb was her brain as well as her cheeks, from smiling too much.

  ‘I don’t usually do this sort of thing,’ Ruby realised she’d have to admit.

  ‘Neither do I.’

  She didn’t want to tell him that, in just over two years, she’d gone out with less than a handful of men. One of them she’d slept with to see how she felt about having sex again.

  That was a complete disaster.

  A ten second disaster if she was blatantly honest.

  After that she vowed herself to a life of miserable chastity courtesy of her own hand and new sex toy she’d got discreetly off the internet shopping site ‘Good Vibration’.

  ‘You’re pretty confident,’ she gulped.

  ‘I like you.’

  ‘You might find me a bit rusty.’

  ‘We’re certainly cutting to the chase!’ he laughed.

  ‘Would you prefer the chase?’ Ruby asked, wondering if this was going a little fast or she had lost practice on how to do the seduction thing. Again her cheeks felt hot. ‘I’m pretty straight to the point, sorry.’

  ‘I like it.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  Her confidence was failing fast.

  He opened his front door. She stepped in.

  Immediately she knew that, if he worked for local government, he was either pilfering money or lying.

  Her good old journalist mind had a way of shifting out the bullshit.

  ‘And you got this on government pay?’ she mumbled.

  ‘I inherited some money from my uncle when he died about twenty years ago. I invested it in property and now this place. Luckily, Diane’s husband is a dab hand at building.’

  ‘Yeah, Larry’s done a few things for me but not like this.’

  ‘And my father owns a builder’s merchants so it all helped.’

  She followed him into the living room which was very modern. He turned on the lights and you could see the decking of the patio leading onto the garden.

  ‘It’s beautiful, like a show home,’ she sighed, quickly glancing around to see if there were any tell-tale signs that someone else lived there. ‘And you live alone?’

  ‘There’s no little woman hiding in the cupboard or man,’ Scottie replied and walked towards a wall in the kitchen that revealed a fridge. ‘Would you like a drink?’

  ‘Have you got a beer?’ Ruby replied, feeling parched. ‘And a glass of water?’

  ‘Sobering up?’

  ‘I’m not drunk. I usually pass out if I am.’

  Quickly she scanned the place, seeing photos and then kiddie drawings on a board.

  On closer inspection, there were signs that children stayed there. She spotted some games consoles. Immediately she recognised the ‘Lego’ cases and grinned.

  ‘Here,’ he said, handing over a bottle of beer.

  She put down her bag on the sofa and tapped the end of the bottle against his.

  ‘We don’t have to do anything,’ said Scottie and she noticed he was blushing. ‘We could just talk?’

  For a moment she thought he looked really cute and grinned at him. He had put Bob Marley on in the background and it was the greatest hits album.

  ‘I love Bob,’ she sighed and watched him glance at her. ‘I know the words to all the songs but I’m not a good singer.’

  ‘I really love reggae music and soul. I’m pleased you like it.’

  Then a thought crossed her mind.

  ‘Are you a rapist or serial killer?’ she asked, watching his mouth drop open before he laughed out loudly. ‘I need to know just in case. I’m really sorry I had to ask. It’s always best to check.’

  ‘You’re very safe with me,’ Scottie replied, shaking his head. ‘And what about you?’

  ‘I’ve still got time to be either one,’ Ruby replied as he smiled. ‘Though I’d never force myself on anyone without their consent but I have thought about killing a few people from time to time.’

  He started to laugh. She knew her mouth and nerves were getting the better of her.

  ‘Your home is beautiful, it really is,’ she said, looking around in awe.

  ‘Thanks.’

  They stood in silence for a moment, just looking at each other, the music filling up the silence.

  ‘Any other time I’m a non-stop chatter box but I’m nervous. Can I ask you lots of questions?’

  ‘Whatever you prefer,’ he replied, taking a swig from his bottle and smiling.

  But for the first time since she could remember, Ruby didn’t know what to ask as she was mesmerised by him.

  Stepping forward and going on her tip toes, she kissed his very soft lips and smiled.

  Scottie grinned back.

  He then moved closer and kissed her, this time pushing his hand through the back of her hair. She felt him slip in a tongue.

  Ruby politely reciprocated. They were in a full on kiss.

  Scottie smelt good and kissed amazingly well, which was making her head spin a little. He pulled away and managed to cradle her face in his hands, with a bottle of beer in one of them.

  It didn’t take a genius to figure out he was used to doing things like this.

  His technique of seduction.

  Whereas she had nothing as sophisticated as that, other than trying not to fart or fanny fart at an inopportune moment.

  ‘What shall we do now?’ he asked, looking straight into her eyes. ‘I know what I’d really like to do.’

  She couldn’t actually swallow for a moment.

  ‘What do you want
to do?’ Ruby replied, knowing exactly what she intended to happen.

  There was no turning back. What better way than to have a casual one night stand with a very gorgeous man.

  It was her time to move forward with her life, once and for all.

  It had been a long time coming.

  She had been a long time coming in more ways than one.

  Eight

  ‘Here’s the bathroom,’ he said, walking her upstairs and opening the door. ‘I’ll see you in there.’

  Scottie pointed to his bedroom.

  All he had tried to do, since kissing her, was to hide his massive hard on. Even the kissing had his head spinning.

  ‘Thanks. I’ll see you in a minute,’ Ruby said and shut the door gently.

  Then he panicked.

  Running into his bedroom, he made sure it was tidy then pulled down the blinds.

  He put on the lights, to give it a dimly lit glow, turning down the covers and checking for his supply of condoms. For a moment he thought he didn’t have any then discovered a larger packet at the back of his drawer.

  ‘Yes!’ he said excitedly, kissing them then pushing the drawer back in.

  Scottie ran down the stairs and got a bottle of wine, two small bottles of water and two glasses.

  Then it hit him.

  He needed to freshen up.

  Quickly glancing over his shoulder, he went to the sink, opened his jeans and sprayed the end of his erect penis.

  ‘Fuck!’ he said, realising it was cold water then wiped it with kitchen roll.

  Accidentally some of the tissue stuck to his end and he didn’t want her to see bits of white paper attached. He washed it again, this time shaking off the drips of water.

  He hesitated, knowing if he put it back into his pants it would look like he wet himself or prematurely ejaculated. This time he got the tea towel, dabbed gently, then shoved it into the washing machine.

  Sniffing his pits, he smelt okay, not too sweaty. There was a waft of aftershave.

  ‘Calm,’ he said, trying to take deep breaths.

  He was very nervous, which was out of character, then put it down to excitement.

  Sprinting back up the stairs with the bottles and glasses, he placed them to the side of his bed and waited for her.