by S M Mala
‘Aren’t you worried?’ asked Edmund as they left the branch together. ‘I’m really scared it’s some mad person who’s trying to track us down.’
Ruby started to laugh.
‘It’s nearly the end of August and there’s been nothing since then. Two murders and one agony aunt who died from a heart attack. I read what’s been said and-.’
‘Diane says your ex-husband is an editor of several newspapers,’ he mumbled.
‘He is but he doesn’t know anything more than we do. And Diane’s cousin is the Assistant Commissioner of Special Crimes, so he would know,’ she said, still recovering from seeing Scottie a week earlier. ‘You have to put it into perspective. How many thousands of people contribute to helplines and charities? It’s got to be more specific and there isn’t anything to link it.’
‘You work for a paper, aren’t you worried? Your advice could get you into trouble. Mick says you only got the job because of who you know and you’re pretty rubbish.’
Ruby looked at Edmund sharply, who now looked embarrassed.
‘Don’t listen to that fucker! That man has bigger tits than Chonika and that’s because he is one!’
‘You know he really wants to work on a paper or website.’
‘I dread to think what he’d write,’ she sniped. ‘He doesn’t listen to what people say. I’m surprised suicide levels haven’t increased!’
‘Ruby, you’re not nice,’ grinned Edmund.
‘My advice is good at the paper,’ she said, smiling brightly at him. ‘But volunteering feels worthwhile.’
Ruby noticed Edmund was grinning.
‘You agree with Mick and think I’m shit at it, don’t you?’
‘I’ve heard you,’ he whispered. ‘Blunt as can be. I will give you credit, you cut to the chase.’
‘You mean I cut out the fluff?’ she laughed. ‘It’s about people taking control of the situation not relying on being spoon fed, don’t you think?’
‘Are you in control of your life?’ he asked gently.
‘Me? Hell no!’
After leaving Edmund at the tube station, she headed past the green and towards the bus stop, getting off at Notting Hill. She went down the road and strolled towards her destination.
As she walked into the busy restaurant, he was sitting, looking at something on his tablet. He hadn’t noticed her.
‘Hello there,’ she said, making him jump as he smiled. ‘You’ve got a free Friday evening and you want to spend some of it with me? Gemma must be impressed.’
‘I said you needed legal advice and she trusts you to slap me if I get frisky,’ Sebastian grinned, standing up and giving her a peck on the cheek. ‘I got a bottle of white, if that’s okay?’
‘Fine by me. Hugh’s got Theo for two nights so I can drink without the accusation of being a lush mother.’
She sat down
‘Last time I saw you was weeks ago at that charity do,’ he said, watching the waiter pour wine. Ruby could see he was nervous and thought it was a little odd. Then she remembered it was his best friend who recently decimated her heart. ‘We didn’t get time to chat.’
‘I know,’ she said, watching him lean forward and frown.
‘But you did see Helen?’
‘I even spoke to her.’
‘I saw,’ he replied, lifting up his glass, grinning. ‘Cheers and thanks for coming.’
‘Thanks for asking,’ she said, realising he was ticking something over. ‘I’ve seen you more in the past few months than I did in the past five years.’
‘I know,’ he replied wistfully. ‘I did want to get in contact. The last time we met for lunch, I was a little surprised about your revelation about Scottie.’
‘You had nothing to worry about,’ she said forcing a smile, feeling mortified. ‘Like I said, it didn’t work out and-.’
‘You said you were in love with him.’
‘You didn’t tell him, did you?’ she gulped, not wanting more humiliation thrown in her face. ‘Please Sebastian, don’t tell me you said anything.’
‘Why not?’ He sat back scowling. ‘Did you tell him?’
‘Oh I did.’ Ruby forced a winning smile. ‘He’s probably the sort of person that goes for the thrill, says what he thinks you need to hear then dumps you.’ The smile dropped as she drank her wine quickly. ‘Why would he want to reel me in with his bullshit? I think he’s very cruel but I didn’t see it.’
‘That’s unfair,’ he said quietly. ‘It might have had something to do with me. After we met for lunch, Scottie came round and I intimated that there was a problem between you and his boss. Next thing I knew, he says he’s split with you. Why didn’t you tell him everything?’
For a moment she gazed out of the window and noticed a loved up couple walking past.
‘He didn’t want to listen. He told me what he thought and left.’ She took a deep breath. ‘I feel pretty stupid and mostly let down. And at my age. I should know better about men treading on your heart.’
‘Why don’t you talk to him?’
‘Last week he pops out of nowhere and tells me he’s ready to talk regarding that bitch. Oh, and did I have any leads on the ‘Samaritan Slayer’ who might not be real. I couldn’t be arsed if that’s what he cares about. Sucking up to her and solving a case. All good for public relations, I suppose.’
She picked up the menu and glanced down at the starters, seeing Sebastian was staring.
‘Only Hugh, Jacinta and you know everything about Trott. What’s the point of digging it all up? I lost and she won, yet again. Soon I’ll have her out of my life for good,’ Ruby mumbled while Sebastian scowled. ‘Don’t look at me like that. You helped that viper all those years ago. That’s why I refused to speak to you for half a decade, but you know that, don’t you?’
‘Someone had to defend her,’ Sebastian replied in an even tone. ‘Not everyone was guilty including Commissioner Trott.’
‘Corrupt senior offices taking bribes from criminals, the press and, goodness knows who else, are not innocent. Institutionalised racism hidden because the abuser pays off the abused is no innocent action. The use of prostitutes, for some recreational fun, on the tax payer’s money! I can’t even do that on expenses.’
‘And all this is because you want to get Helen Trott back? Do you think that’s healthy?’
‘That was a coincidence and don’t believe the spin she puts on it. I’ve heard it all, saying it was my way of seeking some sort of revenge. If I wanted to get her back, I could think of far worse things to do, believe me. I know enough about her. It was Hugh that stopped me from going any deeper.’
‘Don’t get involved with her again. It was five years ago so draw a line under it.’
‘I don’t see Hugh or the others getting a hard time about it. She always points the blame at me and you defended her.’ Ruby took a deep breath trying to control her annoyance. ‘You betrayed our friendship. That’s why I didn’t want to ever speak to you again. You knew Sebastian, more than anyone else, how I felt.’
‘It was a fantastic career opportunity and I had to take it,’ he said, looking agitated. ‘I’m not apologising for it. And you say she doesn’t bother you?’
‘I don’t give a shit about her any more. She got me back in the end, didn’t she?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘She was the one Hugh was fucking in my bedroom,’ hissed Ruby, annoyed at Sebastian. ‘So she didn’t let it go, did she?’
Fifty six
Scottie sat still and listened to what she said, wanting to turn around and defend himself.
But he could see she had a valid point.
That made it harder for him to think how he could make her change her mind.
Ruby didn’t sound angry, just hurt and he felt bad.
Then he was startled at what she said about her husband as something smashed behind him. He immediately turned.
‘He did what?’ Sebastian said loudly. ‘Ruby!’
Scottie had b
een hiding around the corner. Then he noticed Ruby did a double take.
‘What’s he doing here?’ she said furiously then stood up. ‘Thanks for another betrayal!’
‘God Ruby, please sit down!’ Sebastian said, looking shocked.
‘Tell him to go,’ she said, throwing herself onto the seat. ‘Did she send you to spy on me to see if I’ve broken the agreement? I’m surprised she’s not on her way here unless she’s hiding around the corner.’
‘Did you say what I thought you said?’ Sebastian mumbled, slightly confused. ‘He slept with the Commissioner?’
Scottie noticed she turned her head so as not to look at him. Sebastian stared at her then darted a glance at him.
‘Sit down,’ he said to Scottie gently, who took the chair next to them.
He wanted to touch her but she looked angry and upset.
‘I didn’t set you up. He wanted to see you. I wanted to help, but god,’ Sebastian said quietly. ‘How many people know about what happened with Hugh and Trott?’
She didn’t say anything and stayed motionless.
‘Ruby, I didn’t mean to startle you. I’ll go if you want,’ Scottie said softly. ‘Please don’t get upset.’
Slowly she turned around and gave them the filthiest look, which was priceless. Picking up her glass of wine, she partially buried her face in it, taking a sip.
‘Can we get another glass?’ Sebastian asked as the waiter finished clearing up the broken one. ‘You let him do that to you?’
She sighed tiredly then stared straight back at Sebastian.
‘He did it on his own. I don’t know how long it had been going on for.’
‘Oh my word,’ Sebastian said, putting his face in his hands.
For a moment, she turned to Scottie. He could see she looked devastated.
‘You can’t tell anyone you know about this. Are you telling me Sebastian, you had no idea?’
‘I’m so sorry Ruby that’s just awful. He’s really a fucker, your ex.’
‘Tell me about it and he thinks we can have a reconciliation, one day. He has no bloody idea,’ she said, turning to Scottie. ’Why are you here?’
‘He wanted to come and see you to make amends,’ sighed Sebastian, shaking his head, deep in thought.
‘There’s no amends to be made. I expect you eavesdropped everything?’ Ruby replied tiredly. ‘And now you know the set up. You were right to call it a day on our stupid little fling.’
‘It wasn’t a stupid little fling,’ he replied and noticed Sebastian shake his head from side to side.
Ruby stood up.
‘I don’t feel sociable right now,’ she said quietly. ‘Sorry.’
‘Don’t go,’ Scottie gulped, looking up at her.
‘I thought I’d turned a corner. And I was really happy for the first time in ages when I thought I’d been given a second chance with you. I wondered if she’d told you to do it to me, like a game.’
‘It wasn’t a game for me,’ replied Scottie. ‘No one told me to do anything. I thought at the time-.’
‘You thought you’d use, then dump me because, hey, the fact you work for Trott made it easier.’
‘That’s not fair,’ interrupted Sebastian. ‘I told him about the investigation and your involvement. I could see it would compromise his position. Scottie thought he was doing the right thing.’
‘He did the right thing.’
‘I just want to talk,’ Scottie said quietly.
‘Talk to me?’ She let out a half-heartedly laugh. ‘What’s the point? Like I said, you looked me in the eyes and told me the truth. There’s nothing more to say.’
Slowly she turned and walked out of the restaurant, shaking her head from side to side, hailing a cab.
Within seconds she was gone.
‘She’s right, this isn’t a direction you want to go in,’ Sebastian said, staring at his hands. ‘I thought the feud had stopped but obviously, Trott had other ideas.’
‘What the hell’s going on? This is getting more confusing by the second. Helen Trott was sleeping with her husband? How out of the blue is that?’
‘There’s more to it. If Trott finds out that you even sniffed the same air as Ruby, there’s going to be trouble. Do you want that?’
Scottie only knew one thing.
He wanted Ruby.
Fifty seven
She sat in her blacked out living room stunned on seeing Scottie and telling them about Hugh.
It was something she never wanted to talk about.
Finding her husband in bed with Helen Trott. It was still very raw. The betrayal by the man she thought loved her.
The surprise discovery still hurt. Knowing she had now inadvertently told Scottie and Sebastian made her embarrassment more pronounced.
Sebastian’s face probably conveyed the true horror she was feeling and it pained her to admit how shoddy the whole thing had been. Helen Trott indeed had the last laugh by having sex with her husband in a distasteful manner.
Then there was the surprise of seeing Scottie.
Her heart had twisted while her humiliation took over. All she felt was anger and betrayal but mostly the feeling of being unloved.
That hurt her the most.
Her love had been rejected, once again, by a man who didn’t really care.
Another batch of lies from someone she thought she could trust with her heart.
Wiping away her stray tears, she looked at her phone and got the shock of seeing a number she recognised then read the message.
‘Talk to me.’
It was Scottie and now she knew she couldn’t even do that. Ruby didn’t know what he wanted and wondered if he felt guilty for leading her on.
Or he was just interested in what his boss did so he could probably be the new Commissioner.
‘Fuckers,’ she mumbled, drinking her glass of wine.
But the messages weren’t stopping and every fifteen minutes there would be a text saying the same thing again and again until two hours later it changed.
‘Talk to me. I really want to see you. I made a mistake.’
It continued until midnight when they stopped.
She figured out he’d fallen asleep or had contracted RSI in his thumb.
Fifty eight
He texted her again and again, one after the other, knowing he had no intention of stopping until she acknowledged him.
Scottie was hoping his message would sink in and she’d at least make contact.
There was nothing.
So he changed his tactic until, by midnight, he realised she wasn’t going to call.
And he wanted to ring her but knew she wouldn’t pick up the phone.
It was his last hope as he composed the message.
There was only one thing he could say, in complete honesty.
‘I love you.’
And he sent it again and again then he got a reply.
‘Please stop. Enough of these games.’
He felt sick, realising she wasn’t listening, wondering if she still cared.
Scottie decided to ring her.
It went straight to voice mail.
‘Talk to me, tell me how it is,’ he said quietly. ‘I said I didn’t feel the same way about you. I was lying. I didn’t know what else to say. I knew about the promotion and then I didn’t give you a chance to explain. God, Ruby, I’ve missed you so much and I made a genuine, stupid mistake. I know I’ve hurt you but I want to talk. I want you to talk to me, tell me how it is.’ Scottie hesitated for a moment. ‘I love you and I need you right now. Please?’
Eventually he slept, feeling like shit, after there was no reply or acknowledgement.
He was startled by his buzzer echoing in the house, realising it was after half one in the morning. Feeling deflated and upset after checking his messages again, Scottie got up.
She hadn’t replied.
Pulling on some boxers, he ran down the stairs and checked the security cameras, holding his breath as he opene
d the door.
Ruby was standing there.
It felt as if his heart was stuck in this throat as she stepped inside.
‘Stop sending me texts,’ she mumbled.
‘Okay,’ he nodded, knowing that was a lie.
‘And don’t ever tell me you love me again or I’ll walk away. The last man who told me he loved me, well I found him in bed with your boss the following day.’
‘I won’t do that to you.’
‘And do you always answer the door, in the middle of the night, semi naked?’
‘I try to.’
‘What do you want from me? You can’t suddenly be interested after how you finished it. I told you so much about how he hurt me and you did the same thing. I-.’
‘I didn’t do the same and don’t compare me to him. Ruby, I know what I said was wrong and I wasn’t thinking straight. If you’d have realised how hard it was for me. I hated seeing you cry and had to go. I thought in my head it’d be over. But it wasn’t for me, far from it.’
He watched her shake her head and focus on the floor for a moment.
‘I am desperately and utterly in love with you,’ he whispered. ‘I didn’t want to fall in love but I did. Then I thought I could switch it off but I can’t. I won’t ever let you down again. Please give me another chance, that’s all I ask for.’ He grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest. ‘Feel my heart. Can’t you see I’m telling you the truth?’
Scottie was overwhelmed by his feelings after his admission and gently touched her face, cradling it in his palms, leaning in to sniff her skin. He closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, she was looking up at him. Slowly he bent down and rested his forehead against hers as she sank into his arms.
It was Ruby who moved closer to his face, her lips travelling all over his skin as he closed his eyes again. Then he felt her lips touch his. She opened her mouth and kissed him.
Scottie melted into her, wrapping his arms around her back and scooped her up, not wanting to let go. Her mouth was so soft and his immediate reaction was to cry. Their tongues met and he forgot about his sudden turmoil.
‘It’s late,’ he whispered. ‘Come to bed.’
He lifted her up as she wrapped her legs around his back and held onto his neck, unable to pull his lips away from hers