Discovery

by Douglas E Roff

  “Like the song …”

  “Like the song.”

  “You’re a terrible liar, Edward Adam but a sweet liar. And my liar. So, I forgive you for being so wonderful by lying so poorly.”

  “I gotta go.”

  “I know. But one more thing. And don’t take this all wrong and be mad at me.”

  “I won’t.”

  “Edward Adam St. James. I love you. There I said it. Now go.”

  “Mary Elizabeth McQueen, I know. And I love you too. Don’t take that wrong either, little Princess.”

  “Edward?”

  “Yes Bethy?”

  “Did you really call me a bitch back at the Park?”

  “No, I didn’t. I said being mean to you would make you bitchy. Big difference. Everyone knows you’re a big sweetheart. Sleep tight …”

  “Edward?”

  “Yes, Princess?”

  “Kiss me goodnight. Please. I won’t tell, unless you want me to.”

  “One kiss, then I gotta go. And just between us girls. You have a rep, you know.”

  “One good night kiss then. You’re my Prince.”

  ***

  Edward and Fred returned home and as he said he would, Edward went straight to bed. Fred spoke to Emma in the kitchen, where all important conversations took place in their home and, for that matter, all across America. Fred explained the entire situation from the beginning through last night. He hoped, he said to his wife, that she wouldn’t be terribly angry with either him or their son and apologized for not telling her about the arrangement beforehand.

  “We all keep our little secrets, I suppose Frederick. You’re allowed to have yours and so is Edward. It was probably best not to tell me, otherwise a horrible tragedy might not have been avoided. You know how I feel about fighting and conflict. But, God does work in mysterious ways and I feel His presence is this, though I do not myself approve.”

  “We have a good boy.” Fred spoke gently to his very tough Iowan wife in his most sincere tone.

  “We do indeed have a good boy, who will undoubtedly do great things. But first we’ve got to get this right with the police and his school. No school is going to suspend my boy. He should be given a medal instead.”

  “I don’t think they will, though.”

  “Probably not.”

  Chapter 42

  As predicted, the police did indeed show up at both the farm and the house on Tropicana. Fred, speaking for his son, who was, after all, a minor, explained the entire episode all the way back to how and why they had gotten involved with the McQueens. He offered up a copy of the audio tape and handed over the switchblade. When they were done, the police said they were satisfied with the entirety of the narrative, although they noted that the fairy tale coming out of the other kid, insofar as he could speak with a wired jaw, was somewhat contradictory.

  The audio tape, and evidence in the form of the knife, was positive supporting evidence for Edward but without any other witnesses and a defense attorney’s perspective on the lack of corroboration, they didn’t feel that any charges were likely to be filed against anyone. They would speak to the McQueens again and to the kid, Jesse, and his parents but the police felt little could be done.

  “I can’t say this to you officially, of course. We don’t condone public fighting and disorderly conduct, but it is a fact that we have seen Jesse Carter in the system many times before. He has had his run ins with the law, all of which are sealed, of course, and we think it’s very probable we will see him again as an adult. His buddies are just like this piece of work, so I would be careful in the future. These guys can get rough and they can be meaner than a rattle snake. Just be careful.”

  He started to walk away, then turned back. By the way, are you the Edward St. James?”

  Edward, who had remained silent as a church mouse, said “I am Edward St. James. I don’t know about the ‘the’, though.”

  The cop said, “Do you know Billy Thompson?”

  “Of course. A friend of mine from the U. We work out in the morning together; good kid, tough as … well let’s just say he is one tough kid. Why do you ask?”

  “He’s my son. Said to say hello. The boys at the gym want to uh, pay their respects to you when you’re back. You’re something of a celebrity now. Get used to it, this story’s gonna have legs of its own. The whole town will be buzzing. You and your girl are heroes, my friend.”

  “Doesn’t feel that way right now.”

  “Don’t worry, give it some time.” The cop tipped his hat to Emma, shook both Fred and Edward’s hands, and then departed.

  “One down”, was all Emma said. “And one to go. Should we confront the school today?” Emma was pumped and spittin’ piss, as the old saying goes. She wanted this over, and quick. She wanted her boy back out of the limelight fast, as was God’s will.

  Fred and Edward told her ‘no’ in unison, instead hoping the matter would never come up. Edward wanted his anonymity back and Fred was ready for calm in the family to again reign supreme.

  None got their wish.

  ***

  Edward did keep his date with Bethy the next day and for many other weeks and months thereafter. Everything had changed for them, as they were no longer the teens they had been before these events happened on that single solitary day.

  Oddly, as it often is with teens, neither was fully accepted back in their old groups as before, though Edward did seem to come out of his shell more, encouraged by Bethy. And Bethy became even more studious, hanging out only with Edward and dropping out of most of her social activities, including cheerleading. The worst of her former girlfriends acted as though Bethy had brought this on herself, and the boys she had hung out with no longer had time for her. Truth be told, Bethy simply didn’t care. Her life had tacked behind a different wind and she was unashamed to admit that her life had become so much quieter and so much better. Bethy was happy.

  As the school year rapidly approached its end and Edward and Bethy began making summer plans, Mr. and Mrs. McQueen sat Bethy down for a talk. There would be some changes coming next year, and those would include changes for her too. They were very sorry to have to tell her in this way, but the family was moving from Iowa City back to Boston. Their home was already listed and, on the market, and Mrs. McQueen had been assured by their realtor that it would sell quickly – at the exceptional listing price and likely within a matter of weeks. Then thirty days to closing, then they would be in Boston in time for baseball, the Tall Ships and fireworks. They were so sorry to uproot her from her senior year. But what Mr. McQueen really meant was that he was sorry for taking her away from Edward, the never was, but always would be boyfriend.

  Bethy didn’t respond well, nor did Edward when he found out that night. Bethy had family standing to complain, and complain she did, loudly and often. She screamed and cursed, made oaths and threats, explained how this move would ruin her life. How could they?

  Janie said she had been offered a better job at Boston University, and she was bound and determined to take it. Dr. Janie had worked hard for this opportunity and she wasn’t going to let it slip – just because of her daughter’s infatuation with a boy. Someday you will understand this, she counseled her daughter, maybe just not right now. The matter was closed. Closed.

  Mr. McQueen wanted no part of the mother-daughter tussle. He knew his wife was right, at least about the opportunity to advance her blossoming career. But he had been a teenager once and remembered more clearly what that meant. His daughter was in love with a boy, a good boy. He understood the pain his daughter would experience.

  It was more than that for him though. Addison had truly come to enjoy the presence of Edward around their household and the two often worked out together now, Edward the teacher, Addison the student. His “Kung Fu” was coming along nicely, he told his daughter. Addison didn’t have a son and had rarely thought much about it. He had a daughter who was terrific in every way, he tho
ught. But there was something about having a son around that he didn’t so much miss as he just knew nothing about. Edward filled up that space for him, the orphan boy adopted late by the St. James couple.

  Janie claimed privately to be worried about Bethy, Edward and premarital sex but Addison said calmly that that ship had sailed long ago. So, what was really bothering her, he asked?

  “I don’t want any teenage marriages for all the wrong reasons. Really, Addison, can you possibly be that dense?”

  Addison wasn’t being dense, he thought but his daughter was happy with her life, her school and her family. She was no longer sullen and moody and thought more about ‘family’ than ever before. She talked to him. Often. She even did things with her parents, so long as Edward was invited, which he always was. Let her be happy, for God’s sake he thought. She’ll be grown up, move away and be well into her career before she knows it. Surely, we can give her this one last year of high school?

  Janie would have none of it and became emotionally as hard as a turtle’s shell. Her mind was made up, and she ordered a moving van for July 1. Bethy had two months to make her peace with Edward, then she would be gone.

  If Addison thought Bethy took the news hard, he had no idea how difficult the news had become for Edward. Lost and a somewhat lonely kid before Bethy, the consequences of Janie’s decision were tragic and devastating for him – as much as any emotional drama is for a teen.

  Always a bit of a loner, he had just begun to think that there was more to life than church, exercise and academic study. Then there was the secret world in which not all his buddies had to be guys and that girls were a great Blessing from God. Edward was happy, and each and every day he began his day thinking of Bethy, and each night he ended his thoughts the same way. He stopped thinking about life five years from now and started thinking of life five minutes from now. Her impact on his overall confidence and emotional wellbeing had been enormous. It was quick and pervasive, like lightening in a bottle.

  Bethy and Edward railed, protested, wailed, complained and plotted. To no avail. On July 1, the moving van arrived and on that same day Bethy McQueen departed Iowa City in her parents’ new car, never to return to Iowa. She cried for weeks and explained in scrupulous detail exactly why she hated her mother.

  In the end, things settled down, Bethy finished high school and began her coursework at Boston University. Free tuition for children of faculty. She rarely saw her Mom and their relationship was never whole again. Bethy had moved on. But Bethy was always a little sad after that, something noticed by her father and ignored by her mother.

  Edward had always dreamed of moving west, attending the storied UCLA and traveling the world discovering new ancient civilizations. He received his BS, Masters and Ph.D. form UCLA. Bethy studied Political Science and became interested in International Studies. She received her BA and Masters from BU, and eventually her Ph.D. from Georgetown. In due course, she met the son of a wealthy diplomat, fell in love, got married and had two kids.

  She never spoke to Edward after he moved west, though they were constant companions by phone all through their senior year. They made promises and commitments they knew they could never keep, and after being apart, eventually gave up on the dream.

  When they thought back to that time and all the happiness they had felt, they each rationalized that they had just been kids, teens. Life could not be, would not be, as easy as it seemed to them at the age of seventeen. Happiness would have to come after all the hard work and pain was behind them. Happiness was a process they told themselves and there was much process ahead of them.

  Separately, as most journeys that later intersect are.

  When they were in their thirties and realized they had been so totally wrong, they were each saddened. Saddened by the choices they made, saddened by the choices made for them, and saddened by the circumstances they didn’t, or couldn’t, control.

  Bethy knew she still loved Edward and hoped he still thought of her often.

  Edward, still began each day as he had that spring of his senior year, thinking each morning of Bethy and closing each night the same way. He hoped she hadn’t forgotten him.

  He loved her still.

  Chapter 43

  “Edward Adam St. James, why won’t you come out for my Prom? It’s not that far away, and I know your Mom will approve. She likes me.”

  “Likes you! Wow, that’s the understatement of the year. She wants to trade me in for you, Bethy. Right this instant, no questions asked. I know she likes you Bethy, and yes, she would approve. And she would want to come, along with Papa to chaperone. That sounds like a blast.”

  “We can ditch them. I know how. Then we must find some time. For us. Please, you stubborn old mule, please come out for my Prom.”

  “I can’t.” Adam was weak in his resolve but knew more about why than Bethy did. He hoped she wouldn’t press him but knew she would. Then he’d have to come clean. About the real reason why.

  “Are you mad at me, Bethy? You’re awfully quiet. Don’t be mad. I hate it when you’re mad at me. It makes me feel very lonely.”

  “It does?” Bethy knew that Edward was tougher than he sounded, just not around her. She always treaded a little lighter around him than she normally would with a boy. She really liked Edward. She loved him too.

  “Yes, as a matter of fact, it does. I’m such a wuss for telling you that but I cannot stand it when you, Mary Elizabeth McQueen, homecoming Queen, most popular girl in school and my best friend, are mad at me. I get all anxious. So there. I hope you’re happy now.”

  “I am you big dunderhead. And not. Am I really your best friend?” Bethy loved hearing what Edward would tell her. He could be dense and clumsy with his words, but he was always sweet to her.

  “You know you are. I tell you everything and trust you with all my secrets, you know.”

  “I know. I do.” Beth paused. “You know you can say it. Say it out loud to me if you want. It’s just us on this call, and we can both keep a secret. You know all of mine and you better not tell!” Bethy laughed her signature laugh, filled with joy and delight, and something else. Something Edward, Eddie, was becoming conscious of but was only now dimly aware. He was thick that way, and always would be.

  “Say what? What do you mean, Bethy?”

  “It’s OK for you to say ‘I love you’ to me. I know you do you big lunkhead, so just admit it.” The phone was silent, with Eddie petrified on his end.

  Beth continued, “Alright then, if you’re going to make me do all the work, I’ll go first. But boy Eddie, I’m going to make you pay for this when I see you. A lot. Ready?”

  “I guess.”

  Eddie didn’t know what was coming, only what he hoped he might hear. He had no courage himself, and like every adventure he and Bethy had ever had together in their small town in the last year or so, the idea for adventure was always Bethy’s. Eddie missed his Bethy so badly sometimes, he thought he would die. But he didn’t, and he gradually came to accept that Bethy was in Boston now and he was still in Iowa.

  “You guess? You better be ready mister ‘cause here it comes. I love you, Edward Adam St. James. I love you. You’re the only boy I ever think about, all day long. And then for a little while after I go to bed while I …”

  “Bethy! No stories like that. I’ll get all, well you know how I’ll get. Is that what you want?” Edward was shocked but nowhere near as much as he pretended. Bethy enjoyed his innocent act but knew what he wanted too. Edward wasn’t that innocent.

  “Well, silly, yes, it is. And I want to see it too. But I can’t because you won’t come out to Boston for my Prom. Please come out. Please, please, please. Pretty please. Mom and Dad will pay. You can sleep in the basement. I’ll sneak down, and we can get all … you know.”

  “I can’t come Bethy. I’m sorry. You should forget about me and find someone handsome and smart and more like you. But a guy.”

  “You’ll forget me, won�
��t you? You’re going to forget all about me, like I never knew you and I was never there. I hate you!” The phone was silent for a bit but neither hung up.

  Eddie spoke, “No, you don’t Bethy. And I do love you and I love you so much that I wish I could be there with you, but I can’t. Please try to understand. I just can’t be there.”

  “But you love me still, right. I’m still your secret girl, your favorite?”

  “No secret. Always have, always will. Some things change, and some things never do. This is one that will always be, until the very end of time. In some fourteen billion years or so from now. It’s a fact”

  Bethy laughed, “You’re such a nerd. How will you ever find another girlfriend? I understand you Eddie, and I love you. And I love you exactly the way you are. Will you ever forget me? Promise you won’t.”

  “Remember that picture that Jamie Adams took of us at school that day just before Spring break?”

  “Not the one with us sticking our tongues out at each other?”

  “No, goofball, the one with you behind me, with your arms around me, and I was looking back, smiling at you. We were close and all you can see is your head on my shoulder, with your arms around me looking happy and pretty. That one.”

  “Of course. You keep it in your wallet.”

  “You were wearing a black tank top and some old jeans; you were on your way to practice. Jamie wanted a pic of ‘Beauty and the Beast’ for the yearbook.”

  “You were on your way to … let me guess, the library.”

  “No, I wasn’t. I used to sneak in the gym and watch you practice with the other girls. Creepy to think about now, but I did.”

  “My first stalker. I’m aroused. Do continue.”

  “Nice. Well, anyway, just so you know that I miss you and miss you a lot, in those days I just wanted to be with you, all the time you know. I felt … God I felt so good, all the time. So happy and so miserable, all at the same time. If you touched me, or held my hand, it was like electricity running all through my body and ending up …”