Primitivo

by Croft, Rose

  She consumed me. I exhaled deep while my hips thrust into her mouth. Watching in satisfaction seeing my dream girl suck me off. Waiting for the guilt to overtake me again, like it had the last few times we were together. However, that moment never came. My body was sated, my thoughts scrambled, but there was no guilt or shame.

  And then… I pulled her to me and kissed her like she was my forever girl.

  Sofía

  I held him tight and eased the hardness in his taut muscles. I knew he didn’t trust me. He was fighting what we had, and it was like a potential bad recipe for what we were trying to do now, but I couldn’t stop this ride if I tried.

  I heard a door slam, and Eric yell from a distance.

  I shifted. Emilio held me back.

  “They’re back.”

  “He’s with Yovani, Sofí. He’s all right.” His hand traced circles over my back. Emilio had no worries in the least like the world could be in mayhem, but if he said relax, then everything would be fine.

  I nestled myself into his shoulder. “What are we doing?”

  “Laying here. Imma ’bout to go for round two. You ready?”

  He bent over and kissed me.

  I felt like I was living in my dream world. We kissed and ran our hands over each other lingering in bed as the late afternoon sun peeking through the curtains highlighted our skin. With each kiss, my body molded into his, and his erection came to life jabbing against my thigh. Suddenly, loud banging reverberated through the room.

  “Emilio!” a loud male voice boomed.

  “Ah, fuck no!” He growled and kissed me long and hard before he rolled over the side of the bed and pulled out some shorts from the dresser. “Stay here.”

  Eric’s voice called out over the obnoxious knocking. “Papá! Tío’s here.”

  Emilio adjusted his shorts and took a glance at me before he stalked to the door and unlocked it. He joked playfully with Eric, and I knew he was keeping him occupied. I could hear Emilio say something to Vince, I think, because of the way they bantered back and forth sarcastically with each other.

  I didn’t know what to do. Stay here? Take a shower?

  Deciding the latter, I rummaged through my bag and pulled out some clothes. I had no idea what was going on with Emilio and the asshole who people called Vince.

  I took a shower and thought about Emilio and Eric. This whole weekend had been a fantasy. If this was all for naught, I didn’t know how I’d ever be a casual friend or a semester intern who never saw Eric again. I was in too deep.

  I didn’t know how I’d ever let Emilio go. I dried off and put on some shorts and a T-shirt. I combed my fingers through my hair and reapplied some makeup. I marched to the door and paused. You can do this, Sofí! Go ahead and take that walk of shame. I twisted the handle and passed through the door down the hallway to the living room where Emilio, Yovani, Vince, Eric, and Dani with her little girl were all congregating around the sofa.

  Vince glanced up and raked his eyes disdainfully over me. “Oh, now it makes sense why you forgot about us going out to the park today.”

  Emilio shook his head and came toward me, looking every ounce apologetic. “Sofía, you remember my brother Vince, his wife, Dani, and their daughter, Teresa.”

  “Hi.” Regardless, how awkward I felt, I smiled and waved, putting on a brave front because what else was I supposed to do? Vince had no problem at all demonstrating how low of an opinion he had of me in his demeanor. Homeboy never minced words with his feelings. Feelings? Did that man have feelings? Dani seemed kind and approached me and shook my hand. “It’s nice to see you again.” She seemed the complete opposite of Emilio’s brother who obviously hated my guts. How did she put up with him?

  Teresa was in her arms. If there was the perfect baby (besides Eric) that was model beautiful, it would be this little girl who had tawny curls and wide innocent happy eyes with a beautiful mixture of both her parents. She reached out to me and said, “Hi.”

  “Hi!” I extended my hand and clasped her wayward hand in mine. Soon, Eric was at my feet.

  He had one hand around my leg and was reaching up to his cousin. “Can I hold my prima?” he asked like he was personally responsible for her.

  Dani bent down in front of him. “Of course, baby.” She had an easy-going southern lilt to her words that captivated you and made you feel comforted.

  She held out Teresa to Eric, and my baby boy was so careful and enclosed his arms around her and spoke like a grown-up to her cooing soothing words like an adult, and Teresa stared up at him like she was fascinated by everything he said. I wanted to cry tears of joy and relish this beautiful moment seeing my son who was so caring and protective of his cousin. I glanced at Dani who was smiling and had a hand close as Eric held on tightly. “He’s a good boy, right?” She eyed me with her eyes crinkled.

  I, too, had a hand close by, and Dani made me want to pull her aside and tell her all of my secrets. “He’s the best,” I said and ran my hand over Eric’s dark hair. I could’ve broken down and cried if I analyzed how grateful I was to spend this time with my son. Then, I had to question whether or not Dani knew I was Eric’s mother. She probably did but didn’t look at me as though I were Mommy Dearest. She didn’t seem judgmental.

  “She’s beautiful.” I stooped down beside Dani and had my hand behind Teresa in case Eric couldn’t hold her.

  “Thank you.” Dani smiled easily and there was no fakeness in her mannerisms. “She’s a handful, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

  I nodded and realized I was hovered over Eric and Teresa so close. Afraid Eric was going to drop her. Soon, Teresa struggled against him and Eric strained to lower her to the ground. Dani’s hand was right behind me, but she didn’t try to overtake the situation. She was giving me her trust. I didn’t have relationships with other women. The only other meaningful relationship besides my mother was the one between Belinda and I. Which was as dysfunctional as a 2.0 version of a Jerry Springer episode.

  “Are we going to the park or what?” Vince came over and laid a hand on Dani’s shoulder. His face softened when he looked at his wife who now held her daughter’s hand as she stood. She smiled a guileless smile, and it was like the heavens opened and it was hard not to feel the optimism around us. She was the lion tamer, or should I say tamed this male shrew in front of us. That alone was a feat in itself.

  “Let’s go to the park!” Eric had no qualms about voicing his opinion. He wrapped an arm around me. “Don’t you want to go, Sofí?”

  I pulled him against me and kissed his dimpled cheek. “Of course.” I glanced up and saw Emilio watching us like he was proud. I could pretend at least I did something right in my life.

  “I need to shower,” Emilio said.

  “I bet you do,” Yovani added as he stood up from the couch and stretched.

  “Shut up. Fu—Fudge stick. You’re one to talk.” Emilio passed by and tapped my hip. “I’ll be right back. You okay?” His eyes were filled with concern.

  “I’m fine.”

  He winked and said, “Come on, Eric, let’s take a shower because I’m sure your Tío Yovani didn’t make you take one earlier.”

  Yovani just shrugged and smirked, not bothered in the least, while Eric trotted behind Emilio to his room. I felt a sense of panic being left with his family. Talk about being a stray outsider.

  Luckily, Vince rounded the couch with his baby girl in his arms and sat down and started giving Yovani shit. I went to the kitchen and tried to make myself busy and cleaned the dishes we’d left in the sink.

  “Can I help?” Dani approached.

  “I can do it.” I turned on the water and rinsed a plate.

  She lingered next to me, and I felt very self-conscious wondering what she was thinking about this situation. Later, the doorbell rang and then the front door opened before anyone could get there. “Hello?” I recognized Emilio’ sister, Lily as she crossed over in front of her brothers and greeted them and plucked Teresa from her brother
’s arms.

  She bounced Teresa against her, making a funny face and asked, “Where’s Mommy?”

  Teresa giggled at her and repeated, “Mama!”

  “In here,” Dani called out beside me. Oh God, I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. I couldn’t forget how Lily stared at me in shock the other night at the carnival.

  “Hey, sis.” Lily smiled at Dani, but when she saw me, she pulled up short. “What’s she doing here?” Her lips drew into a flat line.

  “We’re going to the park,” Dani filled in smoothly.

  “I know, but why is she here?” Lily tilted her head to the side and her eyes were narrowed at me. “Do you know who she is?”

  Teresa’s forehead scrunched up like she might cry, and Lily softened her face and bounced her again, cooing until she calmed.

  “Yes. I know,” Dani said softly. She eyed me with some sense of kindness. What did she know?

  “I’m sorry.” I dried my hands off on the dishtowel. “You all were obviously going on a planned family outing. I don’t need to go.”

  “What’s going on?” Emilio was freshly showered in a shirt and shorts. His hair was still wet but styled back. Dani mumbled that she was going to check Teresa’s diaper before we left and slipped out of the kitchen.

  “You tell me?” Lily said in a low voice, but loud enough for me to hear. “Why is she here?”

  “Because I want her here, and to keep her safe.”

  Her jaw dropped. “You’re joking, right? After what she did…”

  “Enough, Lily. I’m not going to discuss this right now.” Emilio glanced at me before he turned as Eric ran into the kitchen and called out, “Tía!” He bear-hugged Lily. I couldn’t help the sinking feeling in my stomach. Everything seemed like a one step forward two steps back struggle to make progress.

  Emilio

  “You are fucking her, aren’t you?” Vince asked as we sat at one of the picnic tables at the park. I knew this would come up when we were alone. I watched Sofí kicking the soccer ball with Eric while Dani and Lily were on a blanket playing with Teresa nearby.

  “What’s your point?”

  “No point made. Just wondering how you could ever get back with her after what happened.”

  “You don’t know the whole story.”

  “Well, my ass is sitting here… seems like you have some extra time on your hands.” Vince took a drink from his bottled water.

  “It’s fucked up.” I dropped my head. “Her father is the head of ES-22, serving life in prison in El Salvador. My guess is her mother was killed by her uncle who took in Sofía and her brother when they were young. Not to mention, her uncle tried to rape her when she was thirteen. She killed him in self-defense, and she and her brother fled the country to come here.”

  “Damn, that is fucked up. I thought we had it bad.”

  “I know.”

  Vince adjusted his sunglasses. “I get that she had a screwed-up childhood, so why would she leave everything she had.” He didn’t need to elaborate.

  “She said she did it to protect Eric. Her cousin found her and threatened her. You know how those motherfuckers are? Once you’re in it, you’re in it until death. She was saving Eric’s life.” I recounted what she’d told me.

  “Going to the police would’ve been a good option.”

  I scowled at my brother. “You damn well know better than I what happens when you think you’re behind the eight-ball and don’t have options. Did we ever go to the police when we were in it?”

  “No,” I answered for him. We were knee-deep in pig shit with Rafael for years, and we thought when we were successful we’d be out of it. However, when you dealt with people like drug cartels or ES-22, your debt was never paid off. The only way to kill a snake was to cut off its head. In many ways, Los Malos was worse because they were much more savage and rudimentary about how they handled their “business.” They didn’t care about looking like suave businessmen like many drug lords did as they handled their dirty side behind their backs. Los Malos did it in your face and would rape, kill, or steal and if one guy went down, well there were several others, waiting in line to step up. Next man up mentality. And many of them were kids in middle school or high school. Desperate to be included in a clique. Except this clique murdered people.

  “What now? You two gonna get back together and play house?”

  “Really? You’re judging me?” I wanted to pound my fist in my brother’s face. This was why I didn’t want to talk about this ordeal with him in the first place. By the way, my brother was one to talk. “Do I need to remind you what the fuck you did?” This subject was like a bad info commercial that played every five minutes. We’d already gone over this issue. To death.

  “If you’re referring to my wife, no.” He watched Dani with a possessiveness I strangely understood and ran a finger over his lips. “I’m not judging you, hermano, believe it or not, I care. I don’t want you or Eric to get hurt. I’m concerned for your well-being, so excuse me for watching out for your best interest.”

  I watched Sofía as she grasped up Eric who’d gone past her with the ball and swung him around in the air. They were both laughing and damn if my heart didn’t pulse quicker seeing them together. “I’m fine. I know what I’m doing.”

  “I hope so,” Vince said.

  My eyes scanned the parking lot next to us, and for some reason, I was drawn to a tricked-up black Mustang GTO sitting off in the corner. The car stuck out like a sore thumb amidst the SUVs, sedans, and soccer mom vans. “What the hell?”

  I heard the loud rev of an engine and thumping sound of music erupt from the car and soon it was creeping through the parking lot closer. The dark-tinted window from the passenger side lowered, and I saw the tattooed face of one of those fuckers from that night at the club.

  Everything seemed to play out in slow motion. I jumped up. Sofía turned her head and her eyes widened with Eric at her side. I ran toward her. Then, I saw an object thrust out the window. Sofía dropped to the ground with Eric in her arms, shielding him with her body. I expected to hear gunshots and take stinging hits to my body as I dove at Sofí.

  However, I only heard laughing from the distance as I saw the asshole in the car exhale over his pointed index finger. “¡Ya sabemos!” (We know). I heard them shout throwing up signs. The car made a doughnut and sped off.

  My blood boiled. The old me would’ve made a beeline to my car and chased those assholes down. The responsible dad who had his son and everyone who was important in his life was checking to make sure no one was hurt. I was also scared and hated the feeling my loved ones were left exposed like sitting ducks. We were at an upscale park where respectable families hung out. Vince was already over at Dani, Lily, and Teresa’s side with arms securely around them. He glanced up at me. “We going after them?” His response was automatic, like we were young punks again who didn’t take shit off anyone.

  “Yeah.” I hovered over Sofía and Eric. She was hugging Eric firmly against her. Whatever Vince thought about this situation, if there was a threat against our family, he was always down to help me.

  “Emilio… don’t do this,” Sofía warned completely shaken and kissing Eric on the temple. Eric’s little hands were clamped on her shoulders, and he clearly didn’t understand what was going on.

  I closed my eyes trying to regain some semblance of calmness. “They can’t get away with this shit.”

  Eric was so shaken he didn’t call me out when I cursed. I caressed his cheek.

  “I can’t… lose you,” Sofí whispered as tears trailed down her face.

  “You won’t, baby.” I was running on adrenaline and leaned in kissing away her tears, not caring who saw me being intimate with her. If I had doubts about where her loyalty lay, they evaporated quickly. She’d willingly shielded our son with her body, not thinking twice.

  Did I want to start World War III? Not particularly, and I knew Adrian was already doing everything legally he could. Unfortunately, following ever
ything by the book was a time-consuming process, and there was no doubt we were being targeted.

  “Motherfucker!” I slammed my fist into the drywall in the foyer of her condo. What was one more sign of damage to a place that had been desecrated? Furniture upturned and destroyed, the flat-screen TV was cracked and hanging by a thread on the wall, tilting pathetically, and there was spray paint all over the walls. Gang graffiti and threats.

  When we left the park, Vince and Dani took Eric, and I foolishly dragged Sofía with me to her place as if I needed confirmation. It wasn’t that much of a surprise to me, but my fears were more than confirmed. I called the police and reported a break-in.

  So, we waited as the officers came by and ran prints, took pictures, and questioned Sofí and me for what seemed like hours. Sofía gave them the address of Tito’s house.

  “Do you have a place to stay tonight?” one of the officers asked.

  “She’s staying with me,” I replied.

  It was late when we finally made it to my brother’s. Dani was awake and my cousin Adrian was there, too. Homeboy was always in the know, and we needed his counsel. Looking at Vince’s tense demeanor, I could tell he was just as restless as me. We’d grown up fighting for everything we had and if someone threatened us, well, we couldn’t let it go. That wasn’t in our DNA.

  “Eric?” Sofía’s face was filled with worry.

  “He’s fine. He’s sleeping,” Vince said with a controlled calmness he’d mastered over the years. He had his arm around Dani as he eyed me speculatively. “What happened?” My brother knew something was up because I texted and said we’d be delayed for a couple of hours.

  “They tore up the place and left their signature, as usual.” I exhaled in frustration. “I’d estimate at least a hundred thousand in damages.” Our shit was insured, but it was still a pain in the ass to replace and fix everything. Not to mention, Sofía could’ve been killed if she’d been there. “They’re investigating and will get back to us as soon as they find out anything.”