Already Gone

by Kristen Proby

  This is not at all how I pictured tonight going.

  “Did you know them?” I ask.

  “Not well,” he admits. “I’ve been to their house before on similar calls. The guy was a douche. But I couldn’t save her, and that weighs on me. You know?”

  “Of course, it does. Did they have kids?”

  “Thank God, they didn’t,” he says with a deep sigh. “Listen, babe, I’m going to take a shower and go to bed. I’m exhausted, and it looks like tomorrow’s going to be a busy one.”

  “Okay. I love you.”

  “Love you, too. Have a good show tomorrow night.”

  And with that, he’s gone, and I’m sitting under a mountain of guilt and anger.

  19

  ~ Tucker ~

  “She’s not coming, is she?”

  “I’m sorry, Chlo.” I wrap my arm around her shoulders. Chloe doesn’t let me hug her often, so when she doesn’t immediately pull away, I tighten my grip and relish the moment.

  “It’s okay.” Chloe shrugs and looks at me. “I understand. It’s her job.”

  Damn. I wish I were that nonchalant about it. I’m still pissed. It sounds unreasonable for me to be mad at Scarlett, even to my own ears, but I am. I want her here with us, and a small part of me can’t help but wonder if this is how it’s always going to be. Missed birthdays, holidays, school programs, and dinners. Will Chloe and I forever come second to Scarlett’s career? And what happens if we have our own kid someday? I’m not sure if I can raise another baby on my own.

  I guess part of me hoped that since Chloe and I are part of Scarlett’s life now, that she would decide to fit us in more. Maybe I was too quick to hope for that grand of a gesture. Or perhaps we just don’t mean as much to her as she says we do.

  “Dad?”

  I shake my head, determined to shelve all thoughts about my situation with Scarlett until after the party. Today is Chloe’s day, and I want to focus all of my attention on her. I want this day to be unforgettable, and I’ll do whatever I have to do to make that happen.

  “Yeah?”

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m good. I’m really proud of you, Chlo.”

  “For what?”

  “For being mature about this. I know how bad you wanted Scarlett to be here.”

  “I guess I’m just finally growing up.”

  “Not too fast, okay? I’d like to keep you little for a bit longer.”

  “Sorry, Dad, no can do. I’m almost a woman.”

  I groan. “Lord, help me.”

  Chloe laughs. “Come on. I’m ready for my party.”

  Chloe thinks that we’re going early so that she can be there to greet all of her friends. Little does she know that everyone is already there waiting for her. The party wasn’t a surprise, but the greeting is going to be.

  Mom just texted me that the last kid showed up. Dean, Rick, and Scooter are there with the puppy, which means we need to hit the road.

  As long as I don’t have to break up any fights, catch any kids kissing in the corner, or save anyone from drowning, tonight will be a success.

  “Let’s do it.”

  As soon as we walk around the corner, all thirty-five of Chloe’s friends and our family jump to their feet and yell, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

  Chloe stumbles back, a hand to her chest. She smiles from ear to ear and looks from me to her friends, back to me, and then over to her friends again before running toward them with a high-pitched squeal.

  “Did you see her face?” Scooter walks toward me, holding his phone up for me to see the picture he took. “That was priceless. Good job, Dad.”

  “Will you send that to me?”

  Scooter does something on his phone and then looks up. “Done.”

  Dean joins us, and I look over at where Chloe is stripping off her clothes down to her swimming suit. I make sure she’s out of earshot. and then I ask, “Where’s the puppy?”

  “The little hellion is in the pool house with one of the lifeguards,” he says, looking down at the teeth marks on the toes of his Chuck T’s. “They’re going to keep the she-devil until you’re ready to give her to Chloe.”

  Of course, I picked out the ornery puppy. “I’ll buy you a new pair.”

  “Damn right, you will. Those were my favorites.”

  “Heya, Tucker,” Rick says, walking toward us.

  “Hey, Rick. You’re looking better every time I see you.”

  He puffs up his chest and smiles. “Thanks. I’m feeling pretty darn good. How’s Scarlett?”

  I feel my smile start to slip at the mention of her name. “I don’t know. I haven’t talked to her since late last night.”

  She was supposed to call this morning, but that didn’t happen.

  “Yeah.” Rick frowns and shakes his head. “She told me she couldn’t make it. I know she would be here if she could.”

  I wish I were as sure about that as he is. “I know.”

  “Cannonball!”

  We all turn in time to see one of the boys in Chloe’s class cannonball off the diving board. He splashes all of the girls in the process, causing them to giggle.

  “Hold this.” Scooter hands me his phone and pulls his shirt over his head.

  “What’re you doing?”

  “I’m gonna show that punk how it’s done.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  “Yes, I am.”

  “He’s twelve.”

  “So am I—at heart.”

  “This is gonna be great,” Dean says, pulling his phone out and getting ready to record the disaster that’s about to happen.

  “Go, Scooter!” Chloe yells, tossing her arms into the air. She’s floating on a tube in the middle of the pool with Jenny and a few of her other friends surrounding her.

  Scooter looks at the boy who just jumped, points to him, and says, “Watch and see how it’s done, son.”

  “Oh, Lord.” I roll my eyes.

  He climbs onto the diving board, waves to Chloe, and then takes off running. When he gets to the end of the board, he goes to jump, but his foot slips, and he flies through the air and smacks the water face-first.

  The entire place starts laughing.

  “Please tell me you got that,” I say to Dean.

  “Every glorious second.”

  Instinctively, I turn to find Scarlett, to see if she saw, only to remember that she’s not here.

  Damn it. She should be here, enjoying this, and I can’t decide if I’m still upset that she’s not, or if I feel sorry for her that she’s missing it. We’re all laughing and carrying on at a party she worked her ass off to put together, and she’s at work, missing all the fun.

  I pull my phone from my pocket and send her the photo of Chloe that Scooter sent to me, along with a simple text.

  Wish you were here.

  I haven’t heard from her all day. I thought for sure she would call Chloe this morning to say “happy birthday,” or at least send her a text, but she’s been completely silent, and I don’t know how I feel about that. Has she been busy? If so, what has she been doing? It kills me that we’re this far apart, and I know absolutely nothing about her day.

  Over the next hour and a half, I send her at least another dozen photos. Everything from pictures of Chloe and her friends to Scooter making an obscene gesture, and even a photo of Rick sitting on the edge of the pool with his feet dangling in the water.

  She doesn’t reply to any of them.

  Not one.

  This is ridiculous. I can’t believe I’m spending Chloe’s party staring at my phone, waiting on Scarlett. Chloe deserves better than that from me on her birthday, and I deserve better than that, too.

  Determined to enjoy the rest of the party without being attached to my phone, I shove it into the pile with Dean’s and Scooter’s clothes. That way, I can’t check my phone every ten minutes without it looking like I’m ogling their underwear, and Scooter would never let me live something like that down.

  �
�Daddy?”

  “Yes, sweetheart.”

  “Can I open my presents now?”

  I look around. All of the kids have eaten, and the caterers have cleared out. “I don’t see why not.”

  “Yes!” She fist-pumps the air, then rounds her friends up and digs in. She gets gift cards from most of the boys in her class, and a variety of perfume, clothes, and makeup from the girls.

  When she gets to Scooter’s present, she tears into it and frowns. “A dog bowl?”

  Scooter smiles proudly. “You’re welcome.”

  “Thank you?” She grabs Dean’s present and rips it open. She pulls off the top to the box and pulls out a dog leash, dog treats, and a tennis ball. “Uncle Dean, what’s all of this for?”

  “Ask your dad, kiddo.”

  She turns to me, eyebrows raised. I signal the lifeguard in the pool house, and she opens the door. Chloe gasps when a tiny ball of fur comes barreling out. The puppy I picked up this morning stumbles twice as she runs across the concrete but gets back up each time. Chloe runs after her and scoops her up.

  “Oh. My. Gosh. He’s perfect.”

  “He’s actually a she.”

  “She’s perfect,” Chloe coos, cuddling the wiggly body to her chest. “But I thought you said I couldn’t have a dog.”

  “Because I wanted it to be a surprise. You’re old enough now, and it’s time.”

  With the puppy clutched to her chest, Chloe hugs me. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. This is the best birthday present ever. I promise I’ll be the best dog mom ever, and I’ll train her.”

  “You’ll also be pooper-scooping the yard, taking her out at night, and making sure she stays groomed.”

  “Yes, yes, and yes. This is amazing, Dad. You’re the best.”

  “Love you, Chlo.” I kiss the side of her head and then release her so she can show her new puppy off to her friends.

  Everyone crowds around, oohing and ahhing over the newest member of our family.

  “You did good, son,” Dad says, patting my back.

  “Thanks, Dad. I can’t believe how fast she’s growing up.”

  Mom steps up to my other side. “Just wait, one of these days, you’ll be standing here with Chloe, watching your grandson or granddaughter the way we’re watching her.”

  I smile at my mom and then look at Dad. They’re so happy, in love, and content just being here, spending time with their family. That’s what I want with Scarlett. When I picture my future, I see the three of us living in the country. Maybe another kid with Scarlett’s brown hair, my eyes, and Chloe’s smile. I want evenings spent on the porch, watching the sun go down, and Sunday dinners with Rick. But we can’t have any of that if Scarlett isn’t here.

  She should be here, enjoying the moment and making memories. Instead, she’s on stage somewhere, entertaining tens of thousands of fans.

  “We’re going to go, sweetheart,” Mom says, pulling me down so she can kiss my cheek. “Tell Scarlett we said hello.”

  “I will.” I hug her and then Dad. “Thanks for coming.”

  I walk them out and then come back to finish cleaning up. The kids all jump back into the pool, determined to enjoy every last second before it’s time to go. Scooter and Dean step in to help me clean, while Rick corrals the puppy.

  I pile my arms full of trash and carry it to the garbage can. Voices from the bathhouse catch my attention.

  “Can you believe her?” a girl says in a snotty voice. “What a joke.”

  I dump the trash in the can and scoot a little closer.

  “I know,” another girl says. “How pathetic? Can you believe she actually told people that Scarlett Kincaid was going to be here?”

  The girls laugh, and then I hear another voice. “I overheard her tell a group of people that Scarlett and her dad are dating. No way. If I were her, I’d be embarrassed to show my face in front of my friends.”

  “You know it’s frowned upon to stalk young girls, right?”

  I elbow Scooter in the stomach and then pull him to the side. “I’m not stalking the girls. I’m eavesdropping.”

  “On what? Fifth-grade gossip?”

  “They were talking shit about Chloe.”

  “Bitches,” he hisses dramatically.

  Damn it. I hate this shit. Girls are so mean these days. “What do I do?”

  “You’re asking me for advice?”

  “You’re right. I should talk to Dean.”

  “Wait.” He stops me with a hand to my shoulder. “You want my honest opinion?”

  “Yes.”

  Scooter turns to look at Chloe, and I follow his gaze. She’s splashing around with Jenny and a few other girls, laughing and playing.

  “You’ve raised one hell of a girl, Tuck.”

  “She is pretty great, isn’t she?”

  “She’s more than great. She’s funny, smart, and kind. You did that, Tuck. You raised that awesome girl, and you should be damn proud. I think you should give yourself a pat on the back. You managed to raise an excellent human being all on your own.”

  “Not completely on my own. I have you, Dean, and my parents.”

  “But you did most of the work. She’s an awesome person, and while I know you probably want to march in there and give those girls a piece of your mind for bad-mouthing your little girl, I think you should thank your lucky stars that she’s not one of them.”

  He’s right. “When did you get so deep?”

  He shrugs a shoulder. “I have my moments.”

  “Thanks, Scooter.”

  “Anytime, brother. Now, let’s go finish cleaning up. I’ve got a hot date tonight with one of the moms.”

  “Why does that not surprise me?”

  “Daisy is finally asleep.” Chloe drops down on the couch beside me.

  “You named her?”

  “She looks like a Daisy. Uncle Dean said I should’ve named her Cruella.”

  I laugh and shake my head. “I think Daisy is perfect.”

  “Thanks again for today, it was wonderful.”

  “You’ll have to thank Scarlett. She did ninety-nine percent of the work.”

  Chloe frowns. “I’m really bummed she couldn’t be here.”

  “I know you are. I think Scarlett would’ve been here if she could’ve made it work.”

  “When will she be home?”

  “I honestly don’t know, Chlo.”

  “Can I text her from my phone and say thank you?”

  “I think that would be really nice.”

  Chloe gets up and walks toward the kitchen, but turns around when I call out to her, “Chloe?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m really proud of you. You’re blossoming into a wonderful person, and I’ve really enjoyed watching you grow.”

  “You mean, I’m blossoming into a wonderful woman?”

  “Don’t push it. You’re still my little girl.”

  She laughs. “Thanks, Dad. I love you.”

  “Love you, too, Chloe.”

  What a day. I close my eyes and drop my head against the couch. I must have dozed off because I wake up sometime later to the shrill sound of my phone ringing. I rub my eyes and look at the clock. It’s almost two o’clock in the morning. Who would be calling at this time of night?

  I grab my phone and see Scarlett’s name flash across the screen. The part of me that misses her like crazy is dying to answer the call and hear her voice. The other part of me, the one that came to a stark realization tonight, hesitates. But I can’t not answer, that isn’t fair to her.

  I slide my finger across the screen and answer the call. “Hello?”

  “It’s so good to hear your voice,” Scarlett says, sounding out of breath. “I wasn’t sure if you’d answer.”

  “I’ll always answer. You, on the other hand…”

  “Wait, are you mad at me?”

  “Not mad. Frustrated. Did you even check your phone today?”

  “I was busy,” she fires back.

  “Too b
usy to send Chloe a happy birthday text, or check in and see how the party was going? Or hell, even to say hi?”

  There’s a long pause. I prepare myself for the fight and am caught off guard when she apologizes.

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Today was an absolute shitshow. I had interview after interview. I went from one studio to the next, and then to Madison Square Garden. Before I knew it, I was on stage.”

  “It’s two o’clock in the morning.”

  “I know. The fans were going crazy, and it felt so good to be up there, Tuck. They kept chanting for more, and I had to give them what they wanted.”

  “What about what I want?”

  “Huh?”

  “Me, Scarlett. Do you ever think about what I want? Do you even know what I want?” I ask, continuing without giving her a chance to respond. “I just want you…here. I want you here with me and Chloe. I want to wake up to your beautiful face every morning and kiss your sweet lips every night when we go to bed. I want holidays and family reunions, and Christmas concerts. I want a kid with your hair, my eyes, and Chloe’s smile.”

  “Tucker—”

  “You were right, we should’ve talked about this in Nashville because I see now that what I want and what you want are two totally different things. I want laughter and memories, Scarlett. And you want bright lights and screaming fans. Do you even want kids?”

  “Don’t throw that on me.”

  “Do you even want me?”

  “Of course, I want you.”

  “Good, because I know that I sure as hell want you. You’re it for me, Scarlett. When are you coming home?”

  “I don’t know. Tomorrow is a travel day because I have a concert on Monday, and then I fly to Austin and then Denver for interviews that had to be rescheduled and—”

  “See, this is what I don’t want. I can’t live my life wondering where you’re at each night, and when you’re coming home.”

  “What do you want me to do, Tucker? This is my job.”

  “I know it is, and I thought I could do this. I thought I could share you with your fans. But, damn it, Scarlett, I don’t know if I can.”

  “What do you want from me? Tell me what you want me to do.”

  “I want you to choose me.”