Already Gone

by Kristen Proby

  She licks some ketchup off her finger.

  “Chlo, whether or not I’m able to clean this mess up, and your dad and I get back together again, I want you to know that I love you very much. And I’ll always be your friend, no matter what.”

  “I know.” God, is it this easy for kids? “We’re cool, Scar. But if you and Dad do get back together and get married, I could call you Mom. You know…maybe someday.”

  I blink at the sudden onslaught of emotion caught in my chest.

  “I mean, sure. If you want to.”

  She smiles happily. “Awesome. You’ve been so good for Dad. He smiles so much more since you’ve been home, and he laughs a lot. He didn’t always do that. I think he was just stressed out because I’m a handful.”

  I bark out a laugh and sip my shake. “I don’t think you’re a handful.”

  “Oh, I am.” She nods wisely. “And he has a pretty important job. People here really respect him.”

  “I know.”

  And I was pushing to tear him away from all of this.

  I’m a selfish person.

  “But you make him happy. And you’re nice to me, not just because you have to be to impress my dad, but because you like me.”

  “I like you very much.”

  “I like you, too.” She smiles as her phone pings again. “Geez, Dad, calm down.”

  “Maybe we should get you home.”

  “Yeah, you’d think I’d been abducted by a serial killer. He’s so lame.”

  I laugh again. She was just singing his praises, and now he’s lame. I guess that’s how it goes when you’re a kid.

  I ask for a box for all of our uneaten food, pay the tab, and we set off for home. When I pull into the driveway, I see Dad on the porch.

  “Hey, Chloe,” he says when we step out of the car. He looks at me with a grim nod. “Why don’t you come hang out with me for a while so Scarlett can go chat with your dad?”

  “Cool,” Chloe says.

  “Go share some of that food with Rick,” I say with a smile. “But save some fries for me.”

  “Okay,” she says as she hurries up to the house and they disappear inside. I walk over to Tuck’s and knock on the door.

  “Where’s Chloe?” he asks when he opens the door.

  “She’s with my dad, eating my lunch.”

  He nods. “Okay, just send her over when she’s done.”

  “Hey, Tuck, I’d like to chat with you, if that’s okay.”

  “Now she wants to chat,” he mutters as he steps back, letting me inside. “It’s about damn time because I’ve had half of the town filling me in on what you’re doing, and I’m at a complete loss.”

  I frown. “Damn small towns.”

  He just watches me with hurt eyes, and I know without a doubt that I have to fix this. Right now.

  “So, I came up with a plan.” I have to pace his living room. I can’t stand still. “After we spoke last week, I was just so sad, so heartsick. Because I don’t want to be without you, Tuck. I just love you and Chloe so much, I figured there has to be a way to work it out. And then Dad’s house started crumbling around me, and I was like…you need a new house.”

  “Rick’s house is crumbling?”

  “Let me get this out.”

  Tucker holds up his hands in surrender, and I keep going.

  “So, I thought, what if I build a house here in New Hope? Because I love it here so much, and I didn’t know how much I missed it until I was back again. And if I build a house, I could build Dad a guest house on the property. And if I’m gonna do all that, I might as well build Lexi and Jason a house, too.”

  “That’s a lot of houses.”

  I give him the stink-eye, and he stops talking, but the corners of his lips turn up, which is encouraging.

  “I couldn’t just march over here and say, ‘never mind everything I said the other day. I’ll move home, and we’ll be together.’”

  “Why? That actually sounds really good. I would’ve liked that a lot.”

  “Because they’re just words, Tuck. I’ve made you too many promises that I had to break. Words don’t mean anything. Actions do. So, I decided to build the house, and show you that I’m serious about planting roots in New Hope. I know we’ll still have to work out how touring works, and all of the other craziness that is my career, but I can be based out of South Carolina. There’s no rule that says I have to live in Nashville if I’m a country star.”

  “You do realize that the house can take up to two years to be built?” he says. “So, were you going to just wait around for two years to fill me in on your plan?”

  “I hadn’t gotten that far yet,” I confess and bite my lip. “I mean, probably not, because I really miss you and I think about you every second of every day, but I had to have something in place to prove to you that I’m willing to do my part to bend to make this work. I can compromise. I love you, Tuck. I don’t want to just throw that away.”

  Finally, finally, he sweeps me up in his arms and kisses me like his life depends on it. And for the first time in weeks, the knot in my belly loosens.

  “I’ve been a wreck,” he confesses when he comes up for air. “I almost beat the shit out of Dawson because I thought he took you out on a date.”

  “What? No, I’m not dating him. He’s going to build the houses.”

  “I know that now. It was just making me crazy that you were planning to move here but not be in my life. How was I supposed to see you all the time and not touch you? Not love you?”

  “So, my plan had holes.”

  “A few, yeah.”

  “Chloe knows,” I confess with a smile.

  “My own daughter was in on the plan?”

  “Only as of about an hour ago,” I reply. “And she’s kind of excited at the thought of decorating her own room. If you forgive me, that is.”

  “I thought the kissing thing kind of implied that I forgave you.”

  I cup his face in my hands. “I love you, Tucker Andrews.”

  “I love you, even though you make me crazy. Being married to you won’t be boring.”

  I freeze. “Married?”

  “Oh, babe. If you think I’m not putting a rock on that finger, you’re the crazy one. You’re mine, from now until the end of time. And, frankly, I don’t give two fucks if we live in New Hope or Nashville, as long as we’re together.”

  “We might be living in both places from time to time.”

  “We’ll figure it out,” he says, his mouth hovering over mine. “It’s all about compromise, you know?”

  Epilogue

  ~ Tucker ~

  “Hey, Tucker, how are you?”

  “I’m good, how are you, Dave?” I say to the stage manager as he strides by.

  “As good as I can be. It’s going to be a long few days.”

  “You wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  We’re kicking off the Home Again tour. Five cities and five concerts over the next five days.

  “You’re right.” He laughs and keeps walking.

  It’s taken us almost three years to work out a routine, but Scarlett, Chloe, and I have finally found a groove that works. As promised, Scarlett has limited her tours to summers only, and Chloe goes with her from start to finish. I’m not quite as lucky due to my work schedule, but I’ve been able to work it out where I spend the majority of the summer with them. When I do have to go home to New Hope to work a few shifts, we hire extra staff to make sure there’s always someone watching over Chloe, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. She loves being on tour with Scarlett.

  From August until May, Scarlett is home in New Hope with us. She has to leave from time to time for interviews or TV appearances, but she’s never gone for longer than a few days, and sometimes, we go with her. Lexi and her kids have even gone with Scarlett a couple of times.

  I’m on cloud nine. When Scarlett and I got back together three years ago, I didn’t think that life could get much better, and then she married m
e, and I was proven wrong. Life got more than better. I pinch myself every morning as a reminder that I’m not dreaming. I’ve got a beautiful, talented wife, a wonderful, smart daughter, and a career that I love. Sure, life gets hectic from time to time, but with my girls by my side, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  “Hey, Chloe. Where’s your mom?”

  “In her dressing room, why?”

  “Larry needs her to come down to the stage so he can fit her harness.” Scarlett is still using a harness and zip line to fly across the stage as part of a stunt during her show. She does it at every concert, and her fans love it.

  I kiss Chloe’s head and keep walking down the long corridor to Scarlett’s dressing room. I knock twice and walk in.

  “I could’ve been naked,” she says, perched on a stool in front of her vanity.

  “You know better than to leave the door unlocked if you’re naked.”

  “I love it when you get all possessive.” She giggles and pulls me down for a kiss.

  My hands slide down her sides as I deepen the embrace and then remember that I came in here for a reason. If we don’t stop now, I’m going to have her stripped naked and my cock buried in her tight body. Then she’ll be late for the show, and it’ll be my fault, and we don’t need a mess like that again.

  Scarlett pouts when I pull away from her. “I wasn’t done.”

  “I promise that I’ll ravish every inch of you tonight, but right now, Larry needs you down at the stage so he can fit you for the harness.”

  “Oh.” Her lips part, and then she shrugs a shoulder. “I, uh, I’m not going to need the harness for this tour.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’m not doing the stunt.”

  “But you always do the stunt. Your fans expect it, and it’s something that you love to do.”

  She nods and bites her bottom lip. “You’re right, I do love it, but my doctor said it isn’t safe for me to do anymore now that I’m…pregnant.”

  “Your doctor—wait. What did you say?”

  “I’m pregnant.”

  “You’re pregnant?”

  Scarlett nods.

  “I’m going to be a father again?”

  “Pretty sure that’s how it works.”

  I pull Scarlett into my arms and cup her face. “You’re pregnant with my baby,” I whisper against her lips, trying desperately not to cry.

  “I found out this morning.”

  “How far along are you?”

  “Eight weeks. I don’t really want to tell anyone until we hit the twelve-week mark, if that’s okay.”

  “That’s more than okay.”

  Scarlett squeals when I lift her up and twirl her around.

  “You have made me the happiest man in the world. And Chloe is going to be so excited.”

  “I can’t wait to tell her. She’s going to be the best big sister.”

  “And you’re going to be the best mom.” I kiss Scarlett, deeply and passionately before dropping to my knees.

  I pull her shirt up and press my lips to her belly. Scarlett slides her fingers into my hair, holding me against her.

  “I can’t believe this is happening. I’ve dreamed of this moment so much over the last few years.”

  “Believe it, babe. In roughly thirty-two weeks, we’ll be the parents of a beautiful baby girl or boy.”

  Thirty-one and a half weeks later

  “I hate you.” Scarlett’s face contorts in pain as she grips my hand with a strength I didn’t know she was capable of. “You did this to me.”

  “You’re doing great, sweetheart. You’re almost there.”

  The pregnancy went relatively smooth. Scarlett had some morning sickness early on, but other than that, she had an uneventful pregnancy. The delivery, on the other hand, hasn’t been quite so easy.

  We’re going on eighteen hours of labor, and I’m not sure how much more my girl can take. She looks absolutely exhausted, but I refuse to let her give up. She can yell, curse me, call me every name in the book, and I’ll stay right by her side and get her through this.

  “Almost there? I’m trying to push a watermelon out of my vagina!” she yells between the contractions.

  “I need another big push from you, Scarlett,” Dr. Halpert says from her spot between my wife’s legs.

  I look down and see the top of our baby’s head along with a tuft of black hair, and already, my heart is swollen with so much love I want to burst.

  “Baby, I can see her head. She has a thick mop of dark hair.”

  “It’s not a sheeeeeeee,” Scarlett moans as the wave on the monitor goes higher and higher. “It’s a he. Oh, God, this hurts. It hurts so bad, Tuck, make it stop. Please, make it stop. I promise I’ll do anything, just get me out of here.”

  “We’re not going anywhere without our baby.”

  We opted not to find out what we’re having. I said from day one that I think it’s a girl, and Scarlett swears it’s a boy. Chloe doesn’t care what it is.

  Dr. Halpert watches the monitor and prepares for the next big contraction. “Here we go, Scarlett. Same thing you’ve been doing for me. Bear down and give me a big push. Now, Scarlett. Push. Push. Push.”

  I hold Scarlett’s foot, helping keep her knee raised while my other hand stays clenched in hers.

  She grits her teeth, bears down, and a deep growl rips from her chest.

  “Yes, baby, yes! Keep going, she’s almost here.”

  Scarlett sucks in a quick breath and bears down once more. This time, the head slides out, followed by a slimy body. I do a quick scan.

  Ten fingers.

  Ten toes.

  One penis.

  A penis.

  My baby has a penis.

  “It’s a boy!” I announce, turning to my beautiful wife. “Oh, Scarlett, you gave me the most perfect little boy.”

  The doctor hands our sweet boy to Scarlett, and she cradles his tiny body to her chest. He’s screaming, and she’s sobbing, and now I’m crying.

  “He’s beautiful.”

  “Just like you.” I kiss her sweaty forehead and lean down to get a better look at our son. “He has your nose.”

  “And your lips.”

  “And your dark hair.”

  “He looks just like Chloe!” she says, laughing while crying. “Will you go get Chloe? I want her here with us.”

  I nod toward the nurse. She told me earlier that she’d go get Chloe from the waiting room as soon as we gave her the okay. Scarlett offered for Chloe to be in here for the delivery, but she politely declined. “There are just some things I’m not ready to see,” our daughter said.

  Another nurse walks up and reaches for the baby. “Scarlett, we’re going to take the baby just for a few minutes, and then we’ll hand him right back, and you can feed him.”

  “Okay.”

  I stay by Scarlett’s side and watch them clean our little guy up. He finally stops fussing, and I swear he looks at me from across the room. I probably look like a giant blob because his eyesight is shit right now, but all I can do is stare back at him. He’s so—

  “He’s perfect,” Chloe croons, stealing the words right out of my head as she rushes into the room. She hugs me and then goes straight for her mom.

  If you didn’t know any better, you’d swear that Scarlett is Chloe’s biological mother. She treats her as though she’s her own, and I couldn’t be more grateful for that. It takes a special kind of woman to take on someone else’s child, and Scarlett is the very best kind of extraordinary.

  “Have you picked out a name yet?”

  Scarlett and I shake our heads.

  “We’re torn between two names. I like Daniel, and your dad likes Aaron.”

  Chloe walks across the room where our baby boy is lying on the table, fussing. The nurses are doing whatever it is they do, and Chloe sticks an arm through the action and touches her brother’s hand. He instantly grips onto her finger and stops screaming.

  “I think he looks like a
Lucas.”

  “Lucas,” Scarlett breathes, looking up at me. “I like it.”

  “Me, too.”

  “Let’s do it.”

  “Hi, Lucas.” Chloe smiles and rubs a finger over his tiny knuckles. “My name is Chloe, and I’m going to be the best big sister. I’ve always wanted a little brother, and I know I’m a lot older than you, but I promise I’ll always be here for you.”

  I can’t help it, I break down and bawl like a baby, and Scarlett reaches for my hand.

  “They’re perfect together, Tuck. We have two perfect kids.”

  “We’re all done, who wants him first?” the nurse says, picking up our son. He’s swaddled in a blanket, and I look at Scarlett, who looks at Chloe.

  Scarlett has had a lot of concerns about how Chloe would feel after the birth of our baby. It’s important to her that Chloe doesn’t feel left out or as though we love him more. Chloe assures us that she’s fine and just excited for the baby, but I know it weighs heavily on Scarlett’s mind.

  “Do you want to hold him first, Chloe?” Scarlett asks.

  Chloe’s eyes widen. They brim with tears and happiness. “Really?”

  Scarlett nods. “Go ahead.”

  Chloe situates herself on the bed beside Scarlett, and the nurse gently places Lucas into her arms. With an arm around Chloe’s shoulder, Scarlett coos at our baby boy, and all I can do is stare at my family in awe.

  “I love you, Chloe,” Scarlett says, brushing a strand of hair from Chloe’s forehead. “You will always be my firstborn. My sweet baby girl, even though you weren’t so little when you came into my life.”

  “And I wasn’t very sweet,” Chloe says, smiling.

  “You’ve always been sweet, and I love you very much. You know that, right?”

  “I know,” Chloe whispers. “I love you, too.”

  Scarlett wipes a tear from her cheek and reaches for my hand. “Come on, Daddy, come meet your son.”

  It seems like so long since Chloe was a baby. She’s so big now, and Lucas is so tiny.

  I cuddle in close to my wife and two children.

  “Look,” Chloe says, laughing. “I think he’s smiling.”

  “It could be gas. You used to make that face right before you loaded your pants.”