Addicted To Him

by Monica Murphy

  Not one word.

  I sit there alone in my car, my mouth hanging open, the silence deafening. What just happened? I glance over my shoulder to see him walking back the way we came. Where is he going?

  Climbing out of the car, I call to him. “What are you doing?”

  “Going back to the school,” he yells. His steps are determined. Fast. He is getting farther and farther away from me.

  We’re easily a solid ten miles away from his high school. Maybe more. “You’re actually going to walk there?”

  He turns so he’s walking backwards, stretching his arms out. “Looks like it.”

  I say nothing. He flips around and continues on, his head hanging down a little bit. A car approaches, passing by us with a gust that rattles my teeth, and without thought—my usual behavior when I’m around Eli—I start to chase after him.

  “Why did you abandon me on the side of the road?” I ask him as I draw closer.

  “Why do you not believe me when I’m trying to tell you the truth?” he tosses over his shoulder.

  My steps falter, and I almost trip over a tiny rock. “What are you talking about?”

  He turns and starts heading toward me, his steps sure, his expression…

  Oh shit. He’s furious.

  Eli stops directly in front of me. I take a step back, a little afraid of him.

  Afraid of his reaction to what I just said. I used to believe I was a confrontational person, but not compared to Eli. I’m downright meek and mild, while he confronts me on a continuous basis.

  “I tell you I haven’t had actual sex with Cami because it’s fucking true, Ava. I haven’t. Why would I lie to you? To save your feelings? Give me a break. I’m about as real with you as I fucking get. So don’t sit there in your pretty little car and let me drive it like you’re such a nice person and then accuse me of things I haven’t done. If you don’t believe me, then we don’t need to spend time together anymore. You can find your own way home. And I’m thinking I was being pretty damn generous, considering it’s your car and you can just, you know, leave. Drive off and abandon me. I’m the one who has to walk back to campus.”

  The moment he’s finished with his speech, his lips snap shut, and he glares at me for a moment. His hands are resting loosely on his hips, and he averts his gaze as he stares off in the distance. Like he can’t look at me.

  As if I disgust him.

  The waning sun casts him in this beautiful golden glow, making the #1 pendant he’s wearing around his neck gleam as his chest rises and falls with his accelerated breaths.

  He’s mad.

  He’s gorgeous.

  I hurt his feelings.

  I feel like a complete bitch.

  “I’ve done shit in my past that I’m not proud of, okay?” He turns to look at me once more, his voice softer, his expression not quite as ragey. “Cami is one of them, but I broke it off with her when I found out about Jake. I’m not a cheater.”

  He hesitates for only a moment and we both watch each other warily.

  “There have been some girls,” he continues. “My number isn’t as high as everyone thinks it is. I flirt. It’s part of my personality. It gets me what I want.”

  Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, cracking them open before I ask, “So is that all I am to you? Someone to flirt with?”

  Another car speeds by, making my hair streak across my face and my skirt fly up. I press the fabric into submission before I brush my hair away from my mouth.

  And still, Eli hasn’t responded to my question.

  “I can’t even believe you’re asking me this,” he finally says, throwing his arms up in the air yet again, and offering me another glimpse of his perfectly flat belly. “And why is it always a struggle between us?”

  Good question. Things should be easy. My mom told me that when I was a freshman and crying over some boy. A relationship with someone during high school should be fun, she’s said to me more than once.

  When I asked her how old she was when she met Dad, she said nineteen. When I asked if their relationship was fun, she got a funny look on her face and had to admit no, it wasn’t fun at all.

  At first, it was hard. But he was worth it, she reassured me.

  So worth it.

  Things can’t always be easy. Sometimes you have to fight for what you want.

  And I believe Eli is worth it.

  “I’m sorry I made you mad,” I admit, biting my lower lip before I continue. “And I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”

  His expression is impassive. Unreadable. This is not the Eli I’m used to. “You’re forgiven,” he says stiffly.

  “And I can’t believe we’re having this conversation on the side of the road,” I tell him, just before yet another car goes whizzing past us. My skirt flies up again and I bat the billowy fabric down, mentally cursing my outfit choice.

  He’s trying to look serious, but I see the smile he’s fighting to hide. “You started it.”

  “You’re the one who pulled over,” I point out.

  “Because you insulted me.”

  “I’m sorry I insulted you,” I say solemnly.

  He walks toward me. Stops directly in front of me. Reaches out and rests his hands on my hips, his warm fingers burning through the thin fabric of my dress. “Like I just said, you’re forgiven.”

  I tilt my head up to meet his gaze, sucking in a breath when I see his face coming closer, his mouth settling on mine. Briefly.

  Too briefly.

  “I’ve been wanting to do that since I first saw you in the parking lot,” he murmurs against my lips before he kisses me again.

  His hands slip from my waist to the small of my back, sliding down over my butt. Toying with the hem of my skirt, his fingers brushing the back of my thighs. I break the kiss and pull out of his hold, slowly shaking my head. “I’m not going to let you feel me up on the side of the road, Bennett.”

  “Damn.” He smiles. “I’ve definitely never done that before.”

  I turn and start walking back to the car. He follows after me. “You better hurry or I’m going to be the one driving,” I call.

  He races past me, making me laugh. But instead of going to the driver’s door, he’s on the passenger side, opening the door and bowing like he’s Prince Charming. “Milady’s carriage awaits.”

  A giggle escapes me as I come to a stop in front of him. He’s watching me, a smile curving his lips but his gaze is serious. So serious. My laughter dies, and I rest my hand on his chest, noting how quickly his heart is beating.

  “Are you okay?” I ask quietly.

  He rests his hand over mine. “Never better.”

  We end up at a very small Mexican restaurant tucked among a wall of towering pines. I’ve driven past this place before and never noticed it. Not once. The parking lot is full, the tiny dining area is packed, though they have a walk-up window where you can order food to go. I let Eli choose my meal as I wait for him, leaning against my car and watching as he bends over to talk to the girl behind the glass, his elbows propped on the window’s ledge, a welcoming smile stretching across his face.

  He’s so flirtatious. But after what happened between us on the side of the road, I can’t worry about it. He’s into me. He brought me here. Just because he’s smiling and making easy conversation with the girl working at the takeout window doesn’t mean he wants to bone her for God’s sake.

  Bone her. I sound just like one of my brother’s friends.

  “I went to school with that chick,” Eli says as he approaches the car, jerking his thumb over his shoulder, indicating the girl he just gave our order to. “She graduated a couple of years ago.”

  “Cool,” I say with a little nod. “Were you friends with her?”

  “Nah. Not really. We barely talked, but she recognized me. Maybe because of my brother, I don’t know. I didn’t recognize her.” He makes a face. “Life after high school hasn’t been very kind to her.”

  Without warning, he hops onto
the back of my car with ease, plopping his butt on top of my trunk. He watches me, his lips curled in a mischievous, closed-mouth smile. “You should do a twirl in your dress.”

  “Why are you always asking me to turn around?”

  “I’m hoping I can catch a look at your thighs,” he tells me with zero shame.

  “Didn’t you get a good enough look at them Friday night?” I tease.

  His brows shoot up so far I’m surprised they’re not in his hairline. “Look at you getting all sassy.”

  I tilt my head to the side, resting my hands on my hips. “Well?”

  “I’ll have you know that no, I did not get a good enough look at them Friday night,” he says, his deliciously deep voice making me take a few steps closer to him. “Next time I check them out, I’m hoping I’ll be up close and personal, if you get what I’m saying.”

  My cheeks go hot, but I try to push through my embarrassment. “Spell it out for me.”

  He chuckles, rubbing his chin with his hand as he contemplates me. “Okay. I’m hoping the next time I get a good look at those pretty thighs, I’ll have my face between them.”

  I swallow hard at the image his words conjure up. “Oh.”

  “Yeah. Oh.” He grabs my hand and pulls me in close, spreading his legs so I’m standing in between them. Reaching out, he touches my cheek. Rubs his thumb across my mouth. I part my lips and he presses his thumb between them, just as I bite down on the edge of his finger. Lightly at first. Then I go a little deeper.

  “That kind of hurts.” He tips his head. “You enjoying that?”

  Nodding, I bite even harder, digging my teeth into his skin. He’s a little salty. And his gaze is glued on the very spot where my lips are wrapped around his thumb. Probably imagining my lips wrapped around something else of his.

  “I really fucking wish we were alone right now,” he murmurs.

  I release him from my teeth and take a step back. “But I’m starving.”

  “Same here,” he says, swiping his hair away from his forehead. “Girl, you’re making me sweat.”

  “It’s been hot all week.”

  “You’re pretty fucking hot right now,” he tosses back at me.

  “So are you.” At first, I thought he looked a tad ridiculous in the cropped shirt and shorts, but honestly? He can pull it off. His abs are perfection. His entire body is lean and muscular, though his thighs are pretty solid. His legs are dusted with golden hair, the same color as the hair that leads from his navel to the waistband of his shorts.

  I’m suddenly short of breath, thinking about that mysterious path.

  No other boy makes me think like this. Feel like this. It’s…weird. Uncomfortable and exciting, all at once. Watching him right now, I can’t help but wonder what he looks like completely naked.

  This makes me feel like a pervert.

  Sort of.

  Okay, not really.

  But seriously, I want to see him naked. I want to know what he likes. I want to know what he tastes like…

  Everywhere.

  “Hey.” He snaps his fingers, bringing me back to reality and my entire body jolts, my gaze meeting his guiltily. “What were you thinking just now?”

  “Nothing.” I smile and shake my head.

  Meanwhile, my cheeks are on fire.

  “Uh huh.” He leans forward, nearly slipping off the back of my car as he snatches my hand up again, pulling me toward him. “From the expression on your face, I’d guess you were neck deep in dirty thoughts.”

  I remain quiet. Just watch him while wearing what I hope is an innocent expression.

  “Oh yeah.” His smile is filthy. As if he’s thinking the same thing I am. “You look guilty as shit right now, Princess Ava.”

  “Don’t call me that.” I reach out to swat at his thigh, my hand making contact with rock hard muscle. He grabs my wrist at the last second, sliding my hand up so it brushes against his groin.

  Against his erection.

  My eyes go wide. His are dancing with amusement. He must love shocking me. He does it all the freaking time.

  “Eli,” I breathe.

  “Being around you does that to me, so it’s all your fault,” he says lightly, his fingers still wrapped around my wrist. Unable to resist, I touch him again. Draw my index finger along the head of his—OMG.

  I feel very much all of sixteen, doing this right now. I like to believe I’m more sophisticated and practically an adult most of the time, but at this moment, I feel very, very young.

  And very, very inexperienced.

  “Are you really going to give me a hand job in the parking lot?” He sounds infinitely amused.

  “Of course not,” I say shakily, struggling to pull out of his grip.

  “I’m not protesting if that’s what you’re into,” he continues, his fingers loosening around my wrist.

  But I don’t remove my hand. Instead, I rest it completely over his crotch, taking a step closer, as close as I can get, considering he’s still sitting on the back of my car.

  He bends over me, his hand catching my chin, tilting my face up. “I’m fucked, you know that? When it comes to you, I’m completely, one hundred percent fucked.”

  Eli kisses me before I can say anything. Before I can protest or argue with him. And the kiss is unlike any other kiss he’s given me before. It’s hungry. Demanding. His tongue does a thorough search of my mouth and his fingers cup my chin tight, never letting me go. I curl my fingers around his erection, and he groans into my mouth.

  Touching him is like a drug. Knowing I make him feel this way is just…

  I can’t explain it. But I want more. Lots more.

  I want it all.

  With Eli.

  Twenty-Nine

  Eli

  Watching Ava eat is like a prelude to sex. Like foreplay. Like every secret fantasy I didn’t even know existed come to life.

  This is what she does to me. She renders me into a staring, voiceless idiot. I watch as she brings the crumbling taco to her mouth and takes a big bite, her lips shiny as she chews. She plucks a spare piece of lettuce, meat and cheese from her plate and tilts her head back, dropping it into her mouth.

  Oh and the noises she makes. Moans and groans and whimpers. Softly whispered exclamations like, “This is so good” and “Oh my God.”

  Yeah. I’m still sweating. It’s not from the hot sauce I doused my food with either. Or from the way she had her fingers on my dick earlier.

  Nope. It’s just watching this girl eat for the love of God. Who knew it would be such an erotic performance?

  I devour my food. Hoover it down because I’m fucking starving after a hard practice and a harder argument. The girl gets me all worked up every single time, and I don’t like it.

  But I also secretly do. I love it. We argue. We make up. She didn’t believe me when I said I hadn’t fucked Cami and that hurt. No one ever believes me. They always think I’m full of shit. I probably ask for that kind of treatment sometimes, what with my confrontational attitude and constant boasting, but damn. I need at least one person to believe in me no matter what. I was hoping that person would be Ava.

  Doesn’t look like it. At least, not yet.

  “You want my last taco?” she asks, her question pulling me from my thoughts.

  I blink at her. We’re both sitting on the back of her car, eating our dinner. The restaurant is still full and cars come and go, full of locals picking up their takeout dinners. We’re on the far side of the lot, drinking Cokes and gorging ourselves on delicious Mexican food. Well, I gorged myself. Now I’m watching Ava like a man possessed.

  I think of all the dirty things I could say in reference to her last taco. I’m pretty much claiming that taco between her legs. Yep, I could say that, as tacky as it sounds.

  “I thought you were starving,” I say, my voice even. Like nothing’s bothering me.

  Inside, I feel like a series of clanging bells and extra loud alarms are going off. Warning me to run. To get away fr
om this girl. She’s crawled her way inside me, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get over her.

  That’s fucking scary, man.

  “I’m getting full.” She picks up the taco, takes a giant bite out of it and then drops it on her plate before passing it to me. “Take it.”

  My eyes never leaving hers, I grab her plate and pick up the taco, sinking my teeth into it. I chew and chew, our gazes locked, and once I swallow, I lick my lips. Make a smacking noise. “Delicious.”

  She doesn’t acknowledge me sexualizing a Goddamn taco and I let it go. Stuff it down my gullet before I wash it down with the last of my soda. I crush the aluminum can in my fist, then toss it into the bag with the rest of the garbage from our dinner.

  “That was really good,” she says. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” I grab the bag and hop off the back of the car. “I’ll be right back.”

  I saunter over to the restaurant building, tossing the bag in the trashcan. The girl I went to school with is smiling at me from behind the takeout window and she opens it, leaning her head out.

  “It was good seeing you again.”

  “Yeah. You too.” I already forgot her name. And she said it to me when I made our order with her earlier.

  “You should give me a call sometime.”

  I glance over at Ava’s car. At Ava, sitting on top of the trunk, the skirt of her dress spread wide, her hands resting on her knees, her blonde hair gleaming from the giant light pole rising above her. She meets my gaze and smiles and everything inside of me goes tight. My heart floods with some weird, unrecognizable emotion and I smile at her too.

  Fuck, what is she doing to me?

  “I got a girl.” I wave a hand toward Ava. “But you have a good night, okay?”

  “You too,” the girl whose name I already forgot says, her voice full of melancholy as she snaps the window shut.

  I jog back to where Ava waits for me, stopping directly in front of her. “Want to go to the lake?”

  “From this side?”

  I nod. We’re on the southeast side of the lake, and Ava lives on the northwest side.