“Come on, Bennett. Let’s go,” he commands.
Whatever my best friend is up to, he’s not acting like his normal self. Brenden is no pussy, but he doesn’t normally boss me around either.
I make my way to the center of the circle, taking my time. I don’t follow anyone’s command. I don’t care what I told Brenden. Yes, I’ll let him get one hit on me. He tries another, I’ll take him out.
Stopping just in front of him, I say, “Good game tonight.”
He grits his teeth. “You too,” he practically spits out.
I frown at him. “Since when do you hate me so much?”
Brenden shoots a glance over at Kayla, who nods her encouragement. “You’ve been holding me down for years,” he says once he faces me again. “It’s finally my turn.”
I’m not one to put the blame on women for causing problems among friends, but I’m having a lightbulb moment. Kayla is most definitely encouraging her new boyfriend that he doesn’t need my shit any longer. That he should be top dog.
I chance a look at Jackson, who’s got a smile on his face as he makes this weird laughing sound. “Told you so!” he yells, pointing at me.
Motherfucker. Yeah, he did.
“You can believe what you want to believe, but I’ve never held you down. Not once, Brenden. You’re my best friend. Yeah, I fucked up when I swung out of nowhere and my fist made contact with your face, and I apologized for that. I truly am sorry,” I explain.
He sneers. “Sure, you are. I’m just dying for the chance to get back at you.”
I stand up straighter. I’m taller than him, by about an inch, inch and a half. I take another step closer, our shoes touching, my face in his. “Fine. One punch. You throw another, I can’t be held responsible for what I do next.”
Brenden blinks rapidly, looking over at his girlfriend like he’s searching for guidance.
“Don’t look at her,” I tell him, and his gaze snaps back to mine. “Be real with me right now,” I say, my voice low. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Nothing. You’re the problem, not me.” He shakes out his fist, hopping up and down like he’s about to jump into the boxing ring. I can feel nervous energy pouring out of him, and he’s drenching me in it.
I refuse to be nervous. I can take a hit. I only worry what might happen if he continues hitting.
“All right.” I take a step back, keeping myself rigid as I brace myself for the impact. “You ready to hit me? Hit me.”
He curls his fingers into a fist and rears his arm back, holding it there as he stares at my face. I watch him, going for indifference, trying to intimidate him, and I’m fairly certain it’s working.
Until his fist comes flying at my face, making contact with the side of my mouth.
“Ahh!” I hear Brenden yell, shaking out his fingers.
I clutch my jaw, touching the spot where my mouth throbs, right in the corner. It could’ve been worse, I suppose. He could’ve knocked a tooth out or socked me in the eye.
“Hit him again!” Kayla yells, and all the other girls start yelling too.
Brenden looks around like a lost dog, his eyes wide and unblinking, and I swear I hear him whimper.
“Do it!” Kayla encourages.
He comes at me, bending over and aiming to head butt me right in the stomach. I dodge out of his way at the last second, his head glancing my ribs, and he stumbles to the ground. Giving me the perfect opportunity to pounce.
I jump on top of him and grab the front of his wanna be ninja shirt, pulling his head and shoulders off the ground with one jerk. “I should beat the shit out of you right now for what you just tried to pull.”
“Let me go, asswipe,” Brenden says, glaring at me. There’s so much hatred in his tone, in his eyes, I don’t know where this is coming from.
I thought he was my friend.
“Get off him!” Kayla yells at me, but I ignore her.
“You really want to go there with me? Because I will. You know I will. I’m crazy enough to take this all the way. And once I hit that point, there’s no going back, my friend. We will be enemies. Nothing more,” I tell him, hanging my head over his and staring into his eyes.
Brenden breathes heavy, but otherwise doesn’t say a word. I don’t either, because what the fuck? I’m the one who’s confused right now. And he’s the one who’s got some explaining to do.
“Go ahead and hit me then. Do your damage,” Brenden says, reminding me of a sulky baby.
“This is some straight up bullshit right now,” Jackson says, walking over to where we’re both sprawled on the ground. He grabs the back of my shirt and tugs, and I let go of Brenden’s shirt so I can rise to my feet. “You both got your hits in. Let’s call this a truce.”
“Fuck off, Rivers. Brenden should be running this team, not you two,” Kayla says as she marches toward us. “You both think you’re so high and mighty and perfect, while Brenden is always in the background, doing everything for both of you. He deserves his chance to shine, and I’m making sure he gets it.”
I’ve never in my life been tempted to hit a woman, but right now, I’d gladly give my left nut to just plow my fist into Kayla’s arrogant face. Where is she coming up with this shit?
“What have you been telling her?” I ask Brenden as Kayla helps him stand up and dusts him off.
He just hangs his head in answer.
“This is over,” Jackson says, his voice serious. “You go your way.” He points at Brenden. “And we’ll go our way. Understood?”
Kayla glares at us, making a huffing noise before she grabs hold of Brenden’s hand like he’s a toddler and she’s his pissed off mama, dragging him away. A few others follow after them, including all the girls.
The rest stay with me. And Jackson.
“You all right?” he asks me, once Brenden and his witchy girlfriend are gone.
I nod, touching my lip again where it’s starting to swell. “You didn’t have to choose a side.”
“Hell yeah, I did. What is she filling his head with, huh? I don’t get it.” Jackson shakes his head. “You ready to go?”
“Yeah. I gotta send a quick text first.” I pull my phone out and type a message to Ava.
I’m coming out right now. Where are you?
She answers within seconds.
In the parking lot, behind the buses.
Hiding out then.
I’ll come find you.
I shove my phone into my back pocket and head out to the parking lot with Jackson and the rest of them.
I drive over to the north end of the lot, where Ava said she would be. I pull up beside her car and roll down the window. She does the same. She’s smiling, but the moment my face comes into full view, she gasps, “What happened to you?”
“Oh that?” I rub the corner of my mouth, wincing. “I ran into someone’s fist.”
Ava scowls. She’s cute when she does that. All bossy and mean looking. “Who hit you?”
“I’ll tell you about it if you come to my house,” I offer.
Her frown deepens. “Is your mom there?”
“She’s passed out with Muffin,” I remind her.
“Is that a common occurrence?”
She’s freaking adorable, this girl. “It’s an every night occurrence, princess. Are you down? We can hang out in my room.”
“All right.” The expression on her face is unsure. Like she might doubt me. That’s the last thing I need tonight.
“Let’s go then.”
She follows me to my house, pulling her car in behind mine, where I park it in the driveway. I hold my finger up to my lips as I take her hand and lead her through the backdoor and into the kitchen, just like the last time I brought her to my house. We grab a couple of sodas, and I snag a bag of Doritos from the pantry before we head to my bedroom.
“It might be a mess,” I whisper to her, my hand resting on the door handle.
“I don’t care,” she whispers back.
Slowly, I
open the door and flick on the overhead light while she walks inside, her gaze curious as she takes it all in. I shut and lock the door and then go to the bedside table, where I switch on the lamp and pick up the ceiling fan remote. I turn the fan on and the light off.
Gotta have some mood lighting when your girl’s in your room for the first time, am I right?
“Let me see your face,” she says as she grabs my hand once more and drags me over to my bed, placing her hand on my shoulder and shoving me into the sitting position. She grips my chin and tilts my head back, examining my wound before she probes it with her fingers.
“Ouch.” I try to jerk away from her touch, but her hold is too firm on my chin. “That hurts.”
“Sorry.” She doesn’t sound the least bit sorry. That’s my girl. “Tell me what happened.”
I explain the fight. The way Brenden’s girlfriend talked to me and Jackson, how she encouraged Brenden to hit me again.
“Did he actually hit you again?” Ava asks.
“No. He tried to head butt me, but I moved out of the way at the last second. He ran into my side, my ribs.” I rest a hand against them to demonstrate.
Her hand immediately goes beneath my shirt, her fingers gently pressing against my ribs. Making me laugh because hey, when a hot girl is touching you in your side, you suddenly become ticklish.
“I don’t think your ribs are injured,” she says, her hand returning to the corner of my mouth. “But he definitely injured you here.”
I’m about to say something, but then she does the craziest thing.
Ava leans in, her breath fluttering across my parted lips just before she presses a gentle, barely there kiss on the corner of my lips, right where Brenden’s fist connected with my flesh.
When she pulls away, I can’t help but ask her, “Why’d you do that?”
“I wanted to kiss it and hopefully make it better.” She grabs the bag of chips and sprawls out on my bed, tearing the bag open and plucking a chip out of it. “I’m hungry.”
I stare at her for a moment, surprised by her casual attitude. How easily she kissed me. Took care of me. I treat her like garbage all week, and she’s acting like nothing’s changed.
Makes me suspicious. When I do stupid shit, the girls I’ve been with always explode with anger. Call me out for my bad behavior. And while Ava and I did have a couple of arguments, and she did actually call me out for being a jerk, I guess that’s…it. We were mad, and now we’re not.
I reposition myself so I’m sitting right next to her and reach inside the chip bag to grab a handful of orange cheesy goodness. “I’m glad you came to my game.”
“I’m glad I did too.” She munches on the chips, and I hand her a soda can, which she cracks open and takes a gulp from. “I never get to watch you play.”
“Like I never got to watch you cheer until a couple weeks ago,” I say.
“None of the football players I know pay attention to the cheerleaders when we’re actually cheering,” she observes.
And she would be right. When do we have time to watch them? We’re too busy playing the game. Or watching the game.
“If you were cheering for me, I’d watch you all the time.” I waggle my eyebrows at her, and she giggles.
Then immediately goes sober. “I should be really mad at you right now.”
I drop the chip I was about to eat back in the bag. “I know. You have every right to be mad at me. I was a dick.”
“Yes.” She nods vigorously. “You were.”
“You want to know what my problem is?”
“Please tell me,” she says.
I look away, staring at the trophy shelf my dad hung for me when we first moved into this house. Back when shit was normal and my entire family came to my games. Back when I played every sport under the sun because I loved them all equally. “I’m a jealous fuck.”
“Eli,” she starts, but I shake my head.
“Let me finish.” I meet her gaze, and she stares back at me, her green eyes wide. Now that I’ve got her here with me, in my room, for the love of God, I can’t fuck this up. I need to tread lightly. “You’re not with me at school, and it kills me. You get nominated for homecoming, and all eyes are on you. They’re all gonna watch you, Ava, and if you win? They’re all going to want a piece of you. Guys who never noticed you before are definitely going to be following you around campus now.”
“That’s not true,” she protests, and I rest my finger over her lips, silencing her.
“It’s so true. The best part? You don’t even know how fucking magnetic you are. How sexy you are.”
She laughs beneath my fingers, and I press them harder against her perfect lips. “I adore everything about you. And I like keeping you to myself. But now the entire world is finally going to see how great you are, and I’m afraid…”
My voice drifts, and I clamp my lips shut, unsure if I should say what I want to say.
“You’re afraid of what?” she asks softly.
“That you’re going to find someone better than me.” I drop my fingers from her lips to cradle the side of her face with my palm. “I know there are a lot of better guys out there. Smarter, taller, better looking, stronger—that guy is out there. A bunch of them are. But just know this. No one will love you better than I do.”
Ava blinks at me, her delicate brows lowering. “Are you saying that you—”
“That I’m in love with you? Yes. Yes, I fucking love you so damn much, Ava, it’s painful. This is why I act the way I do. And say stupid shit all the time. Maybe it’s why I push you away, because my feelings for you overwhelm me so much, I don’t know how to function as a normal human being. And then the moment I push you out of my life, I miss you so damn bad, my chest hurts.” I rub at it now, at the hollow spot between my pecs. “It misses my heart because you’ve got it, babe. It belongs to you and no one else.”
There are tears shining in her eyes, and I feel like a miserable son of a bitch seeing them, considering I’m the one who put them there. “Do not cry,” I tell her, my voice stern as I slip my fingers into her silky soft hair. Like I’m in command of her emotions. “I’m not worth your tears.”
“Eli.” Her voice cracks on my name and then she’s pulling me into her arms, and I bury my face in her fragrant hair. We hold each other for long, quiet minutes, our racing hearts beating in time with each other. This girl…
Is everything to me.
“You don’t have to say it right now if you don’t feel the same way,” I whisper into her hair. “I just wanted to let you know. Those words have been sitting on my chest like a boulder, making it hard for me to breathe.”
“Why didn’t you call me all week?” she asks, her voice muffled against my shoulder.
“I’m an asshole who thought it was best I stay away from you for a while. Instead I made everyone else miserable too and now my best friend hates me,” I say, closing my eyes, as I breathe her in.
She lifts her head and pulls away a little bit so we can look into each other’s eyes. “Please don’t shut me out like that again,” she says. “I missed you too, you know.”
“Really?” It never seems like anyone misses me. Mom and Dad don’t care where I am or what I’m doing, unless one of them uses me to get back at the other. My nonexistent brother doesn’t care. My best friend hates me now.
I am having a serious pity party, but fuck it. Sometimes it feels good to wallow in the sadness.
“Yes, really,” she stresses, the look on her face telling me duh. “Our relationship isn’t what I would call normal—”
“I’ll say,” I interrupt with a chuckle.
She glares. I shut up. “But it’s ours, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“You sure about that?” I ask, tilting my head. There are lot of things I would change if I could. First order of business would be her coming to my school so I could be with her Monday through Friday.
“Yes,” she says with a firm nod. “Now, are we going to sit
around and snack on chips, or are we going to fool around and eventually I’ll give you a hand job?”
She didn’t tell me she loves me too. I shove the disappointment aside, trying to focus on the fact that she just offered to give me a hand job. I should be pinning her to the bed by now and kissing the shit out of her.
Instead, I say, “Let me finish this Coke first.”
Ava gapes at me. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. I’m thirsty.” I shrug, then take a sip of the soda I opened only a few minutes ago. I’m hurting a little, but I don’t want to admit it. Instead, I focus on trying to show her I don’t have sex on the brain twenty-four-seven. That I can actually respect her as a human being versus trying to imagine her naked all the time. I mean, that’s true too, but it’s not all I think about. “Tell me about your week, since we didn’t talk much.”
So we talk. We talk for over an hour, letting each other know what happened these past few days. We make each other laugh with some funny, silly stories, and she gives me a brief hug when I explain all the problems I’ve had with Brenden. She tells me about the cheer team’s halftime routine for homecoming and how difficult it is, but it’s coming together. She also mentions how she has to go dress shopping tomorrow with the other junior girls who were nominated with her.
“Oh, and by the way, I have something to tell you,” she says.
Unease slips down my spine, making me wary. “What?”
“I’m running with Wyatt,” she says, her expression full of apprehension.
I frown. “The Wyatt? The Wyatt who wanted you to wear his jersey at the beginning of the school year?”
She nods. “The very same Wyatt. But don’t worry. He’s just a friend. That’s it. That’s why we’re running together. He didn’t want to run with Lindsey, who’s his ex-girlfriend. She was nominated too, and she’s not really over him, even though she broke up with him first. He thought it might be too awkward if they had to participate in everything together.”
“Sure. Also because he’d rather run with the girl he’s been crushing on for months.” I clamp my lips shut. It feels like steam is gushing out of my ears, I’m so pissed. Even though I shouldn’t be. “I get it.”
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