“Do you trust it?”
Kirheen considered his words. She didn’t feel fear, not the way she’d felt when those terrible green eyes had looked down on her. “I guess so.”
“Then keep walking.”
And she did. It felt as though her journey would never end. On and on the blue lights went, until it felt as though the last of her strength had been drained away. She trudged forward, slowing with every step.
“I’m so tired. I don’t think I can make it.” She stumbled forward, knees slamming into the ground. The darkness beneath her exploded into a burst of bright light, and then she was falling. Giant, puffy clouds floated lazily around her, unaware of her panic as she streaked past, hopelessly reaching out for anything that might stop her fall. Fingers slipped through rolling clouds, coming away slick with moisture. Far below, she could see an ocean, bright and blue. She sped towards it, racing faster and faster, her heart lodged in her throat.
“Help me, please. I’m falling!”
“Trust yourself, Kirheen.”
“I can’t.”
Just before she hit the water, a scream came tearing out of her throat. Icy water filled her open mouth, freezing her terror and stopping her lungs. Her heart hammered a final, frantic beat before it too fell silent.
Garild watched Kirheen wake with a gasp, eyes wild with panic. She thrashed against Tomias, nails digging into the arms pinning her to the ground. Tomias refused to let go despite the pain he must have felt each time her nails bit into his skin. “Stop struggling,” he said to her. “You’re going to be all right. Just breathe.”
His voice was nearly drowned out by the sound of Kirheen gasping for air. “I can’t,” she choked. “I c-can’t breathe.” Her nails found his hands and she clawed at his fingers, trying desperately to break his grip.
He needed to let her go, to give her space. “Tomias, let her go! She’s awake,” he shouted, only to be ignored. With a growl, he flung himself towards Kirheen, slipping out of Fenir’s grasp and landing with a thump next to his bond mate. He went to reach for her, but Tomias shot him a glare so intense he faltered.
“Don’t you dare,” he warned between gritted teeth. “Get out of the way. Now!” He turned his attention back to Kirheen, grabbing her wrists and pinning them down so she could no longer tear away at him. Her breathing was becoming more controlled, her thrashing dying down. “Breathe, girl. If you go back to that place, you’ll be lost forever. Stay with my voice. Right here. Good.”
“I’m trying,” she moaned, tears streaming down her cheeks. She sucked in air through her nose and released it through her mouth, calming with each breath.
“Good. Again.”
Garild felt helpless. He wanted to do something to help her, but he felt lost. Reaching out, he took hold of her hand and squeezed it gently. Suddenly, he could feel it, the panic coursing through her veins, the frantic beat of her heart, the ache of her burning lungs. All the fear and the pain were his to hold and he gasped as it overtook him. Somewhere beyond, he heard Tomias shout, but through the fog of pain and grief, he couldn’t make out what he’d said. He struggled to separate himself from the pain, to hold it back, but it was violent, a tsunami of emotions drowning him.
Hands dug into his arms and he was yanked backwards. His hand slipped out of Kirheen’s and he found himself flat on his back, Fenir looming over him with a disapproving frown. He pushed himself upright, head pounding with the movement.
“Well, you’ve made a fool of yourself twice now, Garild,” Tomias chided. Kirheen lay by his side, sound asleep, her face a mask of calm. “But, lucky for you, it’s only your first day. You’ll learn.”
“I’m not sure I want to learn anymore,” he groaned, rubbing his forehead. “What happened?”
“It would require more of an explanation than I can give right now, but put simply, Kirheen entered your mind. In her current state, she couldn’t quite control that.”
Garild felt horrified. “Is that what it’s like every time?”
“By the Allseer herself, no! Not in the slightest. If it were so, you really think anyone would let it happen? She just transferred some of her feelings to you. It was her minds way of easing the pain she was feeling.”
“So, what I felt…”
“Those were her emotions, everything she was feeling in that moment. While normally I’d scold you for such a stupid mistake, it did allow me a chance to seal her mind, so for that you have my thanks. Are you okay?”
“My head feels like it’s going to split in half. Is she going to be all right?”
Tomias smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes. He looked exhausted, as if the use of his powers had aged him ten years. “Just fine. It might take her a few days. That traumatic an experience can be awfully tiring, especially when you aren’t prepared for it in the slightest. She’ll need lots of rest, so don’t let her go running off seeking revenge just yet - or ever for that matter.”
“What about Herzin?” he asked, glancing towards her body. Fenir knelt and scooped her up off the ground. She hung limp in his arms, lost in the same peaceful slumber as Kirheen. “Will she recover?”
“You didn’t hear this from me, but the unfortunate answer is that she will,” he said with a scowl. “She’ll be down for a few days, same as your bond mate. Let us all hope it is a longer recovery. I’m sure once she’s back on her feet, the whole of Sanctuary will feel her wrath. Come, we need to report to the Union Master. I don’t imagine he’ll be very happy about this.” He slipped his arms under Kirheen, gently lifted her up, and cradled her against his chest. Garild felt a pang of jealousy. He wanted to be the one to hold her and comfort her. Tomias motioned with his head for him to follow, and he trailed after him towards their bedroom. “Pull back the covers.”
He did as he was told, shifting the blankets so Tomias could set her down. Once she was settled, he pulled the blankets around her shoulders, tucking her in tightly. She breathed deeply, her face a bloodied mess, but calm.
“I should stay with her.”
“You can,” Tomias said. “If Nyson wishes to speak with you, he’ll come calling. Just stay here for now.” Tomias squeezed his shoulder before trudging from the room. Garild doubted he was looking forward to reporting to the Union Master. It scared him to think what might happen to all of them once he found out.
He sat on the edge of his bed, exhaustion sweeping over him. The pounding in his skull had subsided, but he felt heavy, as if some great weight were crushing him. He pushed himself onto the bed, nestling his head against the pillows. It wasn’t long before he was resting peacefully, the events of the morning momentarily forgotten.
CHAPTER 5
The Union Master was silent, face a stone mask that shifted and changed with the fluttering of the candlelight. The sweet smell of cinnamon filled the air, giving warmth to an otherwise cold room. It did nothing to warm his mood, which cracked and splintered like ice shattering under one’s foot. One wrong step was all it would take, a slight shift, and some unlucky soul would fall into the frigid depths of his rage.
It had not been a good day for a situation like the one he now faced. He already felt stretched, his mind so thin that it felt like it might snap at any moment. Before him, Herzin rested peacefully. She appeared younger in the dim light, long gray hair tumbling about her thin shoulders. It gave a hint of the woman she’d been, before anger and pride had turned her into a weathered old crone. Nyson wondered if she knew, if she even realized what the great green monster had done to her beauty. Not that she’d care, he thought, just as she hadn’t cared about the disaster she’d caused.
The thought made him seethe. He clenched his teeth together, grinding them back and forth as he looked down at Herzin. She wasn’t entirely to blame. He should have known, perhaps had known, that giving her power over a girl apt at challenging authority was a bad idea. He’d expected them to clash, but he hadn’t expected them to try killing each other. The hope had been that Herzin would rein her in, that she
’d fight fire with fire. Instead, they’d both burned up, neither willing to back down. It had been a foolish mistake. Had he really expected anything less from the Judge of Trials?
She was a woman that spent her days deciding the fate of those that broke their bonds, those that chose selfishness over union. Whatever bit of sympathy she’d had, it had dried up long ago. He respected her for it. It was because of her that they could keep control. There were apt to be those that slipped up, and she was there to crack the whip when it happened. Her authority was absolute, the knife hidden behind his words.
She’d earned a reputation of being cruel, her punishments harsh, but without her, he knew Sanctuary would be lost. She was the reason the youngest children told stories about being turned into emotionless husks in her halls, and it was those stories that followed them as they grew, keeping them from doing anything stupid. No matter how exaggerated those stories were, they worked.
His respect had been earned, but so too had his ire.
Eyelids fluttered open, revealing emerald eyes dimmed by exhaustion. It took her a moment to regain her senses, even longer before she met his piercing gaze. When she finally looked to him, her face was heavy with guilt. She took a deep breath before speaking, her words barely above a whisper, as if she feared waking some sleeping beast.
“Nyson, I-”
“Silence,” he hissed, leaning forward until his elbows rested on the bed, his fingers laced to support his chin. “You’ve disappointed me, Herzin.”
“I’m sorry. I can explain,” she said, holding the blankets firmly against her chest as she sat up.
Nyson scoffed, annoyance flashing through him like lightning. “I don’t need you to explain what happened. That job was already done for you. What I need is for you to make me understand. Help me understand how a woman far old enough to know better would try to break a child before she’s even shown her how to guard her own mind. Make me understand what would possess you to be so damned foolish that you’d nearly kill not just her, but yourself as well. Make me understand before I feel the need to finish the job and be done with you.”
Not even the warmth from the candle could keep her face from turning a ghastly white. She clutched the blankets tighter, frail fingers digging deeply into the folds. She chewed on her bottom lip, thoughts dancing in her eyes as she formulated her words, no doubt choosing them carefully.
“I was trying to teach her respect, to teach her to obey. I didn’t expect her to react so violently. I should have been more cautious and more patient.”
“That’s it? You were trying to teach her a lesson? You don’t set someone on fire and expect them to know how to put it out without teaching them first. Your haste and recklessness have shamed me. You’ve made a mockery of me and it will not go unpunished.”
Her green eyes flared. “I’ve shamed you? I, the woman that has kept you in power all these years. I, the woman that has sacrificed everything for the sake of this place. I can’t believe you won’t see reason in this.”
“You want to blame me for your foolishness? That isn’t wise.”
“The girl is trouble. She’s had too much freedom, far too much leniency. We’ve allowed her to act out and question everything. It’s dangerous!”
“Oh, don’t tell me this is what this is all about. It’s irrelevant!”
Herzin scowled. “I’d say not. The girl is a spark that needs to be controlled. She’s likely to burn down the whole of Sanctuary if we don’t put her in her place. Or should we just let her grow more dangerous? You let it happen before, why not now?”
Nyson stood in a fury, his shadow looming like some dark force ready to consume the light. He couldn’t believe she’d be so bold, to bring up the past in such a way. She was stoking the flames of his rage, adding more fuel to the fire. “Watch your words, Herzin. I’m warning you.”
She didn’t relent. “You did let it happen though, did you not? When that bastard brother of yours spoke out, you did nothing. You chose to back down while he tore apart this world your family so carefully built. You let him do it and we all paid the price!”
“You dare question my past decisions? We’re alive because of me, alive because I let them choose their own path instead of bringing Sanctuary down around our heads!”
Flinging the blankets away, Herzin stood, stepping forward until she was mere inches from Nyson. She raised her chin defiantly, staring up at him through thick lashes. “Don’t fool yourself. We’re not alive. We haven’t been for years. They took something from us, and we’ll never get it back. I won’t let this happen again. I can stop this before it happens to others. I can stop them from feeling the pain we felt. Do you know why I did what I did to Kirheen? I did it because when I look into her pretty smirking face, all I see is the man that betrayed us, the man that stepped on everything we stood for his own selfish desires. That bastard took everything and I’m not going to let it happen again. I’m not going to let her break our pride the way he did when he walked away with that whore you called a bond mate!”
Nyson lashed out, fist connecting with her face with all the solidity of a hurled brick. She tumbled back against the bed, hand held to her cheek. He could see the shock and anger the blow had caused as she raised her eyes, could see the loathing burning in those emerald depths. He bent down ever so slowly until he was level with her. Reaching out, he pulled her hand away from her face, eyeing the bruise already forming on her cheek. His hand slid along her face, cupping her chin. Her jaw tensed beneath his grip. He was slipping into a void, a dark place he fell in to at times like these. He welcomed it, let it settle over him like a second skin.
“Herzin, if you ever speak of them again, I swear to you, it will be the last words that ever leave your lips. Do you understand me?”
She ignored him, eyes darting to the far corner of the room. A surge of anger sent his hand slipping into her hair. He yanked back, forcing her to look at him. Their eyes locked and she nodded meekly.
“Say it.”
“I won’t speak of them again,” she said, eyes never leaving his.
The anger was dissipating, fleeing as quickly as it came. He unlatched his hand from her hair, wiping it on his robes as if he were wiping away dirt. His hands were trembling, a tick that always happened after falling into that dark place. He clenched them tightly at his sides, not wanting her to see such weakness. “Tomias and Fenir will be taking over the training of Kirheen and Garild. You are no longer needed, nor welcome, to perform that task.”
As he turned away, he caught a brief glimpse of her face, eyes flickering between hurt and anger, an endless struggle with no clear victor. He didn’t enjoy hurting her. Despite his actions, he cared for her. The Sanctuary that existed had spawned from both of their efforts. She was indispensable, he knew that, but she was also a danger herself. He may have shared the responsibilities of leadership and, on occasion, a bed with the woman, but he didn’t trust her. If it came down to it, he was willing to break her, to control her mind as he’d done time and time again with the others. She would learn to obey him – learn or be broken like the rest.
CHAPTER 6
For the first time in her life, Kirheen had nothing to say. The people around her had faded into the background, becoming nothing but a ripple of noise on the edge of her consciousness. She dragged a wooden spoon in lazy circles through oats that had long since gone cold and wondered how anyone found the mushy substance appealing. Many of the other Bonded had already finished their meals and had set off to meet with their instructors. Only a few remained, Garild among them.
It had been a week since her dreadful experience, a week since she’d been attacked. She still felt withdrawn and paranoid, acutely aware of her own personal space and the walls in her mind. She checked them often, searching for cracks and holes that someone might try and squeeze through. Headaches were a frequent occurrence, painful and sudden, but Tomias assured her they’d fade with time.
Sleep was elusive. When she closed her eyes at n
ight, she suffered terrible nightmares she couldn’t seem to wake from. She’d been given an assortment of foul-tasting concoctions to try, but they’d been of little use. The dark circles under her eyes were evidence enough of that.
The only good thing to come of it all was they’d been given new instructors. After the incident with Herzin, Tomias and Fenir had been put in charge of their training. They were an odd pair, but it saved her from ever having to see Herzin again, and for that she was grateful. She still couldn’t believe what had happened and had no desire to have a repeat of that event. As far as she was concerned, no one was getting access to her mind any time soon. They had their work cut out for them, that much was certain.
Cold fingers touched her hand and she jumped, causing far more of a ruckus than she’d hoped. Her palm hit her spoon, sending it skittering across the table, leaving a trail of cold oats as it tumbled away. The noise caught the attention of the remaining Bonded and they all turned to stare. Kirheen sighed, tilting her head up to see who had disturbed her. Isa stood frozen, bright blue eyes wide, hands pulled back near her face as if she’d been burned. Kirheen had grown up with Isa in the Temple of Growth. She was a kind, quiet girl but tended to stick her nose into people’s business if she thought she might be able to help.
“I’m sorry,” she stammered. “I was just checking to make sure you were all right. You haven’t been eating and I just…”
Kirheen grumbled, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment while she tried to gather her thoughts. She didn’t want to explain herself, didn’t want to keep assuring people that she wasn’t broken. With the curious faces of her fellow Bonded looming in her peripheral, she saw little choice in the matter. “I’m fine, Isa. I’m all right.”
The Allseer Trilogy Page 4