Until Then (Cape Harbor)

by Heidi McLaughlin

  “You should’ve stayed in California, Graham.”

  “Hindsight, Grady. It’s a beautiful thing.”

  Grady chuckled. “Hindsight . . . what if I stopped Austin? How different would things be now?”

  Graham was a master at the what-if game. “Okay, let’s play this game,” he told Grady. They had nothing but time to waste, so why not? “Let’s say that night never happens. I stay in California, marry Monica. We probably have kids, and I probably work fifty to sixty hours a week.”

  “Or?” Grady responded.

  Graham laughed. “You’re sadistic. Or, Monica and I don’t work out, and I marry Rennie.”

  “Option two sounds more like it. I never understood why the two of you weren’t together.”

  Graham didn’t know, either, but their future looked promising. “Yeah,” Graham sighed. “Now, to you. Where do you think you’d be?”

  Grady shrugged. “Right before the accident, I was going to ask Monroe if she wanted to go out on a date.”

  “She cares about you, Grady.”

  “I don’t want her to. She needs to move on and stop trying to fix me.”

  Easier said than done, Graham thought. “You can tell her,” Graham said. “I don’t want to have anything to do with that conversation.”

  Grady laughed. “She’s persistent, and I love her as a friend, but she’s the past, and I don’t want to keep living in the past.”

  Grady’s words gave Graham pause. Was that what he was doing with Rennie? Living in the past? Trying to rekindle what they had because it was good then? He hadn’t thought about it, but it made sense. He knew nothing of her life now other than she lived and worked in Seattle and that her boyfriend of over a year was married. Everything about Rennie and Graham came from the past.

  Graham didn’t want to think about his relationship with Rennie, at least not right now. “Have you given any thought to what you want to do when you leave here?”

  “Assuming I’m not going to jail?” Grady asked his brother, who nodded. “I’ll have to talk to Brooklyn, but I think I’d like to get the company up and running again.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. I’d need her permission because she’s the majority owner. Well, Brystol is, but she’s underage, so I have to go through Brooklyn. I wouldn’t be able to have a big crew or anything until I had some capital.” He shrugged. “Maybe she’ll give me a loan to start with.”

  “You sure you can go out to sea?” Graham was concerned about PTSD. As far as he knew, his brother hadn’t been on a boat since the night of the accident.

  “I’m working through some things here. I have to try, at least.”

  Graham agreed, and he liked Grady’s idea a lot. “Let me know when you want to talk to Brooklyn. I’ll go with you. And if you need a couple guys to go out on the boat, I can help. Fishing really wasn’t my thing, but I can do it.”

  “You sure?”

  He was. Graham wanted to support his brother in any way he could, and if that meant putting on a pair of hip waders and getting up when normal people were sound asleep, he would do it. He had done it today to visit Grady.

  Graham spent the better part of the morning hanging out with his brother. He left around lunchtime and made the trek back to Cape Harbor with a lot on his mind. His thoughts focused mostly on Rennie. He loved her, there was no doubt about that, but he couldn’t reason if his feelings were new or residual from the life they had before things changed for them and their friends. It made sense that he wanted to be with her. She made him laugh, and she had been his best friend, but there was a time when he chose someone else over her, which had to mean something. He just didn’t know what. They had spent an amazing weekend together, although, under the circumstances, their feelings could be vastly different because of the situation they found themselves in. It could be Graham and Rennie were destined to be friends with the occasionally added benefit of sex, except Graham wanted more, and he needed to figure out if Rennie would be the one to move forward with in his life plan or not.

  When Graham arrived back at the bar, there was a nice crowd. Per usual, Bowie’s crew was there playing darts, and some locals had started up a pool game. Krista was busy behind the bar, and Brystol was there, waiting tables. He’d placed an ad in the paper and online, looking for two people to start right away. He owed it to Krista to find help and planned to promote her to assistant manager. She had earned it.

  For a brief moment, Graham stood there and looked out over his establishment and smiled. The winter months were hard for any business in a tourist town, but the people of Cape Harbor and its surrounding communities always rallied to support local businesses. Graham was very appreciative of his neighbors.

  He took his spot behind the bar but deferred to Krista. In the past months she had been a stellar employee, and the last thing he wanted to do was step on her toes and mess up the system she had in place. He would follow her lead and do as she told him until Krista passed the bar over to him for the night. When Brystol needed an adult’s help, he was there by her side to take the drink orders. He bussed tables, did some dishes, and filled in where they needed him. And he felt good about it. Because of Grady and the help he’d received, Graham’s outlook on life had changed vastly. He wanted to see things in a positive light, and in an odd way, Grady’s stint in rehab was helping Graham as well.

  Graham went to take a case of bottles to the back, and Krista stopped him. “There’s a guy at the bar, wasted. He came in about thirty minutes ago, asking for you.” Krista nodded toward the man at the bar, whose head was down, and his hand held a tumbler of light-colored liquid.

  Graham knew who it was instantly. “What’s he drinking?”

  “Water, with a touch of scotch. I wasn’t going to add to his level of intoxication.”

  “I’ll talk to him, but we don’t let him leave unless he has a ride.” Graham already had what could be a costly lawsuit dangling in front of him because someone had accused him of not watching his patrons—he didn’t want another one, and he definitely didn’t want one from Rennie’s ex.

  Graham went over to the bar, picked up a dishrag, and cleaned the counter in front of Theo. “Can I get you something to eat?” he asked the man.

  Theo’s head rose slowly, his red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes barely open. He looked like he hadn’t slept in a week, which Graham understood. When he and Monica broke up, he cried the entire way back to Cape Harbor and then vowed to let it go.

  “How about I put an order in for a cheeseburger and some fries? Would you like that?” Graham didn’t wait around for a response. He went to his kiosk and placed the order. He then filled a large glass with ice water and added coffee grounds to a filter to brew a pot of coffee. It was late, and no one would drink it except Theo.

  “I don’t like you,” Theo said when Graham slid the glass of water toward him.

  “It’s okay; I can’t stand you, so I guess we’re even.” Graham walked away. He wasn’t going to get into a tit for tat with a drunk guy, let alone Rennie’s ex. He had nothing to gain by engaging in conversation with the man. Because the bar was busy, he found things to do. He refilled Krista’s orders, collected her tips for her, and filled drink requests.

  When Theo’s burger and fries were ready, Krista handed them to him and then stood next to Graham. “Who is he?”

  “Rennie’s ex.”

  “Damn, he’s taking it hard.”

  “Hey,” Theo shouted over the crowd. Graham turned and smiled.

  “What can I get for ya?”

  “You can tell Renee to take me back,” Theo said. “She’ll listen to you. You’re the only one she seems to listen to.”

  While Graham would love to think the same, it wasn’t true. “Rennie”—Graham drew her name out, knowing how much it bothered her that Theo called her Renee—“is a very independent woman. You should know this after spending the last year and however many months you’ve been together. She makes her own decisions.”

&n
bsp; “I love her, and she won’t see me. I can’t call her, because she changed her number.”

  “Sorry, man. I can’t help you.” Graham turned to walk away, but Theo grabbed his arm and held him in place.

  “Do you know until last summer, I had never been here? I had never heard of Cape Harbor, and then all of a sudden, she’s up here every weekend we’re not together, and all I hear are stories about these people she grew up with but hadn’t seen in years. They’re a priority for her. They’re butting into our lives. Interrupting our plans.”

  Graham pulled his arm free. “Again, I can’t help you.”

  “I know you’re the one who came and got her in Canada. I saw you. I recognized you right away. She didn’t call her friend; she called you.”

  Graham stood there. He had nothing to say to the man in front of him. No, that wasn’t exactly true. He wanted to scold him for cheating on his wife and for hurting Rennie.

  “I’m right, aren’t I?”

  “Eat your burger. I’ll call you a cab.”

  He left Theo there and walked to the back room, where he pulled out his phone and dialed Rennie’s number.

  “Hey,” she said after the second ring.

  “Hey, Theo’s in the bar. He’s drunk. He’s upset. Kind of blaming all of us for ruining your relationship.”

  “He came and saw me the other day at work—”

  Graham interrupted her, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Rennie was silent for a moment. “Not really anything to tell. He came and left right before you called me. He apologized. I told him how he made me feel, and I sent him on his way. I don’t know why he’s there now. He’s the past and not really worth our time.”

  He thought her answer was dismissive and felt she should’ve called and told him Theo had gone to see her. Days into their relationship, and he was already upset with her. He shouldn’t feel this way. “I think he’s looking for someone to blame. He knows I picked you up from the resort.”

  “Oh.”

  Graham sighed. “Anyway, I wanted to let you know. I’m going to call him a cab and send him on his way. I’ll call you later.” He hung up, feeling more frustrated than ever. What in the hell was he doing trying to start a relationship with this breakup so fresh?

  He went back to the bar and saw that the coffee had finished brewing. He poured Theo a cup and handed it to him. “Sober up.” He then went to the bar phone and called the local taxi service.

  Theo took a drink. “I need to get her back.”

  Graham shook his head. “You’re married. I think your focus needs to be on your wife.”

  “She left me too.” He sounded dejected, but it was well deserved. “I’m so in love with Renee. I have to get her back. And you have to help me.”

  Graham rested his hands on the edge of the counter and made eye contact with Theo. “I’m not your friend. I’m Rennie’s. If she doesn’t want to see you, there isn’t anything I can do, nor would I. What you did, what you put her through—it’s inexcusable. You put my friend in such a bad situation, and I don’t blame her for removing you from her life. Hell, I don’t blame your wife either. You need to figure your shit out and leave Rennie alone.”

  He nodded toward the door when the driver walked in. “Your ride is here. Your tab is on the house, but do me a favor.”

  “What’s that?” Theo asked.

  “Don’t ever come back here or to Cape Harbor again. You’re not welcome.”

  Theo laughed. “When she takes me back, I’ll make sure she never steps foot in this place again.”

  “Good luck, man.” Graham cleared away Theo’s food and glasses and turned his back on the guy. He had a business to run and couldn’t waste any more of his time on Rennie’s ex. He had a hard enough time dealing with his thoughts in regard to her and what they were doing. Unfortunately for Graham, the negativity crept in, and he spent the rest of the night wondering what the hell he was doing, not only with his life but with Rennie.

  TWENTY-NINE

  Rennie stood in her kitchen looking at take-out menus. She had tossed the places Theo liked to frequent and kept her favorites. She had poured herself a glass of wine but had yet to take a drink. All week, she had been indecisive about everything, especially Graham. They hadn’t really fought, but she had been a bit of a bitch to him when he called her about Theo. The call had caught her off guard. She never expected Theo to return to Cape Harbor, let alone go into the Whale Spout. She didn’t like that and took her frustration out on Graham instead of Theo. Her doorbell rang, and she looked up, which really didn’t do her any good since she didn’t have a clear line of sight to the door. She set her wineglass down and went to answer.

  “Graham,” she said his name softly. He stood there with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. “Come in.” She shut the door after him and locked it.

  “Before you say anything, I want you to hear me out. I’m sorry for being snippy the other night in regard to Theo. I know you’re dealing with him the way you see fit, and I accept that. I shouldn’t have snapped. I’m sorry.”

  Rennie flung her arms around Graham’s shoulders and smashed her flowers into his chest. “I’m sorry too, Graham.” She looked deep into his eyes and could easily see herself falling very hard and very fast for him. “I’m happy you’re here, but why are you here?” She laughed at her question.

  “I had to see you. I didn’t want to wait until this weekend, because I have to work a ton. I gave Krista the weekend off.”

  “Good—she deserves it.” Rennie took her flowers and held the smashed petals to her nose. “I think I broke them.” She held her hand out for Graham to follow her as she gave him a quick tour. She showed him her guest bedroom, the small bathroom, the living room, the kitchen and finally her bedroom.

  “This is cozy.”

  “I like it. Come on—I was about to order some dinner. Are you hungry?” She walked back toward the kitchen with him hot on her heels.

  “Sure.”

  They stood at the counter and looked at the menus together, finally settling on dim sum. Rennie placed the order while Graham wandered around her living room. When she hung up, she went to him and pulled him toward her favorite oversize stuffed chair. He sat first, and she crawled onto his lap.

  “I’m happy you’re here.”

  “You are?”

  “Absolutely.” She caressed the side of his cheek and leaned in to kiss him. Within seconds, passion ignited between them. “I want you,” she told him, only to have him pull back.

  “Can we talk?”

  She could only nod, because her heart was in her throat.

  Graham adjusted in the seat, turning slightly so he could look at Rennie. He smiled, but she didn’t see his eyes light up like they normally did. “I saw Grady the other day, and he said something to me that got me thinking.”

  “About?”

  “Us. He said it in reference to him and Monroe. Roe has always liked Grady and has cared for him a lot over the years, but he wants her to move on, because she is part of his past. I know his situation is different from ours, but we were all affected by the accident, and I fear that things between us could be residual feelings. The last thing I want for either of us is to jump two feet in and then start to backpedal because we don’t really know each other. I know Rennie Wallace from age sixteen to twenty-two, but for the past fifteen years, minus the last six months, I don’t know the Rennie sitting on my lap, and I want to know. I want to know her more than anything, but she needs to know me too. I’m not the same guy I was all those years ago.”

  Rennie looked away and let his words sink in. She hated everything Graham said but respected him greatly for saying it.

  Graham brought her chin toward him so they could look each other in the eyes. “I want to fall in love with you, Renee Wallace. But I want to do it because it’s right and it’s what we both want. I think rushing into a relationship isn’t healthy for either of us. You’re just coming off a long relationship, and I have
Grady . . .” Graham paused. “I want to be the man you deserve, not the one who has to cancel on you or changes plans because his brother needs a little extra help right now.”

  She cupped Graham’s cheeks and noticed he had tears in his eyes. “I don’t deserve a man like you—I really don’t—but damn I respect the hell out of you right now. Ever since I returned, I’ve had this lingering feeling something was off. Not with you, but us. It’s like we missed a step, and you’re right; we need to date. You need to wine and dine me; show me the world, Mr. Chamberlain, because I’m about to do the same for you. I believe in us, Graham.”

  He pulled her close and held her to his chest, where they stayed until their food arrived. They ate together on her couch and talked a bit more about his session with Grady. When Graham stood to leave, Rennie protested.

  “You can’t leave.”

  “I have to. If I stay, I’m taking you to bed, and that defeats the purpose. I want to be your partner in life, Rennie, not your hookup, and if we have sex, we’ll never figure out if we can hack a relationship together. To me, that’s more important.”

  Rennie stood and stared into his eyes. “When did you become so wise?”

  He pushed her hair behind her ear and smiled. “It was Grady. What he said made sense, and I want us to work.”

  “Me too.” She rose up and placed her lips to his. She kept it chaste, knowing the last thing either of them needed was more temptation. Rennie walked Graham to the door, and they promised to talk later in the week. She stood on her stoop and watched him walk down the street with tears in her eyes. Her heart broke with the thought that they might have missed their chance at happiness together.

  When the sun rose on Monday, Rennie did as well. She went about her morning routine. She showered, applied lotion to every part of her body, drank her coffee, dressed, and did her hair. After Graham left, she had turned off her phone, worked from home on Friday, and spent the weekend curled up on her couch with a blanket, his sweatshirt, and a couple pints of ice cream. They weren’t broken up but were not exactly together. They were going to date, which meant she’d see Graham when she went to Cape Harbor or on the off chance he drove down to visit her. It wasn’t good enough, and she felt like her world had fallen apart in a matter of days. It was the beginning of the year, and she already wanted a redo.