P.S. Never in a Million Years (Cupid in the City Book 1)

by J. S. Cooper

  “Oh, he’s great. I was just talking to him last night, and he was saying he’s so happy that I stayed at the company that he’s thinking about giving me a bonus, and would I rather have a paid trip around the world or a Tiffany’s bracelet for $50,000.”

  “Wow,” Green Eyes’ eyes widened. “I didn’t realize he was quite so generous.”

  “Yeah, I guess he’s generous, you know, because he recently thought he was having a baby and—”

  “He recently thought he was having a baby?” His brow furrowed. “You don’t say.”

  “Well, please keep it hush-hush. It’s actually not meant to be well known because it turned out that it was his ex-girlfriend pretending…”

  “It turned out his ex-girlfriend was pretending to have his baby. But I’m taking it she wasn’t?”

  “Well, yeah. You know,” I licked my lips nervously and looked around. I would have definitely gotten fired if anyone at Winchester Enterprises knew what I was saying. “But you know, that’s his personal business. I really shouldn’t be talking about it. What do you do for a living, anyway?”

  “Uh, maybe we can discuss over dinner one night?”

  “Um, I don’t know…”

  “What, you don’t want to have dinner with me now?”

  “I don’t know. You still haven’t told me your name.”

  “Come to dinner with me, and I will.”

  “How am I meant to come to dinner with you if I don’t know your name?”

  “Well, I have an idea. How’s about you give me your phone number, and I’ll text you?”

  “You’ll text me?”

  “Yeah, or you could give me your email address.”

  “Um, I don’t know.” I knew this was a bad idea, but the guy did have gorgeous eyes, and he did have kissable lips, and what could it really hurt to go to one dinner with him? “Fine, here’s my number.” I grabbed a napkin, pulled a pen out of my purse, and scribbled down my number. “But you probably shouldn’t contact me today or tomorrow because I have some tests and—”

  “You have some tests?” He raised an eyebrow. “What sort of tests?”

  “Oh … I mean I have some tests to give to some of my lower employees, and I really need to focus on that.”

  “I see,” he said. “It really does sound like a busy week for you as president of marketing at Winchester Enterprises.”

  The way he said it made me believe that he didn’t actually believe what I was saying. I mean, who could blame him? I sounded like an imbecile. But maybe on the first date, at the end of it, if it went well, I’d tell him the truth.

  “So, I actually don’t think I have time for this coffee now. It’s been great talking to you—”

  “But why can’t you get your coffee?”

  “I don’t have time, and I really can’t be late today. I’ll see you later.”

  “Bye, Marcia,” he said. “Can’t wait for that dinner.”

  “Me too,” I called over my shoulder as I ran out the door.

  It seemed like every time I saw the guy, I was late for work. There was no way Gloria would understand if I was late today. I don’t even think Finn Winchester himself could save my job if I was late today. I had to get there on time, and I had to ace these tests. Otherwise, I was history.

  History, I thought to myself. H-I-S-T-O-R-Y.

  Twelve

  I waved at Shantal as I walked into the office building, but she didn’t even look at me. There was an odd vibe in the air but I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what was different. I flashed my badge to the security guard and plastered a smile on my face as I entered the training room. I was surprised to see that Gloria wasn’t there. In fact, the room was empty. I looked at my watch and saw that I was one minute late. I was flustered. Was this it, then? Was I done?

  I made my way to the table and pulled out a chair but just stood there, not knowing what to do.

  The door opened and I looked up as a young-ish man hurried into the room with two coffees.

  “Hi, Ms. Lucas?” He flashed me a nice smile.

  “Yes?”

  “Hi, I’m Jasper. I’ll be proctoring the exams today and going over the contracts.” He had a slight accent, and I wondered where he was from.

  “Oh, okay. So Gloria won’t be here?”

  “No, all contact with her is done.” He handed me one of the coffees. “This is for you.”

  “For me?” I looked at him in surprise.

  “Yes, a hot mocha.” He nodded and then reached into his messenger bag. “And a bagel with butter and cream cheese.”

  “Oh, you didn’t have to bring me anything…I was going…”

  “No, it’s okay.” He smiled. “I’ve been notified that Gloria forgot to show you to the cafeteria and breakrooms. We have free coffee and snacks all day.”

  “Oh, wow, that’s awesome.”

  “And if you stay after five, you can order in dinner, on the company.”

  “Wow, that’s a perk.” I grinned at him, studying his dark eyes and short haircut. “Are you in HR as well then?”

  “No.” He shook his head. “I’m with the executive office. I’m one of the executive assistants.”

  “Oh, wow. Cool.”

  “I’m also an attorney, so I’ll be going over everything with you.”

  “Okay …” I was shocked that an attorney would be an assistant.

  “Yes,” He laughed. “My parents weren’t pleased when they heard I was going to be an EA.” He smiled ruefully. “They hoped I’d be a partner by now in a top law firm. I went to Princeton for undergrad and then to Harvard for law school.”

  “Impressive.” My eyes widened. I’d gone to a no-name state school and partied more than I’d studied.

  “You’re from Florida?” He took a seat at the table and placed his briefcase in front of him.

  “Yes.” I nodded. “Central Florida. My mom is Puerto Rican and my dad is Irish American. They actually both grew up in New York; that’s where they met, but they moved to Florida before I was born.”

  “Interesting.” He nodded. “My parents are Nigerian. They immigrated to the States when I was four. They actually moved back a few years ago, but my sister Kemi and I still live here.”

  “Oh is that your accent, then?”

  “It’s a mix of Nigerian, English, and American.” He laughed. “I went to boarding school in England from ages thirteen to seventeen.”

  I studied him, trying to figure out why such an accomplished and successful man worked here as an assistant. And how in hell had I gotten a position in the same office as him? My book-balancing skills were certainly not that impressive. “When I was in college, I took an African history class, and we learned about there being two tribes in Nigeria,” I put in, wanting to say something.

  “Yes, the Yoruba and the Igbo.” He looked faintly impressed. “My parents are Yoruba. In fact, my grandfather was a chief in our tribe.”

  “Wow.” I smiled, feeling sheepish. “Sorry, I keep saying wow. My vocabulary probably doesn’t seem very impressive right now, does it?”

  “Don’t worry, Ms. Lucas.” He smiled at me

  “You can call me Marcia.”

  “Thank you.” He took a sip of his coffee. “Please eat your bagel and relax. I will get all the paperwork ready.”

  “All the paperwork?” I took a sip of the most delicious coffee I’d ever had in my life. “Oh my, this is amazing.”

  “Kenyan beans.” He grinned. “My country is superior, but the Kenyans, they grow some good coffee.”

  “This is to die for.” I took another sip and closed my eyes, relishing the rich coffee. I had no idea what was going on, but I wasn’t going to complain.

  “So would you like to do the vocabulary or the algebra test first?”

  “Sorry, what?” I sputtered and coffee dribbled down my chin. I wiped it away quickly and stared at Jasper. “Did you just say algebra?”

  “Yes.” He nodded seriously. “Mr. Winchester wants you t
o take a vocab test and an algebra test. He also wants me to go over a list of to-do’s for that position.” He cleared his throat and looked down. “And a list of not-to-do’s.”

  “Not-to-do’s?” I raised an eyebrow.

  “Yes, Mr. Winchester is concerned that you may try and make a pass at him or fall for him, and he just wants to ensure you know that this job is not an invitation to anything inappropriate.”

  I took another sip of coffee while I collected my thoughts. “I’m sorry, but is that really necessary? Don’t I have to sign a contract saying I won’t seduce him as well?” I rolled my eyes.

  “Technically the list of to-do’s is contained in the contract. We just need to ensure you understand.” He cleared his throat. “If there is anything that is unclear, you may retain your own attorney.”

  “With what money?” I grimaced.

  “Of course, we would pay.” He smiled apologetically. “Sorry, I know this is highly unusual, but Mr. Winchester is very particular.”

  “He sounds like a paranoid ass—” I pressed my lips together and tried again. “I’ve never even met the man, and frankly, I don’t know why he thinks I would want him. I can get a man much better looking than him. He can only wish I’d be interested.”

  “Well, Ms. Lucas, I certainly understand your sentiments, but if you wish to continue with your employment, you will be required to take the tests and sign the forms.”

  “Continue my employment?” I raised an eyebrow. “Technically, I haven’t even started yet. I’m sorry, but this is ridiculous.”

  “I understand.” He sighed. “Marcia, would you like to continue…?”

  I bit my lower lip. I needed this job. “Yes. Do you have a computer I can use? I’d like to send an email real quick.”

  “Sure, in fact, I will take you to your office.” He stood up. “You can take the tests there as well, and we’ll go over the paperwork later this afternoon.”

  “Okay, sure. Let’s see this office.” I offered him a weak smile.

  “It’ll be okay, Marcia. I’m sure you will love it here.”

  “I sure hope so.”

  “Also, hablas español?”

  “No.” I shook my head. “I never learned Spanish. I wish I did though. I blame my mom for that. Do you speak Spanish?”

  “Si,” he grinned. “Bienvenido a Winchester Enterprises, señorita Marcia Lucas. Puede que no conozcas a mi jefe, pero parece conocerte. No tengo ni idea de por qué te va a hacer estas ridículas pruebas, pero no lo cuestiono. Eres una dama muy hermosa y si yo fuera tú huiría muy rápido. Tengo la sensación de que el Sr. Winchester va a ser una mala noticia para ti. Sin embargo, estoy seguro de que no entiendes nada de esto.”

  “Sorry, what?” I blinked at him.

  “Oh, nothing.” He shook his head and smiled. “Just an old Spanish poem I know.”

  I stared at him for a few seconds. I knew he was lying, and he knew I knew, but there was nothing else I could say. He’d said something about Winchester Enterprises and possibly Mr. Winchester, but I had no idea what.

  “Let me take you to your desk. I’ll let you settle in, and then I’ll be back to administer the tests.”

  “Thank you.” I stood up, grabbing my coffee and bagel. I really wanted to call Susie, but I’d have to wait until I left the office. For all I knew, the rooms were bugged, and I still had bills to pay.

  My office was beautiful. I had a view of the Manhattan skyline, and I could see the Chrysler Building in the distance. I hadn’t expected to get my own office. It was small, but I loved it. A pinewood desk stood in front of the window. On the table sat a new Mac desktop computer and some files. There were some prints of Edward Hopper paintings on the walls, and I immediately felt a kinship with the room. Edward Hopper was one of my favorite painters, right after Picasso.

  I sat in the large black ergonomic chair and spun around. I felt like an executive, and I loved it. I couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to be someone with real power. It would definitely go to my head. I turned the computer on and spun around in the chair, then I jumped up and looked out the door to see if I could see anyone. There was a buzz of chatter in the air, but everyone was in their own offices. I pinched myself to make sure that everything was real. This was absolutely insane. I walked back to my desk and grabbed my phone so that I could text Susie.

  I have an office.

  No way!

  Yes! And it’s gorgeous.

  Send pics!

  Okay. Hold on. I took a photo behind the desk, showing the windows and New York skyline, and sent it to her.

  WOWOW!!

  Right? I grinned at her message. I was about to take a selfie in front of the window when someone knocked on the door. I placed my phone back on the table and turned around.

  “Hi, Marcia right?” Sebastian stood there smiling at me. “I wanted to welcome you to Winchester Enterprises.”

  “Thank you!”

  “Shantal mentioned you’d hoped to have been placed on my team.”

  I groaned inwardly—what else had she told him?—but forced a bright smile. “Oh, she did?”

  “She said you were really interested in product management and sales?” His gaze was inquisitive, and I stared at him blankly. “We have some new products coming on the market in our pet retail space in the next quarter, so we will be looking for more team members then if you think you’d be interested?”

  “Oh, yes. Sounds great.” I beamed even though I had no idea what he was talking about. He really was quite handsome, though. I wondered if I could go on dates with Green Eyes and Sebastian? That would be naughty, but fun, and it wasn’t like they would ever know. “There’s so much for me to learn. Like, does anyone ever get together for drinks after work?” Like, will we ever go for drinks after work?

  “Yes, there’s a Happy Hour every Friday.” He grinned. “You should definitely come sometime.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  “Well, I should get going and let you get back to your work.”

  “Bye, Sebastian.” I gave him a little wave and headed back to my seat. This day was really starting to go perfectly. And then I remembered the tests, and all happiness left my body. There was a very real possibility that I would fail these tests, and then I would be out of a job and out of a Happy Hour flirt with Sebastian. I idly played with the mouse and the screen in front of me came to life. An icon popped up that told me an email account had been set up for me. I clicked in and was taken to my Winchester mail account. I stared at the screen for a few seconds, feeling sorry for myself, and then remembered why I’d come here in the first place. Susie had said I should write out my feelings in an email to get it out of my system. I knew if I went into the tests with this level of anxiety, I wouldn’t be able to focus.

  I took a deep breath and typed out an email to the CEO of Winchester Enterprises, Finn Winchester.

  * * *

  To My New Boss,

  * * *

  You are an asshole. Maybe I will even call you a boss hole. We’ve never even officially met because you’re worried all of your lower assistants will “fall for you and make a pass.” You sent your executive assistant to give me a list of “to-do’s” that were so basic I thought I was in preschool. And let’s not talk about your “never-do’s.” You could only wish I would make a pass. You would be so lucky as to even catch a glimpse of my fine ass. In fact, why don’t you kiss it, instead? Jerk.

  Also, no, I’m not taking a vocabulary or algebra test. Just because you’re the CEO doesn’t give you the right to be pompous and arrogant. And frankly, I saw that photo of you in the newspaper last year; are you cousins with the yeti? Not a good look.

  You can keep your $25 an hour. My self-respect is worth more than that. And no, I’m not interested in any of your other offers.

  Marcia “I have self-respect” Lucas

  * * *

  P.S. Never in a million years would I ever try and seduce you, asshole.

  * * *

&
nbsp; I sat back, chuckling as I reread the email. It felt good to get it all out. He was an asshole and obviously a cocky jerk if he had new assistants sign a contract saying they wouldn’t seduce him. Just because one assistant had tried to trap him didn’t mean everyone was interested in him. I hadn’t even met the man—and frankly, had no interest in meeting him, either. I was just about to delete the email when Jasper walked back into the office.

  “Hey, Marcia,” he walked up behind me, “ready for those tests?”

  “Uhm, yup.” I clicked blindly to minimize the screen so that he wouldn’t see the email I’d typed up. I turned to look at him, my face feeling hot. That had been too close for comfort. I couldn’t imagine what he would have said if he’d seen my email to the big boss. I would have died. It wasn’t like it was for anyone else’s eyes, but he wouldn’t have known that.

  “So I thought we could discuss the setup and then…” He frowned. “Is something wrong?”

  “No, why do you ask?” I was trying to control my breathing, and I might have been sweating a little. I felt like my entire body was betraying my guilt to Jasper.

  “You keep blinking like you have a twitch or something.” He paused. “Oh no, it’s not medical, is it? I’m so sorry for commenting. I should have known better—”

  “No, no.” I cut him off quickly. Could this situation get any more embarrassing?

  “Oh, good.” He smiled. “Shall we sit?”

  “We’re taking the tests here?” I looked back at the computer screen.

  “Uhm, yeah, that’s why I showed you to your office. Are you sure everything is okay, Marcia?”

  “Yes, I just got a little nervous. That’s all.”

  “Don’t be nervous.” He smiled. “I promise you will pass.”

  “I sure hope so.” I took a couple of deep breaths and then sat down. “Sorry, about my nerves. I’ve always tested poorly, and I really want this job, so I didn’t want to fail.”

  “You got this, Marcia.”