by Anna Bradley
She’d refused all offers to dance, had refused several attempts to include her in conversations.
Instead she sat here, moping, watching the entrance even though she knew he wouldn’t come.
Every once in a while, Beatrice came over and tried to rouse her from her self-pity. But it was no use.
Natalia looked up as her friend rushed over once again, her cheeks flushed, her eyes bright with excitement.
“Talia,” Beatrice gasped, dropping into the chair beside her. “What’s going on?”
“What do you mean?” she asked, slightly alarmed at Bea’s giddiness.
“You never told me. And you’re supposed to tell me everything.”
“Told you what?” she asked in bafflement.
“Why, that Ben is back, of course. And that he’s – wait, you didn’t know?”
Natalia’s head jerked around as she desperately hunted for a sign of Ben. But she couldn’t see him.
“Bea, are you sure?”
“Of course, I’m sure,” Beatrice laughed. “I’ve just seen him and – well, oh just come on!”
She jumped to her feet and dragged Natalia to hers.
“Bea – what – “
“Make haste,” Bea interrupted. “Hurry!”
Natalia stumbled but righted herself as Beatrice dragged her through the ballroom, either not noticing or not caring about the attention she was garnering with her actions.
Natalia didn’t particularly care either.
Ben was here? But why had he come back? Why had he left in the first place?
They reached Lord Fortescue’s library in seconds, and Bea wasted no time in pushing the door open and dragging Natalia inside.
“Beatrice, what are you – “
Natalia’s question died on her lips as she looked up and saw Ben standing there, gazing at her, the look in his eyes so tender that it caused a lump to form in her throat.
“Hello.” He grinned that grin that made her heart stop.
“H-hello,” she stammered in response.
“You look beautiful,” he said softly, and Natalia felt her cheeks heat in response.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
Her eyes moved to take in her surroundings, and she saw Ben’s Aunt Elizabeth, Aunt Mary, and her mother dotted round the room.
Beatrice was still holding her hand, and she squeezed it lightly before dropping it and moving closer to – Natalia’s heart stuttered – a vicar?
“I’m getting married,” Ben announced, so casually that it took a moment for the words to sink in. And when they did, a pain unlike any Natalia had ever felt shot through her, and she stumbled away from him, afraid that she’d do something foolish like cry or beg him not to.
“Oh,” she managed to croak. “Well, congratulations.”
Married?
Had he left to find a fiancé? Had he already found one?
“Thank you.” He sounded highly amused, and Talia felt that old irritation rear its head.
“Was there a reason you dragged me in here to tell me this? You know there’s a ball going on outside. This is unpardonably rude.”
She was pleased to hear that her voice came out tart and annoyed. She might be a blubbering mess on the inside, but she wouldn’t show it.
“This won’t take long,” Ben assured her. “You know you stole my jacket?”
The shift in the conversation threw her somewhat, but not enough that she wasn’t shocked at his audacity.
“I beg your pardon?” she gasped. “I did not.”
“I think you’ll find you did,” he answered smoothly. “I gave it to you last week when you were cold, and you never returned it.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. He was a cad, a blackguard. How on earth could she be so stupid as to love him?
“You ran away before I had a chance to return it,” she bit out, knowing that she was in for a world of trouble now that her father would know she was wearing gentlemen’s jackets. “And then I quite forgot I had it,” she sniffed.
He didn’t need to know that she slept with it in bed every night like a complete madwoman.
“No matter,” Ben shrugged. “You can keep it.”
Natalia raised a brow. He’d brought it up in front of his family and hers, just to tell her she could keep it?
“No thank you,” she spat. “I’ll return it tomorrow.”
“I don’t want it,” he answered.
“Well, I don’t want it,” she shot back.
They glared at each other, and Natalia could just imagine the looks being exchanged amongst the other occupants of the room.
“How about this, then?” Ben stepped forward and captured her gaze in that magical, golden one of his. “Keep it, and we’ll call it a wedding present?”
***
Ben watched closely for Natalia’s reaction to his words.
Whilst he was outwardly calm, inside he was a nervous wreck.
They’d made no promises to each other. And this thing between them was only ever meant to be a faux engagement.
It wasn’t Natalia’s fault that Ben had fallen head over heels in love with her.
Her words last week in the conservatory had just confirmed what Ben already knew. Her talk of leaving forever, of their never seeing each other again; it felt as though she had cleaved his heart in two with her words, and he knew he couldn’t, he wouldn’t, live a life without her.
So, he’d left in a race against time, worked like a madman to ensure everything was in place.
Procuring a special licence hadn’t been easy.
And preparations for his estates and holdings were only half done.
But he’d done enough to ensure that he could come back here and make Natalia his wife.
The only thing left had been to inform the bride and hope that she’d agree to marry him.
Aunt Elizabeth had been beside herself when Ben had broken the news that he would likely be leaving England.
He hadn’t expected Natalia’s father to agree to his suit. And he’d been right.
The Russian count had steadfastly refused to give Ben his permission.
“I will tell you the same thing I told my obstinate daughter earlier this evening,” Count Soronsky snapped when he’d agreed to meet Ben at the library. “Natalia is coming home. And she will live in Russia and marry a Russian.”
Ben had wondered briefly at the man’s words. Had Natalia stood up to her father? Argued her case?
If so, it obviously hadn’t worked.
And it had taken all of Ben’s efforts, and a promise that he was sincere in his desire to move to Russia, if that’s where Natalia would be, to secure the man’s reluctant blessing. Though ‘blessing’ was something of an exaggeration.
Ben had asked that the man be present for this, but the count had left the library and hadn’t returned.
“And if she refuses you?” Count Soronsky asked. “What will you do then?”
“I’ll come to Russia and try again,” Ben had said. And he’d meant it, too.
Wherever Natalia was going to be was exactly where Ben wanted to be.
He’d only just discovered how much he loved her, and he had no intentions of allowing her to disappear from his life.
The room was silent, save for the crackling fire in the hearth in front of which the vicar now stood.
He’d begged the man to come to the manor house after his evening’s sermon. Thankfully, the young reverend seemed to be a bit of a romantic and when he’d heard Ben’s story, he’d immediately agreed.
Outside the snow fell in flurries, and inside it felt as though the very room itself held its breath.
Still she didn’t speak.
“Talia,” he began to try again, but just her name spoken aloud seemed to rouse her from whatever state she was in.
“What are you talking about?” she asked, confusion in her ice-blue eyes. “What is this?”
Ben began to wish that he’d had this conversation first with
Natalia in private.
But it was done now, and he had no choice but to lay his heart on the table and hope that she treated it well.
“This is my clumsy way of proposing,” he said quietly, though from the way everyone leaned forward to hear, even the vicar, speaking quietly was ineffectual to say the least.
Her eyes widened then filled with an unbearable sadness.
“Oh, Ben,” she said. “I told you, it won’t work. And now you’ve done this in front of our families.”
“I’m not faking this, Natalia,” he interrupted her, hoping that she could see how sincere he was.
“Just as I’m not faking my feelings for you. Somewhere on this truly foolish, impulsive journey we’ve taken, I lost my heart to you.”
Natalia’s jaw dropped, and he heard a sigh from someone in the room. It must be Beatrice. Possibly the vicar.
“I love you, Natalia Soronsky,” he said simply, sincerely. “I’m completely and utterly in love with you, and I know that this started off as a lie but my love for you is the truest, most pure thing in my life. I love you and I will never stop. So, I’m not asking you to be my fake fiancé. I’m not even asking you to be my real one. I’m asking you to be my wife.”
“B-but you left,” she exclaimed. “And now I have to leave.”
He took a deep, unsteady breath, pulling the licence from his pocket.
“I left to get this,” he said. “A special licence. One that says I can marry you right now, if you’ll have me. I even stopped on the way to pick up a reverend,” he said.
Natalia’s eyes darted to the vicar then back to Ben.
“Ben, I have to go back to Russia,” she sniffed, a tear running down her face. “My father – “
“Your father knows I love you, Natalia,” he assured her. “And he knows that if it means I can be with you, I will gladly move to Russia and make my home there.”
“You can’t mean that,” she gasped.
“Of course I mean it,” he replied, reaching out to grasp her upper arms. “Don’t you understand? I don’t care about my title or my holdings. I don’t care about living in England.”
He moved one hand from her arm to cup her chin, gently raising it so her eyes met his own.
“I thought Aunt Elizabeth had taken leave of her senses when she insisted that I marry.” He smiled wryly at the aunt who now hung on his every word. “But I see now she was wiser than I gave her credit for. A man needs a wife. A partner in life. I didn’t realise that until I fell in love with you and tried to imagine my life without you.
“It would be quieter, no doubt,” he continued. “And infinitely more peaceful.”
He watched a spark of anger light in her expressive eyes.
“But it would be boring and lonely and most of all, loveless. Because I know my heart, Natalia, and it could never belong to anyone but you. I’ll never love anyone but you. And I’d live on the moon if it meant I could be by your side.”
The anger left the blue depths of her gaze, washed away in a flood of fresh tears.
“Now please,” he laughed, though the sound was strained. “Much as I know you enjoy torturing me, have mercy and put me out of my misery. What do you say?”
His heart hammered as he awaited her answer, and the sudden radiant smile that appeared through her tears set the organ soaring.
“I love you, Ben,” she cried. “I love you so much.”
“Thank God,” he muttered before sweeping her into his arms and taking her mouth in a searing kiss, ignoring the protests and coughing fits.
Finally, he let her up for some air.
“So, does that mean you’ll marry me?” he asked.
Her eyes lit with mischief and God, how he loved that about her.
“You weren’t really supposed to be my groom, you know,” she reminded him. “It was quite by accident.”
“Is that a yes?” he asked, desperation tinging his voice now.
“Of course it’s a yes.”
They all turned at the deep, booming, accented voice coming from the door, and Natalia’s father stood eyeing them wrapped in each other’s arms.
“She will marry you.”
Natalia smiled at her father, rushing forward to kiss his cheek.
“Thank you, Papa,” she whispered.
Her father patted her hand before releasing it.
“Come along then,” he’d said brusquely. “Let’s get this over with. You both have a lot of packing to do,” he finished with a steely glare at Ben.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“The Christmas Eve ball didn’t turn out to be our engagement ball after all,” Ben whispered in Natalia’s ear as he swept her round the dance floor.
They waltzed as though they were the only two people in the room.
“I suppose our wedding ball is just as good,” she answered, her heart galloping in response to the look in Ben’s eyes.
The vicar had made short work of marrying them only an hour ago and after quiet family felicitations, Aunt Elizabeth had taken great delight in announcing their wedding to her guests.
“I’ll never top this next year, you know,” she’d said sadly but soon rallied and was even now accepting praise on what a marvellous party this had turned out to be.
Natalia glanced around and saw that they were the subject of avid attention.
“Should we go outside?” she asked her husband. Husband! She’d never tire of saying that.
Her mind was still reeling from the events of the past hour. Ben’s wonderful words, his proposal, the fact that he loved her just as much as she loved him.
And now she was his wife.
It was a dream come true. A Christmas miracle.
“I’d love to,” Ben answered. “Only, you’ll get cold again and take my jacket. And since you take great delight in being a thief and keeping my clothing, I’m not sure it’s such a good idea to keep giving them to you.”
Natalia laughingly protested against his outrageous words.
But the laughter died in her throat as Ben’s eyes suddenly darkened.
“Of course, now that you’re my wife, I can’t think of much use for clothes, yours or mine.” He grinned that wolfish grin that sent fire scorching through her veins.
Natalia swallowed loudly, trying to get her overreactive body under control.
“I-I’m not exactly prepared for a wedding night,” she whispered. “And I can’t stay here. I don’t have any night things.”
Ben chuckled loudly, drawing even more attention to them.
“What did I say about clothing? That applied to night clothes, as well as day.”
“But – but there are things we need,” Natalia insisted, her cheeks heating.
Ben reached up and ran his knuckles across one scalded cheek, his hand still clasped around Natalia’s smaller one.
“I don’t need anything but you, my love,” he said sincerely. “I don’t want anything but you.”
He pulled her scandalously close, either not noticing or not caring about the watching crowd.
“And if we leave now, we’ll have hours before the party ends.”
He leaned down and placed a kiss against the racing pulse at her neck in full view of his aunt’s guests.
As it turned out, it took far longer than Ben was happy about for them to escape the ballroom.
Every step they took was intercepted by well-wishers and debutantes determined to hear the details of their secret love.
“So secret, even we didn’t know about it,” Ben whispered in her ear.
“I knew,” she answered softly. “I knew from the first moment you kissed me.”
Ben looked down at her, his eyes boring into her own.
“That’s it,” he said suddenly. “No more felicitations. If anyone stops you, ignore them.”
For the second time that evening, Natalia found herself being practically dragged from the ballroom.
Ben’s expression seemed fierce enough to deter even the most determined congra
tulations and finally, they were blissfully alone.
Ben led her to the rooms he kept in the west wing of the house.
“Far away from any relatives and guests,” he growled as he locked the door with a decisive click.
Reaching out, he pulled Natalia into his arms.
“I knew when I kissed you, too,” he said, his hands making a slow, torturous exploration of her body. “In fact, I think I probably knew before then. Though I admit it took me a while to realise. Pretending to be in love with you distracted me from the headaches you gave me,” he winked. “I was free to notice how witty, and intelligent, brave and beautiful you are. The more beautiful you got, the less annoying I found you.”
“I’m sure that’s not true,” Natalia managed, though she was already quite breathless.
Ben bent his head to trail kisses along her jaw, to her ear where he stopped to whisper.
“No, you still annoyed me,” he admitted, and she slapped him playfully on the arm.
“But you’re growing on me, sweetheart.”
“You’re a cad,” she responded, though her voice was strained, even to her own ears.
Ben’s hands moved to her back, and he began to slowly undo the pearl buttons of the gown.
“I should have refused you. Demanded that you be nothing more than my fake fiancé.” She tried to sound severe, but she was fighting a losing battle, and they both new it.
“There’s nothing fake about how much I adore you. There’s nothing fake about this,” Ben assured her before capturing her lips in a hungry kiss. “I think that’s quite enough talking for now,” he continued when he let her up for air. “What do you say, wife?” He grinned.
Natalia grinned right back.
“I say, so far you’re doing very well for an accidental groom,” she said.
EPILOGUE
The ballroom was festooned in swathes of white material and hundreds of white candles decorated with springs of holly and ivy.
“Your aunt has outdone herself, truly,” Natalia said as she took in her surroundings.
They had only just arrived back from Russia mere days ago, having promised Aunt Elizabeth they would be home for the holidays.
Upon their arrival, they’d announced that they were staying in England so Ben could oversee his estates and business ventures once again. Aunt Elizabeth had been delighted, her excitement exceeded only by Bea’s, and had set about at once transferring Ben’s funds to him.