Highway to Hell

by Lydia Anne Stevens

  "Nothing but a headache and an eternity of torment when I get caught.” I might as well make with the being upfront about everything because chances are when Damien catches up with us, he's actually going to be able to do what I threatened.

  "There's the optimism I assumed all of your kind has.” Maybe spine isn't the right word. Sassy ass is more fitting.

  "I have a job and I didn't do it.” I point to Lowell.

  "You could have. Why is he so special?"

  "I was feeling nice.”

  "How do you expect anyone to help when you lie? Something in your life caused you to end up where you are, but it also caused you to pause today and instead of looking away and sticking your head in the sand, you chose to…Habakkuk 1:13.”

  I am so not looking for a sermon right now.

  "Your eyes are too pure to look on evil and you cannot tolerate wrongdoing. Then why do you tolerate those who are treacherous? Why are you silent while one who is wicked swallows up one who is more righteous than himself?" James reads the passage then tosses a bible at me he hadn't put away. I toss the CSB back.

  "I don't need a sermon, padre.”

  "What did you stand by and watch without interceding in your human life?"

  I stand up and move away, not ready for this pow-wow yet. There must be some way we can get to those pages to get the mark off. But they are most likely in Hell, close to Lucifer. I can't imagine he would leave them in the human world unless there is some unwritten rule about artifacts touched by humanity not leaving this plain. Maybe it's why portals had to be created for me and the girls to pass through? I figure it goes down like this, I bust back into Hell. Search the circles and eventually convince myself they would be no other place than in records, which is a whole other dimension of the Underworld I have only seen once. It's the written word of anyone who has ever passed through. Mostly it's written on human flesh and apart from the stink factor, it creeps me out. I mean come on, who wouldn't it creep out? Maybe Himself is keeping them cataloged in there?

  I shudder thinking of the nightmarish system of organization in Satan’s library. The Dewey Decimal system was bad enough. If only there was someone who knew their way around the Underworld and would also relish breaking into records and getting into all kinds of trouble. Apart from almost every demon ever, except for myself, I guess, I don't see Auntie J doing it. I pull out my phone and dial. Taking this mother of all stupid plans out for a test ride.

  "Twice in one day? You really do want the beat down coming to you,” Damien's voice purrs on the other end. He would have been one Helluva Hellcat.

  "Do you want to piss off your Dad with me?" I leave Lowell and James in the stuffy office and walk back down the hall to the parking lot.

  There's radio silence on the other end, as I knew there would be. This is not the question Damien is anticipating I am going to ask. Threatening, definitely. Begging, maybe, but not asking for an alliance. There's no one in the hallway, which is just as good. When I step outside and breath in the fresh air, I feel like all the heavy from the study session lightens up a little and I can breathe again. I take a deep breath and drop my proposition on him.

  “Call off the manhunt and I'll make a deal with you.”

  8

  I need the negotiations with Damien to go in our favor. I've got no doubt he's already cooking up a scheme to ruin me, but he's been crafting the conniving a lot longer than I have, so points for being seniority. What better way to get what I want then by getting Damien to pardon my transgression of going against Hell’s rules? Damien knows Hell. He also probably has a pretty good idea where I can get what I need. Ergo, project persuasion is formed. I also have the nagging suspicion he wants something from me. It’s called leverage.

  I leave Lowell under the care of James, despite his protests. The last thing I need is for the inevitable sound advice from an inebriated idiot. Let's face it, drunk people always have something to say.

  I pull onto the highway and open up Sugar, letting her purr under me as I make time to the Devils Canyon. I'm stopping off my trek northwest to pick up my girls. The ride is serene with dusk about to settle over the horizon like a comfy blanket and the stars peek out in a whisper behind the night sky.

  "What's the word?" Leo answers on the second ring when I call and I breathe a sigh of relief.

  I'd been worried, not having heard from any of them for most of the night. Giving a damn is not good for my blood pressure. I never let the Hellcats know just how much I care. It would go to their heads and then we'd be forced to have the God-awful girl-to-girl chats, and I'm just not one who’s down for the chic-flick moments. I'm more the kind who wants my bitches to know I love ‘em, and if necessary, I'll bust some heads if they ever step out of line.

  "I made a deal with Damien.” I sit in the pull off along Interstate 84. It took a while to get out of traffic in Salt Lake City, but once I was on the open road, I felt the little taste of freedom I constantly crave. I rode for a while, letting the last twenty-four hours sink in. I'd been going on full tilt, balls to the wall all day, and now I have time to think it all through, I'm straight up mad as a viper that's been stepped on. Where does Damien get off making my afterlife so miserable? Why hasn't Auntie J called me back? Since when in the history of Hell, has a colossal fudge-up this big ever happened? Has it happened? I honestly don't know. I'm sure with the sheer amount of souls passing through Purgatory, there must have been at least one who didn't deserve it. I can't help but wonder whatever happened to them and what will happen to Lowell if I fail at this snowball's chance. It isn't like there's a playbook where I can read the rules and cry major foul.

  Why hasn't Lucifer stepped in? I mean, it's his job, isn't it? He's the dude when push comes to shove, word is law in his domain. Isn't he around to step in when someone pisses in his morning Cheerios and sets the tone all wrong for the day with crap like this? I know I'd be raging if I had one job and someone busted in, messed my workflow up, and then walked out again. So why hasn't he come for me? Or Damien. I figure, in all this big old grand scheme bull, there's got to be a master plan somewhere. Is he just another player in the game? What if he doesn't hold the schematics and by rescuing Lowell's soul, with or without the interference of Lucifer, I decimate and tumble that house of cards? Playing in the sandbox of the big man upstairs, and without his green light, has never been my intention.

  I work myself into a case of the crazies with all the merry-go-round in my head. I eventually have to check out mentally and just drive, because otherwise, I'm just going to work myself into such a state of anxiety it will make Black Friday Door Buster fanatics look like they're rocking the Buddha vibes.

  "Are you out of your friggin' mind?"

  At least, my girl, Leo will call me on my crap when I'm emulating the emo side of my femininity. Mum always said the best way to get a dude was through his stomach. Since I don't plan to cook for Damien, it leaves the other way, which is, well, yeah.

  "I am not having sex with Damien,” I snap at my phone.

  Mum had some strange ideas when it came to life's big lessons, but like the candor from someone who's sauced, there was a gritty but straight up code she lived by. To say men respond to food and sex might be mostly accurate. I suppose it isn't PC to say all men respond to those two things. Even in Hell, you must be careful not to offend anyone. Which I think is asinine, but I'm beginning to accept the fact someone has scribbled all over my rulebook in permanent marker.

  I took one from Mum's playbook and appealed to Damien's basic needs. He's been bugging me since I got in the Chasm about falling in with him, so I put that very thing on the table tonight. There's some saying about not playing all your cards at once, but I'm a pragmatist. I only have the one ace in my hand to play. It's all or nothing and I'm on my way to find out if he accepts my offer or if I'm walking into the very trap I figure he is going to set up for me.

  "How can you even consider him? Gross!"

  I sigh. “Leo, I get you don't play his
way, or with any male, for that matter. But Fae and Tabby's first thoughts were similar to yours and I explained to them too when I texted them to meet up. Tag teaming with him for whatever it is he's after is my offer. Nothing more, nothing less. We're riding to see if he even agrees in exchange for what I want.”

  "Don't sell out, Trina. He's been after your tail since you got in.”

  "You think I don't know that? What am I going to do, Leo? It's only a matter of time before Lucifer catches up to me or the Hounds do on his behalf. Why not crawl in?" I raise my hand and let it fall back on my leg.

  "Because you're better than him. Didn't you learn from Zeke?" Her tone is soft, but the words hit like a freight train.

  I look out to the overpass at Devil's Canyon. The hills are shadowed in the fading light of the sun. Kind of like my bravado. I'd never admit to her or my other Hellcats, but this is one of those rare times I'm afraid. I was afraid when I was murdered, afraid of what was coming when I looked up the barrel of the gun. The dying part was easy. It was what came after. The gray mist terrified me more than the blast of the revolver and then the darkness came.

  When I opened my eyes again, the fog was like a blanket, weighing me down and I ran. I ran so hard my lungs burned and there was still just nothing. It changed when the shadow cut through the fog. I find it interesting looking back at it now, I was afraid of the shadows themselves, but not what was inside the dark places because more often than not, my own imagination concocts fears a lot less bad than what is actually there. Auntie J gave me a few clues about what was in those shadows. She herself was on the other side of the shadow and it wouldn't be until later I would learn I should have been pants pissing, heart pounding, terrified of her. But I wasn't. I was relieved I wasn't alone in the mist and fog. There was hope in the reprieve of having to face eternity alone. I had been afraid once when I was a child and the cruel lesson of what my Mum was and what I meant to her, or didn't, was something I came to understand. But now, facing Damien and my own inner demons, I feel the knot in my throat again.

  "I guess I walked into that one, huh? Yeah, I learned from Zeke. It's because of him I never would have considered Damien otherwise, but what other options do I have?" I drum my fingers on the right handlebar. I need Leo to see why this is the only solid plan if we're going to make it through. “The info we need, he has access to, and we don't stand a hope and a prayer in getting it without his help.”

  I can hear Leo shuffling on the other end of the line. She knows the risk I'm taking in putting this out on the table. If Damien does backstab me, I'll be suffering an eternity alongside Lowell. If he does help me and I save Lowell's soul, I'll accomplish my goal and still end up suffering for eternity at the hands of Satan. But what totally gets my goat is where is Zeke in all of this? He's about to kick it if the men at the Sloshed Sloth were after him to begin with. I can't help but wonder what rock he's hiding under because even I can't deny the most probable outcome of this is I'm going to need him to transfer the mark from Lowell's soul to his own where it belongs.

  "I don't like it, Trina.” I can hear Leo's kickstand click up on the other end of the line.

  "Which is why I need you here to have my back when he tries to pull a fast one. Get here.” I thumb my phone off, knowing she is on her way.

  She's the closest one to me on the highway, but Tabby and Faline roll up first. They park on either side and kill their engines. Neither one says a word, mostly because I nod at them in greeting, but make no attempt to chitchat from then on. I watch as the sun sets behind the hills and the valley is thrown into a purple and blue haze. It's the perfect cloaking mechanism for Damien. He'll see us riding up, if he hasn't spotted us already, and we won't be able to see him ride down into the valley. He'll most likely jump from one hotspot to another and pull out right near Devil's Canyon. There's no sign of thunderclouds, but either way, he still has the element of surprise. I have no doubt he can pull the stealth maneuvers if he needs to.

  Leo is the last to ride up and having my gang eases some of the tension in my chest. There's been one thing I have been sure of in the last couple of years and it's their loyalty. I'd thought I had the support from Auntie J, but with her going ghost through this whole thing, I can't be sure of anything anymore Is she in trouble with Satan? Is she being called in for my disobedience? If Auntie J is in the hot seat because she put her trust in me and my ability to achieve atonement, I might never forgive myself, even if by some miracle Heaven and Hell do. She stuck her neck out and took a risk throwing down for me and this opportunity. I can’t help but feel guilty if she’s now in some sort of trouble because of my decision to take a stand. I have no way of verifying any of this though, which is what is maddening because if she’s in Hell’s hot seat, isn’t that just going to burn her ass? I can only imagine the look of disappointment on her face when I figure this all out and get back. It makes my stomach roll thinking about it, so I shake myself and put my worries to rest for now. Prioritizing what I can and can’t control is what is going to see this all through to the best outcome that can come of it.

  Leona doesn't even bother cutting her engine. Her headlight would have given us away, so I figure there's no point in stalling this shit-show any longer. I start up my Sugar one more time and let loose with the full effects of my demon demographics. My tail whips out behind me. My claws elongate and my eyes catch fire. I can feel the heat in my sockets because it is the same inferno encasing the remnants of my soul. My fangs protrude as I grin while my gang suits up.

  I kick Sugar into gear and pull away from the turnoff, back onto the highway, and ride down into the valley. About halfway down, I hear the crack and boom from thunder and lighting. About a football field length away, four motorcycles appear through the veil between the mortal realm and Hell.

  Damien and the Hellhounds ride toward us at full speed, but I don't back down from this game of chicken. I split his crew with my own, and Damien and I pass each other on the centerline of the highway. The whoosh of air threatens to blow Sugar off the road, but I hold tight to her handlebars and keep her ass-end aligned with her front as the blowback shakes her frame.

  The Hellcats flank me left, right, and behind in a diamond pattern, and his Hounds and the succubus have to veer out around. Damien pulls to the right at the last minute and I'm pleased to see the annoyance on his face when I pass by. Good. A woman has to set her expectations on a first date and most men I used to date didn't mind if I enjoyed being on top.

  I circle back around when the highway splits into a crossroad. My gang follows suit but break from the diamond pattern to form a line. We ride up to Damien and company and fall into a circling pattern for a few turns before he and I break free and face off in the center. The Hounds and the Hellcats close ranks around us as I flick out my kickstand with the toe of my boot and let my Sugar rest, leaning to the side, but I don't get off. This is a first date full of intrigue and seduction, as dangerous as it is, but he can at least get off his bike first and present front and center like a gentleman.

  Damien leans back, taking his sweet time, and I get the tactic. He gets off of his bike and looks back at Phil, as if he's looking for an answer to something. It's unusual because normally he turns to Doug and Dick for silent communications. Phil shakes his head and Damien turns back to me.

  “Where's the mark?"

  I shrug. “Zeke? I have no idea.”

  Damien's eyes flash red. It isn't red like flames, but a mix of crimson and scarlet, like blood. I think they might be creepier than my own.

  "You are in no position to play games, Catriona.”

  My spine tingles when he uses my full name and I can feel my tail twitch. I've really stepped in it this time. "Did you think I would be stupid enough to bring Lowell tonight?" I lean forward on the handlebars of my bike.

  Damien grins, flashing me some teeth. "I think you would have been smarter to--"

  "Enough, Damien. Are you going to make a deal or not?" My temper sometimes gets the best
of me and being put on the spot in front of his crew and mine isn't doing a whole lot for my patience level.

  "Touchy, touchy.” The smile he gives me is all teeth and no mercy this time. He's going to make this process as painful as possible. The bastard. “If I grant you the time to get in and search for what you're looking for, what do I get in return?"

  I grit my teeth until my jaw hurts. His boys are snickering and I can feel the tension rolling off my girls in waves. Take one for the team, Trina. Yay. I think my inner cheerleader might be drunk or broken because I don't feel the slightest bit encouraged. “I told you on the phone what I'd give you.”

  "Yeah, but I want it spelled out. What exactly you are willing to do?" He folds his arms across his chest.

  He's waiting for me to take sex off the table and I'm having a hard time swallowing the pride pill. It's like one of those horse-pill vitamins the Andersons used to make Fiona and I take. They knew damn well they couldn't be good for us if our bodies were having a hard time gulping them down, but no. With Damien though, it's all in or not at all.

  "I will help you take over Hell. To deal with your Daddy issues, I'll help you defeat Satan so you can rule. In exchange, Lowell walks away, mark free. Saving him is the only thing that matters.” I feel like I can retain some of my pride in knowing I'm trying to put someone else first, even if it means my dignity takes a hit if I must crawl into bed with Damien.

  I see his boys snicker and I clench my fists in my lap, digging my claws into my palms. I wait for him to respond and he rubs his jaw as he thinks how to rope me in further.

  He doesn't look back when his boys start to whoop and cheer, and I thank whatever God or deity is listening to this madness because I manage not to blush when I nod my head. It's not good enough for him though.

  “You’ll rule by my side. You'll be the queen of Hell and I'll be the king and as long as you agree to all the benefits that go along with the arrangement, Lowell walks free. Do you agree to those terms, Catriona?"