Montana Wishes

by Amy Vastine

  “So it’s official? You’re going to get married here?”

  He rocked back on his heels. “I guess so. She really loves the wedding barn. Hadley talked about how great it was in the summertime.”

  “Well, at least she’s back to getting married in the summer.”

  “Yeah.” Blake stared down at his feet. “Is there anything you and I need to talk about? Is there something you want to tell me that you haven’t told me?”

  There it was—the question that Lily had planted. “Not that I can think of. I know today was a little chaotic, but it sounds like you and Nadia worked things out. I want you to be happy. I want you and Nadia to be happy.”

  He nodded. “Good. Thanks. Maybe we’ll see you at dinner.”

  “Why would I not see you at dinner?”

  “I’m thinking Nadia would like something a little more intimate than a group dinner in the dining hall.”

  “Right.” Amanda would bet money that Nadia was going to pick the intimate dinner, meaning sans Amanda. That was a no-brainer. “Thanks for bringing over my stuff. I appreciate it.”

  “Anything for you, Harrison.”

  How she wished that was true. Instead of telling him what she truly wanted, she let him leave and go back to his fiancée. She pictured Nadia greeting him, kissing him hello and thanking him for getting Amanda’s stuff out of their cabin. She imagined Blake cradling Nadia’s face and peppering it with kisses. Anything for you, Nadia.

  The sharp pain in her chest wouldn’t go away unless she got herself out of there. Amanda decided to go check on Pirate. When she got to the clinic, she found Tyler there instead of Ethan.

  “Hey, I heard we owe you a big thank-you for helping out with this pony,” Tyler said when he saw her.

  “I didn’t do much except feed him some hay to keep his mind on other things so the rest of them could cut him loose.”

  “It takes all hands on deck around here, so we appreciate it. I wanted to make sure he was in good shape before I break the news to Katie.”

  “Conner seemed pretty worried about that, as well.”

  “She takes it personal when the animals get injured on her watch. She’s been thinking about hiring someone to take over as forewoman when she goes on maternity leave, and I think hearing there was broken fencing that we overlooked is going to push her to do that sooner rather than later.”

  Amanda stroked Pirate’s head. He was a sweet horse. “She sounds like me. I tend to take it very personally if something doesn’t go the way it should. I can’t even read reviews online about our boxes because if someone is unhappy, I fret about it for days.”

  “Online reviews are the worst. Hadley and I probably spend a couple hours a day replying to online reviews. It’s not so bad when they say something nice, but those bad ones? Man, they kill me.”

  Hadley and Tyler sounded so much like Amanda and Blake if Amanda and Blake could be together as husband and wife. If Amanda could have children like Hadley could. If there wasn’t a Nadia tempting Blake away.

  “You can’t make everyone happy,” she said, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. The tears started running down her face.

  “Are we still talking about reviews? Are you okay?” Tyler sounded afraid of the answer.

  “Can I tell you something? Something I can’t tell anyone in my real family? Not that you aren’t my real family. I know that biologically you’re my cousin, but you know what I mean, right?”

  Tyler didn’t hide his confusion, but nodded. “I get what you mean.”

  “I’m in love with my best friend,” she admitted. Tyler stared back at her like a deer in headlights. “I know we said we were just friends and we are. We totally are. I don’t want you to think that he’s been unfaithful to Nadia. He doesn’t even know I’m in love with him. He thinks I want to be friends. He once told me he loves me, and I told him it was never going to happen. And he believed me. He didn’t even fight me about it. Part of me wonders if he said it and then regretted it, and then when I told him we had to be friends, he was relieved and was happy to go back to how things were. I didn’t mean it, though. I told him that because I know he wants to be a dad. I know he wants to be like you and all of your brothers, with their pregnant wives and all the kids running around. That’s his dream. It’s all he wants out of life—a big family.”

  The tears were really coming now, but it felt good to say this out loud. She’d had these thoughts in her head for so long that once she opened the gates and let them out, they just kept coming like an avalanche.

  “I can’t get pregnant due to medical reasons. In fact, next month, I won’t even have a uterus. No one knows that except my doctor. I haven’t even told my sisters. None of them. I’m embarrassed. I don’t want them to know because when they know, they’ll look at me different. Forever. They won’t talk to me the same. They’ll constantly worry about hurting my feelings, so they won’t want to tell me when they get pregnant. They won’t be sure if they should invite me to be with them when they have a baby. They’ll be sad for me, but they won’t want me to know they’re sad because they’ll know that it will make me sad that they’re sad.”

  “Should I get you some tissues?” Tyler pointed toward the exit. “I feel like you need tissues. And maybe Hadley. She’s a lot better when it comes to feelings and how to say the right thing when someone is having big feelings. You’re definitely having big feelings right now.”

  “Please don’t tell your wife. Hadley is like the perfect person. You literally married the perfect woman. She does it all. My sister loves her. She’s pregnant and will probably be an amazing mom. I’m fine.” Amanda wiped her face with her shirtsleeves. “I’m fine. I just needed to tell someone all of that. I couldn’t hold it in anymore and I didn’t want it to come out in front of Blake or Lily.”

  Tyler touched her elbow. “I’m sorry. I wish I was better at this kind of stuff. I have always been the guy who pretended he didn’t have any feelings. It was supposed to be easier that way. Then I met Hadley, and my feelings got too strong and there was no pretending they didn’t exist anymore.” Tyler took off his cowboy hat and scratched at the back of his neck. “All I can tell you is that as hard as it was to talk about my feelings, once I let the person I loved know they existed, it got better.”

  Amanda shook her head. She could never tell Blake everything. “I can’t tell anyone else. Telling you really helped. That’s all I needed. Thank you. Please don’t say anything to anyone. Please.”

  “Of course. I would never tell anyone. I promise,” Tyler said, showing his palms like he was being confronted by a dangerous animal.

  “Thank you. Sorry for dumping all this on you. You’re a really good listener.”

  She left the clinic and spotted Nadia standing outside the guest lodge. She couldn’t pretend not to notice her. She had to go over and say something. What she wouldn’t do for a mirror right about now. She had to look like she had been crying. Hopefully, Nadia wouldn’t ask. If she did, Amanda would lie and say seeing the injured horse made her emotional.

  “Nadia,” she called out, crossing the street.

  “Hi, Amanda.” She smiled politely. “Blake went inside to find out how to get a ride into town. We were going to do a little shopping, and then we’re meeting Chance Blackwell and his wife for dinner. He set it all up for me. Wasn’t that sweet?”

  Too bad there hadn’t been anyone to take that bet earlier today. “That’s Blake for you.” He was always paying attention. Listening to what people said and doing what he could to make others happy. She really hoped Nadia appreciated how lucky she was to have someone like Blake love her. “You know, I’m sure you could borrow Lily’s car.”

  “Blake didn’t want to bother her. I figure we’re two grown people—we should be able to call a cab.”

  “That is true. You two have fun. Tell Chance and Katie I said hi.”

>   “Harrison.” Blake jogged down the steps of the lodge. “We’re going to town.”

  “So Nadia said. Have a good time.” She started to move away, but Blake touched her arm.

  “Hey, hold on a second. What’s going on?” He led her away from Nadia. “Have you been crying?”

  It was one thing to tell Nadia a lie, but it was another to lie to Blake. “I’m fine. I was visiting Pirate.”

  He glanced back at the clinic. “Is he okay? Did something happen?”

  She placed a hand on his chest and regained his attention. When his gaze returned to her, she felt her heart skip a beat. “Pirate is good. I was in there talking to Tyler. I got a little emotional recounting the rescue. You know how I am about animals.”

  Blake pressed his lips together and nodded.

  “You two have a good night. I’ll see you tomorrow. Lily invited me to go cake tasting with her and Conner. I don’t know if you and Nadia want to join us or if you two want to do your own thing.”

  “I’ll talk to Nadia about it. See you tomorrow.” He seemed sad, and as much as Amanda wanted to ask him what was wrong with him, she knew she had to let him go. Whatever was bothering him he’d have to share with his future wife. She would be his confidante now.

  That sharp pain was back. Stronger than ever. Confessing everything to Tyler didn’t change the fact that she still had to cope with the changes coming her way.

  Her phone chimed with a text.

  Looking forward to tomorrow. Hope you are too.

  Logan wasn’t Blake, but maybe she could convince herself that it was okay to pretend he could be.

  Can’t wait, she replied. She added a smiley face even though the tears had reappeared in her eyes.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  “YOU HAVE TO try these chocolate-frosted doughnuts. They are the best doughnut you will ever have.” Blake slipped his hoodie over his head and fixed his hair.

  “I don’t eat doughnuts,” Nadia said, coming out of the bathroom. She rubbed her lips together after putting on her lipstick. “Too many calories. Can’t we go somewhere I can get some egg whites and turkey sausage?”

  “We’re on vacation. Try the doughnut.”

  “I don’t like doughnuts. Isn’t there somewhere we can go where you can get a doughnut and I can get egg whites?”

  With that one admission, Blake realized they had never had breakfast together and that was why he had no idea that Nadia did not like doughnuts. Who didn’t like doughnuts? Well, she hadn’t had these doughnuts before, so she didn’t know how amazing they could be.

  He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Can you humor me and come with me to this bakery? Can we do this one thing this one time?”

  “What is your fascination with a doughnut?”

  “I can’t explain it with words. You need to try it. You should have seen Amanda the first time she ate one. You would have thought she’d died and gone to heaven.”

  Nadia stepped out of his grasp. “So this is about Amanda? I should have known.”

  “This isn’t about Amanda. It’s about trying to include you in something that I find enjoyable. Is that so terrible?”

  “Amanda loves the doughnuts, so you want me to love the doughnuts. I’m not Amanda. I don’t save animals. I don’t eat junk food. I don’t have a big family with a lot of drama. I don’t need you to rescue me or save me from all of my problems. If that’s the kind of woman you want, then I suggest you go ask your best friend to marry you.”

  “Whoa. Where did that come from?” He’d been working very hard to be attentive to her. He also didn’t like the way she was characterizing Amanda. She was not some damsel in distress. He did not have to save her. She did not usually have a lot of drama in her life, which was why he was here to support her.

  Nadia stared down at her manicure. “Sometimes it feels like you ask me to do things because you do them with Amanda and you want to mold me into another version of her.”

  Blake had to hold back his laughter because that was not what he was doing. He didn’t ask her to do things because they were things Amanda liked. He asked her to do them because they were things he liked. Just as he tried the things she liked and suggested. Shouldn’t she want to do things that he enjoyed doing? And he could never say it, but the truth was Nadia would never be Amanda. No one could be.

  “I don’t want you to be like Amanda. Amanda is already in my life. I want you to be Nadia. And I’d like it if we shared our loves with each other.”

  He could see that she was biting the inside of her cheek. “Fine. We can try your doughnuts because you love them, not because Amanda does.”

  “This has nothing to do with Amanda. We won’t even mention her the whole time we are eating doughnuts. I’m going to go ask Lily if we can borrow her car. I don’t want to take a taxi again.” Taxis were hard to come by in a small town like Falcon Creek, and Uber wasn’t really much of a thing.

  He knocked on Lily’s door, hoping to see Amanda so he could explain why he was going to the bakery with Nadia alone. She would understand why she couldn’t tag along. He would promise to bring her back her own dozen.

  “Why are you up so early?” Lily asked, still in her pajamas. No Amanda on the couch. Maybe they were sharing the bed.

  “Can I borrow your car? I promise I’ll be back before you guys go cake tasting.”

  “Sure.” Lily spun around and found her purse on the counter. “My sister makes it so much easier to find things.” She handed him the keys.

  “Tell Amanda I’ll bring her back a treat.”

  “Sounds good,” Lily said, shutting the door behind him.

  Georgie was the only Harrison who was a morning person. Lily and Amanda would probably sleep all day if they didn’t have somewhere to go. Nadia, on the other hand, had been up since six o’clock working on something.

  “I promise you will be impressed with this place. It looks like a little hole-in-the-wall, but the food is so good.”

  Nadia was typing on her phone. “I am going to regret leaving San Diego. There is so much going on at work right now.”

  Blake had to refrain from reminding her that he hadn’t asked her to come; she had done that all on her own because of her insecurity.

  He reached over and squeezed her knee. “Well, I appreciate that you wanted to be with me.”

  When they got to the bakery, Blake jumped out of the car and ran around to open Nadia’s door for her. This was their first breakfast date. He wanted her to be impressed. Holding the bakery door open for her, he reminded her, “You only need to eat one, but I don’t think you’ll be able to stop.”

  “What are you guys doing here?” Amanda asked.

  Blake saw Amanda sitting at a table with Logan. They both had two Chocolate Junkie doughnuts in front of them and a coffee. “What are you guys doing here?”

  “Breakfast date,” Logan answered.

  Blake had forgotten all about how Logan had mentioned breakfast the other day. He really had hoped Amanda would back out. “Us, too.”

  Nadia could not look more displeased. She had her back to Amanda and Logan, and ran her tongue over her teeth.

  “I did not know she was coming here with him,” Blake whispered in her ear.

  “Sure.” She didn’t believe him. He knew exactly what she was thinking. She assumed he knew that Amanda was on a date and was showing up to crash it. Had he known she had a date, that was exactly what he would have done, but he wouldn’t have brought Nadia to witness it.

  Blake ordered his doughnuts and coffee, and left it up to Nadia if she wanted to eat there or take it back to the cabin. He didn’t want to force her to stay here with Amanda.

  “Aren’t we going to join your best friend and her date?” she asked.

  Blake glanced over his shoulder. Amanda and Logan were sitting at a table t
hat seated four, but would they want Blake and Nadia to sit with them? He didn’t have to ask because Logan was quick to invite them over.

  “Come sit with us. We’ve got plenty of room as long as you bring your own Chocolate Junkie doughnuts.”

  “He knows I don’t share,” Amanda said before taking a sip of her coffee.

  Blake pulled out Nadia’s chair for her and pushed her in, and then took his seat across from her at Amanda and Logan’s table.

  “I was just telling Logan about how Lily once went surfing with us and challenged those two Australians to a surf competition.”

  “I will never forget,” Blake said, smiling over his coffee.

  “She dropped into that one wave that we both thought was going to wipe her out. That woman has no fear sometimes. I’m pretty sure those two guys will never underestimate a petite blonde woman ever again. I hope Conner remembers not to do that, either.”

  “Conner doesn’t underestimate her. He also doesn’t take unnecessary risks. He can’t because he knows his mom needs him. Conner is the kind of guy people can rely on. Would you say your sister is the same?” Logan asked.

  Blake found it interesting that all Logan wanted to talk about was Lily. Question after question was digging for more and more information about Amanda’s sister. Blake sat back in his chair. He had been so darn jealous, but this was clearly not a date. This was a reconnaissance mission.

  “Let me tell you something about the Harrison women, Logan. All of them have this undeniable spirit. Peyton is fierce. She’s a boss. You don’t mess with her. Georgie is smart. Not regular smart—doctor smart. Hence her being a doctor and all. Fiona is the youngest. She is light. She shines that light wherever she goes. You can’t ignore it. Lily is joy. Lily loves life. She’s good at living it to its fullest. She’s smart, though. She knows not to push things too far. If Conner is the man you make him out to be, they are going to have one heck of a life together. She’ll see to that.”

  Amanda grabbed his hand under the table and gave it a squeeze.

  Logan nodded. “That makes me feel a lot better.”