Surprise Double Delivery

by Therese Beharrie

  She thought about it the entire drive to the Institute. Once she got there, she made sure there wasn’t a trace of her crying on her face. She had a feeling Benjamin would pounce on it if he saw it. Which turned out to be a fruitless concern anyway, since he wasn’t there.

  ‘He must have what you had,’ Cherise said with a knowing look. Alexa murmured in agreement. She had no choice but to. She’d told Cherise she had a twenty-four-hour bug, which seemed like a half-truth. But she knew that what she had wasn’t contagious. She also knew Benjamin well enough that she could piece together what had happened.

  When he’d told her about his day the night before, he’d been excited, but restrained. That restraint had come through most strongly when he was relaying the more fun parts of the day, as if he’d felt bad. The fact that he wasn’t here told her he did feel bad. It made her think the reason he was at her place last night had been because he’d felt bad, too.

  She set it aside as she spent the day with Cherise. At one point, her prospective chef pointed out something Alexa was doing poorly. Alexa thanked Cherise, adjusted, and realised that, while it had helped in some ways, it hadn’t in others. So she coached Cherise through doing it her way, and Cherise was pleased with the ending.

  ‘Maybe we can put it together and come up with a technique that could give us the best of both worlds.’

  ‘Yeah, that would be great,’ Cherise said with a bright smile.

  She smiled back, and wondered if Benjamin had felt the same glow of appreciation at connecting with Cherise. Her heart skipped at the thought. Not at its content, but that she’d thought it at all. That she’d thought about him at all. It was dangerous; more so because the thoughts were accompanied by a soft, squishy feeling in her chest that she had no name for but made her feel warm and safe.

  But how could she feel safe when even feeling that told her she was in danger? It was a conundrum, one she made no effort to clarify, even when she told herself to. She set it aside again, tried to focus on the day with Cherise. She felt worn at the end of it, her legs aching and her back, too, although it was much too early for her to be feeling that way. Then again, those were normal, non-pregnancy feelings after a long day. Today had seemed long, despite the fact that it was shorter than most days for her. Maybe being pregnant meant the length of what was long would change.

  It didn’t bode well for all she had to do before she went on maternity leave. Or should she even go on leave at all? She’d thought it would be a good idea to get to know her babies, but now it felt as if she was leaving her first baby, her restaurant, exposed. It was her responsibility to make sure it wasn’t exposed. The fact that she hadn’t meant that she’d...failed.

  She drove home with that troubling thought racing in her mind. When she stopped, though, she didn’t find herself at her home, but at In the Rough. It was the first time she’d been there since Lee had bought the building. She’d refused to go, on principle, despite her parents calling her stubborn. But the day that she’d wanted to show them her building, and they’d told Lee about it, had changed things for her. Their disappointment no longer hurt as much as it had. Or maybe it did hurt, but it didn’t cripple her any more.

  She still tried with them: a phone call every couple of weeks, a dinner once a month, telling them important news. But the truth was that she didn’t want them in her life as much any more. Especially when they insisted on having Lee be part of the package.

  Slowly, she climbed out of the car, staring up at the sign as she did. Black lettering flickered at her against the brick façade, courtesy of a faint white light outlining the letters. The front of the restaurant itself was all glass, allowing her to see the patrons laughing and enjoying themselves.

  She took a breath and walked into the restaurant. She took in the dark wooden feel of the place, noted the red-haired barperson. It was a strange experience, seeing the place done, compared to the last time she’d been there. More so comparing it to the vision of what she’d had for the space. She’d executed the idea almost identically at Infinity, but she’d had to make adjustments because it didn’t fit as well in her current space as it would have there.

  The disappointment of it washed over her, and she took another breath, deeper this time, before she walked to the bar.

  ‘Do you know where I can find Benjamin?’

  The woman quirked her brow. ‘Who are you?’

  ‘Oh. I’m...er...’

  She didn’t know what Benjamin had told his people. Of course, she knew what Lee knew, but that didn’t mean he’d announced it to his entire staff. If he hadn’t, she didn’t want to complicate things by telling his employee she was his girlfriend. But she also didn’t want him to know she was there. He’d likely pull a runner, pretend he was really sick, and she couldn’t tell him he was being a jerk.

  ‘Is he here?’

  ‘He might be.’ She tilted her head. ‘You look familiar.’

  ‘I don’t think so.’

  ‘No, you do.’ The woman came closer, limping slightly as she did. ‘Have you been here before?’

  ‘Definitely not.’ She tried to cover it up when she realised how that sounded. ‘I mean, I haven’t had the chance.’

  ‘You’re missing out.’

  She took a look at the full restaurant. It was barely six in the evening and already the vibe was jovial. The patrons were pretty much as she had imagined when she’d thought about the space. Benjamin had clearly turned it into the place though, since it was just about bouncing with energy.

  She turned back to the barperson. ‘Apparently so.’

  ‘I think, considering it’s you and considering you’re my main competition, that’s almost a compliment.’

  She was rolling her eyes before she was even facing him fully.

  ‘Hi.’

  ‘Hi.’

  She wasn’t prepared for the way he leaned in to her, or the kiss he brushed on her cheek. It wasn’t a sensual greeting in theory, but the heat of it seared through her body.

  ‘You’re feeling better?’

  ‘Much.’ She started to brush her hair off her forehead, but stopped. The movement would make her look nervous. She was already feeling it; she didn’t have to look it. ‘Thanks for leaving me that broth.’

  ‘Was it good?’

  ‘You know it was,’ she said with a half-smile. ‘Stop looking for compliments.’

  ‘You gave me one now, I think,’ he replied with a half-smile of his own. ‘But I won’t push you to see if you have any more.’

  ‘Good. You might not like what you find.’

  ‘Mia, could you have a whiskey and—’ He looked at her expectantly.

  ‘Oh. Water.’

  ‘And a water sent to my office, please?’

  ‘Sure.’

  Mia waved them off, but not before Alexa saw the questioning look in her eyes. Alexa couldn’t blame her. A random woman comes to the bar, asking about the boss without giving any reason, and moments later the boss appears and whisks said woman into his office? It looked dodgy, even to her, and she was the random woman.

  ‘Please, sit,’ Benjamin said when they walked into the small space of his office.

  ‘Thanks.’

  She took the seat opposite him. The space was confined, making it big enough only for his desk, two chairs, and a cabinet.

  ‘If you get a smaller desk, have some floating shelves installed, you could create more space for yourself.’

  ‘Why would I want to?’ he asked dryly. ‘I have everything I need.’

  ‘You’re right.’

  Purposefully, she swung her handbag to her lap. It knocked a pile of books off his desk. She gave him a look, then bent to pick the books up and set them back where they were.

  ‘Why would you need more space?’

  ‘Fine, you’ve proved your point.’

  He wa
s chuckling when a young man, probably early twenties, knocked on the door and set their drinks in front of them.

  ‘Anything else?’ he asked, after Benjamin thanked him.

  ‘We’re good for now,’ Benjamin replied, looking at her to confirm. She nodded. ‘I’ll call the kitchen if I need anything else.’ He waited until the man left. ‘You would have had a smaller desk and floating shelves, wouldn’t you?’

  ‘Yeah. I was going to do the shelves on that wall.’ She pointed at one wall. ‘Put the desk here.’ She pointed at the opposite wall. ‘I probably would have got some fancy desk, with three sections that were stacked on top of one another, so I could have options to stand and have plenty of space.’ She shrugged. ‘I didn’t need to in the end, because my current office is huge.’

  ‘Rub it in, won’t you?’ But his eyes were serious. ‘You really wanted this, didn’t you?’

  ‘I was going to buy it,’ she said in answer. ‘I had plans for it.’ She picked up her water and took a sip to quench her suddenly dry throat. ‘It taught me to act first, dream later. An important lesson.’

  There was a long silence. She resisted the urge to fidget during it.

  ‘He just bought this from under you?’ Benjamin asked.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Knowing you wanted it?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Another pause.

  ‘Then he offered the space to me.’

  ‘He’s smart.’

  Seconds passed.

  ‘He was using me.’

  ‘Weren’t you using him, too?’

  ‘I don’t feel like it’s the same.’

  ‘Probably not,’ she conceded. ‘Don’t look so sad.’ Sadness wasn’t quite the emotion in his expression, but she went with it because it also wasn’t not sadness. ‘It turned out well in the end.’

  ‘Yeah, but it’s still...’ He offered her a small smile. ‘It’s hard to wrap my head around. The man who gave me a chance did so by robbing you of something. I considered Lee to be a friend, and now I’m wondering whether I was a fool to do so.’

  She thought about it. Sighed.

  ‘This wasn’t what I thought I’d be doing here, but okay.’ She set her glass down. ‘The Lee you know is the Lee you know. You’ve known him for years. You’ve worked with him. Have likely been through a lot with him. The way he’s treated me doesn’t change that.’

  ‘It does though,’ he said softly. ‘He has the capacity to be cruel and—’

  ‘Only with me,’ she interrupted. ‘It’s part of why my parents could never understand why I had such a problem with him. They couldn’t believe he was the person I was claiming he was, even though they created the environment that forced us to compete.’

  ‘Forced...compete?’ He leaned forward. ‘What do you mean?’

  She couldn’t answer him. It would rip off the bandage that she had put over the wounds of her childhood. She’d spent her entire adult life trying to put, to keep, that bandage in place. She wouldn’t remove it now because this man was asking her to.

  ‘You, um... You don’t look sick.’

  He blinked. Seemingly acknowledged she didn’t want to talk about it because he didn’t press. Instead he leaned back in his chair.

  ‘I am.’ He gave a very fake cough.

  She rolled her eyes, but smiled. ‘You’re obviously not. You didn’t have to do that.’

  ‘I didn’t do anything.’

  ‘Benjamin.’

  He frowned. ‘Fine. But I was only making sure the playing field was level.’

  ‘Were you?’ She bit her lip as she sat back. ‘Was that what last night was, too? You were making sure things were level as you spent the night with me?’

  ‘It wasn’t quite spending the night,’ he protested, colour lighting his cheeks.

  ‘Of course not.’ She didn’t bother hiding her smile. ‘But it was guilt, wasn’t it? You felt guilty about getting a day with Cherise, and you came to look after me so you could tell yourself that you tried to make things better.’

  ‘It wasn’t exactly like that.’

  She lifted her brows, waiting for him to tell her what it was like. He sighed impatiently.

  ‘Maybe there was some guilt. But it was more because I wanted to apologise for being a brute the day before yesterday.’

  ‘What was today, then?’ she asked. ‘Surely you made up for it last night? More than, even. You didn’t have to do it.’

  ‘It was fair.’

  ‘It was stupid.’

  ‘Can you just...?’ He stopped, lowering his voice when the words came out loudly. ‘Can you just say thank you?’

  ‘No,’ she said after a moment. ‘I’m not going to thank you for feeling sorry for me.’

  She stood, knocking over the books with her handbag again, this time unintentionally. With a sigh, she lowered to pick them up. Then found that she was stuck.

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘Oh.’ He stood now, too. ‘Oh, what?’

  She tried with all her might to push up, but her balance was shot. It only ended up pushing her forward. She put a hand out in time to keep from knocking her head.

  ‘Lex, are you okay? Are you in labour?’

  ‘Of course I’m not in labour.’ She scowled. ‘I’m thirteen weeks pregnant. Of course I’m not in labour.’

  ‘Okay.’ He crouched down in front of her. ‘Why are you not getting up, then?’

  ‘Because—’ she gritted her teeth ‘—I can’t.’

  ‘You can’t get up?’

  ‘Seems you need your core to stand up. Who knew?’

  She could almost feel him laughing at her. She chose to ignore it. Largely because she really couldn’t get up and the floor was surprisingly terrible to be on.

  ‘Are you going to help me?’

  ‘Yeah.’ But she heard the click of a camera. Her head shot up.

  ‘What did you do?’

  ‘Nothing,’ he said innocently, taking her under the arms and lifting her gently.

  ‘Benjamin, if you took a photo of me struggling to get up, I swear I’ll make you regret it.’

  ‘Which is exactly why I need the photo. For protection.’

  ‘Why do you need protection?’

  ‘You’re a voracious opponent.’

  ‘Am I an opponent?’ she asked lightly, though she didn’t feel light. It had nothing to do with him taking a picture of her or getting stuck on the floor.

  ‘I didn’t mean it that way.’

  ‘How did you mean it?’

  ‘You’re a sparring partner,’ he said, shoving his hands into his jeans pockets. They were close enough that she could reach out and pull them out if she wanted to. ‘We argue and debate. It’s what we do.’

  ‘Yeah, but all of that started because you saw me as an opponent in that way.’ She lifted her head because, although it smarted, he was taller than her, and the lack of distance between them meant she had to. ‘Something about me in class made you think of me as competition.’

  ‘You were the best, Alexa.’ He shrugged. ‘People don’t compete against someone in the middle. They do so with the person at the top. And you were.’

  Or they compete with the only person who’s there, she thought, remembering all the years her parents had encouraged her and Lee to be better than those around them. Their words weren’t only for her and Lee; they competed with those around them, too. Even with one another. It seemed to invigorate their marriage though, rather than cause the relationship to crumble. Sometimes Alexa wondered whether she was their child, since she was the only one in the family who hadn’t been invigorated by competition. She was the odd one out. Lee had simply been following their parents’ example.

  It didn’t make it right though. At least not for her.

  ‘I should... I should go.’
r />   ‘Alexa,’ he said, reaching for her hand. She stilled when he threaded their fingers together. Let herself go to him when he pulled her in. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘But you’re upset.’

  She sighed. ‘It’s not you. Well, not you alone.’ When he only looked at her, the heat of his hand pulsing into her body, landing at her heart, she sighed again. ‘I spent my entire life being the person Lee had to beat. Not because I was the best, or at the top, but because I was there. My parents told us to be the best. We got rewarded with love or gifts if we were.’ She closed her eyes. ‘I don’t... I don’t want to live my entire life like that. That’s why I cut Lee out of it. That’s why I barely speak to my parents.’

  She dropped her head. It found a soft landing, and she realised he’d moved closer so she could lean against his chest. As it had the night before, it comforted her.

  ‘This entire thing with Cherise is a nightmare for me,’ she whispered. ‘I just want it to be over. And before you say it—no, it won’t be if you step back.’

  ‘It will.’

  She looked up at him. ‘No, it won’t. If you don’t fight fairly, I’ll know. More significantly, Lee will know. And he’ll stop at nothing to convince Cherise to work for In the Rough, which will put me right back in the position I was in in the first place.’

  She lifted a free hand and set it on his chest. Curled her fingers.

  ‘You’ll know, too. You’ll know that you sacrificed this for me. I don’t want that.’ She beat her fist lightly against his chest. ‘I want you to think of what’s best for you. Fighting for this is what’s best for you,’ she clarified when he frowned.

  His hand lifted, curled over her fist. ‘I thought you didn’t want us to compete.’

  ‘I don’t. But I’m not naïve enough to believe I won’t encounter competition in my life. In my business. Just...’ She sighed. ‘Just make it a good one so we can all move forward without this haunting us.’