I warred back and forth between anger and fear. Why had I not gotten one of those cell phones Lennox kept trying to get me to purchase so she could text me when she was going to be late?
Another hour passed.
When the keys finally rattled in the door, I was overcome with extreme relief. I rushed to the door and swung it open before she was able to. I scooped my Lennox into my arms, leaving her keys dangling in the lock. I inspected and sniffed her for injuries as I hugged and squeezed her, reassuring myself that she was alright.
“Wow, oh, okay, hello to you, too.” She giggled and hugged me back until she noticed the candle stubs, cold, dry food, and my tie and jacket strewn across the sofa. “Oh, my god. I’m so sorry, Remy! I got stuck at school. Sarah needed help grading papers, and I couldn’t say no.” She dropped her bags and grimaced apologetically. “I’m so sorry.”
A chill swept through me. I released her, stepped away, and leaned against the counter by the fridge. Her words scalded me. Had that truly been what had kept her late and caused me to fret for hours? She looked around the kitchen and living room, taking in the fresh flowers and candles burned down to nothing. “Remy… you did all this?”
I did not answer right away. I needed a moment to calm myself, to discuss things rationally. I had not mentioned to her that I planned to claim her this night, but we had very clearly discussed that I had a special night planned and a surprise for her, and she had promised to arrive home early.
Taking a deep breath, I asked her the question I couldn’t understand. The thing I could not wrap my mind around. “Why was tonight different to you?”
Frowning, she tugged her ponytail tighter, a sign that she wanted to change the topic. “What do you mean?”
“When we were invited to dinner at your parents’, you could not get home fast enough.” I ran my hands through my hair. I was not certain I would like the answer, but I needed one. “What was different? You are telling me that Sarah, or Mandy, or whatever other Susie there is where you work did not ask you for anything that night?”
“I said I’m sorry, Remy. There is no difference. I just…couldn’t say no. She really needed help.” She came up to me and pressed her palms flat to my chest. “I don’t want to fight. Tonight is a special night, right?”
I shook my head again. “No. Tonight is not.”
“What?”
“I am not to be used like a piece of furniture. I am angry, Lennox. I have waited and worried for hours that you might be hurt somewhere.”
“Ok, that part isn’t my fault, Remy! I told you to get a cell phone.” Her fingertips pressed into me harder. “I don’t want to fight with you. Please, Remy. Let’s just go to bed.”
“No, Lennox. I want to know why you rush home to go to a dinner that you do not want to go to at your parents’ house and you treat tonight like it is not important—not special.”
“Tonight is special. I just…I don’t know, Remy. Okay? I don’t know. I just felt like I couldn’t mess up with my parents again. Not after—you know what.”
“And it was acceptable with me? Lennox, I have been here every day and every night, waiting for you. You have told me that you want to be here with me, but you never hurry home. I miss you. I miss seeing you and spending time with you.”
“Miss me? Remy, I’m here every night!”
“And that is enough for you? The few hours before you fall asleep? Because it is not for me. You wake up and rush around, scurrying out the door, come home tired and hungry, eat, fuck if you are not too tired, sleep, and then wake up and scurry out the door again. You are giving the best Lennox to others, and I have not seen her in a long time.”
Her face burned red, and tears filled her eyes. “I can’t do this. I can’t fight with you.”
“What does that mean?”
“I just want to get in bed with you. I want you to hold me and for everything to be okay.”
“We cannot just ignore this. We must talk. You have me here sounding like a pathetic loser, begging for you to spend more time with me. I must beg? I simply ask that you value me over the rest of the things in your life. As I value you.”
“I can’t just quit everything! I have a job and friends, Remy! I have a life! I have responsibilities.”
“And they are more important than me, than us?”
“That’s not what I said.”
“But it is what your actions have implied. You could have told whatever-her-name-is that we had a special night planned. You could have told your mother and father that I was not a monster. You could have been excited to come home and spend time together.”
“I can’t argue with my mother!” Lennox’s eyes narrowed, and she threw up her hands. “Fine. You insist on fighting? Let’s fight. I’m fucking exhausted. I’m working sixty hours a week and trying to balance everything, and it is hard on me knowing you’re here all day, miserable. Why don’t you go out and do something? Maybe you wouldn’t miss me so much.”
I gritted my teeth. “So, the problem is that I miss you too much?”
“Maybe, it is. Maybe, you’re too needy.”
Seething, but more hurt than anything, I nodded. “This is how you really feel?”
She looked at her feet and spoke softly. “Maybe, it’s better than you haven’t marked me yet. I had a feeling this wouldn’t work out.”
I swallowed a lump of emotion and shook my head at her. “You really feel that way?”
She hesitated and I could see the truth. She was just angry and hurt, too. We both needed space, and I needed to go so I could lick my wounds without becoming any more pathetic.
“I will leave.”
20
Lennox
“Wait, Remy…”
He only hesitated once, momentarily, when he got to the door and pulled it open. “We have said enough angry things for this night.”
I stood frozen, shell shocked, until I felt the first tear roll down my cheek. What had I done? I told my feet to run after him, but I was scared. I’d snapped at him, and I was wrong. I wanted to talk to him, but I would have to face how mean I’d been to him, and how unfair.
I sat down heavily at the kitchen table and looked around. Candle stubs were everywhere. Flowers, food. Soft music played in the background. Barry White, if I wasn’t mistaken. That was impressive in itself. Remy hadn’t even been able to get music to play before. He had a little difficulty with the smart home system. There was a box of chocolate-covered strawberries. Melting. He’d done so much to make the night special.
I rested my forehead on the table and groaned. I’d really messed up. No wonder he was angry. Hurt. He was more hurt than angry. And with good reason. I’d ruined the evening he’d worked so hard on.
Maybe there was still time to get him back inside and do something to make it up to him. I would figure out the right words to say to make it better and it would all be okay. I raced to the door and ran down the stairway that led to the parking lot, looking frantically in every direction.
“Remy!”
Jerry, my downstairs neighbor, sat up from his patio chair. “You looking for the big guy?”
“Yeah. Where’d he go?”
He took a long pull from a joint and whistled. “I think this shit is laced. I swear I saw him turn into a red pterodactyl and fly away. This is some good shit right here.”
Deflating, I felt my entire body slump. “Thanks, Jerry.”
Upstairs, I closed myself in. I passed through to the bedroom to change out of my work clothes and stopped. More candles. Rose petals sprinkled over the sheets. Ugh, I sank into the pillows and groaned.
Maybe he’d be back in the morning and we’d laugh about our first big fight. I would explain to him that often it was impossible to say no to people at work. He was my first priority, but my reputation as an educator was at stake. He had to understand that. He’d see.
Only, he didn’t come back in the morning. When I left for work, he still wasn’t back. I left the door unlocked, afraid
to lock him out if he came back while I was gone. While I was at work, I called Jerry twice to ask if he’d seen Remy. Nothing. I stayed after work to help Monica with a banner she was making for the upcoming pep rally, even though all I wanted to do was run home and see if Remy had returned. Inside, I already knew…
He hadn’t.
I went to bed that night holding his pillow and shedding tears all over it. He wasn’t back the next morning, either. Still, I left the door unlocked and hoped I’d find him there when I got home. It was my day to stay late to help with dismissal and then the science club, but I knew he still wouldn’t be there when I got home.
Another night spent alone.
Another morning waking up alone. And I felt even worse. Every day the loneliness, the feeling of isolation and abandonment, grew worse.
Why was I suddenly so lonely? Before I’d met Remy, when I was engaged to David, I always slept alone and never felt lonely. Now, I was not only lonely, but it was also as though a piece of me was missing.
At first, I had so much hope that he was coming back once he cooled off that my fear didn’t have room to grow. By the third morning of waking up alone, my fear had grown into a creature with its own heartbeat that took up space in my apartment. In response, I stayed even later at work, because at least there I could somewhat distract myself. Of course, Remy was coming back. We were mates.
After spending the week alone, the fear crowded me and was beginning to bully me and shove me around. I had no way of getting in contact with Remy. Well, except going to his place.
Maybe he was just taking some time to cool off. Maybe he was just hanging out with his twin and his other dragon guy friends. Or maybe…maybe he wasn’t coming back. Ever.
I supposed I could go to his castle. I wasn’t exactly sure I could find it. I’d stayed with him at his place for two weeks, but we’d flown in and flown out. I wasn’t horrible with directions, and if I was hard pressed, I thought maybe I could find it…somewhere…in the middle of a swamp. But what if I went there and he was still mad? What if he yelled or screamed or ignored me or worse… What if he told me that he no longer had feelings for me and asked me kindly to leave? Ugh, I couldn’t face the possibility.
It was around this time that I slipped into a mourning phase.
When Margo texted me at work and insisted that she and Nance were stopping over that evening, I was too depressed to argue. Besides, it was a way to fill the empty space. I got home from another long day and shoved a frozen lasagna in the oven. I had time to clear away the melted candle stubs and dying flowers that were still out before they got there.
Margo burst in with the usual subtly of a bull in a china shop. “Where’s Remy? We wanted to discuss his dragon friends with him. It’s not fair that you get all the red-hot dragon loving to yourself…see what I did there? Red-hot!”
Nance looked around. “Hold up. No, really. Where is Remy? He’s always here.”
I meant to answer, but when I opened my mouth, I just started sobbing.
“Oh, honey!” Margo hurried over and pulled me into her arms. “What happened?”
Nance was like a hound dog. She immediately searched the bedroom, fridge, and lastly, the trash can where she found the wilted flowers and candle stubs. “Uh-oh.”
Margo frowned. “What are you doing, weirdo? Get out of the trash can.”
“I’m investigating. Look what I found in here. The remnants of candles and dead, dried-up flowers.”
“Why are you investigating the trash can?”
“It’s effective, isn’t it?”
Margo rolled her eyes and ushered me into a chair. “Talk.”
“Remy left. I don’t think he’s coming back.” I folded my arms on the table and let my forehead sag down onto them. “It’s all my fault.”
“I don’t believe that for a second. You’re an angel. Tell us everything.” She sat down beside me and rested her chin on her fist. “Everything.”
21
Remy
Blaise flew in and sat next to me on the patio, his naked ass the last thing I wanted to see. “You have been ignoring me.”
“And yet, here you are. You did not take the hint?”
“What is wrong with you, and where is your mate?”
“Home.”
“Why?”
I groaned and sank down farther in my chair. “Because we…we are...”
He made a face. “What?”
“Come on, brother. I do not want to get into this.” And I really didn’t. I had been doing my best to just make it through the past few days. It was everything I could do not to fly back to Lennox.
“Not an option. You came to my castle and forced me to talk all the time when I was trying to win Chyna.”
“You called me over, ashhead.”
“Same difference. I can feel you going through sorrow. Talking feels better.” He groaned at his own words. “Father would be ashamed of us.”
I snorted and dipped into my sarcasm. “Yes, look at us not beating our mates to keep them in line. Such shameful sons.”
“So, why is she there and you are here?”
I blew out a rough breath and shrugged. “I do not know.”
“Bullshit.”
“We had an argument. I am doing as Cezar suggested and giving her a human thing called space.”
He rolled his eyes. “Stupid. Go get her.”
I looked out across the water. “It is not that easy, brother. She is not ready, I think. She is afraid of confronting things and just keeps quiet. She allows people to treat her poorly—and then she blows up at me! Me.”
“I am still not following why you left her there.”
“You would not understand.”
“Try me.”
I growled. “Chyna desires you all the time. I have seen her, even when she is enjoying herself with other people. She looks for you in the room and always circles back to you as soon as she can. She wants to be with you. Lennox… She does not seem to want that. She stays away from me, and she does everything she can to remain at work instead of coming home to be with me. I am unwanted.”
“You sound like the females in all those stupid romance movies Chyna makes me watch.”
“You sound like an ashhead.” I stood up and walked out on the dock over to the water. I thought a swim might help, but I did not feel like jumping in. I just sat on the edge and dipped my feet in the water.
“Sorry. You do not sound like a female—that much.”
I made a face. “You still sound like an ashhead.”
“Remy, go to her. Talk to her.”
“I tried. Now, I am doing space. Perhaps she will realize she misses me…like I miss her.” I frowned. “I confess, it is much harder than it sounded. I had hoped she would have come here by now. I had hoped she would have stopped me from leaving in the first place. But she did not. Maybe she does not feel the same bond with me as I feel with her.”
“Are we really going to do this? Seriously? Of course, she does. You are mates. Like the rest of us, bound together, perfect for each other, blah, blah, blah. All the same stuff you said to me about Chyna. And you were right.”
I had said all those things, but somehow it seemed different now that I was going through it and feeling like my chest was being crushed under a boulder.
But Blaise did have a point. I would not be able to stay away much longer. Fuck space. Part of me wished she would come to me and show me that I was important to her.
“Don’t be stubborn for too long, brother. I regret every minute I gave up with Chyna.”
“Do you want a beverage?”
He laughed. “Not at all. I want to go home to my mate and make love to her before she falls asleep watching some boring plant show on television. But you are my kin, and I am here for you. That is why I had Armand stop by his castle to pick up some of his special brew. He will be here soon.”
I nodded and lay back on the dock. “Just pour it into my mouth until I pass out.”
<
br /> “What if Lennox never arrives? What if she is home waiting for you to come to her and wondering why you do not love her the way she loves you?”
“She never said she loves me.”
“Did you tell her?”
“Well, no. I told her she is my mate. That is the same.”
Blaise laughed. “You have much to learn. Start with watching movies called rom-coms.”
“You think she does not know that I love her?”
Blaise looked up and nodded in greeting to Armand as he flew in. “I think we assume a lot as dragons.”
I took the flask Armand handed to me and swore. “Why is this so difficult?”
Armand shrugged. “I would not know. I have been to every bar in the area no less than four times. I’ve been to church. I’ve been to the library. I’ve been to crocheting classes, and I have even done something called wedding crash—attending the mating ceremony of humans that I don’t know. Nothing. I do have a very nice scarf, and I am working on an afghan, though. And I learned a dance called the Macarena.”
I took a long pull from the flask and shrugged back at him. “I hate to break it to you, but it would seem that finding a mate is the easy part. It is afterward that you will want to ram your skull into the side of a mountain. Repeatedly.”
Blaise laughed. “Ignore him. He is boohooing like a youngling thinking his mate does not love him and does not spend enough time with him.”
Armand scowled. “You are supposed to be the twins of the bloodiest kingdom on record, sired by the most brutal ruler in the old world. By fire, the two of you are pathetic.”
Blaise and I gave each other a look. “He will understand when he meets his mate.”
“I would be grateful to simply find a mate to stop this ticking time bomb over my head. The eclipse is not far off. Less than a year and you will be pushing me into the lake with cinder blocks tied to my ankles. I saw that in a movie about a group of humans called the mafia.”
Fire Breathing Remy Page 9