I grimaced. “I am not pushing you into my lake. You would come back and haunt me.”
Blaise sat down next to me, and I handed him the flask. “You have both been watching too much television.”
“Yes, well. That’s another thing that’s different in this world. That box called television is always present, and there is always something to watch. I learn much from it.” Armand held up his brew. “The idea for this batch was from the television. Kind of.”
“This batch is from hell. Do not lie, brother. Is this the same batch that made me fly into the side of a building?”
He nodded. “It is a good recipe. We must finish it before Ovide asks for more, though. It puts him in a sour mood.”
“What else is new?”
22
Lennox
“This is the last place I want to be, Margo.” It was a Saturday night, and her bar was busy. I was happy for her that her business had such a great volume of traffic, but why she had to drag me to it, I didn’t understand. People kept getting too close to me, and for the first time in my life, I found myself wanting to elbow and pick fights with people. I was considering actually doing it, too.
“Yet, here you are.” She all but shouted at me as she rushed around, slinging beers to people.
I frowned. “Should I have stayed home?”
She stopped, put her hands on her hips, and looked me in the eye. “You should have done what you wanted to do.”
I opened my mouth to say something back and then snapped it shut. Why hadn’t I? “You made me come,” I offered feebly.
Margo stared at me for a second longer, with raised brows, then went back to wiping the bar down with a rag. “You’re a big girl, Len. All you had to do was voice your own opinion.”
She had a point. I had a habit of going along with what everyone else wanted, even at the cost of my own comfort. I had wanted to stay home. Sure, I would have spent the evening crying into Remy’s pillow, but even that was preferable to sitting in a bar surrounded by drunken assholes.
“I should probably go home.”
“If that’s what you want.” She snagged someone’s debit card and waved it at me. “It’s about time you do what you want, Lenni. In everything. If you want Remy, go get him. If you don’t, keep hiding from him. Your choice.”
I frowned. “It’s not that easy.”
“Yes, it is. What do you want?”
A guy with a bald head and a neck tattoo leaned over the bar. “I want a damn beer!”
Margo glared and shook her finger at him. “You yell at me again mister and you’ll be picking your teeth up off the floor.”
I stifled a laugh and stood up. “I want to go home.”
“Then go. I’ll call you and check on you tomorrow.”
I left her to her bartending and drove home lost in thought. As I drove, it became apparent why Margo had dragged me there in the first place. It had been a ploy to show me that I needed to be more vocal and assert myself. She was clever-sneaky that way, and as much as it could annoy me, I loved her for caring. I thought again about her words. It’s about time you do what you want, Lenni. What did I want?
Besides Remy. I didn’t need to think hard to figure out that I wanted Remy. But what else? I wanted a happy life. I wanted to be married to him with kids. A lot of kids. I wanted to watch our kids grow up together and enjoy all of the phases they went through while Remy and I grew older together. Not exactly old, with the antiaging thing that Remy told me dragons had going on. I wanted to be able to see my parents without feeling so much pressure. I wanted to be able to stand up for myself and say what I felt. I wanted to be able to say no when I felt like saying no.
But where to start? How would I find the strength to speak my mind and stop allowing people to push me around? Because I needed to at least take some progressive steps in that direction if I wanted things with Remy to work. I could go to him and tell him how I was feeling, but he deserved more. He deserved for me to show him he was important to me—through my actions. First, I needed to be able to show myself, through my actions, that I valued me. I couldn’t convince him that he was valued without first learning to value and defend myself.
I got home and settled onto my couch with my kindle, searching through the most current and highly rated self-help books. I ended up downloading a guide to assertiveness for women entitled A Bitch with Boundaries. I spent an embarrassingly long time pouring over it and making notes.
I was excited to be taking a proactive approach to my life and relationship…if I still had one…if there was any chance of getting Remy back…if Remy hadn’t walked away for good.
I fell asleep on the couch and then spent all of Sunday studying and practicing what I’d learned through visualization. I tried not to feel too pathetic that I needed to read a book and study it to be able to stand up to people, or express my own wants and needs, but I’d never learned how to do it. According to the book, it was normal for someone who had been raised with pushy, domineering parents like mine.
Come Monday morning, I had to skip breakfast due to the nausea that had a vice grip on my stomach. It was embarrassing that I was close to throwing up simply because of anxiety over having to put into practice what I’d learned about setting boundaries and being more assertive.
It would start with Sarah. She was nice enough, but she always asked me to do extra stuff for her. She never went to anyone else. I knew she wasn’t choosing me because we were such great friends. We weren’t. I knew she wasn’t choosing me because the “helping out” was reciprocal. It wasn’t. Some of the times I “helped” her, she didn’t even hang around. She just dumped her work on me and left.
According to the gossip grapevine, she was hooking up with Mike Jenkins, the gym coach, and I suspected they were sneaking away during school hours. While I did her work. Hey, I didn’t judge her for wanting to be with her man, if that was the case, but I’d been giving up time with my mate to help her out. Because I was too much of a pushover to say no.
That had to end. There was a list of names in my purse. Number one on it was Sarah. Dealing with her was step one to becoming the woman Remy deserved, I reminded myself.
My stomach knotted more the longer the day went on. I knew exactly what was coming. I’d seen Sarah glance my way multiple times in the teacher’s lounge, but she never approached me when other educators could overhear her. According to the book, I was a people pleaser, programmed by my parents to please. I was determined to become a bitch with boundaries, though, no matter how much my stomach hurt.
When Sarah finally approached me, I panicked. She opened her mouth to speak, and I cut her off like a mad person. “No!”
She stepped back, her eyes wide. “Sorry?”
I cleared my throat and forced a smile. “I can’t stay late or do anything for you, Sarah.”
Her returned smile was as brittle as mine. “That’s okay. I was going to ask about tomorrow. If that’s a problem…”
That hanging sentence would’ve normally cracked me. I hated the negative space of conversations, especially when people looked at me with so much expectation. I forced my head to shake back and forth. “Not tomorrow, either.”
“Oh, do you have something else going on?”
I twisted my fingers together behind me and squeezed. “I just don’t want to.”
“O-kay.” Her lips pressed together tightly and she nodded. “That’s fine. You can still help me with grading my papers, right? I’m swamped. I wish I had a free period every day like you. It must be easy to keep up with your work with a free period every day, right?”
My smile slipped, and those knots in my stomach rose up as a sourness in my throat. I was getting angry, though. I’d been blowing off Remy to help the woman in front of me, who was so quick to insult me and become nasty when I refused to bend over backward for her. “I can’t grade your papers, actually, Sarah. Maybe you can ask someone else.”
“I can’t ask anyone else. They’re all busy, t
oo.”
I forced myself to walk to my desk and grab my purse. “I should get going. I have dinner with my parents.”
“Ugh… Are you really not going to help me anymore, Lennox? Seriously? That’s kind of selfish.”
Pausing in the doorway, I forced myself to fight back tears. I was so angry that I wanted to scream at her, but I just had to stand my ground, and I’d be free of her. Bitch with boundaries, bitch with boundaries, bitch with boundaries, I mentally chanted. “If by selfish you mean standing up for myself and setting boundaries, then yes, I am being selfish. Super-duper, stinkin’ selfish. That’s me. Deal with it.”
In the parking lot, I called my mom right away and continued the momentum. As soon as she answered, I jumped in, “I’m not coming to dinner tonight. You were so rude to Remy the last time, and I love him. If you and Dad insist on treating him that way, we won’t be back. Ever.”
Breathing heavily, my heart pounding, I waited for her response. I was trembling. Terrified. I was always terrified of messing up with them. Their love always felt so conditional.
“Fine, Lennox. You’re coming next week. Bring the monst—Remy.”
Great. I got her to accept my conditions, and I wasn’t even sure I could get Remy back or, if I did, he’d agree to going to dinner at my parents’ again. But my assertiveness worked, and I wasn’t about to stop there. “One word, one negative word to him and we’re out of there.”
She hesitated. There was an awkward silence. “We’ll see you next week.”
“Talk to you next week.” I was starting to cry. I had to hang up despite the fact that she continued.
“Where did he get all that gold, Lennox? Is his family well off?”
“See you then,’” I sing-songed.
I heard her quick reply before I disconnected, “Don’t forget to bring him.”
23
Remy
“This is the spot?” Blaise looked around at the plot of land we stood on and nodded. “It is a good location and has plenty of water.”
Beast, Cezar, and Ovide stood next to him, taking everything in. We were all looking out over the plot of land I’d purchased. A hundred acres, close to Lennox’s school, with a lake and enough trees to be cleared that I could build a nice dwelling with the lumber without having to cart in too many new materials and supplies.
“I’m going to build the castle on that hill, so it will overlook our territory.” I tugged the drawing I’d made out of my pocket and held it up. “I wish I had settled here when we first arrived in this world. I would have been closer to her all along.”
“Well, she’s only been alive for twenty-nine years, so it has probably all worked out for the best.” Blaise elbowed me. “I get what you mean, though. I felt the same when I found how close Chyna had been to me all along.”
Ovide cleared his throat and looked at my drawing. “Really? You are building your castle based on a crayon drawing?”
I pulled it away from him. “Ashbreath. I’m going to draw up professional plans once I go over everything with Lennox to be sure what she wants. She will probably want a large walk-in closet like the females on those house-hunting shows.”
“Or, maybe, you will want a large closet to store all your emotions.” Blaise laughed when I punched him and then punched me back.
I grabbed him around his neck and held him bent over at my side while he fought himself free. “I can kick your tail. Don’t forget that.”
He swung his leg, taking me down, and we wrestled for a while, then we all took a long swim in the lake before flying back home.
In the evening, there would be another of their get-togethers. When I declined the invitation, I was informed by the females that my refusal to attend was not accepted as the gathering would be held at my castle. Great.
Ovide and Armand were exempt from having to attend, but apparently, I was the target of their well-meaning torture.
My dragon still raged. He was furious that we were doing this thing called space. Frankly, I hated it as well. I had hoped Lennox would show up for me, but it had not happened, and I was not going to stay away much longer. I missed her too much.
Purchasing the land closer to her work was a solution to the problems we were having. I would be working on constructing the new castle during the days. This would keep me from sitting around the small cagelike apartment, missing her day long, in the midst of the cacophony of human smells and sounds that wreaked havoc with my senses. I would still not like being away from her all day, but it would be tolerable. If I could not spend more time with her, I would accept what she could offer me.
* * *
Cezar flew in with Cherry sitting in a harness atop him. The other dragons always gave him grief about the harness, but he would not back down. She was huge, due at any time, and her large belly made her awkward. He insisted she be strapped in for safety. I couldn’t blame the dragon. I would be as protective with my mate. And, although they teased, I suspected the others would, too. Mentally, I formulated a picture of how Lennox might look if she was pregnant. Incredibly sexy, I decided.
Blaise and Cherry arrived, carrying cupcakes, steaks, and baked potatoes for the grill, seconds before Beast showed up with his family.
Sky, Nick, and Casey all rode on Beast’s back as though he was a large, black dragon bus. Their arms were loaded with salad, chips, hamburgers, hotdogs, and soda. Great. I would never get rid of them.
Beast blew flames to set the grill alight, and they all scurried around preparing a feast while I moped that my mate was not with me. I was regretting choosing to go along with this giving of space.
Throughout the evening, as everyone stuffed their faces, the focus was on Cherry’s belly. Turns were taken to rub it and to feel the youngling from inside her kick at hands placed on her stomach. No one was certain how long her gestation would be since no human, that we knew of, had ever conceived a dragon youngling, but it seemed clear that her time was nearing an end.
After everyone ate, Blaise uncovered sweets.
“Blaise made his special cupcakes. He’s so good in the kitchen,” Chyna grinned. “I think I’ve gained five pounds from his baked goods alone.”
I tried to imagine my father seeing Blaise baking and cooking, for a female no less, and laughed to myself at how red faced and frothing at the mouth in anger he would have been. Our sire had tried his hardest to make a ruthless, bloodthirsty ruler out of us both. It served him right to spend whatever afterlife he was in watching Blaise bake for his mate and me become emotional over mine.
Cherry moaned as she shoved half a cupcake into her mouth. Cezar shifted in his seat in response to her groan of pleasure, clearly enjoying his mate’s reaction. “So delicious. I love cupcakes. Can we take home the extras?”
“They are for you, anyway,” Blaise grinned. “Take them.”
She pouted. “That’s so sweet. I’d hug you, but the baby has made Cezar extra possessive. He’s likely to char you.”
“I will do more than char any male who puts his hands on my Cherry.”
Sky moved onto Beast’s lap and smiled. “This was a great barbecue. Whose turn is it to host next week? Everyone at our place?”
Casey piped up, “Yeah, and Cezar, we can have a gaming marathon. Bring your controller.”
Nick nodded. “That sounds awesome.”
Cezar grinned and pulled Cherry closer. When her oversized belly blocked him from holding her as close as he wanted to, he just lifted her and plopped her on his lap, hugging her to his chest.
Blaise met my eyes over Chyna’s head and smiled before communicating telepathically. My mate is with child.
My heart expanded, pure happiness flooding me. I was going to be an uncle. I reached over and punched his arm in congratulations before giving Chyna a side hug. She was a good new sister. “You are going to have your hands full keeping this one in line.”
She blushed and turned to punch Blaise in the thigh. “You said I could be the one to announce it.”
/> “Announce what?” Cherry’s ears perked up.
Chyna shook her head. “Nothing.”
I laughed and stood up. “I’m getting more brew. Anyone need anything?”
The low hum of a motor coming closer drowned out what Blaise was saying to me. The hair on the back of my neck prickled. I scanned the horizon and watched as a boat came into view. I knew instantly it was Lennox, even before I caught her scent on the wind, and dropped the flask I’d been holding.
Chyna squinted. “Who’s that?”
I stood and jogged down the dock where I watched, waiting for her boat to pull up. I’d felt every second of every minute away from her like a dagger to my chest, but seeing her boat racing full speed toward me sent the fire in my veins pulsing through me.
Instead of slowing down and pulling up to the dock, though, she swung the boat wildly, heading for land full speed ahead, gesturing wildly to me with a frantic expression. Instinct took over in a beat. I shifted and launched myself toward her using my long talons to pluck her from the boat seconds before it crashed into a cypress grove bordering the bank of the lake.
Terrified that she was hurt, I landed us both on sturdy ground and shifted, grabbing her arms, and looked her over in a mad panic. “Are you alright? What happened?”
She was trembling, and it took me a couple of nervous seconds to realize she had collapsed into a fit of giggles. “I’m so sorry. I don’t really know how to drive these things. It was my first time. I…”
I stopped and stared at her while her giggling fit continued.
“This boat rental guy refused to give me a ride from the marina near my apartment. He was a jerk about it, so I took his boat. He’s probably behind me. I’m sorry! I just wanted to get here, and I wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
“You stole a boat?”
“And, whew, that was a close call! I thought I was going to have to bail by jumping into the water, but I wasn’t sure I’d be able to jump far enough from the boat, and I was thinking about my hair getting caught in those blade thingies. I don’t look good with short hair. I might be freaking out a little.” She giggled some seconds more before she suddenly stopped and sucked in a big breath. “Yes. I stole a boat!”
Fire Breathing Remy Page 10