by L A Cotton
“Well being in a low fucking sucks.”
“You’re still... doing it, right?”
I gawked at Asher. “What are we, five?”
“I’m just trying to help.” He shrugged.
“Yeah, well maybe we should change the subject.” Dissecting my relationship with Felicity was making me cranky.
“If you make it as one of the Heisman finalists, we can take a trip to New York for the weekend to celebrate.”
“Seriously, Ash, the chances of me getting shortlisted are almost non-existent.” I rubbed my jaw.
“Still, I’ll ask my old man if we can reserve the penthouse for the weekend. That way, even if you don’t shortlist, we can still go, but it can be a commiseration instead of a celebration.” A shit-eating grin tugged at his mouth.
“There’s something very wrong with you,” I grumbled.
“But you love me.”
Yeah, I did. He might have been like sunshine on a fucking rainy day, but Asher was my best friend. Cameron too. Almost fifteen months had passed since we left Rixon for college, but they were still my guys.
Always would be.
He pulled out his cell phone and I frowned. “What are you doing?”
“Texting my dad.”
Cameron smothered a chuckle and I rolled my eyes. “Of course you are.”
Felicity
A weekend with Hailee and Mya had been just what I’d needed. We’d spent an entire day and night being pampered and primped, finishing off the day with cocktails in the tropical al fresco style bar. This morning we’d enjoyed a champagne breakfast and then gone our separate ways. Mya and I had flown back to Philadelphia together.
“Oh my god,” she murmured as we came through arrivals to find Asher holding a huge 'welcome home' sign. “He did not.”
“Oh, he did.” Laughter spilled from my lips. I scanned the arrival lounge for Jason, my heart sinking when I didn’t spot him.
“My two favorites.” Asher approached us.
Mya grabbed his face and squished her nose against his. “It’s a good thing I love you.”
“What, you didn’t like my sign? It took all morning to paint.”
“You have completely lost your mind.”
“Fee, baby,” he kissed Mya before stepping around her, “get over here.”
“Hey, Ash.” I gave him a hug. “Have you seen Jason?”
“Actually, he asked me if I minded giving you a ride.”
“He did?”
I dug out my cell phone checking my messages again.
Nothing.
“He got caught up and didn’t want to keep you waiting. Come on, the Jeep is out front.” He grabbed Mya’s overnight bag and started toward the door. But I hesitated.
“Hey,” Mya said. “I’m sure he wanted to be here.”
“Yeah.”
I’d confided a little to Mya and Hailee about how strained things had become between Jason and I lately, but I hadn’t wanted to put a dampener on our time together. Besides, they had both found their feet at college. Hailee and Cameron had a group of friends they regularly hung out with, and Mya was friends with a ton of her fellow social work classmates. It seemed like it was only me who, a year later, still hadn’t slotted into college life.
We piled into Asher’s Jeep and I sat quietly in the back while Mya caught him up on our time at the spa. My cell burned a hole in my pocket. I wanted to text Jason and ask why he hadn’t been able to pick me up, but I didn’t. Because I was pretty sure I already knew the answer.
It was only a fifteen-minute ride to Powelton Village. Asher rolled to a stop outside my building and twisted around to face me.
“Thanks,” I said.
“Anytime. Don’t be too hard on him, yeah?”
My brows pinched. Wasn’t he supposed to side with me? After all, Jason had abandoned me at the airport in favor of hanging out with the team.
“I’ll see you both soon.”
“Don’t be a stranger,” Mya said around a warm smile.
I climbed out, dragging my small suitcase behind me. Usually, I’d be excited to see Jason after time apart, but the permanent knot in my stomach only twisted tighter.
Asher honked his horn and I waved, watching as the Jeep disappeared into the steady stream of traffic. There was no sign of Jason’s Dodge Charger in the parking lot, and my heart sank a little more.
I rode the elevator up to the top floor, silently planning a hot bath and comfort food. But when I stepped inside the apartment, the gnawing pit in my stomach was replaced with butterflies. A vase of red roses greeted me, a card propped up against the glass. I plucked it up and opened it.
* * *
Felicity,
Be ready by 7.
Wear something sexy.
J
* * *
I couldn’t have fought the smile pulling at my lips if I'd tried. It didn’t fix everything, and I knew we still needed to talk, but it was exactly the sign I needed.
Ninety minutes later, the knock at the door made my heart flutter in my chest. I opened it gently, hardly able to believe my eyes. Jason looked devastating. The slim-fit dark jeans hugged his muscular thighs, and the black dress shirt molded to his broad shoulders and thick arms. He’d left the collar open and rolled the sleeves to his elbows. His hair hung over his eyes a little, in the way I loved so much.
Sweet baby Jesus, he stole my breath.
“Hey.” A faint smirk played on his lips as he let his eyes glide slowly down my body and back up again. I’d opted to wear a tight sweater dress that finished just below my knee. It skimmed my curves and scooped low on my chest. Demure yet sexy. Although from the heat in Jason’s gaze, I felt stripped naked.
“Fuck,” he breathed, leaning in to brush his lips over my cheek. “You look stunning.”
“You don’t look so bad yourself.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t at the airport. I wanted to surprise you and I knew Asher could give you a ride home.”
Home.
I loved hearing him refer to our apartment as home. It was so intimate, so permanent. It made it easy to forget the last few weeks and how strained things had been between us.
Jason tucked a curl behind my ear, letting his thumb brush my cheek and hover over my bottom lip. “I really, really want to fuck you right now.”
“Jason.” My breath caught, desire pooling in my stomach.
“But I made reservations, so that will have to wait.” He ran a hand down his face, torment glittering in his eyes as if he wasn’t sure.
“We could always stay home?” I batted my eyelashes.
“As tempting as that sounds, I have some making up to do. Dinner then sex.” He fixed his mouth over mine. It was hard and bruising and a promise of things to come. A shiver ran down my spine as I melted into him. “I know things have been hard, but I love you, Felicity. So fucking much.”
Jason
It took everything I had not to drag Felicity into the bedroom, strip the ridiculous sexy dress from her body and make love to her. Need pulsed through me as we kissed. My fingers slid into her silky strands, loving how soft it felt against my skin. She smelled amazing, like a vanilla and strawberry sundae. I wanted to taste her, trail my tongue up and down her body until she was a writhing mess beneath me.
Fuck, I wanted her.
It made me realize how much we needed this. We’d still been having sex. I was a hot-blooded guy and Felicity had a body built for sin. But I couldn’t remember the last time we played. Spent hours exploring each other’s bodies, finding new ways to make each other come undone. We were both busy, both exhausted by the time bedtime rolled around.
“What?” Felicity whispered, uncertainty shining in her eyes as I studied her.
“Just thinking how much I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too.” She curled her freshly painted nails into my shirt.
“Well, tonight is ours,” I said with confidence, threading our hands together.
“I can’t wa
it.” She smiled up at me, and my heart beat harder.
That single look... it was everything. And I knew that no matter how hard or demanding college got, we’d be okay. Because this girl—this beautiful, intelligent, driven woman—was mine.
Jason
The Rooftop was a fancy restaurant with incredible views of the city. The floor-to-ceiling windows made it feel like you were dining under the stars, even if it was too cold to sit out on the terrace.
“That was amazing,” Felicity let out a contented sigh as she placed down her silverware.
“I thought we could have dessert to go.”
Her cheeks pinked as my mind filled with images of her laid out beneath me. “Jason, stop.” It came out a little breathless.
“What?” I smirked. “I’m not doing anything.”
“You know exactly what you’re doing.” Her brow went up.
“Excuse me,” a voice said, and I shot the balding guy approaching our table an irritated look. “I hate to disturb you, but are you Jason Ford?”
“He is,” Felicity answered for me.
“My son is a huge fan. He’d never let me hear the end of it if I told him I saw you and didn’t ask for an autograph.”
Fuck. He wanted to do this now? When I was thinking about pulling Felicity into the nearest bathroom and eating her for dessert?
“I wouldn’t usually ask, but my son, well, he’s sick. It’s been a tough year and I just know this would make his day.”
Double fuck.
“Here.” Felicity leaned over and handed me a clean napkin while the guy thrust a pen into my hand.
“What’s your kid’s name?” I asked.
“Daniel. He’s eleven, followed your whole career.”
I uncapped the pen and scribbled a message before handing both of them to him. “Would you like to get a photo?”
“That would be... thank you,” he stuttered, digging out his cell.
Felicity came around to us and took the phone. “Say Quakers.”
I bit down on my cheek to stop chuckling.
“I took a couple.” She handed him the phone.
“Thank you so much. My son will be so excited.”
“You tell him to stay strong.”
“I will, and thanks again.” He sniffled, and I could see the flash of pain in his eyes.
Shit, was his son really sick?
Something twisted inside me.
“Wait,” I exhaled. “Maybe I could try to organize tickets for you to bring him down to a game.”
“You could?” The guy went slack jawed.
“Yeah.” Grabbing another napkin, I asked for the pen back and wrote down our PR’s number. “Call this number tomorrow and they’ll get you set up.”
“That is... thank you. Thank you so much.”
“Anytime.”
“Enjoy the rest of your evening.”
The guy walked away, looking back one last time. He waved the napkin and mouthed 'Thank you' again.
“Jason, that was—”
“Don’t,” I breathed. I didn’t want tonight to be about football, but this was my life, and it would only get more intense as I progressed through college, moving ever closer to my NFL dream.
“Excuse me,” I signaled to the server, “can we get the check please?”
Despite our private table in the corner of the room, other people had started to glance in our direction. If we didn’t get out of here soon, there was every chance we’d never make it.
“I’m sorry.” I ran a hand down my face. “I thought we’d have more privacy.”
“This is your life, Jason, I understand.” There was a flicker of sadness in her voice that damn near gutted me.
“But I don’t just want it to be my life, babe. I want it to be our life. Look, I know things have been intense the last few weeks... but the team—”
“Are important, I get it. This is your dream. I knew what I was signing on for.”
Except she didn’t. No one truly could until they’d lived it.
“I guess I just feel like everyone has it all figured out. You’re doing amazing, and I’m so proud of you, Jason, I am. You manage the team, your classes. Hailee and Cameron are loving Michigan and have made a whole life for themselves. Asher and Mya are... well, they’re Asher and Mya, nothing fazes them.”
I didn’t like hearing Felicity talk like that, as if everyone had found their place except her. Especially not when her place was right by my side.
“We should go...” She grabbed her purse.
“Talk to me, please. I don’t want football to come between us, not tonight.”
“It isn’t just football, Jason, it’s... everything.”
Well, shit.
I’d known things were bad. But perhaps I’d underestimated how much.
“Look, let’s go back to the apartment and talk. I hate that you’re feeling like this.”
“Okay.” Felicity gave me a small nod.
I dug out my wallet and pulled out some bills, adding them to the check. “Come on.” I reached for her hand. “Let’s go home.
Felicity
The night had been perfect. The restaurant was romantic with its sultry mood lighting and incredible views. The food was to die for. And being with Jason away from all the pressure of classes and the team was heavenly.
Until the stranger had approached asking for an autograph, and just like that the illusion came crumbling down around us, giving me a snapshot of what life with Jason would always be like. The more successful he became, the more recognized he became. The more recognized he became, the more the spotlight would shine down on him. And the more the spotlight shone, the more I wilted into the shadows.
“It’s chilly,” I said, as he held open the door for me and we spilled out into the inky night. Thanksgiving was in less than three weeks, and with it, the end of the football season.
Until next year.
“What are you—”
“Ford? What the hell, man,” Griffin ambled over to us, a small group of people trailing behind. “Fancy running into you guys.”
“Hey, Jason. We were just talking about you.”
My spine bristled at Shelly Halstead’s dulcet tone. She didn’t even look twice at me, fixing her overly made up eyes right on Jason.
“All good, I hope?” He gave a strained laugh, clutching my hand tighter.
“Oh, you know it.” She smirked, licking her lips seductively.
“We’re meeting Gio and a few of the guys at The Gridiron. You and Fee should come, hang out.”
“Actually, we’re just on our way home,” I said, giving Griffin a weak smile.
“Come on, one drink.” He pouted.
“You should totally come, Jason.” Shelly twirled a strand of hair around her finger. She couldn’t have been any more obvious if she'd tried.
But what did I expect?
Jason was the star... and I was invisible by all accounts.
“You should go,” I said before I could stop myself.
He gave me a confused look.
“Go, hang out with your friends. I’ll see you back at the apartment.”
“What are—”
I took a step backward right as Griffin and Shelly grabbed Jason and started steering him in the opposite direction. “We’ll return him to you in one piece,” Griffin called, but I was already hurrying away from them.
Tears burned the backs of my eyes as I folded my arms around myself and tried to fight the wave of emotion crashing over me.
“Felicity, wait...”
His voice gave me pause but it only made me angrier. It was irrational, I knew that. But I also knew Shelly had completely dismissed me just now, as if I was no one. Insignificant. Just a bug to be stepped on.
“Felicity, will you just wait a second?” He snagged my arm and I finally stopped, inhaling a ragged breath. “What are you doing?”
I pressed my lips together, willing myself not to cry. But tears clung precariously to my la
shes.
“Felicity, babe, look at me.” Jason began to turn me in his arms. “What the fuck is going on?”
“She just acted like I wasn’t even there.” I could barely look at him. This wasn’t me. I wasn’t insecure about a jersey chaser.
And yet...
“Shelly, you’re worried about Shelly? She’s no one to me, you know that.”
“I know.” My bottom lip quivered.
“Have I ever given you a reason to doubt me?”
I shook my head, unable to find the words to even begin to explain what was going on in my head, when I didn’t even truly understand it myself.
“You know I wouldn’t have gone with them just now, right?”
My eyes dropped, hating that such a lovely night was ruined.
“Look at me.” Jason slid his fingers under my jaw and tilted my face. “I need to hear you say the words, Felicity.”
“I know,” I whispered.
“Good.” His lips thinned. “Now can we please go home and salvage what was supposed to be a romantic night?”
“Okay,” I said the words, but I didn’t feel them. I was still stuck on that sidewalk, watching Shelly blatantly lust after my boyfriend as if I was nothing.
Wondering why it mattered so much.
Jason
Felicity was quiet the whole way home. Fucking Griffin and Shelly. It was as if the universe just wanted to fuck with me a little more, planting them right outside the restaurant. One minute we were all standing there, and the next, Felicity was telling me to go with them, as if I’d ever just abandon her like that.
Fuck. It stung.
By the time we made it up to our apartment, the air was thick and suffocating around us. I wanted to apologize, to spend the night showing her how much I loved her. How much I fucking needed her. But now... now I didn’t know what to say, let alone know how we even got to this point.
The second she opened the door, Felicity took off into the apartment.
I snagged her wrist. “Wait, we need to talk.”
“I’m tired, Jason. I think I’m just going to—”