by L A Cotton
“Fuck. That,” I ground out, feeling the edges of my control fray.
She spun around to face me, her eyes holding so much defeat, I felt sucker punched. “I don’t want to do this right now.”
“Do what? You’re talking like we’re over or something.”
Her eyes flickered to the ground. It was only a split second, but it was enough for my heart to plummet into my fucking toes.
She wanted to end it?
No.
No way.
It was just an argument. A silly argument after a few weeks of strain. It was nothing we couldn’t fix. But then she said seven little words that made me stumble back.
“I’m not sure I can do this anymore.”
“What?” I blinked at her. “What the fuck did you just say?”
We stared at each other for the longest second. Tears glossed Felicity’s eyes, streaking down her cheeks.
“Hold up, this is all because Shelly was there?”
“She acted like I was no one, Jason. Do you have any idea how horrible that makes me feel? Knowing that she thinks she can have you? As if I’m nothing.”
“Babe.” I stepped forward, needing to touch her. Needing to stop any more ridiculous words coming out of her mouth. “You know what she’s like.” A lot of the cheerleaders were the same, all desperate to bag a player. And unfortunately for me, I was at the top of the food chain. But I’d never even looked, let alone touched.
Not when I had all I could want right here.
“I thought I was strong enough...” she murmured, dropping her gaze again. “I thought we would come here, and I’d be at your side...”
“You are at my side.” I grabbed her shoulders. “You’re the only one I need at my side. I know I’ve been prioritizing the team, but it’s just for a few more weeks and then the season is over, and things will calm down.” My eyes bored into hers, pleading with her to believe me. “Shit, babe, where is all this coming from?”
“I’m barely keeping my head above water, Jason. And you... you make it look so easy. You have friends, the team, an endless stream of girls vying for your attention. That guy tonight, at the restaurant, he’s going to be the first of many. And I’m proud of you… God, I’m so proud of you. This is all you’ve ever wanted...”
My jaw clenched. The more she spoke, the more resigned she sounded. I gently laid my hand along the side of her neck. “I need you to hear what I’m about to say. You think I’m not blind with jealousy over the idea of you spending all your spare time with tutor boy? That it doesn’t drive me crazy knowing you’ve found someone to connect with about the thing you love? I. Fucking. Hate. It.” My fingers brushed her throat, feeling her pulse flutter beneath my fingers.
“I hate that you’ve found it hard to make friends and I hate how much I've let you down. But do you know what I hate the most? I hate that you’re standing there, doubting that I want you.” My hand dropped to the neckline of her sweater dress, gently tugging it down to reveal my brand on her skin. My thumb traced the small lettering. “What does it say?” I asked her.
“J- Jason.”
“Tell me what it says.”
“P- property of a Raider.”
“Damn right it does. You’re mine, Giles.” My hand slid back to her neck, holding her gently as I stared right into her eyes. “None of this means anything if you’re not by my side.”
Her lip quivered as she bit back a fresh wave of tears.
“I love you, woman. I love you too fucking much to ever let you walk away from me.”
“It’s only going to get harder,” she breathed. “Classes, your football career. What if I’m not strong—”
“Ssh.” I slid my thumb over her lips, leaning down to touch my head to hers. “You’re one of the strongest people I know, babe. Your heart, your compassion, the way you love so fiercely. I’m a lucky bastard to call you mine. I know things are hard right now, and I hate that I’ve made you doubt me, doubt us... but I need you, Felicity. I will always need you.”
A whimper escaped her lips, but I swallowed it, sealing my mouth over hers, and kissing her with everything I felt. The good, the bad... the downright unthinkable. Losing Felicity was not an option.
Not today.
Not tomorrow.
Not ever.
I just needed to figure out a way to show her that.
Felicity
I could taste the salty wetness of my tears as Jason pushed his tongue into my mouth and kissed me. Only, he didn’t just kiss me, he branded me. Marked me with his teeth and claimed me with his touch.
There were still things we needed to talk about, insecurities I needed to address, but for now, I allowed myself to get lost in the way he dominated my every thought.
“You look so fucking sexy in this dress.” His hands slipped down the back of my thighs and he hoisted me against him, forcing my legs around his waist. I could already feel him hard at my stomach. Thick and ready. Desire pulsed through me like a heartbeat.
“Jason,” I gasped, as he stalked me across the room and pushed me up against the wall.
Everything became desperate. We clawed at each other’s clothes, skin, and muscle. My fingers raked across Jason’s shoulders and back as he trailed hot wet kisses down my jaw and throat, lingering on my pulse point, flicking his tongue over my burning skin.
My hair cascaded around me as I dropped my head against the wall, greedy for more. Jason walked his fingers down my stomach, finding the hem of my dress and pushing it up my body, before sliding his hand between us.
“Oh God,” I cried as he rubbed me over my lace panties, creating an intoxicating friction.
“Fuck, babe, you’re so wet.” Hooking the material aside, he pushed two fingers inside me. A garbled moan broke from my lips as he added his thumb, dragging it over my clit. “This is mine,” he uttered against the corner of my mouth. “Always.” He curled his fingers, rubbing harder. “Forever.” He nipped my bottom lip, soothing the sting with his tongue. “Mine.”
A wave of intense pleasure crashed over me as I cried his name over and over. My hand went to his belt buckle, pulling it free and working his jeans off his hips just enough that his dick sprung free.
I needed him.
I needed him more than I had ever needed him before.
My hunger was frenzied, coursing inside me like wildfire. Jason’s eyes locked on mine as he slowly rocked forward, filling me to the hilt. “Fuck,” he breathed.
“Move,” I begged, my voice thick with lust. “I need you to—” The air whooshed from my lungs as he pulled out and slammed back inside of me.
He wasn’t gentle or tender, slow or sweet. Jason wasn’t making love to me now, he was imprinting himself on my soul, trying to carve his name on my bones.
“Mine,” he growled against my ear before running his tongue down my neck, licking and sucking.
“Jason, I can’t... it’s—”
“Ssh.” He pressed his head against mine, pinning me to the wall with his intense gaze. “I know what you need, Felicity. I will always know.” He punched his hips forward making us both cry out in ecstasy.
My hands wound around his neck, holding on for dear life. I would ache tomorrow, the wall rough against my back, my thighs pressed wide to accommodate Jason’s big body.
But right there, in that moment, I didn’t care. Because we were just two people so desperately and irrevocably in love that we were drowning in each other.
And I didn’t ever want to come up for air.
Jason
I told Coach I was going to be late to morning conditioning. After last night, I didn’t want to just up and leave this morning. I meant everything I’d said, but I wasn’t dipshit enough not to know that it wasn’t about what I said, it was about how Felicity felt.
I watched her sleep for a while. The soft rise and fall of her chest, the slight scrunch to her nose as she dreamed—of me hopefully—and the way her perfect fucking tits jiggled with every breath.
&nbs
p; Felicity was all I ever wanted. Every part of me was tied to every part of her, so the fact she doubted this, doubted us, it fucking killed me.
I’d tried to show her last night, but I knew sex wasn’t the answer.
But fuck, if it hadn’t blown my mind all the same. It felt like forever since I’d taken her so urgently. I hadn’t wanted to stop, high on the feel of her thighs pulling me closer, her perfect body pinned against the wall, on display for me. Her tattoo taunting me while I rocked into her over and over.
I reached out, tracing the curve of her hip where the sheet had fallen down her body.
“Jason,” she murmured.
“It’s me. Go back to sleep.”
“You’re still here?”
“I told Coach I’d be late.” I shuffled down the bed, pressing my body against the soft curves of hers.
“You did?” She finally cracked an eye open.
“Yeah. After last night...”
“Ssh.” Her finger pressed against my lips, the way mine had hers last night. “I don’t want to talk; I just want to enjoy this.”
Pushing the hair from Felicity’s face, I brushed my nose over hers. “I love you. You know that, right?”
“I know.” Her hand splayed over my chest, right where my heart lay. “I love you too.”
My shoulders sagged with relief. I hadn’t realized how much I needed to hear those words until now. “We’ll get through this, I promise.” Because anything else was not an option.
Felicity nodded. “What time do you have to leave?”
“I still have an hour.”
“Better make the most of it then.” She reached down and grasped my morning wood, sending a bolt of pleasure up my spine.
“Actually,” I couldn’t believe I was doing this, “I was hoping to take you to breakfast.” I kissed the end of her nose.
“Yeah?” Her uncertain smile made my heart crack wide open.
Damn, I had some making up to do. But I didn’t want to rush headfirst into shallow apologies and hasty grand declarations of love.
I wanted to show her, without doubt, that she was it for me.
But first, I wanted to take my girl to breakfast and feed her.
“Good?” I asked, watching with rapt fascination, and a touch of jealousy, as Felicity devoured her blueberry muffin.
“So good.” She grinned.
Mr. Java’s was a coffee shop off campus. It was less crowded, and we’d been able to grab a table by the window.
“So did Mya mention the Thanksgiving thing Asher’s mom is throwing?”
“Yeah.”
“And?”
“I assumed we’d go.” Felicity smiled. “She said I can invite my parents, or I’ll see them before.”
Things with Felicity’s dad were still strained. He didn’t look at me like I’d stolen and corrupted his only daughter anymore, but he still wasn’t my biggest fan either.
“Then we’ll all come back here on Friday to watch the game.”
Fuck.
The final game.
The season close was fast approaching.
“Asher also mentioned the possibility of spending a weekend in New York after the season is over. It could be pretty romantic.”
“That sounds nice.” Felicity smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes.
“Babe, me and you, we’re—”
“Hey, I didn’t expect to see you here.” Tutor boy loomed down over us, setting my jaw on edge.
“Oh, hey, Darcy. You remember my boyfriend, Jason?”
“As if I could forget. You’re big news around campus.”
“We’ve had a good season so far.” I sat back in my chair, dragging one leg over my knee. Darcy was a preppy type. Slacks and a sweater, hair slicked back, and a messenger bag looped over his shoulder. He was everything I wasn’t, everything I didn’t want to be. Yet, I couldn’t help but wonder if Felicity ever wished she’d fallen for someone more like him.
What the fuck was I doing?
Felicity didn’t want someone like Darcy Bannerman. She needed someone to temper her wild spirit, put up with her special brand of crazy.
She needed me.
“We all set for our session later?” He ignored my eyes drilling into his head and focused solely on my girl.
I had the sudden need to claim her, right there in the middle of the fucking coffee shop. I shifted uncomfortably, pissed that he was invoking such a carnal reaction from me.
Now you know how Felicity feels, asshole.
“Yeah, I’ll see you later, okay?” Her polite dismissal made my heart soar.
“Uh, sure.” Tutor boy hesitated. “I’ll see you later. Jason, it was a pleasure.”
I bet it was, asshole.
He left the coffee shop and Felicity let out a little sigh of relief. “You can stop glaring now.” She chuckled.
“Do you ever wish—”
“Don’t even say it. I don’t want Darcy, he’s my tutor.”
“Yeah, but he gets all that stuff you love so much.”
God, why was everything so fucking messed up? It was like we took one step forward and two steps back.
“Jason, I love you.” Felicity shuffled forward on her chair. “I guess I just underestimated how hard all this would be.”
“I know and I wish it could be different. But—”
“I get it, I do. I would never ever want you to give up your dream. You’ve worked too hard for it.”
“I love you.”
The words were fast becoming a stitch for the frayed seams of our relationship. But I didn’t know how to fix it. I didn’t know how to make Felicity believe I needed her.
Her green eyes fluttered closed and when she opened them again, all I saw was a girl desperately trying to cling onto her dream.
She gave me a sad smile and said, “I know.”
Felicity
“Hello, do you mind if I sit here?” I said to the girl meticulously unpacking her supplies onto the small desk.
“Sure.” She barely glanced at me.
After breakfast with Jason on Monday, I’d decided to brush myself off and revert back to my old habit of making a list. Back in high school, it had helped me feel in control of my life, so why not here?
But instead of writing a college bucket list, I’d decided to keep it simple. One task a day.
Today’s task: make a new friend.
It sounded simple, and yet, it was something I’d struggled with. Even in my classes full of likeminded students, I’d failed to really connect with anyone. But I’d noticed Elodie and she was always alone, always sitting at the back of lectures. So I’d decided that maybe she was like me; maybe she also found it hard to connect.
“I’m Felicity,” I said. “Felicity Giles.”
“Oh. My. God,” she breathed. “I thought it was you.” Her whole face transformed. Gone was the shy, quiet student I’d seen around classes, replaced with a starry-eyed girl who stared at me like I was the second coming.
“I mean, I’ve heard your name around... but I didn’t know... wow. You’re like dating Jason Ford. That is... wow. I’m a huge fan.”
My lips pressed into a thin line. I couldn’t escape. No matter where I turned, who I talked to, I would always be Jason Ford’s girlfriend.
“That’s me.” I gave her a weak smile. I didn’t have the heart to ruin her morning since she seemed so excited to be talking to me.
“I’m a huge fan... huge. Followed the Quakers my whole life. My dad played for them... he’s kind of Quaker royalty. That’s why I keep myself to myself.” She glanced around conspiratorially. “And oh my god, I’m doing it, aren’t I? I’m totally being that weird obsessed fan that I try so hard to avoid.”
“Yeah, you kind of are.” Strangled laughter bubbled in my chest.
“I’m sorry, it’s just... damn, girl.” She clutched the edge of her desk and leaned closer. “You’re dating Jason Ford, one of the best quarterbacks the NCAA has seen in at least a decade. That’s go
t to be something.”
Oh, it was something all right.
“Hey, would you like to get a coffee after class? In a totally non-creeper kind of way. I’m Elodie by the way. Elodie Faltham.”
“I...”
This so wasn’t how I'd seen the conversation going. I’d wanted to make a friend, to strike up conversation with someone who wouldn’t automatically pigeonhole me as Jason Ford’s girlfriend. But maybe she got it, maybe she understood more than most.
“I promise I’m not usually this weird,” she added as if she could hear my inner turmoil. “I’m just passionate about the things I love, and it just so happens I really love football, almost as much as I love animals.” Her smile grew.
That sealed the deal.
A girl who could love football and animals...
Despite her shaky introduction, Elodie Faltham sounded like my kind of girl.
Felicity
“Holy freaking crap, this is amazing,” Elodie shrieked beside me as the team jogged out onto the field.
Jordan had needed to go home for the weekend, something to do with a family emergency. She kindly offered to donate her ticket to my new friend. I wasn’t sure Elodie warranted friend status yet, but we had hung out a couple of times, and we always sat together in class now. After her initial excitement that I was dating Jason, she reined herself in, and kept our conversation to safer topics like my volunteer work at the shelter and her dream of one day working with big cats in African reservations.
“I mean, I’ve been to all their games, but I’ve never even come close to scoring seats this good. Thank you so much.” She gave me a big grin and I couldn’t help but be infected by her enthusiasm. She reminded me of... well, me back in high school, eager to soak up senior year and all that came with it.
“Oh my god, there he is.” She pointed to Jason and I let out a small chuckle.
“Yep, that’s him.”
“Oh God, I’m doing it again, aren’t I?” Her brows knitted. “I’m sorry, it’s just—”
“It’s okay. Enjoy it.”
The atmosphere in Franklin Field was electric, everyone high on the team’s perfect season so far. If they won tonight, it would leave them with two games to play and the league title in sight.