by Layla Nash
“For a little while, anyway,” Rafe said. He squeezed my shoulder and started to follow Meadow into the hall. “Congratulations, by the way.”
I gripped the door, starting to frown again. “Congratulations? For what?”
“The baby.” And he gestured at my stomach.
I blinked. My mind wouldn’t form a coherent thought as I stared at him. A flush slowly climbed his cheeks, and Meadow glared at him with a mix of fury and horror. I cleared my throat. “I’m sorry, what? Did you just say... What did you just say?”
“Uh...” Rafe shifted his feet and tried to back up more, like he thought I might take a swing at him. “Just... You, uh, smell like you’re pregnant. The wolf can tell. I thought you knew.”
Meadow smacked her forehead and hissed, “What is wrong with you?”
A loud rushing noise filled my ears and I kept blinking, hoping that something would occur to me. He had to be wrong. I couldn’t be pregnant. “I don’t... It’s just not possible.”
“I’m probably wrong,” Rafe said. He held his hands up and started edging toward the elevators. “Don’t listen to me. Ow. Meadow, stop pinching me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
My brain short-circuited and I was still staring blankly at the hall as Meadow apologized profusely for her mate and promised to look in on me. Then they disappeared behind the soft bing of the elevator. Still I stood there, trying to remember how to breathe.
Pregnant?
Chapter 48
Percy
Eventually I remembered to shut the door. I found myself back on the couch, staring at the floor-to-ceiling windows with a view of the city, but not really seeing anything. It just wasn’t possible. After everything that happened, after everything my body had been through at the animal sanctuary, surely...
I shivered and got up to pace, my stomach turning over. Sure, there had been that marathon night with Dodge, and yeah, we’d forgotten a condom that one time... and then again in the shower... But...
I shook myself as panic bubbled up. I’d been nauseated a lot, and worn down, and thrown up more than once. Could it have been morning sickness? Fatigue from being pregnant? I’d been at the hospital for almost two full weeks. They’d done so much bloodwork it was a miracle I had enough left for my veins. Which was why I hadn’t been surprised when I didn’t get my period as expected. For two months.
My hands started to shake as I made another circuit of the living room. It just wasn’t possible. Not possible. Not even in the realm of possibility. With all the injuries and surgeries and everything else, it just wasn’t possible that a baby survived with me.
I barely managed to pick up my phone without dropping it, and it took me three tries to finally get Deirdre’s phone number on the screen. When she answered, my voice cracked immediately and tears started to fall. “I n-need to talk to someone. Can you come over? It’s – im-im-important.”
“Whoa, girl,” she said. Noise in the background made it clear she was outside and moving around. “What’s wrong?”
I couldn’t say the words out loud, not yet. That would make it real. Once said, they couldn’t be un-said. I squeezed my eyes shut as more tears escaped. “I just – can you come over? I know it’s an imposition and I wouldn’t have asked if...”
“It’s not an imposition,” she said, sounding impatient. “I’m nearby running errands. I’ll be there in five, okay? Just keep yourself calm and make some tea. Don’t get worked up. Whatever it is, we’ll handle it. Okay?”
The confidence in her tone helped immensely, so I had stopped crying by the time she knocked on the door. I still felt like a mess and couldn’t stop pacing around in jerky movements, but at least I wasn’t sobbing. Although the tears started again the moment I opened the door and found her standing outside.
Deirdre’s eyebrows shot up the second she got a look at me. “Jesus Christ, what’s wrong? What happened? Did someone – stop by?”
The guarded tone made me wonder who she’d expected to upset me. Maybe Rafe or Meadow reached out to her to explain what happened. I flopped onto the couch and waited as she dropped several bags near the door before joining me. “Well, Rafe and Meadow were here. They came by to invite me to dinner.”
“Okay.” She eyed me, waiting for the other shoe.
I wiped furiously at my cheeks and tried to steady myself. I really didn’t want to say it out loud. What if it was true? What if it wasn’t? “And Rafe s-said that I smelled preg-pregnant. He said the wolf could smell it. He thinks I’m pregnant.”
Her jaw went slack, and for the first time I could remember, the witch was speechless.
The silence just gave more time for the torrent of feelings and fears to spill out. “It has to be Dodge’s. If it’s true, it has to be Dodge’s. But he doesn’t want me. He doesn’t want anything to do with me. I don’t know... Will it be a wolf? If it’s his, I mean, does that mean I might give birth to a puppy? And I don’t have a job. I have no references and I can’t get a job and how the fuck am I going to afford a baby with all my student loans and I’m not even paying for this apartment. I never thought about being a single mom, I can’t – I can’t...”
She held her hands up. “Whoa. Take a breath. I’m serious. Deep breath. That’s it. Nice and easy. No use getting worked up. Have you taken a pregnancy test?”
“No.” I stared at her. “They literally just left ten minutes ago. I couldn’t... I didn’t know what to do.”
“So you called me?” She smiled, amused, but reached over to squeeze my hand. “I’m flattered. Seriously. But there’s no reason to get worked up until you’ve taken a test or gone to the doctor. Right? It could be nothing. I find it hard to believe that Rafe has been around enough pregnant women to know what they smell like, and everyone smells different, from what Miles says. So let’s just take a test. Okay?”
I nodded woodenly, still searching for equilibrium, and watched as she went to the bags she’d left by the door. When she pulled out a box of pregnancy tests, I stared at her even more. “What? Are you psychic? Seriously? How the fuck did you... How...”
Her cheeks flushed as she returned to the living room and opened the box a little self-consciously. “I’m not psychic, I promise. I was getting these for me. I’m late. We weren’t trying, really, but he’s never been good about protection and I stopped taking my birth control a couple months ago, so... It could have just happened.”
My head spun. “Congratulations?”
She laughed, but I knew her well enough to see the nervousness in her eyes, the uncertainty in the way she studied the box and fiddled with one of the tests. “Nothing to congratulate yet, friend. I wasn’t looking forward to taking this by myself, so thanks for making it easier. We both take one and then we both get the results at the same time. Cool?”
“This is the weirdest thing ever,” I said, but I took the test and headed for a bathroom. It was definitely not the way I’d envisioned my day going, but at least I didn’t have to wait to find out the answer. I just hoped I was prepared for whatever the test said.
Chapter 49
Dodge
He didn’t bother going back to his room upstairs, and instead slept in the cellar. Silas lurked around, though they were both allowed upstairs and could go wherever they wanted. Dodge didn’t want to be in his room because it no longer smelled like Persephone. His pillows had carried her scent for a week or so after their night together, but after two months... Not a hint of her remained. It was too painful.
He was pleasantly buzzed, working his way to black-out drunk, when his phone rang. Dodge wanted to ignore it until whoever it was gave up, but after the first time it stopped, the ringing started again. Silas grumbled and shot him a dirty look from where the wolf lounged on a futon across the room. Evershaw finally upgraded the furniture down there when it was obvious neither Dodge nor Silas wanted to leave the dark underground.
Dodge fumbled on the floor until he picked up the damn phone, pressing it to his ear and squinting into the
cellar as if he could see who called. “Yeah?”
“It’s O’Shea,” a rough voice said.
Dodge’s eyes narrowed and he sat up slowly. Why the fuck was Rafe O’Shea calling him? Had something happened to Persephone? “Is she okay?”
“She’s fine,” O’Shea said. He’d called once or twice over the previous few weeks, mostly to give status updates to Evershaw, but him calling Dodge was new. The wolf alpha’s voice held a strange, unknown tension. “Stopped by to see her today. She’s doing okay, though she looks thin and might have some kind of cold. Have Mercy check on her tomorrow.”
Dodge tensed. Something else was going on. “You were there? You saw her? Why were you at her apartment?”
He hated the idea of another male – even one happily mated to his own soul-mate – being near Persephone, particularly if she wasn’t feeling well.
O’Shea grumbled but answered, as if he sensed why it drove Dodge crazy. “Meadow wanted to invite her to dinner. So we did. Percy said she would think about it and might come over later this week. She said...”
The wolf alpha hesitated and Dodge’s hackles rose. The bastard wasn’t telling him something. He ground his teeth until agony ignited in his temples and Silas sat up in alarm. “What did she say?”
The silence stretched until Dodge had to swallow a howl of rage. Finally, O’Shea said, “She said she might want to join our pack. To join BloodMoon.”
Growling drowned out whatever else O’Shea might have tried to say, and Dodge felt the wolf clawing at his control. No. Persephone would not join a different pack. If she joined a pack, it would be his pack. At his side. With him.
“Shut up, asshole, and let me finish,” O’shea barked. “For fuck’s sake. She asked, I gave her my contact information and told her she was always welcome. I know – would you just stop fucking growling for a second – I know she’s your mate and I know you want her with you, but if she wants to join my pack, the door is fucking open. Doesn’t matter what you say or do, man. We’ll protect her. And if she doesn’t want to be around you, then it’s better she’s with BloodMoon than on her own.”
Dodge didn’t believe him. Persephone needed to be with him. The wolf kept snarling, even after O’Shea called him an asshole again and hung up. Not even the rest of the bottle of whiskey helped calm the beast. Dodge paced and growled as his thoughts whirled. Cricket weaseled his way down the stairs and hopped onto the futon next to Silas, trying to snuggle up to the wolf – who sneezed on the cat and nosed him away over and over. Cricket kept circling back around until Silas gave up and let himself be used as a pillow, though he kept his attention on Dodge.
Dodge still couldn’t process what O’Shea had said when the cellar door opened and Todd stuck his head in. His expression darkened when he saw Dodge, and the second’s voice reached him as a bark. “It smells like shit down here. Go get cleaned up. We’re having guests for dinner and Deirdre said you’re going to sit there and be nice. She doesn’t want you hiding in the basement like a troll.”
He growled in response. The words wouldn’t form in his throat when the wolf was so close to the surface.
Todd’s eyes narrowed and he advanced a few steps to peer more closely at Dodge. “Don’t tell me you’re starting this again. Do I need to get Evershaw down here to straighten you out?”
“No,” Dodge muttered. He reined in the wolf as much as he could, but he didn’t get up from his futon. He didn’t trust his legs or his balance enough to get up in front of Todd. “I’ll be upstairs in a minute. I’ll behave.”
“See that you do.” Todd gave him one last long look, then trudged upstairs and shouted at someone else about washing the dishes and using a tablecloth for once.
Dodge scowled into the half-light after the cellar door thudded shut. He glanced at the whiskey bottle, but put it back on the shelf. There was time to finish it later, after dinner, when he could be alone again. He traded a look with Silas, who rolled his eyes and did his best to ignore as the cat purred and kneaded his paws into Silas’s back, and finally started trying to get up. “Fine. I’ll go to dinner. It better be good. Who the fuck is even coming over? We don’t have guests.”
Silas grumbled and stretched out, closing his eyes for a nap. The cat finally settled down on the wolf’s shoulder in a ball with his tail over his nose, his eyes still following Dodge with a curious intensity.
Dodge envied Silas. Things would have been easier if he’d remained stuck as a wolf, so long as he remained in his right mind. Even the cat was happier than he was.
He finally hauled himself out of the cellar and up to his old room so he could shower and find clothes that were mostly clean. Mercy had been after him to clean up and deal with the laundry, though he’d dragged his heels about that too. There didn’t seem to be any reason to worry about clean jeans or shirts without stains on them, not if Persephone wasn’t in his life. None of it mattered without her.
He stayed in the shower until the water ran cold – not because he enjoyed it, but because he dreaded facing the bed where they’d been together. He’d felt things he’d never felt with any woman before her. He’d never feel them again. Dodge groaned and let the freezing water run over him. Maybe it would numb him enough to get through the next couple of hours and whatever dinner Deirdre and Evershaw subjected him to.
He closed his eyes and tried to breathe through the pain. He could get through it and then return to the cellar and his bottle of booze. He just had to survive a couple of hours.
Chapter 50
Percy
I stared at the instructions, then at the test. Over and over and over again, because what I saw didn’t compute. It wasn’t possible. It just wasn’t possible.
Pregnant. A positive test. Pregnant.
I didn’t know how long I’d been sitting in the bathroom, trying to figure out what the fuck had happened, but eventually Deirdre knocked on the door. She, too, looked a little pale and shaken.
Our eyes met and it was clear we’d gotten the same news.
I couldn’t speak, my mouth hanging open as I held up the test I’d peed on. She held up hers and took a very, very deep breath. “So. Here we are.”
It was too weird. It felt like I hadn’t known her long enough to be showing her something I’d peed on, or leaning on her when I’d gotten life-changing news. Of course, she’d been there the last time I got life-changing news, that werewolves and witches actually existed. So maybe it was meant to be.
Deirdre tilted her head at the living room. “I’m going to go sit on the couch and try to get my head around this, if you want to join me. Whenever you’re ready.”
She staggered back to the couch to flop down and shake her head, staring off at nothing.
I’d always thought if I was pregnant, there would be a husband, a house, and a plan. That it would be an immediate barrage of joy and excitement, that there would be someone else with me who really, really wanted that little life. My chest felt tight and everything went hot and then cold. I had to hold onto the sink so I didn’t fall off the toilet.
My throat closed until it grew harder to breathe. What was I going to tell Dodge? Should I tell Dodge? Did he care? Did he deserve to know? I covered my face and leaned forward, trying to block out reality. First thing first, I had to find a doctor and make an appointment. ASAP. Maybe the test was wrong and a blood test would have a different result. But in my heart I knew it was accurate. I was pregnant with Dodge’s baby.
There had to be a good book to read on how to deal with things like that. To-do lists and checklists and a flow-chart or something to help navigate what the fuck I was supposed to do. What the hell was the step after the doctor’s appointment? Prenatal vitamins? Did I stop eating cheese? Was I going to get a raging caffeine headache from giving up my espresso, cold turkey?
I ground the heels of my hands into my eyes as my heart beat faster and I started to shake. I was going to be a mom, probably a single mom. Facing the world without a real job or savings, not payin
g for my own apartment, and surrounded by people who turned into lions and wolves and occasionally went around killing people if they thought they deserved it.
I froze, staring at the bathroom floor. People who turned into lions and wolves. Dodge turned into a wolf, and if it was his baby... I lurched to my feet and headed for the living room. They’d said at the restaurant that shifters were born or turned. Born.
Deirdre looked up as I approached, a hint of concern crossing her expression. “You’re looking a little crazy, Percy. Sit down for a sec and we can talk.”
I couldn’t sit but paced back and forth, grabbing my hair as I tried to keep the thoughts in my head in order. It was just too much to process. Too much to understand and plan for and deal with. There wasn’t a clear solution to this problem. There wasn’t a checklist to deal with having a baby who was part wolf and the dad probably didn’t want to be with me. “I... What am I going to do?”
She massaged her temples. “Well, we should probably...”
I couldn’t wait for her to finish before the words burst out of me and tears blurred my vision for the third or fourth time that day. “Dodge doesn’t want me. He doesn’t want anything to do with me. He hasn’t said a word or visited since I left the hospital. How am I supposed to tell him this? He’s going to be trapped and he already hates me. It’s not like he signed up to be a father.”
“Well, about that...” she started again, holding a hand up to catch my attention.
But there was too much going on in my head. Too many new problems. Panic swirled up until I started to feel it in my chest, and shoulders, and guts, sending my hands shaking and my heart fluttering. Tears streamed down my face. “And – and it’s Dodge’s baby, one hundred percent. There’s no other possibility. And he’s a shifter. He was born that way. His mother was a shifter but his dad was human. Does that mean the baby will be human because I’m human? Or does it matter? Am I going to have a - a - a puppy? A wolf? How the hell will I find a daycare that can deal with a kid who turns into a puppy?”