Peyton's Path: Fickle Fate: Book 3

by SM Olivier

  “Stop trying to steal my girl, man,” Paxton protested with a grin before he placed his arms around both of us.

  “Mine!” Clay crowed before wrapping his plump arms around my neck and squeezing.

  “No, mine!” Paxton argued teasingly back.

  “Mine!” Clay tucked his head under my neck before sticking his thumb into his mouth.

  “Yes, yours,” I crooned with a mischievous smile in Paxton’s direction.

  I gently patted Clay’s back before picking up my backpack that held a few pairs of shoes, tablets, and chargers. As expected, Paxton took the bag from me and slung it over his shoulders.

  “I’ll let you believe that Peyton’s yours for now, you little punk,” Paxton said, playfully tugging on one of Clay’s curls.

  “Punk!” Clay mutinously repeated.

  “Pax!” I mockingly growled at Paxton as he riotously started laughing. “He’s going to go back to daycare and teach all his friends that not-nice word!”

  “Not nice,” Clay mimicked.

  Paxton laughed once more, and I ruefully smiled as we headed towards the stairs. “Little parrot.” I kissed the top of Clay’s head.

  He pulled back and grinned at me. My heart melted at his precious beauty.

  As we made our way outside, I noticed that Crew and Kyler had my bike loaded up on a trailer behind one of the large SUVs. Zane was packing up the back end of another SUV with our stuff, and Sal was loading his bags in their black Audi.

  “Ready?” Lochlann asked as he came up behind me.

  “Ready, Freddy!” Maisie cried out excitedly as she came barreling out of the door behind us.

  Her little feet didn’t even touch the stairs as she took a running leap and jumped down. Her long pigtails and backpack bounced with each step she took.

  She suddenly whirled around. “Are we stopping to get snacks?”

  “That’s the plan, Moo, now get in your car seat,” Kyler commanded her with a smile.

  “Where’s Renee?” I asked, finally noticing her absence.

  Renee was the only one who didn’t look at me with pity or treat me like broken glass. I appreciated her ability to realize that was the last thing I wanted or needed from her or anyone else. Even though she was two years younger than me, she had a maturity level that rivaled many of my peers.

  “We’re going to pick her up from the dance studio,” Zane explained. “I hope you’re ready for classes on Monday. It’s competition season, and Mom won’t let up now that she knows we’re performing together.”

  I paused before putting Clay into his car seat. I had completely forgotten that the Elite Vibe competition was next weekend. That flare of excitement I got riding this morning rekindled itself as I thought about our dance. We already had it down before I was abducted, so it wouldn’t take me long to reacquaint myself with the song, the choreography, and Zane.

  “Mom’s not rushing you,” Zane added hesitantly.

  “No!” I instantly protested. “I just forgot it was this weekend. I’m looking forward to dancing with you.”

  “Did Bryce clear you?” Paxton inquired with a frown.

  I barely refrained from sighing as I clicked Clay into his car seat. I smoothed his hair back and wondered if we should get it cut soon since it was nearly down to his shoulders and always fell into his eyes. My only concern was I didn’t want him to lose his curls. I had a friend that was born with a head full of curls, but once they cut them, they never returned. I couldn’t imagine my Clay without them!

  “Yes,” Kyler answered for me.

  I smiled up at him, thankful for answering for me while I got easily distracted. It happened a lot nowadays.

  Kyler had gone to my last appointment with me, and he wouldn’t have allowed me to return to dancing unless I had gotten a clean bill of health.

  “I already caught her dancing the other day,” Golden teased as he threw his bags into the truck.

  Me and Golden: I couldn’t explain the state of our relationship, even if I tried. There was clearly dissension between us that wasn’t there before. I knew he still blamed himself for my abduction. However, there wasn’t even a tiny part of me that found him culpable. Even if he had been in the best shape of his life, there was no guarantee that Coach wouldn’t have been able to carry me away.

  In my new… vulnerable state, I was still plagued with doubts. Part of me even wondered if his and Madison’s relationship would have grown had I never returned. Was there a proper time of “mourning” that should have occurred? I knew he said he hadn’t reciprocated the kiss or her feelings, but there was no denying their easy friendship. Hell, he had holed himself away with her for several days after my return. I wondered if they would have continued that behavior had I not confronted them.

  Honestly, they were similar in many ways. If I hadn’t met Golden first and grown feelings for him, I could easily see them together. Looks-wise, they even complimented each other. They were the perfect Ken and Barbie. Both of them were blond, golden, and charming. Sometimes it was a bitter pill to swallow, mostly because I felt all the guys deserved to be in a relationship with a woman that focused all her attention on them and didn’t have to divide it.

  “You just got cleared yesterday.” Kyler gave me a reproaching look.

  I smiled and shrugged, back to the subject of dancing again. “I know my limitations.”

  Golden’s phone began to ring, and he pulled it out of his pocket. The smile on his lips died, and he looked at me with a look akin to guilt before he swiped his finger over his screen. It rang again seconds later.

  I immediately knew it was Madison. She was persistent when she set her mind to something. She also seized any opportunity given to her to seek her desires. It was clear she wasn’t over Golden yet.

  I was also informed that they were paired up together for a project on Wednesday. I didn’t know if my irritation stemmed from the many classes they shared or from the project they were expected to spend additional time together with.

  “Just answer it,” I said tersely before going on the opposite side to get in the vehicle. “I already heard how you guys have a Spanish project together.”

  It still exasperated me that Paxton had informed me about their project and not Golden.

  “My Spanish teacher wouldn’t let me switch partners.” Golden frowned as he followed me.

  “Okay.” I tried to give him a nonchalant shrug.

  Inside, I was seething. I knew Golden and Madison had just been assigned the project, but he should have told me. I shouldn’t have found out from Paxton. His unwillingness to let me know made me believe he behaved as if he had something to hide.

  Madison shared quite a few classes with Golden, so I knew it was inevitable that they saw each other and still talked. I didn’t expect him to behave cruelly towards her or shun her entirely, but I didn’t want him hanging out with her either.

  It wasn’t necessarily a jealousy issue; it didn’t bother me or make me worried when they hung out with Renee or gave her rides. Maybe it was because I trusted Renee more, which was sad. Madison and I had been best friends for fifteen years. I should have never had to worry about her with one of my guys.

  His phone began ringing once more, and I rolled my eyes as I slid into the seat beside Clay. I buckled in as Zane took the place on my opposite side.

  “He’s trying,” Zane said softly.

  I nodded, unwilling to talk about it right now.

  “Because this weekend doesn’t work,” Golden was saying as he paced by the door. “Maddie, please,” he continued.

  I scoffed silently at the nickname as I crossed my arms over my chest. Madison absolutely despised it. Yet Golden called her by it all the time and I never heard her correct him.

  “I can’t do this right now,” Golden’s voice drifted inside the vehicle. “I’m busy. We have over a week before the assignment is due. I’ll do my half. You can do your half. Then we’ll talk to each other in Spanish class.” He paused for a moment.
“I can’t come by your apartment, and you can’t come over here. I’m sorry, but that’s how it’s going to have to be. Look, I got to go. I’ll see you at school on Monday.”

  He hung up and looked at me. “I’m sorry.” He gave me an apologetic look.

  I could see his struggle. I knew he had formed a friendship with Madison, and they had found comfort in each other in my absence. I also could see that they could have been perfect for each other in different circumstances. I think that’s what I struggled with the most.

  “Madison doesn’t seem to understand that I can’t be her friend and be with you at the same time,” Golden continued.

  “But you want to be,” I stated as I slipped off Clay’s shoes. He had an aversion to his footwear, and we were in for a lengthy road trip. If he ripped them off, they were guaranteed to end up beneath the seat or on the side of the door, or worse, lost to the void.

  “I never said that!” Golden gave me a combination look of exasperation and silent pleading, then cast a furtive glance over at Zane. “Can we talk about this later? It’s bad enough that everything I say or do is on blast. I wasn’t even given a chance to tell you about my project before somebody opened their big mouth.” He glared towards Paxton, who slid into the passenger seat.

  Paxton gave a careless shrug. “You got the assignment yesterday. I would have assumed you would have told her. It slipped out on the way home today. I didn’t think I was spilling any secrets. This is on you, bro.”

  “I was on concessions last night after school for the track meet. By the time I got home, she was asleep. When did I have time to tell her?” Golden sneered as he braced himself on my open door.

  “This,” Paxton held up his phone. “It’s called a phone, and we have an amazing service. You could have texted Peyton.”

  I really appreciated Paxton’s candor.

  “I saw you over breakfast,” I reminded Golden.

  “Are we ready?” Lochlann asked as he pulled up beside us, windows down. “Everything okay?”

  “I think we’ll ride with you or Kyler,” Zane informed him.

  I began to protest, but Zane firmly shook his head. “You guys need to talk,” he insisted, motioning to Golden. “You’re driving with Peyton and Clay.”

  I was just as reluctant to have this discussion as Golden was. If he wanted to continue kicking the can down the road, maybe his actions were speaking louder than his words.

  “Come on, Pax,” Zane insisted before he climbed out from behind the driver’s seat.

  Pax rolled his eyes but reluctantly climbed out, too. “Don’t be a dumbass,” he muttered in Golden’s direction.

  Golden flipped him the bird without even bothering to look at him.

  I sighed but climbed out of the back seat to slide into the front seat. It looked like we were having this conversation, ready or not.

  “I don’t want to be with Madison,” Golden insisted after he slid into the driver’s seat. He put the SUV in drive and followed Lochlann down the driveway.

  “It’s hard to believe that at times. I mean, technically, you were able to forge a tighter bond with her in the eighteen days of my absence than the time we had before I was taken,” I argued. “Are you sure you still want to be with me? If you remain with me, you’ll always be fighting for my attention with five other guys, and let’s not forget school and dance. If there’s any doubt about us, I rather you make that decision now. I won’t even hold a grudge or condemn your decision.”

  The words tasted bitter in my mouth, but I felt compelled to tell him how I felt. I didn’t want him to be with me out of some sense of obligation. I didn’t want him to attempt to make our relationship work if he wanted to be with Madison. It was going to hurt letting him go, but sometimes letting go of the proverbial rope instead of clutching it tight caused less damage.

  Golden sighed deeply. The knuckles of one hand beat against the steering wheel in agitation, while the other hand ran through his golden locks. It had gotten longer in my absence, and he hadn’t cut it since my return. Now it had a heavy wave to it.

  “I want to be with you,” Golden insisted before he glanced in my direction. “I just have this constant feeling that we take two steps forward, then three steps back. I’ve tried to atone for my mistakes, and I feel like you’ll never forgive me for Madison kissing me. She kissed me! You can ask the guys. After she kissed me, I put distance between us. She’s a cool girl, but I want a relationship with you. However, I can’t work on this and us if you pull me in close one minute and push me away the next.

  “I want to know if you even want me anymore,” he continued. “Are you insisting I try to build a relationship with Madison because you know you’ll never wholly forgive me? I know I made a mistake. I knew I shouldn’t have been so reliant on her companionship. I honestly don’t believe I ever led her on or even encouraged her feelings. If you can’t find it in your heart to truly forgive me, I feel like I’m just spinning my wheels. I’m trying. I can’t help it that we go to the same school and have most of the same classes. I haven’t encouraged Madison to call and text me continually. Short of blocking her, I’m not sure what you want me to do."

  He paused for a minute, then nodded thoughtfully. “I know what I want and who I want, and that’s you, Peyton. Are you certain you still want me? Because if you do, I can’t continue feeling like no matter what I say or do, you’ll never trust me again.”

  I heard the vulnerability in his voice, and once again, I felt torn between my feelings. I wanted to forgive him, but the thought of Madison kissing him still plagued me.

  But I had to admit that he was right. I had allowed my bitterness and insecurities to affect our relationship time and time again since my return. I needed to either let those go or let him go. I just didn’t know what would be best for my mental health in the long run.

  “I want to be with you,” I admitted quietly. “I just don’t know where to go from here. I want to forgive you. However, I’m a realist. If I so much as see Madison around you in school on Monday, I know I’m gonna have ugly emotions.” My voice cracked unexpectedly, and I felt the warmth of tears burn my eyes. I didn’t want to let Golden go. I desired the relationship we had− before I was taken− back.

  “I’ve never been a jealous person, Golden,” I said, my voice trembling with feeling. “I think it’s such a soul-sucking emotion. I don’t want to be that person, and I’m not sure I know how to stop those feelings. What if we’re too toxic for each other?”

  Golden grasped my hand and squeezed it. “Don’t give up on me.” His voice cracked with his own emotion. “Don’t give up on us. Let me prove to you that we are meant to be together.”

  I wiped my eyes with the back of my sleeve. I hated crying. I hated the tightness in my chest, the puffiness it made to my eyes, the runny nose, and the wholly drained feeling I felt afterward. I pulled my knees up to my chest and leaned my head against my knees, trying to avert my eyes from him so he didn’t see my tears. I was overwhelmed with many emotions, but I didn’t know how to articulate them all.

  “Don’t cry, darlin’.” He reached into the glove box and handed me a pack of travel-sized tissues. “Please.”

  I looked over at him and tried to give him a watery smile. I wanted to tell him I wouldn’t be crying if it weren’t for his actions, but I knew further recriminations would get us nowhere. I wanted an us. I just hoped I wouldn’t regret my decision in the future. I had begun to fall for him, but it was early yet. Maybe I could salvage my heart by walking away now. However, I didn’t want to live with the regret that I hadn’t tried hard enough on our relationship.

  I pulled out a tissue with shaky hands and wiped my nose, then drew a deep, shaky breath in. “We have a lot of work to do,” I whispered.

  “And I’ll bust my ass showing you,” Golden said fervently, looking very relieved. “We need to communicate more. Please just tell me how to fix this.”

  “I don’t know where to begin,” I admitted quietly. “So m
any thoughts and feelings are crammed in my head. I don’t want to give you a list when I know I need to work on myself, too. How about we talk about it as we go? No more tip-toeing around our issues?”

  “Deal,” Golden’s deep southern voice drawled. He grabbed my hand, smiled at me, and kissed the back of it. “I don’t think communication, real communication, was anything we have ever been good with.”

  I nodded in agreement. Golden was right. We were both great at putting up a façade to fool others. I still had no clue why he was put in the system, but I knew it wasn’t a pretty story, just like Paxton’s. I never even broached the subject with him. Golden hid a dark side behind his charismatic smiles.

  And me? I had been so busy hiding my homelife from everyone that I was still learning how to open up. I always found myself believing that if I ignored a situation or didn’t divulge too much to anyone, everything would work itself out.

  Maybe it did work, but in theory, not in real life. Not if I ever wanted to live a meaningful, fulfilling one.

  Clay decided to remind us of his presence. “Joo,” he demanded moments before his cup hit his window.

  I jumped and tried to laugh at my skittishness.

  Joo was Clay’s way of asking for juice. It still baffled me the amount his vocabulary had grown in my absence.

  “How do you ask?” Golden gently admonished him.

  “Peas,” he crowed.

  I laughed once more before unbuckling my seatbelt to provide the little dictator with his beverage of choice.

  After I gave him his water/juice mixture, I slid back into my seat, feeling emotionally drained from the day’s events. I found my eyes growing heavy as I mulled over my next actions.

  “Get some rest.” Golden carefully reached in the back and handed me a throw blanket and pillow. “We can talk more later.”

  I hadn’t even realized one of the guys had stashed them back there. I sighed deeply at their thoughtfulness, then smiled sleepily over at Golden as I resituated myself so I could use the center console and pillow to rest my head. As I drifted off, I felt his fingers gently begin to stroke my head.