by SM Olivier
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“You guys own this house?” I inquired in disbelief as I stepped out onto the porch.
When the guys told me we were going to one of their rentals, I assumed it would be like the other one they owned in town. The house in town was a townhouse of sorts, with roughly four nine-hundred square-foot homes. They were modest and nowhere near as extravagant as this house.
The house sat on a secluded drive that sat on top of a mountain overlooking the town below. It was a beautiful, updated log cabin that was at least three-thousand square feet, with eight bedrooms and five bathrooms. It also boasted an indoor pool, theater room, recreation room, and two wrap-around porches on the main and top floors. The upper floor porch had a hot tub, which looked highly inviting, promising a stunning view of the beautiful valley beyond.
“It was one of Mam and Da’s investments,” Paxton confirmed with a nod. “You should have seen it before they renovated it.” He mock-shuddered. “Once they fixed it up, they decided to rent it out. The people that were supposed to rent it out this week chose to cancel their reservations. It doesn’t happen often. So… want to get changed in your swimsuit and meet me back at the hot tub?”
My initial instinct was to nod enthusiastically. However, it was quickly followed by the knowledge that it was still the broad light of day, and my scars would be out there for all to see.
“I should probably help with dinner,” I demurred.
“Lochlann and Golden have it covered,” Kyler said. “Lochlann’s putting on some steaks, and Golden just put in the baked potatoes and is whipping up a salad as we speak. You can wear a t-shirt if you want.” Kyler murmured the last part as he stepped up behind me, embracing me.
I visibly relaxed. Slightly. “Okay. Which room’s mine?” I inquired.
Logically I knew they had all seen my scars, and none of them treated me differently, but I had caught them looking at them. Not in disgust, more like anger and remorse. Like they could have controlled what I went through.
I was still highly conscious of them. So aware of them, I couldn’t even look in the mirror anymore. I knew I had to get over this and quickly. It was easy to hide with no make-up and loose clothing in the comfort of our home. However, dance and school resumed soon.
“I’ll show you,” Kyler volunteered. “We decided to give the Shadows their own rooms, so one or some of us will be sharing one of the masters with you.”
I vaguely remembered the masters on the main floor and the second story.
As soon as we had arrived, Paxton had taken my hand and immediately dragged me around the house once. Lochlann had gone to the kitchen to check the pantry and fridge. Apparently, they had a property manager that generally ensured the house cleaners kept it clean, maintained and oversaw the property, and stocked up on the basics. The married couple had gone above and beyond, stocking the pantry and fridge, knowing we were utilizing the cabin this weekend.
Golden and Zane had taken a sleeping Clay to the room he was sharing with Maisie. It had three sets of triple bunks currently, so a crib had to be set up. It was too early to put him down, so he would probably wake up later, but we knew better than to wake him up if he was in a deep sleep like he had been.
Crew had taken Maisie to the theater room and was setting it up for her. It was clear that they had all vacationed here at one point or another. Kyler admitted to getting the construction bug from Da. He informed me that Da had taken a teenaged Kyler and Lochlann up here on weekends to help with the cabin. The money they had been paid had been the initial motivation, but eventually, Kyler realized he enjoyed working with his hands and transforming things.
Da had volunteered to send him to a trade school, but his pride made him determined to make it on his own, so he had joined the military.
“It’s my turn,” Paxton nearly sulked at this new development in sleeping arrangements as he trailed behind us.
“We already drew straws,” Kyler said with a straight face, although I saw the mirth and mischief in his eyes.
“Drawing straws?” Paxton protested. “Our rotation shouldn’t change because we decided to go away for the weekend.”
The guys had come up with a sleeping schedule amongst themselves, unbeknownst to me. I didn’t question it, and it seemed to work for them. It worked for me, too, because when the darkness sought me in my dreams, their presence seemed to soothe me.
“It shouldn’t, but new place, new rotation,” Kyler says a bit smugly.
I knew Kyler was only riling up my “needy” boyfriend, Paxton, but I was somewhat powerless to stop him. The others often teased poor Paxton, and in the time that I had gotten to know them, I realized it was precisely what Paxton needed. I still didn’t know why—or who—gave my sensitive guy abandonment issues, but I realized if the guys always gave into Paxton’s insecurities, they’d only intensify.
Kyler looked over at me and winked, and I couldn’t stifle the laughter that bubbled up. Paxton’s crestfallen look dropped away as he realized Kyler had been teasing him.
“Douche,” Paxton muttered in an attempt to sound disgruntled, but he was unable to mask his delight that he wasn’t losing his turn to sleep with me.
We reached the room as Kyler busted out laughing. “Come on, Pax, you really need to stop trying to monopolize our girl to yourself all the time.”
It was somewhat true. The guys had to force Paxton to return to school, otherwise he would have stayed with me my entire convalescing time. I was excused, of course, but as understanding as Principal Fanning was with my situation, he hadn’t extended it to the guys. The teachers were a little more understanding and seemed to be giving them some allowances, and it helped that they never missed testing days.
“I don’t do that,” Paxton spluttered his disagreement.
“You really do,” Zane said with an easy grin as he came out of one of the rooms in just his swim trunks and a towel wrapped around his neck. “Now, let's get in the hot tub while Lochlann and Golden whip us up some dinner.”
I stopped dead in my tracks as I greedily soaked in his beautifully sculpted body. His dedication to football and teaching dance classes was in every hard-line, bulge, and dip of his physique. Suddenly I couldn’t wait to be on the dance floor with him once more.
I felt a thumb grace my lower lip, and I both yelped and flinched at the same time.
“Sorry,” Paxton looked sheepish as he dipped his head. “I was just wiping the drool from your mouth and I forgot.”
I sighed and leaned against him. “There’s nothing to be apologetic about,” I muttered as I leaned my forehead against his chest.
I took a deep fortifying breath and blew it back out. I needed to stop being such a basket case. Paxton was just trying to tease me, and I had flinched as if he would hit me. Years of abuse from Sean and my captivity was spilling over into the most unexpected places at the most random times.
“Have you called…” Zane began.
“No,” I cut in quickly.
Lochlann and Zane were especially concerned about my mental health. A day hadn’t gone by without one of them asking me if I had called the therapist Bryce had recommended. I knew they meant well, but the thought of re-opening up the wounds that still festered right below the surface terrified me. The idea of talking to a stranger about my experiences made me as excited as taking sandpaper to a cut.
I heard my name being yelled from the main floor.
“Peyton!”
I instantly recognized Lucas’s voice and silently thanked him for his timely interruption. He bounded up the stairs, and Kyler and Zane immediately seemed to take a protective stance in front of me.
I tapped their arms and sidled my way between them so I could hug my best friend. He may have betrayed me with Clementine at one point, but at least I never had to worry about him trying to steal one of my boyfriends.
He held me tight. I eventually had to squirm against him and forced out a light laugh. “Simmer down. You’re going to crush me to death.�
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He chuckled before he pulled back. “I’m sorry, but it’s your fault. You wouldn’t let me visit you, and I still worry about you.”
I felt bad for shutting him out, but we went through a brief awkward stage when I found out he’d had a crush on me. Mind you, it hadn’t seemed to surface until after I moved and he saw me with a real boyfriend, or, should I say, boyfriends. I casually dated in the past, but I never got serious with any of them. Lucas had been my number one guy since kindergarten, so it had been hard for him at first.
Since then, he became close to Renee, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they started dating eventually. I knew they texted each other frequently despite the distance between them. For now, I was certain they were flirting but leaving it at that.
“She’s been well cared for,” Paxton scoffed slightly. “Now, go get dressed so we can continue this reunion in the hot tub.”
It had taken a while for Paxton to warm up to Lucas. Now I think they both understood their places in my life. I just appreciated that they were making an effort.
“Sweet!” Lucas crowed.
“I’ll show you your room, Lucas,” Zane suggested, then looked at us. “You guys get dressed.”
I reluctantly turned towards my room. Might as well get this over with.
4
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Tough discussions
“Madison keeps calling.” Lucas sighed as he put his phone back on the ledge.
The moment we’d gotten done with dinner, we had put Maisie and Clay down for the night. Then most of us got dressed to get into the hot tub again. Lochlann and Crew opted for a game of spades with the Shadows, playing on the porch beside the hot tub.
Lochlann seemed to be in a constant state of alertness. He might’ve been affectionate with me in front of the Shadows, but he was still aware of how he treated me and what he did in front of people like Renee and Lucas.
“Welcome to the club,” I heard Golden mutter before leaning his head back onto the hot tub.
“I wish you would have told me that you weren’t talking to her.” Lucas sighed.
“I’m surprised she didn’t tell you.” I shrugged.
“She told me about getting on the team, and she had griped when her dad set a limit on her spending, but other than that…” He shrugged as well. “Now that she knows I’m with you, she’s upset I didn’t invite her along.”
“It wasn’t your place to invite anyone,” I scoffed, irritated by Madison’s audacity to assume she could invite herself anywhere, just as she had done by moving into my new hometown. “She knew how much the guys meant to me. I was taken. Abducted! I wasn’t even gone a month and she kissed Golden? In the past, I always looked the other way when she moved in on the guys I was interested in, but this was different, and she knew it.”
I was shaking, so upset with this conversation. I knew Lucas meant well, and, in this case, he was on my side. However, knowing him, he was going to try and “fix” us. And for once, I didn’t know if there was any way to fix us.
I felt Paxton and Zane move in close to me, and I appreciated their presence. Golden and I’d had a much-needed discussion, but I knew we were a work in progress. Honestly, I was hoping to relax this weekend and not think about Madison.
I had missed Lucas, though, and I was glad he’d respected my wishes when I requested him to let me… decompress and get my bearings. I knew it took a lot of willpower for him to have stayed away for as long as he had. He wasn’t known for his patience.
“I’m not giving her any excuses, and I don’t condone her behavior, but I think something happened to her.” Lucas frowned. “She was different after she came back from cheer camp last summer. I thought it was because you had left us, but then…” He blew a raspberry out of his pursed lips. “I don’t know. She began drinking a lot, started hooking up with a lot of guys—”
I scoffed. She always “lived in the moment.”
“A lot more than usual,” Lucas hurriedly clarified. “And it wasn’t just popular hot jocks. It was scum like Bud Riley and Swaggy.”
I grimaced. Both guys were reprehensible and low-lives. Bud Riley might have been a jock, sure, but he was a bully. The only way he made it to his senior year was because of his stepmom, who was an administrator for the school district, and by paying people to do his work/copying off of them.
Once, I’d had to do a project with him our sophomore year, and to this day I believed he couldn’t read. I didn’t know if it was out of pure laziness or cerebral insufficiency. He behaved as if he were owed everything, above putting any work into anything he did.
Glenn Sutherland, A.K.A Swaggy G, renamed himself our freshman year of high school after he fell in with a local gang. He thought he was hot shit, but in truth, he was nothing better than a lackey and drug pusher for a gang that wasn’t too bright. They used more of their merchandise than distributing it.
Madison would have never given them the time of day in the past. What made her lower her standards so much that she had been willing to talk to them, let alone sleep with them? I recalled Lucas informing me of their threesome, but I had thought it was a joke. Kind of. Sort of.
“We’ve been giving her excuses her whole life,” I stated a tad bitterly. “She’s thoughtful and generous when it comes to material things, but she’s always been selfish in other areas. She knew that Golden was one of my guys. She had a whole school of fresh meat, and she had to go after him?”
“Did you mislead her in any way?” Lucas turned to Golden with a suspicious glare. “There had to be a reason she thought you were receptive to the idea. Did you flirt with her?”
I could see Golden’s eyebrow twitch. He would have thrown out a sarcastic response in the past, but I knew he was much more careful with his words when I was around, nowadays.
“Paxton and Golden are natural flirts,” Renee said in an exasperated tone, joining the conversation. “They’re playful flirts, just like you.” She shot Lucas a look. “It’s not sexual or misleading. Well, maybe flirting is the wrong word. Maybe ‘over-the-top friendly.’”
That was very true of Golden and Paxton in the past. I had seen how “friendly” they were with females. They were attentive and great listeners, but they weren’t suggestive in their actions, like overly complimenting a female. They seemed to be able to balance the fine line of suggestive flirting and playful flirting.
Of course, my mind wanted to overanalyze this. I was so confident in who I was and my self-worth before I was taken. Now I wondered if Paxton and Golden’s playful, flirty, friendly behavior was something I should have condoned or had been okay with. If it hadn’t bothered me before, why was I allowing it to bother me now?
“Meredith left us some apple crumble and ice cream,” Kyler stood up. “Peyton, wanna help dish them out?”
Meredith was the property manager and family friend. Apparently, Da, Paxton, Kyler, and Lochlann had a weakness for her apple crumble. She had given us reheating instructions and had left the dessert in the refrigerator. Lochlann must have given her a heads up, because the pans she’d left behind were more than enough for all of us, including the Shadows.
I was thankful that Kyler realized this conversation was one I needed to walk away from. Lucas would try to fix Madison and me, and I had just decided to repair Golden and me. I wasn’t ready to even contemplate forgiving Madison at this point.
Lucas was relentless, and it was apparent he didn’t realize I wasn’t willing to participate in this discussion at the moment. I stood up, thankful for the interruption. I really didn’t need to find any more rabbit holes to tumble down.
“I’ll help,” Zane volunteered as he stood up as well.
I feigned a smile as I gingerly stepped onto the ledge of the hot tub. The water streaming down my legs was slightly annoying, but that was the price I paid for wearing a long sleeve t-shirt in the tub. I had vacillated with my decision for several moments but finally decided that I didn’t want my scars on display. Lucas had yet to see t
hem, and he would have been slightly dramatic if faced with them.
Kyler grabbed a towel and held it out in front of me. He wrapped it around my shoulders, and I leaned into him gratefully.
“Thanks,” I murmured.
Together, the three of us went back into the house and down the staircase into the large kitchen/dining/great room.
“Do you want me to grab a hoodie for you, maybe some sweats?” Zane inquired as he rubbed a towel through his hair.
I didn’t know why some actions were more fascinating to me than others, but watching him do the simple act of drying off was hot. My earlier dark thoughts were pushed aside as I realized how very distracting he was. I needed to get laid this weekend. I knew I was still fragile, but I wasn’t going to break.
I had no doubt I was ready for my physical relationships to resume in a life full of uncertainty.
“Pey?” Zane gently prodded.
“Mmm, yes, please.” I hid my warming face in the fridge as I retrieved the apple crumble.
“I’m setting the oven to three-fifty,” Kyler informed me.
He lightly touched my waist before sliding behind me and nuzzling his face in the crook of my neck. I think he was the most understanding with the PTSD I was struggling with. There were things both of us had trouble with; it was never good to sneak up behind us. The guys also realized that if I was “in my own world,” they should announce their presence before approaching me.
Sometimes they forgot, but I think being around Kyler helped them pick up some nonverbal clues. It also helped that Kyler wasn’t shy, telling our family how to approach us and handle us in certain situations.
I sighed before I leaned back into him. He was still slightly wet, but I didn’t mind. The security I felt in his arms gave me a feeling of bliss. I closed my eyes and just breathed in his scent. He had taken a shower before dinner, so his smell of manliness had been washed away, leaving behind the scent of just his body wash and cologne.