by SM Olivier
I had spent quite a few days recovering on the couch while the guys watched college football. Lochlann and Golden might not have played or desired to play football, but they got into it. Kyler, Crew, and Zane had it on every Saturday. I wasn’t terribly excited to watch it, but I enjoyed watching how the guys could get into it. The way they rooted for their teams made me believe they had a personal investment in it.
He chuckled softly, his eyes like warm melted chocolate as he looked at me and caressed my cheek. “I love how you learned the game just to relate to us. I like how you made yourself a part of our world. I can’t wait to share the stage with you today.”
I leaned into him once more and yawned. “I can’t wait either.”
“Sleep, beautiful,” he commanded softly. “You have a long day ahead of you.”
He rearranged me onto his lap and repositioned the covers over us. He was warm, comfortable, and soothing all at once. He lightly began to caress my side and hips. It tickled but relaxed me at the same time. I loved how he just got me.
It didn’t take me long to do as he said, and I drifted off to sleep with him holding me to the sounds of Harry Potter drifting in my ears.
●
My stomach was alight with butterflies when we stepped off the bus. There were people as far as I could see. The morning air was crisp, and once again, I could feel the undercurrent of excitement and nerves buzzing in the air.
“It never gets any easier,” Kayley muttered as she stopped beside me. “Does it ever?”
She looked over at me, and I understood completely. I knew she’d started competing at an early age, and it wasn’t until recently that they moved her up to the senior's division, so it was just another level of stress and pressure.
She had been talking to me more over the last few days in Renee's absence. I also knew she and Renee had hit it off on a friendship level. Her kindness and encouraging words had helped Renee come out of her shell more.
They both wanted the leads and loved the stage as much as I did, but instead of being threatened by each other, they bonded over it. It made me grow to like my younger cousin more.
“I won’t lie to you and say it does.” I gave her a rueful smile. “But I let it fuel me. I think the moment I feel overconfident, when the butterflies disappear, it means I have no business competing anymore. We should never be complacent and believe we deserve that first place. We should always be hungry for more.”
“Embrace the nerves,” Zane added. “Then leave it all on the stage.”
I grinned up at him as he placed an arm around my shoulders.
Kayley threw him a grateful grin as well and nodded as if she was just soaking in his words and trying to embrace it.
“Let’s go, team!” Alex said excitedly.
She had a Monster in one hand and a coffee cup in the other, and I swear I could see her vibrating with energy and excitement. I stifled a laugh as I realized she was tweaking high off of caffeine.
“Someone should make her cut back on the caffeine,” Kayley joked as we made our way to the entrance.
She fell in step on the other side of me, and we made our way towards the doors. I noticed people stopping and staring as we approached them, and I kept my eyes trained ahead. I had made my stamp on this world long ago. I recognized past competitors and school teams. However, I knew it wasn’t just my dancing that had people staring at me.
“She’s going to crash hard once she gets off the high,” I joked, attempting to ignore the whispers and people pulling out their phones.
I looked over my shoulder and noticed Sal and Des. They were both super vigilant, and I nearly sighed in relief. I knew they wouldn’t let anyone approach me. I needed to focus on my solo, duet, and group number. I needed to shut out all the outside distractions.
“You passed Bailey up for another solo again?” I heard a woman screech.
Kayley sighed heavily. “Fork me.”
I looked around and saw Kayley and Bailey’s mom, Diane, glaring at Anya. She was a tall, beautiful woman with hazel-green eyes, long auburn hair, and didn’t look like she could be a mother of three, with her oldest being eighteen. Too bad she was a bitch.
I knew she hadn’t been on the bus. In fact, because of the drama she had been bringing to the studio over her ex-husband, she had been pointedly asked not to hang around or chaperone any of our competitions. She had attempted taking her ex-husband back to court to get higher child support because of her job loss, but the judge hadn’t ruled in her favor. In addition, Kayley had permanently moved in with her father.
The judge had allowed Kayley to have a say with where she wanted to live, and she chose her father. Their younger sister was still splitting her time with her father and mother equally. And Bailey’s decision to stay with her mother hadn’t changed the child support she hoped to receive.
“Bailey is not ready for a solo,” Anya said staidly.
“And she is?” Diane pointed in my direction. “She’s out of shape. She takes way too many breaks. As a medical professional, I don’t even think she should be competing at all.”
Bailey looked at me smugly as she crossed her arms over her chest. I assumed she hadn’t been asleep when Alex and Anya had approached me. It had taken her no time at all to go whining to Mommy dearest.
I rolled my eyes.
“You were a nurse,” Starr huffed. “Were. You got fired, remember? Now, can you kindly leave? These kids need to focus, and they need to clear their minds.”
“I pay good money for my girls to dance,” Diane seethed. “Last year Bailey had a lot of solos and the leads. She’s only improved since then. I demand that she has that solo today.”
“You forget whose school this is,” Anya sneered, clearly embarrassed by Diane’s behavior. “You’re right. She has improved. Bailey,” she looked over at Bailey, who was smiling and preening. “Consider yourself on probation.”
“What?” Bailey’s mouth dropped open in surprise. “What did I do?”
“What?” Diane screeched. “On what grounds are you putting my daughter on probation?”
“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” Anya sniffed before turning towards the entrance once more, “You signed a contract. Your daughter signed a contract. Her running back to her mother because she’s throwing a tantrum over a solo she didn’t deserve proves she doesn’t want to be a part of a team. There’s a reason it’s called a competition team. She doesn’t understand the meaning of team.”
She stalked off, and as a group, we followed. I shook my head. Never a dull day in my life, that was for sure.
21
●
Slipping Away
The nerves were getting to me. This would be my first competition since my return. The whispers, gawking, and phones had been pointed towards me since we signed in and got our dance numbers. It had been too unnerving, so I stayed in our dressing room until Zane and I were up for our duet.
Honestly, it hadn’t been too bad hiding away. I had helped Alex get the minis and juniors ready. The minis had been immensely entertaining, and they were the least curious or invasive with my privacy. They all acted so normal around me, and I felt normal because of it.
I really wanted to see Kayley do her solo, but she had been more than understanding with my hiding away. In fact, when she hadn’t been out on stage, she and Zane had kept me company. I had received several texts from the others that they were here, cheering me on, but I hadn’t ventured out to see them either.
“Ready?” Zane asked me, squeezing my hands in reassurance.
I nodded and tried to smile up at him. He looked so hot in his white button-down shirt and fitted black slacks. His hair was carefully styled. Sometimes I was struck by how fortunate I was to have not one but six highly attractive men attracted to me. This was one of those moments.
He reached over and brushed a strand of my hair off my face. It was down once more with a silver braided circlet firmly secured in my loose curls. I could feel the ner
ves emanating off him as he ran his hands up and down my waist. His hands were a contrast against the black of my costume.
My costume was liberally laced with sequins in the bodice. Like my other costumes, it had long sleeves. This one had a key-hole neckline and cut-outs on my shoulders. The skirt flared slightly around my upper thighs. It was classically beautiful.
“How are you?” I inquired in return.
I could see the indecision in his eyes. He hadn’t danced in a competition in years. His father had really done a number on his psyche, and this would be the first time he’d be on the stage since he gave it up.
“We have each other,” I murmured, grabbing his face.
I brushed my lips against his jawline and felt the slight tremor in his body. He was just as petrified to grace the stage once more as I was. The only difference was dance was my passion. Dance was a part of me. He was doing this all for me. What a giant leap he was making just for me, and the thought got me out of my head and made my heart leap in my chest at the reminder.
“We have each other,” he repeated as he pulled my hips into his and gently brushed his lips against mine.
I got lost in his gentle caresses and his passionate kiss. Everything seemed to fade away as he pulled me under his spell. All my worries, fears, and doubts slipped away.
“You guys?” Kayley hissed with a laugh as she pointed to the stage.
We looked at each other and laughed as we realized our dance number had already been announced, and the intro to lovely by Billie Eilish and Khalid began. We glided onto the stage, and with Zane beside me, it was easy to forget that the venue was packed.
For the first time ever, I didn’t scan the audience or pay attention to the judges’ expressions. I got lost in our movements. I felt all of Zane's touches acutely. Our eyes were locked onto each other every time we were facing each other.
When it came time for our very technical, challenging lift, I didn’t think about my recovering body or how I wasn’t quite “back” yet. I was able to shut it all out and just trust Zane, remaining calm though-out.
When I leaped into his arms, I didn’t try to stop the natural momentum. He tossed me up into a turn so effortlessly. He extended his arms above his head, bracing my waist securely. He effortlessly held me, and I looked down into his eyes. My eyes widened, trying to convey my joy.
He didn’t smile with his lips when I gripped his shoulders, but I saw the smile and pride in his eyes as he looked up at me. He gently squeezed my waist, and I wished I could whoop with delight. I hadn’t landed this lift on the first try since my return.
I extended my leg into a perfect split as Zane steadied me with one arm and spun me. When it was time to dismount, his hands seemed to be more intimate, and unlike practice, he even trailed his lips down my neck to my shoulders before he spun me back out.
We separated and did our turns before he returned to me and embraced me from behind. Our bodies swayed together, and as the finishing notes resonated from the speakers, he braced my lower back and lowered me into a near backbend. He curved his body around mine, then lowered his head to my chest, staring across the auditorium. I dug my hands into his hair, cradled the back of his head, and kissed the top of his head.
The lights dimmed, and it was silent for a few beats. I could feel Zane’s rapid heartbeat against my stomach. I could see the rise and fall of his chest. I could hear the small puffs of air he expelled, trying to catch his breath. I knew I was just as winded. We had given it our all and then some.
Regardless of the outcome, I knew we couldn’t have performed any better. Zane had added an intimacy into the dance we hadn’t practiced, and I had connected with him on a level I knew very few partners ever achieved.
The clapping, whistles, and cheers were nearly deafening after a few seconds of silence. Zane lifted me back up, and we grinned at each other, breaking character. We were no longer struggling lovers. We were just us. He took my hand and pulled me in close. He brushed a kiss against my cheek down to the corner of my lips before he led me towards the front of the stage. We took our bows and then turned to exit the stage.
I had expected to see Anya and Starr on our return from the stage. I hadn’t expected to find them both crying. Anya moved forward, and in turn, took our cheeks in her hands, kissing them soundly.
“Beautiful, so beautiful,” she finally murmured.
“Mama,” Zane said with a mixture of concern and teasing before pulling her into an embrace.
“You guys lit the stage on fire,” Starr enthused as she brushed her tears away. “The chemistry between you two is unlike anything I have ever seen, and I’ve been in this world for over thirty years. You guys were amazing during practice, but that… that was something else entirely! You took it to a whole new level.”
My eyes smarted with my own tears. It was such a surreal feeling when I evoked such a strong reaction in people simply from dancing. It was just another reminder of why I was so passionate about it. I wanted to portray a story with music and movement, hoping to draw people into it. For those few minutes, I wanted everything else to fade away and provide them an escape.
“The next competition is in two weeks,” Anya seemed to pull herself together. “What are you doing next?”
Zane and I looked at each other and laughed. I think we both anticipated her demand. She made it no secret that she missed seeing Zane dance, and we kind of suspected that she wouldn’t be satisfied with just one performance.
“We’ll work on it, Mama,” Zane promised her with a kiss on the cheek.
He smirked at me before capturing my hand once more. I could see the confidence and pleasure he felt. He might have lost his joy in dance, but he had found it once more with me.
“Yes!” Anya and Starr enthused.
“Now, go get changed and ready for your next routine, Peyton.” Starr smiled, embracing Zane and me together.
We laughed and turned toward the dressing room.
“I love you,” I whispered in his ear as we walked away.
“I love you more,” he murmured in return.
My eyes automatically drifted closed as he brushed a sweet kiss on my temple. This was another moment in my life I wished I could stuff in a box and pull out whenever I wanted to remember a monumental moment. The joy and love I was feeling dashed all the darkness that had been clinging to the edges of my consciousness since my return.
“That was so beautiful, guys,” Kayley enthused, wiping her eyes of tears.
She was already dressed in the costume for our group number, and I felt no envy or jealousy. She was taking the lead since Renee couldn’t be here today. She deserved it, and I knew she was going to rock it. Unlike her sister, she worked and worked to be a better dancer than she was yesterday, the day before, and so on.
“Not you, too!” I teased her as I accepted her embrace.
“Let’s get dressed.” She looped her arm through mine, and we began to walk towards the dressing room.
Zane took my other side, and I was thankful for their presence as more dancers, choreographers, and instructors milled around us. The civic center was much larger than most of the venues we’d competed at. Therefore, more people were allowed to be backstage. They still kept control of it so it didn’t become out of hand, though.
There were some competitions I had attended where only the performer and the next performer were allowed backstage at once. Sometimes we had to stand in line waiting in a hall until the event coordinator would let us know we were next.
“Stand by, beautiful.” Zane smirked. “We have a little while yet before your group number, and the guys are threatening castration if I don’t swing you out towards them.”
I looked over my shoulder and saw that Sal and Desmond weren’t too far behind. They had become so good at blending in; I’d forgotten about their constant presence.
I raised an eyebrow at Zane. “Maybe Paxton or Golden, but I doubt the others are as adamant.”
He chuckled and nodded.
“Paxton’s threatening to hunt us down unless I bring you out.”
I laughed and followed his lead to a side door and out into a small, obscure lobby, where I noticed only a handful of people roamed around. A set of double doors opened on the opposite of the hall, and my smile grew wide when my family poured in.
I was overcome with emotions when I realized they came bearing gifts again. I couldn’t contain the giggle that escaped my lips when Paxton and Golden thrust a bouquet of beef jerky and a basket of candy towards Zane. Zane's head tilted back with a loud guffaw as he realized that they had given him unique bouquets in lieu of flowers.
I reached over and yanked a Kit-Kat bar from his candy basket, grinning smugly at him.
“You guys don’t have to come with flowers every time,” I protested as Maisie, Hope, Joy, Faith, and the twins came forward with a large bouquet of lilies.
I leaned down and bestowed kisses on each of their cheeks. “Thank you, guys.” I smiled at them.
Even the reminder of why they were in our lives couldn’t tamper the euphoric high I was riding.
The kids were doing so well. Surprisingly enough, Maisie was delighted with being homeschooled. As predicted, she and Faith were nearly inseparable. The children had adapted to the new situation rather effortlessly.
“You were so beautiful,” Joy said, looking starstruck. “Grandpa said we could start dance on Monday. Can you teach us?”
I looked at Grandpa, and he shrugged and grinned. “I think it’s time they began transitioning to more normalcy,” he explained.
I smiled down at Joy. “I don’t really teach classes, but maybe I can help you out now and then?”
She seemed satisfied with my explanation as I stood to my full height. Kyler sauntered forward, and I knew from his expression that he was full of mischief. My belly quivered remembering the other side of him that I got to see last night. I could still feel the residual effects of our activities.