by Amber Nicole
ASH: Meet me under the bleachers. I need my good luck kisses.
I rush out to meet him so we’re not late and almost run into the Bitches. “Watch where you're going Pig.” Oh yeah forgot about my new little nickname they are so clever aren't they? I move out of the way to let them exit first while rolling my eyes and flip them off behind their backs for good measure. Behind me Hope is trying to contain her giggles. “Careful Gracie you don’t want Queen Bitch to catch you,” she tells me with a wink then rushes after them. I follow a little slower then sneak under the bleachers to a very handsy Ash. “You really need to wear this uniform home, preferably without panties,” he tells me between kisses and gropes of my butt. “Ash … we … need … to go … stop babe.” I push him back and give him a stern look. He gives me one more kiss then smacks my butt and says, “You’re adorable babe, but that ass is mine later.” Giving me a wink he sneaks back into the gym. I bite my lip and think on that for a minute. Ash and I haven’t been intimate again since that one night. I didn’t want to rush things. Don’t get me wrong we still share a bed every night, and there is the occasional steamy make out and groping session, but if I don’t pull back he will. Maybe tonight we can change that. Depends on how this party plays out.
“I am so done with cheerleading,” I tell Ash later in his car. “They seriously made that rhyme into a cheer for halftime? Who does that? I mean I get that it's silly, and catchy, but it’s so, so cruel. If I didn’t need the extra curriculars I would quit.”
Ash grabs my hand. “I know what Bianca did tonight was awful and trust me she will pay. Do you still want to go to Dom’s party? It’s just his family and a few friends. I promise the Bitches won’t be there.”
“Yes Ash. I’m fine with the party. Just venting. Okay I’m good now.”
About five minutes later we arrive at Dom’s house. Wow they really love the holidays—the whole front, including the driveway is lit up with lights. Getting out, Ash comes around and opens my door before pulling me up into a tight hug and a passionate kiss. “Everything will be okay. Let me worry about Bianca.”
Walking in the front door I’m first assaulted by Dom lifting me from the floor in a huge bear hug. “You okay Bambi? What those girls did was so wrong. Ash and I will make them pay.”
“Brother, can I have my girl back now?” Ash says, chuckling. Dom reluctantly puts my feet back on the floor before turning towards Ash and doing that weird bro hug thing. “It’s not right Ash the way the girls are treating our Gracie.”
“I know we can get the boys involved too, let’s wait till after the holidays though.”
Dom nods then Ash takes my hand and leads me farther than the entryway. The room is chaos but I manage to spot Hope over by the food waving at me. I head over to her and she hands me an empty plate. There’s so much food.
“This is what was worth getting all dolled up and coming here for,” I say out loud to her.
“I know especially after that nasty prank tonight. I’m totally okay with us stealing a bottle of champagne and this whole chocolate cake and hiding somewhere with just the guys. How are you holding up?”
“Honestly I’m just over it all. I think I’m going to see about dropping cheer. Figures huh, since I’m now not so bad at the routines. Just the other girls are horrid. I don’t know. I think I’ll finish the season, but I’m not doing spring cheer. They can kiss my ass.” Ash’s arms come around me and he kisses my head. “It’s a party let’s not worry about that tonight okay?”
I nod relaxing into his chest. He’s right we can worry about that later.
Spending a few hours with Dom’s family was just what I needed. The love and togetherness that surrounded them made me miss my family. Since leaving that day I haven't heard a peep from them.
When we get home Ash pulls me into a hug. “How about I start a fire, and we watch one of those holiday movies you love?”
“Yes, that sounds perfect.” I run downstairs, throw one of his shirts on and a pair of yoga pants before curling up on the couch in Ash’s arms. When the first movie ends I decide it's time.
“Ash, I think it’s time we talked about Mia. Things have been great this past month and I’m excited to spend our first Christmas alone together but I can’t keep all these thoughts and questions quiet anymore. I’m sorry I really am, but I think it’s time I saw that note.” Not wanting to look him in the eye I keep staring at the floor playing with my fingers.
“Hey Gracie, look at me. I’ve been waiting for you to say something. You're right, this past month has been incredible but I agree. If you are ready to talk about that night, then I think we should.”
I nod my head yes, and he pulls me up from the couch we were snuggled on. I follow him down to his room. We skip the bedroom and go to his little game room area. Usually we watch movies down here but I wanted the fireplace lit. It's more seasonal so he had a roaring fire going in the upstairs den. Letting my hand go, he walks over to the closet and pulls a worn shoebox down from the top shelf bringing it over to the couch. Sitting down I follow suit. His hands are shaking as he sets the box on his lap.
“I still don’t know what to think, or say about this Gracie, but this note destroyed me. It took two months for Dom’s dad to release it to me since it was evidence. You say you would never try and commit suicide, and I believe you. But I think I was just dealing with so much grief over losing Mia, and you, and then learning about our baby. I know it wasn’t our baby, but at the time I thought it was and I think I just didn't want to think about the person you truly were, if I did I would have questioned things more. I never would have abandoned you. I know I still have so much to make up for and I will for the rest of my life, but, but I love you Gracie. Opening this box I don't want things to change okay? Promise me we can get through whatever this box reveals, and hopefully move past it. I’m ready Gracie, I just want to put this behind us okay?”
“Okay Ash, I’m sorry to bring this all up but I need to know okay? Then we will bury this box or burn it okay? I love you too.” Resting my forehead on his, I grab the lid to the box. Slowly, I remove it, giving him time to stop me. Looking down into the box I see a crumpled up paper, the ultrasound print out, and a ton of pictures of the two of us from the past. I glance at him in question. He just shrugs his shoulders. “Seeing us together was too painful but I couldn’t destroy them like everyone told me to.”
I can understand that. Taking the paper from the box I see it's a vague, typed letter to Ash from supposedly me. Right away I know this is fake.
25
Ashton
Watching her read that note with so much confusion on her face doesn't help me any. Am I selfish to hope that maybe seeing the note would trigger a memory from that night? I was being honest when I told her that I wanted to put the past behind us, but I still want to know what truly happened. I don’t think we ever will at this point.
“Ash,” she says in a voice so broken. “I would never have written this. It’s so bland, so impersonal, not me. Who would leave you this note claiming it was from me? This doesn’t make any sense.”
I look deep into her eyes and see the truth shining back at me. Grabbing her and pulling her on top of my lap I throw the box on the floor and dominate her mouth. Following the signs of her body and how she melts into me I rip her top off over her head groaning at the sight of her perfect body. I love that she insists on wearing my shirts but seeing her bare is so much better. I kiss down her neck to her collarbone. She grips my hair hard and brings my mouth back to hers while slowly rocking on my lap. If she keeps that up I won’t last long. Does she know how hard it is sleeping cuddled up to her every night and not go farther than a steamy make out session? Pulling my mouth from hers, I groan and throw her on the couch beside me. “What’s wrong?” she asks, breathless. I run my hand over my face sighing. “We need to stop Gracie. If you don’t want this to end up with you under me for hours we need to cool down.”
She bites her lip and gives me a lust heate
d look. “Who says you won’t be the one under me?” Damn this girl is going to be my undoing. I grab her hand and practically drag her to our room with her giggling behind me all the way. Spinning her in front of me I grab her and toss her onto the bed. I lean over her, not touching, and run my hand from her naked collarbone to the edge of her yoga pants.
“Ash,” she groans with impatience, wiggling her hips. I know how you feel doll, but if we don’t take this slow it won't last long. Bending down, I trail my tongue from her neck to her ear, and gently biting her lobe I whisper, “Patience, I want to savor you.” She shakes under me and I bring my mouth back to her lips, kissing her gently. I move my hand slowly down her front again, but this time I don’t stop. Grabbing her pants I slide them down her legs letting them drop to the floor. I pull back from her lips and take a moment to remember this view. Lying under me with her hair a mess and her face all flushed she looks like my dream come true. “Damn Gracie, I swear you get more beautiful every day.”
She loses her patience with me and pushes me off her, throws me on the bed and kisses me hard. Fuck, this girl. Before I can come to my senses she's already removed my pants and climbed on top of me taking control. This right here is heaven.
Gracie
I give Ash one more kiss then pull back and look at him. “I love you Ash,” I whisper,
“I love you too Gracie. I don’t think I ever stopped.”
I give him a smile, roll to the side and pull him from the bed.
“Shower time, then sleep. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I want to bake some goodies for the children at the home in town, and some extras for the Christmas Cookie Drive at church.”
“Okay, but only if you make me your famous cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning like you used to.”
I roll my eyes and pull him towards his ensuite, agreeing. He tries to pull me in with him, but I know if I end up in that shower then we won’t be getting any sleep. Giving him a quick kiss I push him inside then shut his door.
“Not fair Gracie. We should preserve water. It’s better for the environment you know!” he shouts from inside the bathroom. Laughing quietly at his antics I walk out of his room and use the guest room shower. Once I’m all washed and clean I throw a pair of boy shorts on, and the T-shirt he wore today before the party. It smells like him, and it fits me like a dress. Climbing in bed I roll on my side and wait for him to join me. I must have drifted off because he wakes me up with a passionate good night kiss, then rolls over and cuddles me from behind. “Goodnight Gracie.” he whispers into my neck before his breathing deepens in his sleep. I close my eyes again and drift off to dreams of a possible future. Being Ash’s wife, chasing after our kids, making cookies for Santa as a family. A dream I hope comes true someday.
Holidays come and pass in a whirlwind of cuddles by the fire, baking goodies, and playing video games. I don’t want to leave but I know it’s time for me to return home. More memories are starting to return, and I’m starting to miss my family, even if they were planning to ship me off to a mental clinic. Plus I think I need some space from Ash. I love the time we've been spending together but I haven't been feeling well and I don't want him to get sick. He has a lot going on this month.
The first few weeks back home went okay. My mom is acting strange, and dad seems stressed but they're not being overbearing like they have been this past year. So I’ll take it. I'm still feeling under the weather though. This nausea won't go away. I think it's time I went to see my doctor. I grab my phone, find his office number and hit dial then wait for someone to answer.
“Hello. Dr. Lawry’s office, how may I help you today?”
“Yes, hi this is Gracelyn Rose. I was hoping to get an appointment scheduled for as soon as possible. I haven’t been feeling well. I've been having bouts of nausea and dizziness. I’m not sure if it’s a side effect from my injury or a bug going around but I’d like to get it figured out.”
“Okay let me see when his next available appointment is. It looks like I can squeeze you in around four pm Friday? Does that work for you? If not I’m sad to say he's booked solid till the end of January.”
“We have a game Friday at five-thirty pm How long do you think the appointment will be?”
“I can’t say for sure. I know he will want to run some tests but since it's a weekend, and game night, he’ll try to get done as fast as possible. So shall I write you down?”
“Yes thank you, I’ll figure something out. See you then.” I end the call. My heart is racing and I feel really hot. Shoot I hope I don’t throw up again. I really hope it’s just some bug and nothing more serious.
The week flies by in a haze of midterms, and bullying from the Bitches, before I know it Friday has arrived and I have my appointment after school. Sneaking out after school to go to my appointment proves harder than I expected. Ash grabs me as I walk down the corridor and pulls me into an alcove.
“Gracie, where are you going? I thought we would grab some food before the game?”
“Can’t today, I have a check-up. I'll see you at the game okay? Maybe we can get together after?” I say quickly then give him a kiss and rush out into the cool winter afternoon.
Thankfully the doctor’s office is only about a five minute walk from the school. There's a pretty redhead behind the desk and I smile and go to check in.
“You don’t need to sign in sweets, you're the only one on the schedule. I know you’re in a hurry to get to the game so head on back. He’s waiting for you.” I walk to the exam room and put my bag and coat on the chair then take a seat on the table. I’m so used to this now I don’t even need to be told the routines. Since my accident there’s been constant monitoring, doctor appointments, physical therapy, counseling sessions—it's just been so stifling. Not to mention the hovering. But I really couldn’t put it off any longer.
“So you say you’ve been having dizzy spells, and nausea?” Dr. Lawry asks while filling out a questionnaire.
“Yes, for about two months now I’ve had dizzy spells, and the nausea comes and goes.”
“Okay, well we're going to draw some blood, and run a couple tests then I’ll contact you with the results. If you don’t hear back right away then it’s nothing urgent. I do have to ask though, is there any possibility you could be pregnant?”
I start to panic. I look at him. “That didn’t even cross my mind. My boyfriend and I have only been intimate a few times so I mean it’s possible but I don’t think I am.”
“Okay no reason to worry, take a couple deep breaths Gracie. It’s probably just a side effect from your TBI, but we will throw an HCG blood test in with the others just to be safe. So sit back and relax. I'm going to step out while Sherry draws some blood then I’ll be back.” He stands and gently pats my knee. Not long after Sherry rushes in and takes some blood. “All set Dr. Lawry will be back in a few minutes then we will get you out of here. I know today’s the big game. I’m hoping to make it in time as well. My nephew Carter is a point guard for the Lions.”
I give her a shaky smile as she leaves. I can’t be pregnant can I? Ash and I have only been together once recently and then that night a few months ago but I couldn’t possibly be that far along. No it has to be something else. I’m not going to worry about this until the results come back. The doctor comes back into the room and finishes my exam, while running through a few other tests I’ve had done many times since my injury, then sends me on my way.
I rush back to the school and make it just in time for warm-ups. Whew that was close. Feeling eyes watching me I look up to a beaming Ash. He throws me a wink then runs off for his own warm-ups. No good luck kisses tonight, sorry babe I have way too much on my mind. The girls snicker behind me when I bend low for our stretches. This gets old. I’m so over the highschool drama.
“Gracie, you're in the front tonight. Make us proud.”
Ugh Now I feel like I’m going to be sick for a different reason.
“What! No that pig is not taking my spot Coach. She do
esn't even know the routines. Plus she’s always messing up,” Bianca screams chasing after the coach. Whatever, I really don't even want to be here tonight. I only came to cheer Ash on. When they return to the gym Bianca has a victorious smile on her face, and the coach is super pale.
“Gracie, I’m sorry I misspoke. Just stay in your normal position.” She gives me a pleading look. I just nod in confirmation. It’s really not that big of a deal anyway.
The game flies by, and soon they are all celebrating and congratulating the team. I’m ready to just go home. I was supposed to go with Ash tonight but I think I’m just gonna go back to my house. I haven’t been home much lately but tonight I just need my own space. I catch Ash’s eye, blow him a kiss and wave, then run out of the gym and start the walk home. I don’t want to give him the chance to change my mind.
Walking through the front door I see no one is here. Perfect, I head into the kitchen and grab a thing of ice cream with a spoon before going up to my room. I enter my ensuite then fill up the huge jacuzzi tub with a bath bomb and bubbles and slowly lower into the relaxing water while finishing my treat. I set the empty container on the floor, lie back, and rest my eyes. It's not long till I drift off.