THE TOOLSHED
Page 7
“Kilkanuks cannot enter this place. I found a way to deceive Kilkanuks and their machine. The machine chooses which body the arriving Kilkanuk will take in your world, but in my world Kryptil, I do that. The machine chose me as the leader of Kilkanuks in my world, but I never wanted Kilkanuks to live, whether good or bad. I rule Kryptil now and I am preparing to win Arlakaya. There are always people like you in every world possessing a gift of the unknown power. They become the pawns of the never ending war between good and evil Kilkanuks. You are lucky that I found you and brought you to this place which I built for the ones like you.”
“What follows is a transcript of a message I sent to Shrusim long before I built this place, before I was chosen as the leader of Kilkanuks, during the time when the truth was hidden from me and I was a slave. At that time it was stopped by the evil Kilkanuks from reaching Shrusim. It is known as the Diary of Devil.”
Light of Stone Goddess
You push me
But keep from falling
Some of them try to enslave me
Some deem me worthless
Fool of all fools think
I have no address
My devotees ineffable
Rebels think I am dead
I don't know when I am happy
I know when I am sad
Fear of death calling
Snowing ashes over my salt
My powers depart
As soon as I finish your test
All the good I do you take the credit
You take the credit of my bad deeds too
So it depends on me
As good or as devilish I show you
While I tarried in the mountains
Tsunami swept away the sea strand
They hate me in the fundamental world
Why love me in others I can't understand
Why they train themselves against pain
Sacrificing their blood to their goddess
***
Shrusim, they have something which you don't have and you possess something which they don't. They are surprised you found such a thing we call Ghostword before dying, they do not know it and want to learn from you. You are alone they are many. They will change your history every day. When I wanted to save them they were dying and now when I want to kill them they would not die. When I do not respond to your signs don’t fear that I forgot you, sometimes they are controlling me. Remember I’ll torment you until I find you. Trust that never to trust me. Life ends where it began and begins where it ended.
In the beginning you thought me as your enemy as I stopped you from reaching the Ghostword but when you found it you realized I was your secret helper and I was stopping you because only dead can use the Ghostword and now like me you too have become an alive dead. You will suffer for them, you'll think this time it was enough and sufferings would be over now but for them it will never be enough. We will suffer till we die but then we will be together. When you hated me I was in love with you and when you fell in love with me I started hating you. Either what I am you were before and what you are I will be one day or what I was you are today and you will be one day what I am. But we both were same before the Ghostword came.
There is one fundamental world and there are many other worlds where we tread sometimes aware, sometimes unaware. Either all the worlds are based on the Ghostword except fundamental world or there is no fundamental world and when we'll die the dead will rise. If we leave we’ll arrive if we come we’ll go.
Whenever I create something new I enter a different world and I stay in that world till I create something else. I am just a secret audience in your world. In your world, the world in which I gave you Diary of Devil, you are my secret audience. In your world I am just another kid on the block. I know I am squared till eternity in this circle. In my dreams I heard someone call it the Toolshed and that I need to find something called Ghostword, then I’ll be allowed to leave.
Do you believe me? Do not believe anyone. New stars have joined the constellation.
***
The magic keeps instilling itself in my blood; I need to keep control over my senses because if I let my magic lose, there are chances that I will go insane, as it has happened many times before. I cannot teach this magic to anyone but can only entertain us. I do not know who am I speaking to in my mind, I call him Rakhtavar. Atmi speak in my mind in different reverberating voices, Rakhtavar is a deceiver, liar and cold hearted. I wait for the voice of god and my master. First time when my master spoke to me her first words were you are the hero of every story, once she sang a song to me. I am grateful to the masses, they have knowingly (some unknowingly) gave me food and shelter. I think those for whom the bell tolls dedicated their life to plan mine, they came in my life disguised as my enemies, but I could not become like them. I keep asking God to forgive them but I will not.
I am thinking what the unknown wants from me. There may be no magic everything a planned conspiracy but its only one possibility out of many possibilities. If it turns out to be the one truth then I believe I am nothing and everyone else is machine (because of their unending patience and wisdom).
***
You think there is only me and you but you don’t know there is someone known as Atmi. One of us loves you, one hates you but both of us want you dead. We both use magic, it gives us power over you; your power is that you have no magic. When you wake up Atmi stalks you but you cannot sense her but she keeps an eye on your every single move in each and every moment of your life. If she is happy with you she gives you gifts but if she does not like you she gives you pain. And when you go to sleep she directs your dreams and when you wake up she forgets everything about you but she does not stop stalking you, and will do the same thing what she did before you woke up i.e., when she likes your thoughts and actions she will make you happy and if she does not like anything about you she will make your life miserable. You will only get what you deserve. If you become her favourite potential don’t worry she will know your life history and will set your future.
I have always dreamed that I am a bronze statue of a deity resting and rusting inside a temple and Atmi is sitting in a corner watching me, so silent and so graceful and so serene and very beautiful. All the sentient entities surrounding me are my devotees.
I think sometimes, love has been spent over me, will I be worth it. I think sometimes life is the only reason that we are apart or the wall that lies between me and you. I can’t die voluntarily because I have realized that I didn’t come in this world by my will so I cannot leave when I want to.
My first revelation occurred when once I was waiting for Atmi. I have stayed in highly intoxicating cells, been buried in innumerable versions of such hells. I keep forgetting about that time when I sat on the horse next to her golden chariot.
Don’t assume Atmi is wandering somewhere, looking for you and never try to trace her footsteps. You should never think that they want you to narrate the reflections of the great players of this game. When I was searching for signs in the Silent Forest of Dreams, a miracle occurred that gave me true hope without which I would not have come this far. When I was singing songs of the great players of the game about the game, suddenly I heard very beautiful voice like of which I had never heard before, it was mine.
***
A time will come when the one whom you have chosen, will know where every single atom of yours has been. Atmi sets the rules for you
r game. You will not be told these rules until you win your game but if you break them, she will punish you or teach you a lesson. Before you will start playing the game all of us here play, many great players of the game will tell you, about everything that they know about the rules, regulations and limitations which we have to follow in the game of life which all of us play. Listen carefully and patiently to all of the great players of the game of life. When they are all done informing you about the rules, regulations and limitations of the game, you will get confused because whatever they will teach you about the rules, regulations and limitations of the game, each one of them will be vainglorious and their rules, regulations and limitations of the game of life that all of us play will differ entirely from one another in practice, you will have as much time as you want but remember that each one of the great players, will try to provoke you and attract you, but keep your calm and acquire an understanding of each one of them in your heart, soul and mind, then prepare a judgment and do typical analysis of each one of them. After this, choose one great player out of all the great players, mark my words choose the one who you consider best among them (whatever may be the reason for your choice.) Now try to recall the rules, regulations and limitations of the game of life, this great player chosen by you told you earlier, and then completely erase everything else related to what the other great players told you from your heart, soul and mind. Take your time and then when you think you are ready, go to this great player of your choice and bow before him as you bow before your god and politely ask him to explain his version of the rules, regulations and limitations of the game of life again and keep receiving from him till he has nothing left to give you and then do whatever he or she asks from you in return. He may ask you to give to him your most precious possession, do his bidding. You will not lose in the end what you have given.
Once you start playing the game remember this that you won’t get a single chance to meet those great players of the game of life again until you finish the game of life you are playing. There will be only you and you alone save the other player you are playing against in the game and remember this that when you will feel helpless, hurt or broken while playing the game and will yearn for the great player whom you chose before you started playing the game, to come to your aid and tell you his version of the rules, regulations and limitations of the game again, many decoys will come to offer you help one by one at the time of your greatest need. Each one of them will appear as the one greatest player whom you chose before you started playing the game. These decoys will show you solid and sound proof that they are really the one greatest player of the game of life whom you chose before you started playing the game. Do not believe them just ignore them. These decoys may come before you are playing your turn in the game or after you have played your turn in the game and even when you are taking your legal break and even when you are waiting for the other player to play his turn in the game. They will come whenever you will have difficulty in remembering the version of the rules, regulations and limitations of the game that you learnt by heart, soul and mind from the greatest player of the game whom you chose before you started playing the game. In such situations revise the version of the rules of the game of life that you learnt, gather whatever your memory could and think of a protocol to obliterate the decoy who has come to deprive you of the gifts that you gained or earned in the game, of which you may or may not be aware of and which will help you to succeed in the higher stages of the game and then act upon that protocol as soon as your turn arrives while playing the game. Remember you will never get a chance to meet that greatest player until you finish the game.
While playing this game obey the version of the rules of the game that you learnt by heart, soul and mind from your greatest player of the game whom you chose before you started playing the game. If you break any of the rules of the game of life that you learnt, you will have to face the consequences. These consequences are proportional to the nature of the player. During your turn in the game, you will be given complete authority, freedom and power to make and establish new rules and improvise the rules you were told by your greatest player of your choice. But remember never try to make your own laws to make the game more interesting, you may get bored at times and will be tempted to do so, your opposition will lure you but at such times recall the consequences you faced when you thought you are going to win the game, this might help to give up the thoughts.
As always if you quit, you lose and you will find it very easy to quit. And when you start enjoying the game don’t get lost in the pleasure so much that your awareness fades away. Pause and reflect whenever your faith vexes and think. Your voluntary intervals are the privilege that god gives to each of us and forgive me I am not quite sure if it is a bane or a boon for the devil that he never takes respite, but I can tell you that god never let the devil rest, he keeps on playing till the end and you should know for him the winning prize is far much better then what you are going to get if you win.
***
RULES INSIDE HELL
1. Do not wish for anything.
2. Do not use imagination.
3. Just act.
4. Don’t try to break the cell you are in.
5. Prayer is still your weapon.
6. Don’t fear while reflecting.
7. Try to remember your dreams.
8. More you stay here, the more wealth you will accumulate for next life.
1. Try to think of new games.
2. Never ask for help.
3. Remember your reflections.
4. Defeat doubt.
5. Accept the injustice then they will not use force on you.
***
What I see you do not see, what I hear you do not hear, the taste I receive you will never receive in this life, you will never feel what I feel when I touch you, the fragrance I get from a flower you will never get when you smell that flower. But I feel your pain and I know you feel mine. Only the god of your understanding can judge you and others.
The wheel of time turns due to a single sentient entity of this universe, who is doing maximum effort at that point of time and when someone else shows greater effort, the wheel of time turns backwards.
If you want a change or punish someone all you have to do is, think of that entity and tell your master to give all the pains you have received till now, to that sentient entity, similarly you can give pleasure too.
Child forgives but the father never forgives that is why there is so much suffering around us.
There will be times when wherever you go you’ll notice that people around you are talking about you. At such time do what you do most, without disturbing others.
When you break and make one thing repeatedly the confluence age arrives, but its intensity differs from person to person.
I teach the game of life, I learn the game of life and I play the game of life in the same time.
You will receive the gift of breathing your last breath soon. The only motivation to drive us had been the urge to teach what we’ve learnt in this secret game of life, so that our students don’t have to suffer as we did.
***
I will always be the devil in disguise in any version of hell I roam. I realized that I am a snare set by Atmi which only saints can see and are able to escape but the sinners get easily trapped.
The moment after I saw a white shade in front of me, the man in white bowed to me but I did not reciprocate his gesture, later when I was having lunch, a sick man was sitting in front of me, thinking that I should respond to the man in white, I bowed an inch, and then when my eyes fell upon the sick man, he gazed at me with the look same as a cruel master has for his slave.
Ther
e are few entities in our life that are harmful to us, but we still love them, and we sacrifice ourselves for their sake, even God does that; because of his forgiving and loving nature, he is tempted to love Devil but he doesn’t. When you see anyone in misery never think that God is unfair as whatever others are going through either you have been through it or you have averted it by your karma.
Sometimes I think in my world, I am the eldest and every sentient entity present in my world gets the same choices which I got in my life and everyone has to walk on the same path on which I have travelled. Everyone is like me and everyone is living my old life. The three things that distinguish them are that, in which stage of the game they are traversing, how much time they take to clear any particular stage of the game. How much old is their spirit.
I am not the eldest one in my world. Our final destination and the game of life we play is same for everyone but each individual plays with a unique style and each individual treads on a unique path to reach the goal of life which is same for everyone but at some points in our life, our paths coincide or overlap each other’s path. There is a reason of our existence and we are not mere slaves of something which has great powers.
You must be thinking when you'll find the truth you'll either worship me or send me to hell. I have seen your past, I am with you in the present and I know your future.