Always Fraser

by A. K. Steel

  “I know you're not. This was really special to me too. I don’t want to lose you because of this, you mean too much to me.”

  “Too late, Fraser! What, I’m supposed to watch you with other girls now and pretend I’m okay? When I know what we have here is real, but you're just too scared to tell my brother? Sorry, I can't do it!”

  “You think it's not hard for me too?” He pulls me back down on the bed, trying to kiss me again, but I push him away.

  “You’ve made your choice, Fraser. Don’t tell me we can’t but continue to kiss me, it’s so unfair. I can't do whatever this is between us anymore. I leave for Sydney next week and that's it. I need to move on from you. It hurts too much to be so close to you and not be with you.”

  “You're moving to Sydney and didn’t tell me?”

  “I hadn’t made my mind up until tonight, but I am now. There’s nothing keeping me here.”

  “If that's what you want, Elly, then that's how it’ll be.”

  I grab my bag and walk out of his bedroom. I’m never going to recover from this. My heart shatters into a million tiny pieces.

  And that was that. I lost more than just my virginity that night, I lost one of my best friends. I haven’t seen him since. Of course Drew still talks about him, but once he was on the surf tour, they didn’t see each other as much and we all just got on with our own lives. I wonder what he looks like now. I have to admit I have stalked him a couple of times on Facebook, but not for a few years.

  Tomorrow will be interesting.

  Chapter Four

  Fraser

  “Sophie, wake up,” I call, slapping her on the arse. “You need to go, I'm late for work.”

  Sophie’s sprawled out over my bed, naked as the day she was born, and she’s not moving at all. Sunday night drinks with her was a bad idea. She begged to see me again, and after the wild night we had on Friday, how could I resist—or should I say, how could my dick resist? I’ve been seeing her for a few weeks. There's not much conversation between us. Not to stereotype, but she's kind of a dumb blonde, but the sex is fucking hot so I keep going back for more. "I'm jumping in the shower," I call back to her. She's starting to wake now finally.

  I hop in the shower and the warm water breathes new life into me. My body’s waking up for the day. I think back to poor Sophie. I know she's getting attached, I can feel it, so it's inevitable that this arrangement we have needs to end soon. I’ve been like this since high school. It's just easier. You get too attached to anyone and you're just in for heartache. I learned that the hard way, watching my dad pine after my bitch of a mother when she took off with another man.

  I thought I had something with someone once, but she turned out the same as my mum and left. So that shit’s not going to happen to me again. I’ll have my fun then move on when I’m bored or they start getting too attached, then I’ll find someone new to play with. The girls know that's the way it’s going to be from the start, so if they get hurt that's on them. I know I sound like a selfish arsehole and I probably am, but this works for me.

  I turn off the shower and dry off, trying to pull myself together, ready for a massive day that I'm already late for.

  I glance at my car clock as I pull into our parking lot of our building. It's 11am already. I’m running so late; Blake is going to be pissed. He likes everything running to our schedule and now our whole day will be off. I have a shitload of work that has to be done today as well. I’m going to be here till late now. That’s what you get when you rock up late to work and it's your own business—the work still has to be done. We share this office with our third business partner, Ash, he's the developer. But he is very rarely in, preferring to work from home unless he has a meeting, and he could care less what time I'm in.

  I push through the double mahogany doors to our office and round the corner, stopping dead in my tracks. Blake’s office blinds are open, and he’s in there with a girl. Not just any girl. My girl. It's her.

  I can hardly believe my eyes. It might have been years since I’ve seen her in the flesh, but I know that body. I memorised every inch of it in high school. She's standing at Blake’s desk, leaning over slightly, looking through a folder on his desk. Her black jeans are so tight they look painted on. She's not the young girl I knew back then, all shy and innocent. I can tell that by just looking at her and watching the way she interacts with Blake.

  She has confidence about her as she flicks her hair over her shoulder and chats to him. She’s animated like she’s telling a story, and she’s sexy as fuck. I watch them for a while, trying to process what's going on here. They’re deep in conversation, and now she's laughing at something he said. I know Blake, he's not that funny. What’s going on between them? What's she doing here in our office?

  I shake my head as if to erase what I've been watching. Who knows how long I was standing here spying, but I better stop watching them like some weirdo before I get caught. I walk into my office, which is adjacent to Blake’s, and dump my coffee cup, and the work I took home with me over the weekend, on my desk. I check myself out in the glass door and walk straight to Blake's office. I knock once on his door then walk in, not waiting for a reply.

  I want to know what she's doing in his office and now. I'm not a patient man. Lucky Blake’s used to me by now, after living with me for years, and now sharing an office too, he knows I’m not waiting for anything.

  “Hey, mate. Sorry I’m late. What’s going on here? Did I miss the memo?” They both turn to look at me. Fuck, she's stunning. She's even better than I remember. With long hair, a strange colour for her. Blue? But it suits her, frames her oval-shaped face. She has such pretty features she could get away with anything.

  She was always a little different to the other girls at school. They used to make fun of her because she was different, but for me, it's a massive turn-on. Her pouty red lips turn into her trademark massive smile as soon as she sees me. You don’t forget a smile like that. It was the first thing that attracted me to her all those years ago. She would flash that smile and you would have to smile back. It's contagious. But it's those eyes, they draw me in every time, they’re somewhere between green and blue, and when she flutters those long lashes I’m gone. She hasn't even said a word and already I know it—I'm screwed when it comes to her.

  Blake clears his throat. “Fraser, good morning.” He’s checking his watch as we have a silent conversation with our eyes.

  Yes, I know, I’m late, get on with it. Though why is she here? I turn to look back at her, and her gaze roams over me, those eyes drawing me in already. I’ve got to stop looking at her, but I can’t.

  “This is Elena. I forgot to tell you yesterday that she would be dropping in. She's an interior stylist and brought in her portfolio to show you, for some of the styling jobs.”

  Before I know it, she jumps up and wraps her arms around me, pulling me into her body. I can’t help but inhale her scent. She smells amazing. She smells like summer, vanilla and coconut maybe. It must be her hair, it's intoxicating.

  “If it isn’t the Fraser Davis. So nice to see you again after all this time.”

  “Elena Walker, nice to see you too.”

  Blake is now standing up looking completely confused. “You two know each other?” He gestures between us.

  Elena giggles. “We did a long time ago.”

  “Her twin was my best mate in high school. You know, Drew the surfer, he’s stayed with us before.”

  “Yeah, of course, why didn’t I connect this all up sooner?” Blake's eyes have gone wide and he's looking at Elena like she's in trouble for not saying anything.

  “I didn’t work it out either until last night, when Theo said Fraser had moved home and you work together.”

  She leaves my arms and I feel the loss straight away as she moves over to sit on Blake’s desk. I don’t like this. They look all cosy.

  “How do you two know each other? And how did I not know about it?” I motion between them.

  “W
e met last week when I went to measure up for the Walker job. Jim was out and Elly was helping in his place.”

  “And then Blake showed me a good time on Saturday night, followed by breakfast Sunday morning,” she taunts with a cheeky smile, bumping Blake’s arm. If I didn’t know better, I’d think she was trying to bait me, and it's working. What the fuck is going on? Are they together? I shift my stance and cross my arms. I'm starting to get pissed.

  Blake can see my change in mood. “That's not exactly how it went now, did it, Elly?”

  “What... oh fine, we’ve just been hanging out. I've been bored out of my brains at home with Mum and Dad, and Blake kindly offered to take me out for the night.”

  “I see. Well, did you want to show me that portfolio? You can bring it into my office and I’ll have a look through now, if you like?” I say, gesturing towards the door.

  “Sure, thanks.” She turns to look back to Blake. “I'll come to grab you for lunch when we're done,” she says, with that massive smile I thought she saved only for me.

  “Thanks, that would be good.” He goes back to working on his computer.

  I wait patiently for her as she slowly makes her way to my office, then I close the door. I don't want Blake to hear this conversation. She places her portfolio on my desk and takes a seat, looking very carefree and relaxed. Just as she always used to. That was something I used to like about her. She had a calming presence over me, one of the only ones that could calm my crazy.

  Except when she was making me jealous, like now.

  “What’s going on here, Elly? I thought you were living in Sydney with that arsehole, what's his name, about to make the biggest mistake of your life by marrying him. Then I arrive at work this morning to find you all over my business partner.” I sit across from her, giving her my 'I’m not happy' glare. If I was going to see her again this was not how I wanted it to happen.

  “Wow,” she says, straightening up in her chair and crossing her arms, “you haven’t changed a bit, Fraser. Still think you have some kind of say in how my life should be? Stop looking at me like that. If you must know, I left Jessie three months ago because he cheated on me! Oh, and I wasn’t all over Blake, I was showing him my work.”

  “I see, well, you're better off without him anyway. From what I hear from Drew, he was a total dick. What’s going on with Blake? Are you sleeping with him?”

  “Um, totally inappropriate for the office, Fraser! Do you really expect me to answer that?”

  “Yes, it's my office, I can ask what I want.” I'm getting angry now. Why won't she just tell me what's going on? I want to know what I'm up against. Blake and I have had trouble in the past with girls, and I don't want this to become a problem.

  She rolls her eyes at me, obviously annoyed at my questions. “Not that it's any of your business, but no! We’re just friends, he’s been nice to me, that's it. What’s your problem anyway? I'm 25, pretty sure I can sleep with whoever I want. Thought you would have grown up and moved on from all your jealous mood swings by now.”

  “Not when it comes to you, obviously,” I huff.

  She rolls her eyes at me again. “Well, you might have to sort that problem out. I thought I was here to show you my portfolio so I could try and get some work, but if you're going to be a dick, I don’t want to work with you anyway.” She grabs her portfolio and stands to leave, heading for the door. But I get there first and put my arm over the door so she can't open it. She looks pissed. Really pissed. Shit, I’ve gone too far.

  “Sorry, Elly, I was just surprised to see you after all this time, that's all. I didn’t mean to have a go at you.”

  “Yeah, well, you did. My life is already shit enough, I don't need you making me feel even worse. Why do you care if I’m seeing Blake, anyway?”

  “I don't, I was just surprised, that's all. I’m sorry things have been shit for you lately. Come sit back down. I'll have a look at your portfolio and see if we can work something out.”

  “You have no idea how shit, Fraser. I feel like my whole world has fallen apart.” She slowly walks back to my desk, taking a seat.

  I flick through her work. “So, you worked as the assistant stylist on Project Reno for the last four years, but weren’t you just helping out the designer? Have you ever managed a project of your own?”

  “I was managing all of the projects on my own. That's why I left. My boss was a total narcissistic bitch. She was great on camera, but she didn’t do anything behind the scenes. So, yes, I can handle any project by myself. That's why I’m here. I’m starting my own interior styling business and I was hoping you guys might need a freelance stylist. Blake said sometimes you work on larger projects and need someone to style for sale.”

  I look back over her portfolio, flicking through the pages of work. “Everything I can see here looks really good. Your style would suit our aesthetic perfectly. But I need to ask you something, and I need you to answer honestly. Do you think we can work together with our history?”

  She looks down at her hands for a minute as if contemplating how to answer, then her eyes lift and look straight into mine. “Without a doubt. When it comes to my work, I’m a total professional. Besides, there’s nothing here but two old high school friends who now work in the same industry.”

  Good answer, but I can see in her eyes that there is more here. The chemistry that we had back then, it’s still here. I can feel it. I haven’t felt like this since I gave up on us all those years ago, and I know, when it comes to Elly, I’m in big trouble. But just like when we were kids, when it comes to her, I can't help myself. I want to see how this is going to play out. “Okay, well, if you're sure?” I ask.

  She nods her head.

  “We have a smaller project for some townhouses in Broken Point that need styling for sale. They go to auction next month so you would need to get started straight away if you're interested.”

  “That sounds perfect. Yes, I’m interested, thank you.”

  “I'll email you the project brief and budget. You will need to include your wage when working out how you spend your budget.”

  “Okay, perfect. I don’t have a business card yet. Can I just write my number and email down somewhere for you?” She scribbles it down on a scrap of paper from her bag.

  “I'll put it in my phone now so I don’t lose it.”

  “Thank you so much for this opportunity, Fraser. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you taking a chance on me.” She smiles. Fuck, she’s gorgeous when she smiles.

  “No worries. I’m sure you’ll do an amazing job.”

  She gets up to leave then turns just before the door, catching me watching her. “Drew’s home this week and Mum’s organising a birthday party on Saturday night for us, if you want to come? I’m sure Drew would love to see you.”

  “I spoke to him last week, and he didn’t say he was coming home. He didn’t tell me you were home either, though.”

  “He's hopeless! Don’t worry, he forgot to tell Mum as well, she only found out because of me. Thanks again.” She smiles.

  I watch through the open door as she walks back into Blake’s office. There's definitely something more than just friends going on there, and I don’t like it. I need to set him straight quickly. If I can’t have her, he can’t either.

  Elena

  I walk back into Blake’s office, and he looks up and smiles the instant he sees me. “You ready for lunch?” I ask.

  He motions for me to sit on the brown leather lounge in his office. “I’ve just got to finish sending one email then we can go.”

  I sit scrolling through my phone while I wait. Fraser looks the same but also so different. He’s bigger than I remember. I mean, he was always kind of built, even in high school, but now his arms are massive, and you can almost see the outline of his six-pack through his shirt. I would love to run my hand over his chest. His dark hair is different too, not the short and spiky haircut he had going on. It's now longer in the front. He looks good, too good.


  I’m not sure why I’m bothering to scroll through my phone, I’m not taking anything in. All I can think about is him and how this morning went differently than how I planned in my head. I’m not sure what I was expecting. Fraser has always been jealous when it comes to me dating, one of the reasons I moved so far away after high school. He wanted to keep me close but not be with me. I had to move away so I could start over without him around. I’m not letting him do that to me again. I'm here for the long haul now. I love it here in Byron and I’m so glad I came back home. Once I get a bit of money together and start this business properly, I’m moving out of Mum and Dad’s and putting my life back together here. He’s just going to have to grow up and deal with seeing me with other men, because I’m sure he's dating half of Byron.

  My phone lights up with a number I recognise, but I'm not sure if I should answer or not?

  Blake looks over his computer at me. "You going to get that?"

  "It's my old work," I say, pulling a scared face.

  "Find out what they want."

  I answer, my voice unsure and a little shaky. "Hello."

  "It's Bridget, the network has asked that I call you and see if you would consider your old job back," she barks. Still the same old Bridget, no warmth or emotion in her voice, just straight to the point. It must be killing her to make this call. She will never admit that she is wrong, but just by the fact that she is calling now, I know it's all turning to shit over there.

  "I'm confused. I thought you said you could replace me in a heartbeat," I say, a little smugger than I intended but it totally serves her right.

  "Well, it seems I may have underestimated the job you were doing. We have had all three of your replacements quit within weeks of starting. And the suppliers are being difficult to work with."

  "Have you ever thought that's because you’re difficult to work with? Sorry, Bridget, I wouldn't come back even if you doubled my salary. Maybe this is karma saying you need to change the way you work with people. Good luck with it all."