In The Valley Of Shadows

by Kat Smith

  “You were never supposed to know.” She looked at Alex with an uncertain smile. “Believe me, I’ll suffer her wrath if she ever finds out I told you.”

  “She won’t. Thank you.”

  Payton studied the wine as she swirled it in the glass. “You also have to understand that when we first joined the Army, times were very different for us, a lot more difficult than they are for you and Devan. If we’d been caught in a relationship, we would have been dishonorably discharged.”

  She pushed the wine aside. It was causing her to say more than she would have if she were stone sober, but she felt an overwhelming need to make Alex understand the mind and spirit of her complicated mother. “That façade you talked about was for our survival. When we walked out of the house every morning, we had to appear to be straight female soldiers. It was hard enough to be tough females in a profession of macho men. Having our sexuality known…well, God only knows what would have happened to us.

  “She was so torn when you chose to join the Army. She knew how hard it would be on you. She was also glad you took her maiden name instead of your father’s. She knew you would have enough hurdles to jump and didn’t need to be constantly compared to her. She didn’t want you to feel that you needed to live up to her accomplishments, set new records, some of which she still holds to this day.

  “She…we…wanted an easier life for you than we had, but once you’d made up your mind to enlist, we supported you with every cell in our body. You’ve blazed your own trail in the Army and now with the ICC. We’re very proud of you and your achievements.

  “Your mother has never asked anything of you, so I will. You must trust her now, believe that she’ll do what’s right. Believe and trust that she will bring Devan home to you.”

  Payton moved around the island, set her glass in the sink, and popped a K-Cup into the Keurig. “But you’re right, we’ve allowed a lifetime of secrecy to seep inside our life, our home…into our safe place. We’ve recognized it, and it has caused problems at times between us. But understand this and don’t ever forget it. I love your mother more than life itself, and I’ll do anything…anything to protect her…even from you.”

  Payton started placing the cooled cookies into a large plastic container. “Protecting her, protecting us was the reason I left the Army and moved to the CIA, then the NSA, and finally the ICC.”

  Alex gave Payton a questioning look. “I thought you were tired of the Army.”

  “I moved because it was the one thing I could do to make her life, our life together, easier, less complicated.” She turned to face Alex.

  The room fell quiet as Payton stored away the cookies. When she turned and saw Alex, head bowed and staring at her lap, she spoke gently but firmly. “You owe her an apology.”

  Alex lifted her head and slid her glass of wine aside. “You’re right. I do.”

  Alex stood and moved toward the door leading to the stairs, but Payton stopped her. “Not now. Leave her be. I’ll take care of her tonight.”

  Payton finished packing away the cookies. Then she made a turkey sandwich and two cups of tea. She placed the plate and cups on a tray and climbed the curving staircase to the second floor.

  She eased through the door to see Mara sitting cross-legged on the bed looking at a photo. Mara’s eyes were red and swollen from crying. “I brought you a sandwich and some tea.”

  Mara didn’t look up. “I’m not hungry, babe.”

  Payton placed the tray on the bedside table and slid the file box sitting on the bed beside Mara aside. She gently took the photo from Mara’s hand. “Who is this handsome young man?”

  Mara looked at it sadly. “Lieutenant Anthony Burdock’s son, Jason.” She took the photo back from Payton. “He looks just like his father. He died last week when his convoy hit an IED in Afghanistan.”

  “I’m so sorry.” She placed her hand on Mara’s.

  “Tori, Anthony’s wife, told me when I called her. Today is the anniversary of Lieutenant Burdock’s death.”

  Payton caressed Mara’s hand and waited. She knew there was more.

  “Jason had a wife and two kids―twins. Tori’s devastated, but she’s staying strong, holding steady for the kids. I can’t imagine losing my spouse, then almost five years to the day later, my child.”

  Payton tipped Mara’s chin up and gently kissed her. “I’m so sorry, baby. I know how much you care…know how much that caring hurts you.”

  “They’re mine. They’ll always be mine.” She swiped a tear from her eye.

  Payton took the photo, placed it in the box, and handed Mara a cup of tea. “Drink. You need something in your system.”

  Mara sipped, then looked sadly at Payton. “She hates me. I never realized how much until tonight.”

  “No, she doesn’t hate you. She’s hurt, scared, and damned stubborn as hell.”

  “She got that from her father.” Mara smiled for the first time.

  Payton handed Mara the sandwich. Keep her talking and she’ll eat, she thought. She laughed as she stood and walked into the en suite bathroom. “Ha. She gets that from you, Colonel. The two of you are cut from the same cloth, and it’s why you constantly butt heads.”

  Mara set the sandwich aside when Payton emerged from the bathroom in boxers and T-shirt with ARMY emblazoned on the front. “Want me to put that away for you?”

  Mara nodded. “On the chair is fine. I have two more calls tomorrow.”

  Payton moved the box and crawled into bed beside Mara. “Do you remember that old triplex we lived in when we first got together?”

  “What made you think of that?” She chuckled.

  “I was just thinking about how much easier Alex and Devan have it compared to when we came up through the ranks.” She flipped another pillow over her head and leaned back.

  Mara smirked. “Remember that old geezer who lived on the end? He was always snooping around. He almost caught you sneaking into my apartment.” Mara laughed.

  We’re turning the corner, Payton thought. “One night in my apartment, then next in yours. The identical rooms we made up for Alex, so she wouldn’t get confused about where she was in the middle of the night. God, we were young…ballsy.”

  “We didn’t have a choice. We had to hide. Even now, we still have to live in the shadows.” Mara slid over and rested her head on Payton’s shoulder. “Remember the door we found that had been paneled over during a renovation, and we opened it back up?”

  “Made things a lot easier.” Payton loved this time alone with Mara. They’d been so busy the last few weeks, spending ungodly hours at work and getting home so late, they’d gone straight to bed, exhausted. “The kids have no idea how it was for us. Sneaking around, hiding… pretending to be best friends.”

  Mara slipped her hand under Payton’s T-shirt and gently brushed her fingers across her flat stomach. “We were best friends.”

  Payton kissed the top of Mara’s head. “You know what I mean. Then you got promoted, and things got difficult.”

  “You had to take over mom duty because I was away so much.”

  “Yep, but we were finally able to justify moving in together. I was the live-in baby sitter.” Payton chuckled.

  “God. All the hiding, pretending to be something we weren’t. Living a false life by day, trying to shake it off at night.” Mara grew quiet for a minute. “It changed us. It changed who we are.”

  “Well, I wouldn’t change a thing. We made it through, and we still have each other. That’s all that matters.”

  “Alex is right, we don’t have to hide anymore. But we’ve lived this way for so long, I’m not sure I know how to live any other way.”

  Payton ran her fingers through Mara’s hair. She loved lying together talking. “The kids have it easier. They don’t know what it’s like to have to hide.”

  “Devan’s unit knows she’s gay. No one cares. She’s earned their respect. That’s the way it should be.” They lay in quiet comfort for a moment until Mara chuckled. “We w
ere reckless at times. Remember when you slipped and fell off the back porch during the ice storm and broke your wrist?”

  “It’s funny now, wasn’t then.”

  “You hid in the shrubbery when the old man came out.”

  Payton tipped Mara’s chin up and kissed her. “I was on a mission to get to you. We were in love.”

  “We are in love.” Mara turned in Payton’s arms and gave her a proper kiss.

  “Yes, we are.” Payton pushed on Mara’s shoulders until she was on her back, then rolled on top of her and kissed her gently on the lips. “So very much.” She moved to brush her lips across Mara’s neck, down to her shoulder.

  “Do you think…”

  Payton placed two fingers on Mara’s lips. “Nope. No more talking.” Then she lowered her lips to the base of Mara’s neck. “Now where was I?” When Payton heard Mara laugh, she knew, at least for tonight, everything would be okay.

  Chapter Fourteen

  It had taken time and thought, but Devan and Teona had settled into a routine that worked well while also providing adequate safety and protection for both.

  Bathroom breaks for Christopher were now a lot easier since they had ransacked his van and found supplies to keep him more secure. They had waited until dark one night and rummaged through the van. They’d found the mundane items like his clothes and a large stash of canned food and staples. Teona took the food into the house and stowed it away, and Devan felt a bit better about all the food she’d consumed.

  They had also found the evidence that proved he had experience in holding people captive. A box of flex cuffs, a selection of knives, saws, a blowtorch, and a pair of bolt cutters that were stained with what Devan believed was blood. One of the best discoveries was finding two sets of shackles, and Devan found it apropos to use his weapons of abduction against him. Devan’s best find was another stash of rubles. There had to be the equivalent of, at least, a half-million U.S. dollars. She’d hauled that case inside and hid it under Teona’s bed. She was required to take anything of value back with her, especially money and jewelry, but she was determined that Teona would not be left desolate. Not after what she’d done to keep her alive and nurse her back to health.

  Devan had the shackles to secure Christopher’s ankles. They were long enough to allow him to shuffle walk to the bathroom, but not long enough for him to feel like he had a chance of escape. The second set was used on his wrists. Devan could remove those for his ever-frequent bathroom breaks, so he could use his hands for…well, what needed to be done…but they had him secured to a point they could all sleep at night.

  Christopher was currently napping on his makeshift bed on the floor in the sitting room while Devan and Teona sat at the kitchen table drinking tea.

  “I will miss you when you go,” Teona said shyly. “It has been very long time since I had friend.”

  Devan smiled. “I’ll miss you, too.” She popped a piece of sweet bread in her mouth. “But I’m working on a way we can keep in touch.”

  They had become friends over the last few weeks. Devan knew she would never have made it without Teona’s help. She would have died a slow, painful death had her new friend decided to turn away, or worse yet, call the police to come take her.

  They had spent many nights talking. Teona told Devan of her life growing up in Russia. Devan told Teona about her horrible childhood, living on the streets until she met Craig and Elaine Courtney, life in America, in the Army. She’d worried that Teona’s feelings would change when she revealed that she was gay, but her fears were quickly put to rest when Teona urged her to talk about Alex. The stories she shared had been the steel that forged her determination to get home. She’d never met anyone like the petite Russian woman. She might have been small, but her heart was huge, her compassion unending, and her friendship unconditional.

  Teona had risked her life, as well as her job, to help her. In addition to the brace for Devan’s foot, she’d stolen bandages, antibiotics, and the brace Devan wore around her torso to keep her ribs immobile.

  Teona had been angry when Devan had hacked away at the cast on her arm the day of Christopher’s arrival, but a couple of days later, the stench had become so nauseating Teona decided it was time to be rid of it once and for all. Although Devan’s arm was still painful when she used it too much, it was growing stronger each day.

  Devan’s worst days came not long after Christopher arrived. During one of his many trips to the bathroom, Christopher had tried to overpower her. The wound on her leg had been torn open in the fight and she’d contracted a horrible infection. Her temperature soared as the infection took hold, and they both worried that the infection would be the end of her. At a loss, Teona had finally contacted Dr. Orlov for help, but even with his best efforts, the infection continued to rage out of control without the proper medication.

  Teona had once again risked everything and stolen the drugs from the hospital. She’d cleaned and packed the wound while Devan screamed in agony. She’d been completely incapacitated, going in and out of consciousness. Teona had been forced to call out sick from work so she could keep watch over Christopher. After days of dedicated care, the medication began to work, the fever broke, and Devan had once again survived. Although the scar was disfiguring, the wound was finally healed.

  It had taken weeks, but Devan was feeling better with each new day. She still wore the brace on her foot and believed she had indeed fractured her ankle in the fall from the tree. She could now breathe without wincing from the pain in her ribs. All in all, life was beginning to look up for her. It was all because of Teona, and Devan was determined to make sure she was kept safe after her departure.

  Although it was a Saturday, and Teona had the day off from the hospital, they had work to do. It was time to allow Christopher to have his twice-weekly shower. Even though Devan felt she could manage him, Teona had insisted on being present when Christopher’s restraints were removed. For their protection, Devan took the AK-12, and Teona took the handgun, and they guarded him everywhere he went.

  Devan picked up the teacups and took them to the sink. “It’s time for his shower.”

  Teona scowled. “Yes.” She retrieved two towels and his clean clothes from the counter.

  When they went back into the apartment, Devan lightly kicked Christopher’s feet to wake him up. “Time to get up and wash off the stink, sleepyhead.”

  He jerked awake. “It’s about time.”

  The process was simple. Devan would remove the shackles and walk him into the bathroom. The door would remain open, so Devan could keep him in sight. Teona would stand on the other side of the room, ready to back up Devan if Christopher decided to try another escape. Once the shower was done and he was dressed, the restraints went back on, and everyone could once again relax.

  Later that evening, Teona and Devan were in what had once been Christopher’s bedroom. The single bed had been moved to Teona’s bedroom, giving them both a comfortable place to sleep.

  Teona watched as Devan explained how to access the new email account that she’d created for her. Devan opened a blank email, typed in a few words, and saved it to the drafts folder.

  “What does it read?”

  Although Teona’s English was getting better, there were times it took Devan a minute to figure out what she was saying, or in this case asking. “It doesn’t say anything. I was just showing you how to do it.”

  “Oh.” She nodded and furrowed her brows.

  Devan slid over. “Now you do it.”

  After several attempts, it finally kicked in, and Teona grinned. “Good. Now we will talk when you go.”

  “Yes. Yes, we will.” Devan sat back and grinned with pride.

  Christopher was a constant source of annoyance for Devan and Teona. He would try almost anything to wear them down. He sang one day for so long he lost his voice. He would bang the chains of his shackles on the floor or go on long bouts of shouting during the night to keep them awake.

  The next morni
ng, Devan woke up, looked at her watch, and realized it was after 1000. She jumped out of bed and hobbled to the den as fast as she could to find Christopher sitting on his blankets with a sock stuffed in his mouth.

  When Teona came in from work later that day and Devan asked about the sock, she’d just shrugged and said, “I am tired of his blabber.” She’d looked at Devan and grinned. “New English I learn from you, blabber. You always tell him, ‘Stop your blabbering.’” When Devan had just stared at her, she said, “What? I got tired of his blabber. I stop it.”

  Devan laughed so hard her ribs hurt. “Well, let me teach you another saying we have in America. Put a sock in it.”

  Teona had pondered the words and stated matter-of-factly, “Yes, that is what I do.”

  Two days later, Devan was sitting with Teona while she practiced creating emails when there was a knock at the back door. Devan instinctively spun out of the chair and put herself between Teona and the bedroom door. When she heard footsteps receding from the house, she peered out the window and caught a glimpse of someone in a black hoodie rounding the corner. She put her a finger to her lips to keep Teona quiet, then eased out of the bedroom and closed the door.

  Devan went to the front window, and when she peered out, she saw a truck pulling away from the curb. She passed through the foyer, into Teona’s apartment, and retrieved the MP-443 from the nightstand in the bedroom. As she moved quickly through the sitting room to the kitchen, she mentally chastised herself for becoming too comfortable.

  The knock on the door had roused Christopher from sleep, and he watched Devan as she passed through the sitting room. He couldn’t help but appreciate her stance, the way she cautiously peered into the kitchen a moment before she went in low and swept the room. He silently wished he’d had good soldiers like her on his team. If he had, maybe he wouldn’t be sitting in this god-awful house shackled and humiliated.

  Devan waited in the kitchen for a good two minutes before she chanced a look out the back door to see a package on the steps. The hair on the back of her neck prickled. It could be a bomb, she thought, and moved quickly back to Teona. She had to get the woman as far away from the package as possible before she dared to touch it.