By Wind

by T Thorn Coyle

  Not that they expected anything to go wrong, but one never knew, did they?

  Brenda stalked around the circle, feeling her coven siblings as she passed. Each had their own energetic signature, unique. Some had a scent, some had a visual tag, and others? She could simply feel them, warm or cold, steady or wavering. There was Cassiel’s forest, Lucy’s cinnamon, and Raquel’s ocean waves. And Brenda? For tonight, at least, she was the wind that would sweep all things clean and clear again. She had to be, or this whole operation wasn’t going to work.

  She started speaking as she walked the edges of the circle, pacing around Lawrence and Louis, with the Arrow and Crescent coven holding down the edges. She let her eyes soften into that half-lidded state, allowing her to see in between the worlds. Priestess sight, it was sometimes called. The ability to simultaneously see the physical and the astral planes, and sometimes many other realms beyond and in between.

  In that moment, she focused on the cords emanating from Lawrence.

  They were twisting, convoluted threads, thin, delicate, but braided like computer cables or the ropes that tied a boat to a dock. The cords pulsed, and every time they pulsed, the edges of Lawrence’s skin twitched just slightly. If Brenda hadn’t been in this in-between state, she probably wouldn’t have even noticed.

  “Lawrence?” she said.

  As she looked down at him, he swallowed, Adam’s apple moving beneath the skin on his throat. His head moved slightly. A nod. Okay.

  “I want you to do exactly what Raquel talked you through this morning. Breathe as deeply and slowly as you can. And imagine you can keep the soles of your feet, the crown of your head, and the palms of your hands open. If you need anything? Frater Louis is right there for you. He’ll be there the whole time. And if you ever need me to stop? All you have to do is say stop.”

  That was something they debated long and hard about. Some people in Arrow and Crescent insisted that Lawrence have an out.

  “He’s a civilian,” Lucy had said. “He didn’t take this on because he asked for it.” Not like the coven. Not like anyone who actually trained in magic, let alone took vows.

  Other coven members insisted that the stakes were high enough they had to see the process through no matter what. But in the end, Lucy had won out. Brenda was glad. The more she could diminish the harm that had already been done to Lawrence, the better.

  Brenda took in a deep breath herself. That was the way all magic began, with that first inhalation of life. She smelled beeswax, and a slight tang of sweat from her own body. It had been quite a day. There was no incense burning tonight—they wanted the air is clear as possible—but layer after layer of years of incense permeated the walls and ceiling of the attic nonetheless. She could smell the faint perfume of it.

  She raised her arms, the soft blue bell of her sleeves sliding down her arms.

  “Guides, and Gods, and Goddesses, hear me now! Allies and ancestors, and you who are yet to come. Heed my call. Help me. And you, angelic voice, whoever you are, wherever you are, I know I’ve been fighting with you. But I ask you now, should you want this work to be done, please join us here. Be here now.”

  “Be here now,” the whole coven answered in return. Lawrence took in a huge, shuddering breath. She heard Frater Louis murmuring to him, “Just keep trying to relax, son. I got you.”

  Brenda hoped that was true. Because what she was about to do? She had never done it before.

  She wasn’t even certain it could be done.

  36

  Caroline

  “What can you see?” Caroline asked Joshua. She’d managed to get Sharon onto her side, as he’d suggested, and covered her with a soft throw blanket Joshua had found in the back room.

  He’d also turned out half the lights in the shop, hoping to avoid someone looking through the window and wondering what the hell was going on.

  “She’s sent out cords. They’re everywhere. It’s a tangled mess, multiple energy cords weaving in and out around a few main, strong ropes. It almost looks as though some of them are branching off the main arteries, but I can’t really tell.”

  “But why is she reacting this way?” Caroline asked. Sharon moaned softly, interspersed with panting and crooning some strange incantations. Magic, Caroline supposed.

  This was all still so new to her. Despite the years at gem shows, she’d never encountered anything like it. And what an introduction.

  “I think the energy has looped back on itself and started affecting her. It happens a lot with magic. People think spells work one way, but they don’t. There’s always some sort of resonance, at the very least, or active backlash if you’re not careful or clean enough.”

  Caroline ran her hands through her hair and sat back on her heels. She was so far out of her depth, it wasn’t funny. She just hoped that whatever Brenda’s coven was doing right now was helping, instead of making Sharon worse.

  37

  Brenda

  She needed to find the place the cords connected back to Sharon. That was the key. If she couldn’t do that? Then all of this was a loss. A waste.

  The coven started humming a wordless chant to help support her in the journey. The sound of their mingled voices chanting, rising and falling around her, supported her. Brenda felt as though she could catch an updraft of wind and sail on through the astral planes. There were so many cords coming out of Lawrence, and that had confused her at first. She had no idea where they went. So she chose the strongest, fattest one, figuring that would lead to Sharon.

  And off she went, following it up onto the astral plane. She landed softly in the gray mist of the æthers, and looked around. The cord was still there, pulsing gently beneath her hand. But it didn’t seem to lead to anything.

  “What is going on?” she wondered, then turned in a circle to scope out the place.

  A figure walked toward her through the mist. It looked like a classic angel, with long dark hair sweeping down onto shoulders clad in a tight white T-shirt. The figure was wearing jeans. So perhaps not so classic after all. It was androgynous, something beyond male or female.

  Non-binary, she thought. Sort of like Selene. The classic thing about the angel was the sweep of large, white swan wings trailing behind. The figure was so beautiful, it took all of Brenda’s strength to not fall to her knees. When the angel was but a few yards away, it stopped and held up one hand, fingers facing upward, palm out.

  “Be not afraid,” they said.

  Brenda felt the words flow through her and around her like a warm breeze. It sounded just like the Voice in her head. Spit filled her mouth. She wasn’t sure if that was from fear or excitement.

  “It’s you,” she said.

  The angel smiled, then nodded. “You’ve put up quite a fight,” they said. “That’s good, it means you’re strong. And you need to be strong to do what needs to be done here. And you need to be strong for the things that are yet to come.”

  Oh great. Brenda felt her stomach muscles clenching with tension. Just what she needed, another harbinger of doom.

  “And are you going to help me with all of this?”

  “Angels are just…”

  “I know, I know. Angels are just the messengers of the great all that is or something, right?”

  Damn. She was off balance again. Tuning into her breath, she slowed herself down and remembered both her center and the crown above her head. Sending a breath upward, she felt all the parts of herself snap back into place.

  Aligned again. Like a priestess should be. And like a person needed to be to deal with a damn angel on the astral plane.

  The angel just stared at her for a moment, considering. Its eyes were almost completely pupil. If she looked closely enough, she could just barely make out the pinpricks of what looked like stars.

  “Walk with me,” the angel said.

  She followed the angel in the gray mist. As they moved, the mist slowly turned shades of pearl, with swirling hints of yellow, gold, pink, purple. Not really purple, she d
ecided. No. It was the barest trace of lavender, just like the sky at predawn.

  The cord remained in her hand. That was interesting. Was the angel leading her toward Sharon’s astral form? Brenda’s hand still slid along that same, strong, twining rope, even as she followed the angel’s wings, feathers lifting and rising up ahead.

  “Where are you taking me?”

  The angel turned their head to speak over their shoulder. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

  Great. Cryptic as always. She was coming to understand that was just the way angels were.

  The pearlescent colors shifted and brightened. As they walked on, it grew harder and harder to see the angel up ahead. Not because the mist had grown thick, but because the air was growing brighter. Too bright. All of a sudden, walking through the æthers was like walking into the sun.

  Brenda’s heart began to race. She found she couldn’t tell she was even walking anymore. Not that one could ever be said to walk in the æthers, but her mind liked to pretend that she could, even though it was actually her spirit moving through space and time. But now? It felt as though her molecules were drifting, pulled towards the sun, if that’s what it was. Inexorable light tugged at her. She could barely feel her own cord tethering her to her physical body down below.

  Some corner of her mind hoped that her coven was taking care of her body in Raquel’s attic room. And then the angel stopped.

  Brenda stopped, too, blinded by the sun. And she fell to her knees, and wept for joy.

  “What is this?” she whispered. “Where am I?”

  I am. That was her own voice, echoing inside her. But Brenda did not recall having that thought.

  The angel did not answer. The angel just looked at her with beautiful, dark, star-filled eyes.

  And Brenda Knew.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  The angel tilted their head and gave a slight shrug “Every person has to figure it out for themselves.”

  “So…” How to even put it. “You’re me?”

  “I am you,” they said. “But I am also the eternal. I am also the never ending. There is no separation, just the All.”

  “And now?”

  “And now, you get to decide whether we join forever, or will remain two separate beings.”

  “Should I trust you?” That was a foolish question, given the Knowledge pouring into her, but she asked it anyway.

  “Do you trust yourself?” the angel replied.

  She did. Brenda remembered what Raquel had told her—only a week ago, but it felt like years. “You’re coming up on a new initiation,” her friend had said. Funny, Brenda had been avoiding that, hadn’t she?

  She stood up again, and wiped at her face. The light was still blinding. She squinted at the angel.

  “Can I take care of these cords first? Before we do the joining?” she asked.

  “Things will go easier if we do this first.”

  So Brenda took another breath, and held out her arms, spreading them wide. She dropped the cord. It floated like an astral snake beside her, holding itself aloft.

  The angel stepped forward. Brenda stepped forward, mirroring its movement.

  The angel stepped forward again, its outline limned in the brightest light. Brenda narrowed her gaze, then finally closed her eyes against the light, trusting that she would sense what she needed to do, where she needed to go. She stepped forward again, arms still outstretched. There was a sense of coolness, and then warmth around her. Her skin felt abraded for an instant, and tight, as though she had a terrible sunburn. Then she began to shake. Her whole being trembled, from her center outward.

  She kept her eyes screwed shut, unwilling or unable to open them. To see. So she felt instead. She felt her entire life. Every wrong done and offered. Every bit of harm. Every moment of generosity and grace. Every laugh. Every kiss and sigh. Every thought. Every action and failure to act. And then, with a flash of heat, and light so bright she could see it even behind her closed eyes, it was done. The edges of her skin exploded, and her throat forced out a shout.

  Brenda fell to her knees once more, and then her palms smacked down on to what should have been nothingness, but what felt like wood floor beneath one hand and a soft rug under the other. There was the sudden rush of scent and sound. Beeswax candles burning down. And voices, chanting.

  She opened up her eyes and saw her coven, sitting in a circle, toning, and chanting, and inhaling in staggered rounds.

  There was Lawrence and Frater Louis, both of their eyes closed. And her friend Raquel, the only one whose eyes were open, staring straight at her, and then Raquel was in motion. Rising, moving to Brenda’s side. She fell into Raquel’s warm embrace and began to laugh.

  “What’s so funny?” Raquel whispered in her ear. “And why are you back?” The coven stopped their chanting.

  “I guess I’m an angel now,” Brenda said. “Or, not an angel, but…” She flapped her hands around herself, as if to indicate that her aura had changed. “You know. Not just me.”

  Frater Louis had emerged from his reverie and looked at her keenly. “You’ve gotten your HGA.”

  Lawrence breathed on, chest rising and falling, face slack as though nothing was going on around him. As though nothing had changed.

  HGA. “My Holy Guardian Angel?”

  “Yes!” Frater Louis beamed. “Also known as your moment of enlightenment. You are whole now, Brenda. You’ve achieved what every magician desires.”

  “And now what?” Raquel asked, dryly. “You were supposed to be following the cords. Figuring out where they connected.”

  Brenda turned to her, excitement bubbling up inside her core. “That’s just it. I Know now. I see exactly what to do. And we can do it all from here, from this room.”

  “How is that possible?” Raquel asked.

  Louis replied, “Because Brenda now has the ability to see and affect anywhere. She’s standing in Tiphareth, the Kabbalistic sphere smack in the center of the Tree of Life.”

  And then Lawrence started screaming.

  38

  Caroline

  Once it seemed that Sharon was out of immediate physical danger, they’d rolled her onto her back. She was so out of it that even Joshua’s hands on her shoulders didn’t make her flinch.

  At least she wasn’t screaming anymore.

  “I’m going to try to undo some of those cords.”

  Caroline looked at him, skeptical. “The way you described them, that seems dangerous. Isn’t that like trying to diffuse a bomb without it exploding?”

  She didn’t know much about magic, but that seemed obvious to her.

  Joshua grimaced. His hair finally looked less than perfect, and he’d taken of his fancy waistcoat and rolled up his sleeves.

  “What other choice do we have?” he asked. He got up from his crouch, and moved toward the long, glass counter.

  “What if we call the coven?”

  Joshua rummaged, opening drawers and cabinets, scanning the shelves behind the counter, looking for supplies that would help. He held out a jar of resins.

  “Throw some of that on the charcoal in the incense burner. We need to clear the space. The coven won’t have their phones turned on. In order to interrupt them, we’d need to go in person. It isn’t safe to leave her, for one thing, and for another, I really think we’re running out of time.”

  She did as Joshua asked, shaking amber pebbles onto a glowing piece of charcoal, and inhaled as the scent of frankincense rose around her. Joshua slammed a cupboard door, then moved on to another.

  Then she went back to Sharon’s side. Caroline couldn’t see that he was wrong. Sharon really looked bad. Pale, as though her life was leaching away. And terrifying as the screaming and crashing had been, this whispering and moaning seemed worse. It was as if the woman barely had ahold on her own life anymore.

  Caroline rubbed at her breastbone, feeling the medal underneath her hand.

  Archangel Michael, help us. Show us what to do.

/>   Someone rattled the door, trying to open it. Then a muffled curse and the jingling of keys.

  “It’s Brenda!”

  Oh. Thank whatever Gods or Goddesses had figured out they needed her. And thank the angels, too.

  The door opened and Brenda, Raquel, and Alejandro burst in.

  “Are you all okay?” Brenda asked. “I was just about to deal with the cords, when Lawrence started screaming, and the angel showed me what was happening here.”

  The coven members crowded around Sharon and Caroline.

  “Thank the Gods,” Joshua said, and joined them. “She burst in, screaming that she was on fire, crashed into Rafe and the display, and ended up like this.”

  “Rafe?” Alejandro asked, looking at Caroline.

  “Yeah. We sent him away.”

  “How the fuck does he keep finding you?” Alejandro looked ready to spit.

  “He saw my car. And besides, this is the neighborhood where he grabbed me before. It makes sense he would come back here.”

  “Did he hurt you?” That was Brenda’s voice. And Brenda’s scent, right next to her, arms reaching around Caroline, her warmth at Caroline’s back.

  “No. He can’t. Not anymore.”

  Brenda gave her a tight squeeze before letting go.

  “We need to deal with Sharon now.”

  “What are you going to do?” Caroline asked.

  Brenda’s eyes swept up and down Sharon, scanning her. Raquel held her hands around Sharon’s head, doing something that seemed like it was helping. The skin on her face looked less waxy than it had five minutes before.

  “Raquel?” Brenda asked.