Upside Down In Love

by Dominique Thomas

  AZ better known as Azariah was Normani’s highschool sweetheart. They’d dated from ten to twelfth grade and broke up before he left for college. What drew Normani and Billie so close together was that their backgrounds with Azariah and Dreux was similar. They had both fallen for men that was once their best friends. Only difference was Billie now had her man back while Normani was stuck between her daughters’ father and her ex-boyfriend.

  “Aww shit. My boy back and he coming for his girls huh?”

  Normani waved off Billie while cheesing.

  “He hasn’t called me yet. I saw him post on IG that he was home for good and he was at his new building. He was looking good too. Like really fucking good Billie and I felt guilty. I still love Tru. I’m still in love with Tru.”

  Billie looked over at Normani and smiled at her.

  “Then why the talk of Azariah? You know your mom once told me that a lonely heart would feed off anything. Are you fawning over your ex because of Tru once again pushing you to the side or is it because you genuinely miss him?” Billie asked.

  Normani stared at a pretty collared shirt as she shrugged.

  “A little of both. I never had sex with Azariah so I do shamefully fantasize about what that would be like, but it also has a lot to do with Tru. He’s all over the place with me. Atfirst I could keep up, but his intermittent behavior is too much now. Somethings shifting with us and it scares me,” Normani revealed to her.

  Billie leaned towards Normani and pulled on her straight strand of silky black hair that hung to her breast.

  “I think you’re shifting sis. Little sis is growing up and seeing that the shit she put up with before isn’t what she wants to put up with now. Embrace it,” Billie told her as her friend and boutique owner Mickey walked over.

  “Looking good Billie! That’s why I need you for my new shoot and who is this girl over here looking like my twin,” Mickey said walking up.

  Billie laughed and exchanged quick hugs with Mickey before looking at Normani. It was then that she saw Normani and Mickey did favor one another. They were both chocolate toned women with high cheek bones and wide bright smiles. However, when it came to the bodies they differed. Normani was slim thick while Mickey was plain old thick. The kind of thickness that only food or genes could give you.

  “This is my best friends’ sister Normani who is also like my little sister,” Billie replied.

  Normani smiled as she looked at Mickey.

  “It’s so nice to meet you! I see you online all the time and your baby daddy is fine as hell…” Normani stopped talking and covered her mouth. Mickey laughed as Normani shook her head. “I didn’t mean that in a disrespectful kind of way, I just saw him on your page a few times. He knows my man,” she explained.

  Mickey waved her off and Billie admired how cute Mickey was looking in her simple get up of jeans and a white linen top. Mickey’s hair was in a natural puff ball as curls billowed out the top of her band. Her skin held a glow to it as she looked at Billie and Normani.

  “Easton knows everybody with his mean ass. I love your outfit and glasses. Who styles you?” Mickey asked Normani.

  Normani shook her head.

  “Me,” she replied making Mickey and Billie laughed lightly.

  “I love it, you’re so fine its insane. Just like our Billie over here. I would love for you two, to do a few ad’s for me. Would you all be down?” Mickey asked looking between Billie and Normani.

  Normani shook her head while Billie smiled widely.

  “I’d love too,” Billie told her friend.

  “I can’t but thanks for the offer,” Normani said quietly.

  Mickey nodded.

  “It’s cool and Billie I’ll hit you up in a few days with the details. I have to go pick up my son so I will see you all later,” Mickey said before walking away.

  Billie watched her friend walk off before glancing over at Normani.

  “That could have been a check for you. Why did you turn it down?”

  Normani sighed. She cleared her throat as she looked Billie’s way.

  “The camera is for you, but I’m cool on all that plus I wouldn’t want my big ass glasses and colorful clothes on display like that. Let’s check out so we can go,” she replied and walked off.

  Billie shook her head as she watched Normani walk up to the counter with her cart full of clothing. For Normani to be as smart as she was, she sometimes lacked common sense. She was gorgeous with a bomb ass unique style. Billie hated that she didn’t see that about herself.

  After spending $2000 at Allure Boutique, Billie took Normani home and headed to Malachi’s house. Her anxiousness to see her son set her nerves on fire as she pulled into Malachi’s driveway. Actually, his mother’s driveway since he didn’t want to move from his mothers’ home.

  Billie shut off her car and called Malachi. One of the rules he set in place for her to see Kawan was that she had to let him know the minute she pulled up. Billie thought it was silly but to stay on his good side she was willing to do whatever she had to.

  “You here?” Malachi’s deep agitated voice asked as he took the call.

  Billie rolled her eyes as she stared out of the window at the two-story brick home.

  “Yes, I told you I would call when I was outside. Is he up?”

  “Aye! Don’t call with all that fucking attitude. You need to get through me to see him. I’m not at home right now but my mom is. Just ring the doorbell and send me a pic of you two together. Since he stays with me, he be wanting to see your face sometimes and shit,” Malachi griped before ending the call.

  Billie’s brows bunched together as she grabbed her bag and exited her car.

  “Old dumb ass nigga,” she muttered hiking up the walkway.

  Before Billie could walk up the steps the front door opened, and her son Kawan rushed out of the home smiling. Billie met him halfway and picked him up. Kawan laughed heartily and she playfully tossed him into the air.

  “That boy know he loves his momma,” Malachi’s mother Cindy said stepping onto the porch.

  Billie nodded as she kissed her son all over his mocha shaded face.

  “And I love him too. How you doing Ms. Cindy?”

  Cindy smiled while smoothing out her jet-black shoulder length hair.

  “Good and you know to call me momma, girl.”

  Billie nodded choosing not to respond. Cindy liked to play both sides of the fence and because of that Billie handled her ass with a long-handled spoon.

  “Come in, come in. Let’s catch up,” Cindy insisted before going back into the house.

  Billie sat her son down and grabbed his bags from her trunk before walking with him into the home. Like always the two-story house reeked of cigarettes and cheap perfume. Billie’s nose wrinkled in disgust as she led her son to the living room.

  This bitch smoke so much she gone give my son lung problems.

  “Now what’s been up Billie? You didn’t come to my party last month,” Cindy said pulling out a small bottle of wine.

  She sipped from the bottle and Billie stared at the drink briefly before handing her son the toys from the bags. One of the things Billie agreed to do was provide weekly for Kawan. It wasn’t court ordered but it was a request from Malachi. Billie bought Kawan’s clothing and whatever else he needed and did it happily. She felt that Malachi should be buying him things as well but because her son was living with him, she didn’t put up a fight.

  Billie’s only goal was to get her child back.

  “I was sick, and Malachi didn’t want me to come,” she replied truthfully.

  Cindy frowned as she finished off her wine. Billie pocketed the receipt from the items she’d bought, and Kawan sat in the middle of the family room in toy land.

  “He’s such a loser girl. Don’t act like shit but his sorry ass, lying ass, cheating ass daddy. All he does is hang out with his boys and beg his cousins to hang with him. You know they see him as a child, baby. Hell, he’s the only one of them that’s
not doing anything worth speaking about with his life. Well him and Donny. He makes a little change at his factory job but it’s nothing compared to Deidra’s youngest boy. I keep telling him to do something with himself so I can rub it in my sister’s face. I can’t stand her,” Cindy said and laughed to herself.

  Billie offered her a tight-lipped smile and stared back down at her son. She noticed his unkept fade, dirty attire and frowned. On top of buying Kawan clothing and toys she also sent Malachi money weekly. Money that really came from her man so she couldn’t understand why her son was looking like one of the fucking lost boys at the moment.

  “Ms. Cindy when was the last time he took him to get his hair cut?”

  Cindy sat back in her recliner and sighed. She passed gas before grabbing the cable remote.

  “Chile don’t get me to lying. I told you Malachi—”

  “Malachi what?”

  His voice always made her stomach knot up. She wasn’t afraid of him, but she was worried of the things he could do to her when it came to Kawan. Billie glanced back at her ex-friend because he’d never been her man and she sighed. He was the one man that followed her around like a lost puppy for years.

  The one man that was her shoulder to cry on. One sad drunken night while she’d retreated to Malachi’s home to complain about Dreux and how much she missed him sex happened. Billie was still fuzzy as to how because she couldn’t even remember the act, but it did occur. Kawan was proof of that and it had only been once. Billie never slept with Malachi again but let him tell it they had a loving relationship. She was convinced that he was partially crazy. He had to because of the lies he constantly made up about her.

  “About why you haven’t gotten his hair cut,” Billie replied still staring up at him.

  She made sure to speak it nicely however the frown marring Malachi’s chunky face told her he was pissed. She watched him walk his 5’9 frame into the family room and Billie assessed his looks. Whereas Kawan wore old dirty threads Malachi was fresh as fuck from head to toe. Robin Jeans shorts with a white crew neck and new Jordan’s was his get up. He also sported a fresh taper along with a sparkly chain. Billie swallowed hard as she stared at him.

  “Your haircut is nice,” she noted quietly.

  Cindy snickered until Malachi glared over at her. He’d picked up weight Billie realized, and she guessed that he was close to 250 pounds maybe more. The look wasn’t becoming of him.

  “I’m taking him in the morning. I been working all damn week. I had to do that so he could eat. While you been doing what? Sitting on ya ass,” he snapped.

  Cindy slowly stood and quietly exited the living room. Billie’s eyes ventured down to her son and she watched him play with his new toys. Her leg bounced as she stared back up at Malachi.

  “I can get him during the week Malachi. That’s not an issue for me.”

  Malachi quickly shook his head.

  “Hell no! And nearly kill him again? You must be fucking crazy. I know you on this brand-new Billie shit, but I see through it, ma. You still a lush,” he quipped before chuckling.

  Billie stood and went over to her son. She kissed his forehead and whispered words of love into his ear. As she looked over at Malachi she frowned.

  “The judge will see what I’ve done, and I will be granted days with him. Visitations that I won’t have to go through you to handle because it’ll be set by the judge. I’m showing you that I changed. It’s not right for you to behave this way towards me and please watch your language around him,” Billie said calmly.

  Malachi’s jaw twitched as he took a step towards Billie.

  “Watch my language? After what you did, me cussing not gone fucking hurt him. The judge might grant you visitation but that’s where it’s gone stop. I’m still working and supporting him. They won’t take him away from me,” Malachi said arrogantly.

  Billie nodded. Her eyes took in the cluttered family room and a deep ache filled her belly. She wanted her son with her now. Malachi and his mother was toxic. They meant her child no good and could only show him negative things to do. Hell, they would only show him what they knew which wasn’t much.

  “We’ll have to see about that Malachi,” she replied.

  “Take your wanna be a momma ass on, man. New acting ass. You ain’t changed. You still a partying ass broad that only thinks of herself. Too selfish to even be with me so that we can be a family. You aint shit,” Malachi grumbled with angry eyes.

  As she walked away Malachi chuckled darkly. Billie quickened her steps so that he wouldn’t see her cry. She’d already shed so many tears but what she refused to do was allow for Malachi to pull any more of them up out of her.

  The next day Billie sat inside of Allure Boutique talking with her good friend Mickey. She hadn’t expected to be back so soon but was planning on meeting up with Reese and figured the boutique was a nice place to do it. As she waited on Reese to show up, she caught up with her girl. Billie and Mickey had many things in common along with the fact that they both didn’t have custody of their kids.

  “How is your son doing? I miss his little handsome butt,” Billie noted.

  Mickey smiled as she wiped down her glass jewelry case.

  “He’s good. Easton has him out of town visiting people that were related to his foster mom. They should be back in town later today. How is Kawan?”

  Billie thought of her son and sighed. Her talk with Malachi hung heavy on her heart as she replayed his hateful words. He was simply a shitty ass person because it seemed he only wanted her to be doing bad.

  “He’s good. I’m counting down the time for me to get some days with him. I go to court in a month and I’m ready. Malachi isn’t shit Mickey. I send over money, I buy clothes and his fat ass can’t even take my baby to get his damn haircut. I’m so tired of dealing with him. You have it so good with Easton. He practically lets EJ live with you although he has full custody of him,” Billie replied.

  Mickey nodded. She sat her cleaning items down and peered at Billie intently. She cleared her throat as she stared Billie’s way.

  “I am lucky in terms of that but don’t get it confused I want my son back as well. Its just things are delicate between Easton and myself. I feel guilty much like you do. Just the thought of taking him to court makes my head spin. I’m not prepared either to bring up such sad emotions. When I was lost to the world those were the worst days of my life. I’m happy now but life could be better.” Mickey stopped talking and smiled sweetly at Billie. “Like much fucking better but for the moment I’m content.”

  Billie nodded understanding completely where Mickey was coming from.

  “You still love him Mickaela?” she asked calling Mickey out by her government.

  Mickey blushed as she looked away from Billie.

  “With every breath in my body Billie,” she said in a tone laced with yearning and pain.

  Billie pulled her friend into a hug as Reese walked up.

  “I love this boutique. I always wanted to come here,” Reese gushed as Mickey pulled away from Billie.

  Mickey discreetly wiped her eyes and shot Reese a warm smile.

  “Hi and excuse me ladies,” Mickey said before walking off.

  Billie looked Reese over and smiled. Like before Reese looked beautiful with a youthful glow that only young age could give you.

  “How old are you?”

  “Nineteen but I feel like I’m fifty,” Reese replied.

  Billie nodded knowing the feeling. When life was hard it had a way of making you feel much older than what you were. Billie cleared her throat as she looked over the beautiful young woman.

  “How did you start drinking?”

  Reese licked her lips. She fidgeted with the hem of her shirt as she stared up at Billie.

  “I fell into the college life. Party after party and before I knew it, I was hooked. I was drinking just to get through the day. I loved the escape that it brought me. College was hard for me. I’m in no way putting this on my family but they ro
de me hard as well. Hell, they still do, and, in their eyes, I am expected to be perfect. I’m the girl that can do no wrong when no one can live up to that standard. I’m not Jesus, I sin but they seem to think otherwise,” she responded.

  Billie thought back on her wild years and she empathized with Reese. Their stories were similar in ways.

  “Well I started drinking when I was fifteen. I have been modeling since I was a baby. My mom always said that my baby pictures from the hospital was so nice that everyone wanted a copy. It was like I was born to do it. Once I became a teenager, I realized that a lot of the people I modeled with were getting high and always drinking. Honestly, I fell victim to it out of peer pressure and young age. I was left alone because they trusted me to work but I was also a kid. I needed them there and because my family wasn’t it left me to make adult decisions that my immature mind wasn’t capable of making. My story ended badly, however. I crashed my car with my son in and ended up losing custody of him. When I woke up in that hospital, I knew that liquor wasn’t for me. I knew that it was my downfall and at that moment I chose to walk away. Do you need a wakeup call like mine to let it go?” Billie asked.

  Reese’s eyes narrowed as she shook her head.

  “I’ve already let it go.”

  Billie smiled. She grabbed a top that she knew would look cute with her fitted jeans and she glanced over at Reese.

  “You’ve been drinking today but you let it go? I can smell it on you but its fine. Like you said we are all sinners. The thing is you can’t acknowledge you have a problem then keep doing it. I’m going to sponsor you Reese but only if you want to change.”

  Reese’s shoulders sagged as she looked away from Billie.

  “I am. I needed a drink earlier to deal with my family, but I swear I’m done now. You can even test me.”

  Billie rubbed her arm to soothe her mind.

  “I’m not your P.O. I simply want to be your friend and listening ear. I’m always available to talk and hangout. I want to help you in any way that I can,” Billie said sincerely, and Reese looked back to her.

  Reese’s eyes glazed over as she slowly nodded.