Upside Down In Love

by Dominique Thomas

“I’m trying you know. I’m trying to give my baby what I had but he’s making it damn near impossible,” she mumbled heading for the bathroom.

  Normani kicked off her heels in the process and as she reached the bathroom her eyes ventured over to Tru’s closet. Normani made a quick detour and went into his haven. Her eyes roamed around the large space as her heart pumped fast. She stared at his clothes, shoes, and jewelry before glancing back at his sneakers. They had to be worth at least half a million dollars.

  A quick thought flashed through her mind and she shook it off.

  “Nah, I can’t Left Eye my own house,” she mumbled.

  Normani exited the closet and grabbed her house phone. She sat at the edge of her bed and called the one person that she knew would put her mind at ease. The one person that she hadn’t spoken to in months because Tru always pitched a fit whenever they spoke. However tonight it was fuck him and how he felt. Shit he was showing her that she wasn’t number one to him and she was ready to show him the same.

  “Damn you calling a nigga from the landline and shit. You like the only person I know with a damn house phone. You good? Or wait is this my nigga Tru?” Azariah asked and chuckled.

  Normani smiled to herself as her tears slipped from her eyes. She hated that her first time speaking back to him had to be in such a way.

  “Whatever,” she breathed into the phone quietly. “Your home for good yet you didn’t call me?”

  Azariah sighed. The music in his background was lowered as he breathed into the phone.

  “Look Tru be on that shit that I can’t fuck with. Nigga calling my phone with dry ass threats and shit, so I had to fall back. You know me Normani. I don’t do no talking. I think cause I actually gave a fuck about my life and went to college that the nigga think I’m soft. You need to tell your guy bout me though. I know niggas that will air his ass out and I’m one of them. I just choose to be more than what the media says I am. It aint my fault his dumb ass can’t do shit but play some fucking music off a laptop,” Azariah replied.

  Normani held in her laugh as she shook her head. She knew that Azariah was and would always be in his feelings about her being with Tru. She didn’t regret it because Tru was her man and the father of her daughter, but she did also miss Azariah.

  She actually missed the shit out of him.

  “Calm down killa. Tru knows who your people is and how your family gets down. He is just worried about me and my feelings for you.”

  Azariah cleared his throat.

  “What fucking feelings would that be? You been his woman since the nigga holla’d at you. Been said fuck me,” he griped.

  Normani sighed. She closed her eyes as her mind raced with thoughts of Azariah.

  “I will always love you and you know that,” she admitted quietly.

  Azariah sucked his teeth.

  “Let’s not even go there. What’s up? You coming to see my new spot tomorrow?” he asked changing the subject.

  Normani sighed. She too wanted to switch gears in the conversation.

  “Of course, I am. Me and River we’ll be there with bells on,” she joked.

  Azariah chuckled.

  “I see your jokes still corny as hell. Why you up this late anyway? We all know your boring ass go to bed at eight.”

  Normani smiled. He knew her so well.

  “Tru stood me up. He said that we were going out and he never came back home,” she admitted quietly.

  For several minutes they sat on the phone in silence until Azariah cleared his throat.

  “I never met anybody as beautiful and smart as you. You know how you like to read all them stories and shit? Books about love and the nigga acting up?” he asked.

  Normani licked her lips as her mind grew fuzzy. Her sleepiness was kicking in.

  “Yeah,” she said quietly.

  “Just imagine your life being like a book. Let’s say right now you in a bad chapter so what you gotta do is end it. Close out that chapter and go to a new one. I don’t gotta spell this shit out for you ma. If the nigga not making you happy then find one that will and I’ma tell you like this. You won’t have to look far. He could be right infront of you and shit and you didn’t even know it. I’ma send over my address and I wanna see your beautiful ass bright and fucking early. Have a goodnight sexy,” he replied before ending the call.

  “You too,” she murmured although he’d already hung up.

  Normani sat her phone down and rolled onto her side. Her eyes peered at her doorway and she blinked when she spotted Tru standing in it. He walked in slowly looking as drunk as she felt.

  “Didn’t I say not to call that nigga no more?” he asked slowly.

  Normani closed her eyes and licked her lips.

  “What I remember most about my daddy was how good of a man he was. He loved my momma the right way. The kind of way that women dream about you know? I’m sure they had quarrels, but we never saw it. He was good to her and to us. I want that for River. I want her to have the life that I did and better. I can’t do it by myself though and you’re showing me that you don’t want that. Now I have to ask myself when will I accept it?”

  The bed dipped and Tru’s large hand roamed over her small behind. The marijuana and liquor seeped from his pores as he leaned down and kissed her arm.

  “Baby I’m sorry. I started drinking and lost track of time. The good thing is I was just picked up to tour with them Luca Gang niggas, so you know that’s a big pay day for us. I know life is hectic for me right now, but I will do better. Don’t give up on me,” he pleaded quietly.

  Normani felt him take off her shoes before tugging down her underwear. Tru went to unzip her dress and she shook her head.

  “Don’t. You don’t get to stand me up again, then get some pussy. Pussy like mine is reserved for the nigga that comes home on time. Take your perfidious ass on somewhere.”

  Tru chuckled while tugging at the dress zipper once more and Normani abruptly sat up. She shoved him as hard as she could while glaring at him.

  “Aye! Calm down. I said I lost track of time and I did. What I say about saying big ass words like that? Stop doing that shit. Got a nigga not knowing what the fuck you saying in this bitch. I aint got time to be pulling up the dictionary. Now come here, ma. Let me make it up to you,” he told her.

  Normani’s chest heaved up and down as she glared at Tru. Who was this man? Or had he been the same all along and she was just now seeing him for the piece of shit that he truly was?

  “You must really take me for some kind of imbecile. I mean with the way I’ve submitted to you, I wouldn’t even hold it against you at this point. You keep hurting me and you want me to take it…” Normani shook her head as her words made her more emotional. “For years I did take it because I loved you. Because I felt so honored to just be with you but I’m over it now. And I want you to really listen to me Tru when I say that I am done taking it. Act up again and I’m done. I’m not fighting you. I’m not ruining your clothes or even messing up your cars. I’m just leaving and I’m not turning back,” she warned him while staring into his eyes.

  Tru glared at Normani for a few seconds as she stared his way. His frustration with her words showed on his handsome mug.

  “I said I was sorry. Either take the apology or not but don’t start with that done talking shit. You not leaving and neither is River. Take your ass to sleep before you piss me the fuck off in this bitch,” he griped before falling back on the bed.

  Normani laughed to keep from crying. More and more he was disappointing her. Here she was crying out for him to love her right, do right by her and he still wasn’t hearing her.

  Her shoulders sagged as she realized that breaking up her family was a real possibility.

  “I’ma piss you off huh? Well Tru I’ve been pissed the fuck off. I’m tired of your disrespectful ways. If you think I’m playing, try me.”

  Silence followed her words and seconds later Tru’s soft snore flowed through the bedroom. Normani’s heart a
ched at his actions. He was insistent on taking shit after shit on her. Instead of grabbing the pricey lamp and busting his fucking head open with it she instead stood up. With her head high and her heart breaking she exited the bedroom.

  Tru was the kind of man that only reacted to actions. Her words did nothing for him, but she was cool with that. He could play big nigga all he wanted and allow for his foolishness to push her away. Normani loved him so very much but like a dog she could only take being knocked down so many times before she reacted.

  This time it wouldn’t be with petty things. She would leave and, on her father’s, precious name she vowed to herself that she wouldn’t dare go back.

  “We just received your transcripts from your old school, and we are incredibly pleased to have you. A software engineering degree is right around the corner for you Ms. Royale. Of course, you know that you can always transfer to a university before you graduate. I’m not supposed to encourage it, but it is a good look to have a bigger name on your degree,” the admissions counselor informed her.

  Normani nodded. She held onto her sleeping daughter tightly as she stared at the brown skinned woman.

  “Yes, I know. I’ve already given up the money for the first semester,” Normani told her.

  The counselor smiled.

  “Yes, we received that as well. Your schedule has been emailed over to you and if you feel boggled down with anything there is counselors on staff that can help. Just let us know. Welcome to Oakland Community College,” she said smiling brightly.

  Pride coursed through Normani as she nodded. The last few days had been hard on her but what she did do was make a plan for herself. A plan for her own life because placing all of her eggs into Tru’s basket just didn’t make sense any longer.

  “I’m pleased to be here,” Normani revealed before they both stood up.

  Normani took her paperwork from the counselor and exited the school. After leaving out of the community college Normani decided to stop by Azariah’s upscale condo that was located in Novi. He’d been calling her nonstop to see why she hadn’t come by but with Tru on her back she hadn’t been able to get away. Tru was now back at work doing two shows out of town and she was relieved. Normani wanted some alone time with her friend so they could catch up.

  Anxiously she pulled through the large steel gates after putting his code in and parked next to his matte black Land Rover.

  Tru called her phone as she took her seatbelt off.

  Normani wanted to send his call to voicemail but the love she still had for him wouldn’t allow for her to do that. She answered the call while rolling her eyes.

  “What?”

  Tru breathed into the phone as loud music played in the background.

  “It’s nice to speak to you too. I’ll be back home in a few days. I thought we could hit up Cali for the weekend. I know how much you love to shop out there. Maybe get that bag you wanted from Louis. That $20,000 piece,” he replied.

  Normani sat back in her seat. She watched Azariah open his door and stare at her as she talked on the phone.

  “We’ll see,” she murmured quietly.

  Before she would have been excited at the thought of going out of town. With Tru being so fickle she now told herself to relax. If they went to Cali they did, if they didn’t then that was cool as well.

  “What River doing?” he asked.

  Normani rolled her eyes once more.

  “Sleeping.”

  Tru sighed.

  “You still mad? It’s been a few days and I said I was sorry baby. I stayed home the rest of the time I was in town. What else you want me to do?” he asked.

  Normani watched Azariah step outside in his black two-piece suit with his black shirt that was unbuttoned at the collar and her tongue grew heavy. Her attention went back to the phone call she was on and she groaned. What she didn’t want to do was tell her man how to treat her. Things like that should have come natural for him.

  “I’m fine. Do what you been doing Tru. I’m meeting up with Azariah. I’ll call you back.”

  Normani knew it was petty but a small part of her loved to throw Azariah in Tru’s face. Daily she dealt with Tru’s groupies stalking him on social media. It felt good to let him know that she could have people chasing after her the same way.

  Tru chuckled.

  “Oh, I get it. You flexing on me cause you bout to see that nigga? I thought we discussed you hanging with him? I really don’t want his bitch ass around my daughter either,” Tru complained.

  At least someone is.

  “We’re friends and you know that. He’s back home and I wanted to hang out with him. Nothing more.”

  “Fuck that nothing more bullshit! If I said don’t call or see that nigga then I expect you to fucking listen to me! What type of games you playing with me, Normani?” he asked angrily.

  Normani cleared her throat. She watched Azariah advance on her car and his masculine beauty took all her fucking attention. She immediately regretted picking up Tru’s call.

  “It’s too early to be bickering with you about inconsequential bullshit. Have fun in Miami and we’ll see you when you get home. I have to go,” Normani said and ended the call.

  Tru hit her line repeatedly as she grabbed her daughter and exited her car.

  “Watch out, ma. I got her,” Azariah said walking up.

  Normani stepped to the side and allowed for him to pick her sleeping daughter up. She grabbed River’s diaper bag and shut the car door before following him into his condo.

  “She getting big as hell. I’m missing all this shit with her fucking round with you and that nigga Tru,” Azariah grumbled laying River down onto his brown suede and leather sofa.

  Normani ignored his remarks as she scanned his new living quarters. Azariah’s placed wreaked of cheap perfume and it killed her. Normani had no grounds to be upset still she was. She slipped off her black and white Vans and cleared her throat.

  “Who you have over here that wears Dollar Tree perfume? Let me find out you slumming it up AZ,” she half joked.

  Azariah chuckled as he sat down on his loveseat. He grabbed the remote and placed his ochre hued eyes on her. Azariah had the kind of sexiness that should have been bottled up. Smooth peanut butter brown skin with detailed tattoos that graced his neck, chest and back. Even a few going across the sides of his stomach. He bore a square shaped face with a chiseled jaw and full lips. Azariah rocked his hair in a temple fade and even while he wore his suits, he kept a diamond in his left ear.

  “You,” he jested, and she flipped him off while smirking.

  Azariah nodded with his eyes pinned to her.

  “Keep doing that and I’ma see if you really bout that life,” he said with all playfulness gone from his deep tone.

  Normani and Azariah shared an intense staring match until she looked away. He chuckled as she took a seat beside him.

  “Like I thought. What’s been up?” he asked unbuttoning his shirt.

  Normani watched Azariah closely as he took off his suit jacket then his shirt. He relaxed on the sofa and she couldn’t help but to gaze at his tatted chest. Her mouth watered as she envisioned herself licking on his nipples.

  “What I just tell you bout that shit? Don’t come over here staring at a nigga unless you ready for me. How you doing? What happened to you coming over the other day?”

  Normani took one last glance at his ripped body before clearing her throat.

  “Tru overheard us talking that night and was tripping on me hard for a few days. I wasn’t in the mood to keep arguing with him, so I waited for him to leave town before coming by. I did something significant today however.”

  Azariah nodded. His hand found Normani’s thigh and gently he massaged it while staring at her.

  “What’s that?” he asked lowly. He held his hand up in the air and leaned towards Normani. Azariah grabbed her bag and set it on her lap. “Put your glasses on, ma. I can see your ass squinting and shit. Gone fuck around and start having
migraines from doing that. It’s not related to having hemicrania, but you know your pops suffered from them. Just wear the fucking glasses,” he complained.

  Normani waved Azariah off as she retrieved her glasses from her bag. As she pulled them out of the case Azariah started to rub on her leg again.

  “Now what did you do today besides finally coming to see me?” he asked.

  Normani smiled. He was moody with her, but she didn’t mind. With Azariah she never had to question his intentions. His actions always came from a place of love.

  “I enrolled in school again. Nothing major just OCC but I’m thrilled to be going back. I have to work something out with River, but I will figure it out. I plan on getting both degrees in half the time. I also hooked back up with one of my friends from highschool and she’s helping me put together a program for River and babies like her. I basically show parents how to set up their kids for early education,” she talked excitedly.

  Azariah stopped rubbing her leg to grin at her. He caught Normani off guard when he pulled her into his arms.

  “I haven’t heard you sound excited like this in a while now. Congrats ma,” he said into her neck.

  Normani closed her eyes as her thoughts went from school to Azariah. She swallowed hard as his strong hands began to caress her back.

  “And I missed you. I missed your pretty ass a lot. Did you miss me?” he asked.

  His tone was low and as he pulled back to stare into her eyes, he smirked at her. Azariah adjusted her frames and shook his head.

  “These fucking glasses look sexy as fuck on you. Close your eyes,” he told her.

  Normani cleared her throat.

  “Why?” she asked in a breathy tone.

  Azariah chuckled.

  “Cause I wanna kiss you and you acting scary as shit so I thought you closing your eyes would make it better. Now can you please close your eyes for me so I can kiss on them soft ass lips you got?”

  Normani stared at Azariah for a few moments before doing as he’d instructed. She counted the seconds in her head and when she got to ten his thick lips was pressing against her’s. Azariah’s hand fondled her small breast as his tongue slid into her mouth.