Galusha the Magnificent

by Joseph Crosby Lincoln

  CHAPTER XXI

  Galusha did not answer. He regarded his relative vacantly, opened hismouth, closed it, sighed and turned toward the dining room. By this timemost of the congregation were already in the yard and, as Cabot andhis companion emerged into the dripping blackness of out-of-doors, fromvarious parts of that blackness came the clatter of tongues and thesound of fervent ejaculations and expressions of amazement.

  "Well! WELL! Don't talk to ME! If this don't beat all ever _I_ see!...""I should say it did! I was just sayin' to Sarah B., s' I, 'My soul andbody,' s' I, 'if this ain't--'"... "And what do you s'pose made him--""And when they turned up them lights and I see him standin' therejammin' her down into that chair and wavin' that big fist of his overtop her head, thinks I, 'Good-NIGHT! He's goin' to hammer her right downthrough into the cellar, don't know's he ain't!'"

  These were a few fragments which Cousin Gussie caught as they pushedtheir way to the gate. In one spot where a beam of light from the windowfaintly illuminated the wet, he glimpsed a flowered and fruited hatpicturesquely draped over its wearer's ear while from beneath itslopsided elegance a tearful voice was heard hysterically demanding tobe taken home. "Take me home, 'Phelia. I--I--I... Oh, take me home!I--I--I've forgot my rubbers and--and I feel's if my hair was comin'off--down, I mean--but--oh, I don't CARE, take me HOME!"

  Galusha, apparently, heard and saw nothing of this. He blunderedstraight on to the gate and thence along the road to the Phipps'cottage. It seemed to Cabot that he found it by instinct, for the fogwas so thick that even the lighted windows could not be seen furtherthan a few yards. But he did find it and, at last, the two men stoodtogether in the little sitting room. Then Cousin Gussie once more laid ahand on his relative's arm.

  "Well, Galusha," he said, again, "what about it?"

  Galusha heaved another sigh. "Yes--ah--yes," he answered."Yes--ah--quite so."

  "Humph! What is quite so? I want to know about that stock of theWellmouth Development Company."

  "Yes.... Yes, certainly, I know."

  "That Captain--um--What's-his-name, the picturesque old lunatic with thewhiskers--Hallett, I mean--made a statement that was, to say the least,surprising. I presume he was crazy. That was the most weird collectionof insanity that I ever saw or heard. Ha, ha! Oh, dear!... Well, nevermind. But what did old Hallett mean by saying he had sold YOU his fourhundred shares of that stock?"

  Galusha closed his eyes. He smiled sadly.

  "He meant that he had--ah--sold them to me," he answered.

  "LOOSH!"

  "Yes."

  "Loosh, are you crazy, too?"

  "Very likely. I often think I may be. Yes, I bought the--ah--stock."

  "You bought the--YOU? Loosh, sit down."

  Mr. Bangs shook his head. "No, Cousin Gussie," he said. "If you don'tmind I--I won't sit down. I shall go to my room soon. I bought CaptainHallett's stock. I bought Miss Phipps', too."

  It was Cabot himself who sat down. He stared, slowly shook his head, andthen uttered a fervent, "Whew!"

  Galusha nodded. "Yes," he observed. "Ah--yes."

  "Loosh, do you know what you are saying? Do you mean that you actuallybought Hallett's four hundred shares and this woman's--?"

  "Miss Phipps is her name. Miss Martha Phipps."

  "Yes, yes, of course. And you bought... Eh? By Jove! Is THAT what youdid with that thirteen thousand dollars?"

  Again Galusha nodded. "Yes," he said.

  Cousin Gussie whistled again. "But why did you do it, Loosh?" he asked,after a moment. "For heaven's sake, WHY?"

  Galusha did not answer immediately. Then he said, slowly: "If--if youdon't mind, Cousin Gussie, I think I should tell HER that first. Thatis, I mean she should--ah--be here when I do tell it.... I--I think Iwill change my mind and sit down and wait until she comes.... Perhaps.you will wait, too--if you don't mind.... And, please--please don'tthink me rude if I do not--ah--talk. I do not feel--ah--conversational.Dear me, no."

  He sat down. Cabot stared at him, crossed his knees, and continued tostare. Occasionally he shook his head, as if the riddle were provingtoo much for him. Galusha did not move. Neither man spoke. The old clockticked off the minutes.

  Primmie came home first. "Miss Martha said to tell you she would be overin a few minutes," she announced. "Cap'n Jeth, he's a-comin' around allright, so Miss Martha and Zach and them think. But, my savin' soul, howhe does hang onto Lulie! Keeps a-sayin' she's all he's got that's trueand honest and--and all that sort of talk. Give me the crawlin' creepsto hear him. And after that seance thing, too! When that everlastin'foghorn bust loose the first time, I cal'lated--"

  Galusha interrupted. "Primmie," he suggested, gravely, "would you--willyou be--ah--kind enough to go into the kitchen?"

  "Hey? Go into the kitchen? Course I will. What do you want in thekitchen, Mr. Bangs?"

  He regarded her solemnly. "I should like to have you there, if you don'tmind," he observed. "This gentleman and I are--we would prefer to bealone. I'm very sorry, but you must excuse me this time and--ah--go."

  "Go? You want me to go out and--and not stay here?"

  "Yes. Yes--ah--quite so, Primmie. Ah--good-night."

  Primmie departed, slamming the door and muttering indignation. Galushasighed once more. Then he relapsed into silence.

  Twenty minutes later Martha herself came in. They heard her enter thedining room, then Primmie's voice in resentful explanation. When MissPhipps did come into the sitting room, she was smiling slightly.

  "Primmie's heart is broken," she observed. "Oh, don't worry, it isn'ta very serious break. She hasn't had so much to talk about for goodnessknows when and yet nobody wants to listen to her. I told her to tellLuce about it, but that didn't seem to soothe her much. Luce is LucyLarcom, Mr. Cabot," she explained. "He is our cat."

  Cousin Gussie, already a much bewildered man, looked even morebewildered, but Martha did not observe his condition. She turned to hiscompanion.

  "Mr. Bangs," she said, "it's all right. Or goin' to be all right, I'msure. Cap'n Jeth is takin' the whole thing a good deal better than I wasafraid there at first. He is dreadfully shaken, poor man, and he seemsto feel as if the last plank had foundered from beneath him, as fatherused to say; but, if it doesn't have any worse effect than that, I shalldeclare the whole business a mercy and a miracle. If it has the effectof curin' him of the Marietta Hoag kind of spiritualism--and it reallylooks like a cure--then it will be worth all the scare it gave us. Atfirst all he would say was that everything was a fraud and a cheat,that his faith had been taken away, there was nothin' left--nothin'. ButLulie, bless her heart, was a brave girl and a dear one. She said, 'I amleft, father. You've got me, you know.' And he turned to her and clungto her as if she was his only real sheet anchor. As, of course, she is,and would have been always if he hadn't gone adrift after Little CherryBlossom and such rubbish. Mr. Bangs, I--"

  She paused. She looked first at Galusha and then at the Boston banker.Her tone changed.

  "Why, what is it?" she asked, quickly. "What is the matter?... Mr.Bangs--"

  Galusha had risen when she entered. He was pale, but resolute.

  "Miss Phipps," he began, "I--I have been waiting to--to say something toyou. I--ah--yes, to say something. Yes, Miss Phipps."

  It was the first time he had addressed her as "Miss Phipps" for manymonths. He had, ever since she granted him permission and urged him todrop formality, addressed her as Miss Martha and seemed to take pridein that permission and to consider it an honor. Now the very fact of hisreturning to the old manner was, although she did not yet realize it, anindication that he considered his right to her friendship forfeited.

  "Miss Phipps," he began once more, "I--I wish to make a confession, ahumiliating confession. I shall not ask you to forgive me. I realizethat what I have done is quite beyond pardon."

  He stopped again; the road was a hard one to travel. Martha gazed athim, aghast and uncomprehending. Cabot, understanding but little more,shrugged his shoulders.

  "For heaven'
s sake, old man," he exclaimed, "don't speak like that! Youhaven't committed murder, have you?"

  Galusha did not answer nor heed him. It was to Martha Phipps he spokeand at her that he looked, as a guilty man in the prisoners' dock mightregard the judge about to pronounce his death sentence.

  "Miss Phipps," he began, for the third time, "I have deceived you. I--Ihave lied to you, not only once but--ah--ah--a great many times. I amquite unworthy of your respect--ah, quite."

  Martha's face expressed many things, absolute amazement predominant.

  "Why--why, Mr. Bangs!" she gasped. "What--"

  "Pardon me," went on Galusha. "I was about to explain. I--I will try tomake the explanation brief. It is--ah--very painful to me to make andwill be, I fear, as painful for you to hear. Miss Phipps, when I toldyou--or gave you to understand--that my cousin here, or his firm, Cabot,Bancroft and Cabot, bought that--ah--Development stock of yours, Ideceived you; I told you a falsehood. They did not buy it.... I boughtit, myself."

  He blurted out the last sentence, after a short but apparent mentalstruggle. Martha's chest heaved, but she said no word. The criminalcontinued:

  "I will not attempt at this time to tell you how I was--ah--forced intobuying it," he said; "further than to say that I--I had very foolishlyled you to count upon my cousin's buying it and--and felt a certainresponsibility and--a desire not to disappoint you. I--of course,I should have told you the truth, but I did not. I bought the stockmyself."

  Again he paused and still Martha was silent. Cousin Gussie seemed aboutto speak and then to change his mind.

  "Perhaps," went on Galusha, with a pitiful attempt at a smile, "youmight have forgiven me that, although it is doubtful, for you hadexpressly forbidden my lending you money or--or assisting you in anyway, which I was--please believe this--very eager to do. But,after having bought it, I, as I say, deceived you, falsified,prevaricated--excuse me--lied to you, over and over.... Oh, dear me!"he added, in a sudden burst, "I assure you it is unbelievable how manyfalsehoods seemed to be necessary. I lied continually, I did, indeed.

  "Well, that is all," he said. "That is all, I believe.... I--I amvery sorry.... After your extreme kindness to me, it was--I... I thinkperhaps, if you will excuse me, I will go to my room. I am--ah--somewhatagitated. Good-night."

  He was turning away, but Cabot called to him.

  "Here, wait a minute, Loosh," he cried. "There is one thing moreyou haven't told us. Why on earth did you buy Hallett's four hundredshares?"

  Galusha put his hand to his forehead.

  "Oh, yes, yes," he said. "Yes, of course. That was very simple. Iwas--ah--as one may say, coerced by my guilty conscience. CaptainHallett had learned--I don't know precisely how, but it is quiteimmaterial--that Miss Phipps had, through me and to you, Cousin Gussie,as he supposed, sold her shares. He wished me to sell his. I said Icould not. Then he said he should go to your office in Boston and seeyou, or your firm, and sell them himself. I could not allow that, ofcourse. He would have discovered that I had never been there to sellanything at all and--and might have guessed what had actually happened.So I was obliged to buy his stock also and--and pretend that you hadbought it. I lied to him, too, of course. I--I think I have lied toevery one.... I believe that is really all. Good-night."

  "One more thing, Loosh. What did you do with the certificates, Hallett'sand Miss Phipps'? You got them, I suppose."

  "Eh? Yes, oh, yes, I got them. I don't know where they are."

  "WHAT? Don't know where they ARE?"

  "No. I took them to your office, Cousin Gussie. I enclosed them ina large envelope and took them there. I gave them to a personnamed--ah--Taylor, I think that was the name."

  "Taylor? There is no Taylor in our office."

  "It was not Taylor. It may have been Carpenter, although that doesn'tseem exactly right, either. It was the name of some one--ah--a personwho does something to you, you know, like a tailor or a carpenter ora--a butcher--or--"

  "Barbour! Was it Barbour?"

  "Yes, that was it--Barbour. I gave Mr. Barbour the envelope. I don'tknow what he did with it; I told him I preferred not to know.... Pleaseexcuse me. Good-night."

  He turned abruptly and walked from the room. They heard him ascendingthe stairs. For a moment the pair he had left looked at each other insilence. Then Cabot burst into a shout of laughter. He rocked back andforth in his chair and laughed until Martha, who was not laughing, beganto think he might laugh forever.

  "Oh, by Jove, this is funny?" he exclaimed, as soon as he could speak."This is the funniest thing I ever heard of. Excuse the hysterics, MissPhipps, but it certainly is. For the past month Williams and I, throughthis fellow Pulcifer down here, have been working heaven and earth toget the six hundred and fifty shares of that stock we supposed you andHallett owned. And all the time it was locked up in my own safe therein Boston! And to think that old Loosh, of all persons, should have putthis over on us. Ho, ho, ho! Isn't it rich!"

  He roared and rocked for another interval. Still Martha did not speak,nor even smile. She was not looking at him, but at the braided rugbeneath her feet, and he could not see the expression of her face.

  "I may as well explain now," he went on, when this particular laugh wasover, "that my friend Williams is one of the leading hotel men of thiscountry. He owns two very big hotels in Florida and one in the Tennesseemountains. He has for some time been looking for a site on which tobuild another here on the northern coast. He was down this way a whileago and, quite by accident, he discovered this shore property which, hefound out later, was owned by the Wellmouth Development Company. It wasideal, according to his estimate--view, harbor, water privileges,still water and surf bathing, climate--everything. He came to me and wediscussed buying it. Then we discovered that this Development Companyowned it. Fifty thousand dollars, the concern's capitalization, wastoo much to pay. A trust company over here in your next town hadtwelve hundred shares, but we found out that they knew the value of theproperty and, if they learned what we were up to, would hold for afancy price. So, through this chap Pulcifer--we bought HIS five hundredshares--we began buying up the thirteen hundred which would give us acontrolling interest and force the other crowd to do what we wanted. Wepicked up the small holdings easily enough, but we couldn't get yours orHallett's. And for a very good reason, too. Ho, ho, ho! And old Loosh,of all people! Ho, ho!"

  Still Miss Phipps did not laugh, nor did she look at him. "By the way,"he observed, "I presume my--er--relative paid you a fair price for thestock, Miss Phipps?"

  "He paid me twenty dollars a share," she said, quietly.

  "Did he, indeed! Well, that is more than we've paid any one else, exceptPulcifer. We allowed him a commission--a margin--on all he succeeded inbuying.... Humph!... And I suppose Galusha paid old Hallett par, too.But why he should do such a thing is--well, it is beyond me."

  She answered, but still she did not look at him.

  "He told you," she said. "He knew I needed money. I was foolish enoughto let him guess--yes, I told him that I had a hard time to get along.He was interested and he tried to cheer me up by tellin' me he thoughtyou might buy that stock of mine. He couldn't have been more interestedif it had been somethin' of his own. No, not nearly so much; he and hisown interests are the last thing he thinks about, I guess. And then hekept cheerin' me up and pretendin' to be more and more sure you wouldbuy and--and when he found you wouldn't he--but there, he told us thetruth. _I_ understand why he did it, Mr. Cabot."

  The banker shook his head. "Well, I suppose I do, too, in a way," hesaid. "It is because he is Galusha Bangs. Nobody else on earth wouldthink of doing such a thing."

  "No, nobody else would. But thirteen thousand dollars, Mr. Cabot! Why,that's dreadful! It's awful! He must have used every cent he owns, andI didn't suppose he owned any, scarcely. Oh, Mr. Cabot, I must payhim back; I must pay him right away. DO you want to buy that stock hebought? Will you buy it of him, so he can have his money again?"

  She was looking at him now and her voice was shaki
ng with anxiety. Cabotlaughed once more.

  "Delighted, Miss Phipps," he assured her. "That is what I have beentrying to do for a month or more. But don't worry about old Galusha'sgoing broke. He--why, what is it?"

  "Oh, nothin'. I was thinkin' about what he did and--and--"

  "Yes, I know. Isn't it amazing? I have known him all my life, but I'mnever sure how he will fly off the handle next. Of course, I realize youmust think him a perfect jackass, an idiot--"

  "What! Think him WHAT?"

  "An idiot, an imbecile. Nine people out of ten, those who don't know himwell, do consider him just that. Yet he isn't. In some respects he is amighty clever man. In his own line, in this musty-dusty museum businessof his, this Egyptology he is so cracked about, he is really very closeto the top. Geographic societies all over the world have given himmedals; he is--why, if he wished to he could write a string of lettersafter his name a yard long. I believe--hang it, it sounds absurd, butI believe he has been--er--knighted or something like it, in oneheathenish little kingdom. And in Washington there, at the Institute,they swear by him."

  She nodded. "They have just made him a wonderful offer to be the head ofanother expedition," she said.

  "So? Well, I am not surprised. But in most respects, outside of hismummy-chasing, he is an absolute ass. Money? Why, he would give awayevery cent if it occurred to him to do so. HE wouldn't know nor care.And what might become of him afterward he wouldn't care, either. If itwasn't that I watch him and try to keep his money out of his hands, Idon't know what would happen. Kind? Yes, of course. And generous; goodLord! But when it comes to matters of sentiment like--well, like thisstock business for example, he is, as I say, an ass, that's all.... I amtelling you this, Miss Phipps, because I wouldn't wish you to considerold Loosh altogether a fool, but only--"

  He was sitting there, his knee in his hands, gazing blandly at theceiling and, in judicial fashion, summing up his relative's failings andvirtues, when he was interrupted. And the interruption was a startlingone. Martha Phipps sprang to her feet and faced him, her cheeks crimsonand her eyes flashing.

  "Oh, how dare you!" she cried, with fiery indignation. "How CAN you?You sit there and talk about him and--and call him names in that--thatcondescendin' way as if he was dirt under our feet and yet--and yet he'sas far above us as the sky is. Oh, how can you! Don't you see how goodhe is? Don't you SEE how he's sufferin' now, poor soul, and why? You sayhe doesn't care for money; of course he doesn't. If it had cost fiftythousand and he had it, I suppose he'd have used it just the same if hethought it would help--help some friend of his out of trouble. Butwhat is tearin' him to pieces is the idea that he has, as he calls it,cheated ME. That he has lied to Jethro and to me and hasn't been thesame straight, honest--GENTLEMAN he always is. That's all. HE doesn'tgive himself credit for takin' his own money to help other folks with.YOU would, _I_ would, but HE doesn't. He talks as if he'd robbed us,or--or killed somebody or somethin'. He is the best--yes, I think heis the best and finest soul that ever breathed. And you sit thereand--swing your foot and--and patronize--and call him a fool. A FOOL!...I--I mustn't talk any more or--or I'll say somethin' I'll wish Ihadn't.... Good-night, Mr. Cabot."

  She had held her handkerchief tightly crumpled in her hand during thisoutburst. Now she dabbed hastily with it at either eye, turned andhastened into the dining room, closing the door behind her.

  A minute later Primmie came into the room, bearing a lighted lamp.

  "I cal'late now I can dast come in here, can't I?" she observed, withdignity. "Anyhow, I hope so, 'cause Miss Martha sent me. She said I wasto show you where your bedroom was, Mr. Cabot."

  The Boston banker, who had scarcely recovered from the blast launchedat his head by his hostess, rose, still blinking in a dazed fashion, andfollowed the lamp-bearer up the steep and narrow stairs. She opened adoor.

  "Here you be," she said, tartly. "And I hope you'll sleep 'cause I'mprecious sure _I_ sha'n't. All I'll see from now till mornin' is Cap'nJeth gettin' ready to lam that Marietta Hoag one over the top of thehead. My Lord of Isrul! Don't talk to ME!"

  Cabot regarded her with interest. "What is YOUR name?" he inquired.

  "Primrose Cash."

  "Eh? Primrose?"

  "Um-hm. Name of a flower, 'tis. Some folks don't like it, but I do."

  "Primrose!" The visitor slowly shook his head. "Well--er--Primrose," heasked, "is there any other asylum in this vicinity?"

  "Hey? ASYLUM? What--"

  "Never mind. I wondered, that's all. Good-night."

  He took the lamp from her hand and went into his room. The amazedPrimmie heard from behind the door of that room a mighty roar oflaughter, laughter loud and long continued. Martha, in her room, heardit and stirred indignantly. Galusha, in his room, heard it and moaned.

  He wondered how, in all the world, there was any one who, on this nightof misery, could laugh.