Jessie

by Lori Wick

  "I think so," Bri agreed before adding dryly, "and since he's such a frail, weak child, he could barely drag it in here."

  Rylan reached for his son, who was already showing signs of being as large as his father.

  "Did you find a box, Danny?" Rylan asked.

  Danny pointed by way of an answer, and Rylan hugged him close.

  "I have to head over to the church for a little while," he told Bri, Danny still in his arms. "Do you want him to go along?"

  "As a matter of fact, he needs a bath."

  "Do you stink?" Rylan asked the toddler, shouting with laughter when Danny smiled and gave a nod. Rylan wasn't sure the nod had been a real answer to the question, but it was still amusing.

  A few minutes later, Bri and Danny walked Rylan to the front door, and the pastor headed over to the white church building some yards away. The small flock had saved enough to paint it a few years earlier, and it still looked very good.

  Rylan slipped in the door and was headed to the front when he realized he was not alone. A man who had been sitting in the front

  72pew stood to his feet, hat in his hand. Not until he turned did Rylan recognize him.

  "Hello, Seth," Rylan spoke quietly, well remembering him from the mercantile, though many years had passed.

  "Hello, Rylan. I hope it was all right to come inside."

  "Certainly. We leave the door unlocked for that very reason." Rylan put his hand out. "How are you?"

  Seth smiled a little. "I'm doing well at the moment, but then I haven't seen Jessie yet."

  "You're just into town?"

  "The morning train..."

  "...that came in past noon," Rylan finished for him, his mouth quirking a bit. "Have a seat. Tell me why you're here."

  "In town, or in the church?"

  "Both."

  "I guess I came here because I don't want to upset Jessie at work." "She's not expecting you?"

  The other man shook his head no, his eyes on the front of the room.

  "When was the last time you were in touch?" Rylan asked, trying to remember if Jessie had ever told him.

  Seth shook his head in regret but didn't look at the pastor. "I never was," he admitted. "After I left here nearly eight years ago, I never wrote." "Where have you been?"

  "Texas."

  And there it started. For the next two hours the story came out. Rylan inserted a question here and there, but mostly he let Seth talk. Some of what he heard was awful, and some was wonderful. All of it was astounding.

  "I'm not sure how to go over there. I'm not sure how to go to the store," Seth said at last. "It's not just Jessie-I have my daughter to think of too."

  "Daughters," Rylan corrected quietly and watched as the other man grew very, very still.

  73"What is that?" Nine-year-old Hannah asked Jessie as she stared down into the box they'd just opened.

  "It's parts for a clock. Kaleb Heydorn wanted me to order them." "What will he do with them?"

  "His clock must be broken, and he'll use these to fix it. I think it must be hard to run a train station without the correct time."

  Hannah frowned down at the parts again, not remembering when she'd seen hands and gears in the catalog, but before she could ask about that, Clancy, her seven-year-old sister, arrived. She also wanted to know about the contents of the small box on the counter. Jessie explained again before sending Hannah to the train station to let Kaleb know his special order had arrived in the larger box he'd just delivered to her.

  "Mama," Clancy said. She had climbed onto the counter to get closer to her mother. "My tooth hurts."

  "Which one?" Jessie leaned close when Clancy opened her mouth and pointed.

  "Right here" sounded more like "rihh herr," but Jessie still got the point. She peered at the small tooth in the front of Clancy's mouth and then wiggled it with her finger.

  "It's loose," the mother said at last. "It's probably coming out soon."

  "Will it bleed like last time?" Clancy asked, her eyes growing a

  bit.

  "Probably"

  "That's good!" she declared fervently, making her mother laugh.

  The store was quiet just then-even when Hannah came back with a message from the stationmaster-which suited Jessie just fine. She had an order to sort and accounts to work on. In her opinion, it couldn't stay quiet long enough.

  74"Come over to the house, Seth," Rylan eventually invited. "You're welcome to stay with me and my family."

  "Did you get married, Rylan?"

  "Yes, and we have a son."

  "Congratulations."

  "Thank you."

  Rylan heard the sincerity in his voice, but also the quiet. Rylan sympathized. He had sinned many times in his life, and he knew Christ died for each one and that he was forgiven. He believed no less for Seth, but that didn't change the far-reaching consequences of his choices. Rylan believed that God could work a miracle in Jessie's life, but that didn't mean He would. He would go and see Jessie tonight just as he'd told Seth, but his words might not be received all that well. Rylan hoped Jessie would at least agree to see her husband, but even as they entered the house and Rylan introduced Seth to Bri and Danny, he knew the man might be on the train tomorrow and headed back to Texas.

  Seth headed out for a walk while Rylan went to the mercantile. Rylan timed his visit just when Jessie would be closing, even knowing she and the girls might be hungry and tired. He slipped in the front door to find Jessie finishing up with a customer, and even before he could greet her, Clancy had launched herself at him.

  "Pastor Rylan! I have a loose tooth."

  "Show me," Rylan said, having hugged her in return and then hunkered down to her level.

  Clancy distorted her mouth in a way that made Rylan laugh, but he was still able to see the tooth.

  "It might bleed!" she added when he'd had a proper look. "They sometimes do."

  "You must be hearing about the tooth," Jessie said, having come up behind them.

  "I showed Pastor Rylan."

  75Jessie smiled at her daughter and then turned to Rylan. "You just caught us in time, Rylan. What can I get you?"

  "As a matter of fact," he spoke quietly, "I need to speak with you." Jessie's eyes met his for a moment before turning back to Clancy. "Where is Hannah?"

  "Upstairs."

  "All right. You head up too and set the table. I'll be up when I'm done down here. And Clancy," her mother added when the little girl started to turn away, "don't come looking for me. Tell Hannah that you're both to stay put until I get there."

  "Can we eat?" she asked.

  "You may split one slice of bread, but I have to heat the gravy and biscuits. Go on now."

  Rylan watched the little girl obey and then turned to find Jessie putting up the closed sign and locking the door. Once that was done, she wasted no time in coming back to face Rylan.

  "Seth is in town," Rylan did not delay in saying. "He came in on the morning train."

  Jessie stared at him. She knew he was serious. Rylan would never tease about this. But a part of her mind wanted him to smile and laugh and say he was joking.

  "He came to you?" she finally asked.

  "Yes. He didn't want to just show up here during store hours, but he would like to see you."

  Jessie slowly shook her head. It took a moment for her to speak, and when she did she said nothing Rylan expected.

  "You won't believe the irony, Rylan. If you had come and told me this a week ago, I might have told you to send him packing, but I can't do that."

  "What happened a week ago?"

  "My eyes were opened to something that's been going on for years." Jessie looked at the pastor, desperate for him to understand. "I realized for the first time how differently the girls respond to men. When women come in to shop, unless it's someone they're very close to, they

  76don't say much at all, but with men..." Jessie stopped trying to find the words.

  "Last week," she began again slowly, "Clancy went to the V
icks' to play and have dinner. From the moment she got home, it was Mr. Vick did this, and Mr. Vick said that. She talked nonstop until she went to bed. And even today," Jessie's eyes closed as she remembered, "I sent Hannah with a message for Kaleb at the train station. She left without a word. Had I asked her to go to Jeanette's or Patience's, she would have complained, but both girls are drawn to men, and I know it's because they don't have a father."

  "Do they ever ask about him?"

  "Never!" the word seemed to burst from the store owner. "I don't know why. They're both so curious, especially Clancy, but they don't say a word."

  Rylan frowned in thought. He hadn't expected that, but before he could comment, Jessie went on.

  "Did he say what he wanted?"

  "Yes, he did. He wants to move back and start again. Even if you don't want him for a husband, he wants to be a father and help you any way he can."

  "Why now?"

  "He's got good answers to a lot of questions, Jessie, and I think he should be the one to tell you."

  "Did he say where he'd been?"

  "Yes. He told me everything:"

  "And do you think he's telling the truth?"

  Rylan actually smiled. "As a matter of fact, I do. I don't know him anywhere near as well as you do, but I could tell he knows what he did was wrong. He wants to make it right. I can't tell you how shook up he was to learn about Clancy. It really got to him. I hope you'll at least talk to him."

  Jessie stared at nothing for a moment, but when she spoke her voice was thoughtful.

  "I feel like I need some time. If he's going to be around-reallyaround

  77and not just passing through-he can see the girls, but not right now. I need some time."

  "He'll be pleased to hear that you're willing to give him a chance. How much time do you want, Jessie?"

  "A week." Jessie had said the first thing that came to mind but then doubted herself. "Do you think I'm being unfair?"

  "No. If you need that time, I'm sure he'll honor it. Why don't I check back with you in a week?"

  "Yes," Jessie said with a thoughtful nod. "Do that, will you, Rylan? And thanks."

  "You're welcome, Jessie. You know that Sabrina and I will do all we can for you."

  The two parted company a short time later, Rylan to report back to Seth and Jessie to go upstairs to the girls. The thoughts of each person were many and varied, and at least one of them wished she could see into the future.

  "Oh, my," Bri said quietly when Rylan told her Seth's story in their bedroom that night.

  "Amazing, isn't it?"

  "And you say you knew Seth before he left?" she asked.

  "Just briefly. If my memory serves, he and Jessie did a good deal of quarreling. I would stop at the store and find them both looking frustrated, but I remember that he cared about her and Hannah. Along with the store. He cared about the business and seemed to work hard."

  "How long after you came before he left?"

  "I don't know. Not long."

  Husband and wife sat quietly for a while before Rylan reached for Bri's hand. Bri knew what this meant. She closed her eyes and listened to her husband as he prayed, praying along with him for Seth, Jessie, and the girls, who all needed God's mighty saving hand in very different ways.

  78

  For the following week Seth stayed completely clear of people and the main streets of town. He was older but still recognizable, and the last thing he wanted to do was start rumors about being seen in town, rumors that might get back to his daughters and upset or embarrass them.

  Even on Sunday he slipped in late for the service and listened from the foyer area, staying completely out of sight. He had discussed this decision with Rylan, and the pastor had agreed with his efforts to remain out of sight until he and Jessie talked.

  In that time Seth learned the creek line very well. He walked and sat for hours outside, staying out of the house if Rylan wasn't home, praying and gathering his thoughts, the most prominent of which was the fact that he had two daughters. Seth was in a near state of shock over this. During the years away when he would allow himself to think about Jessie, he would picture her raising Hannah alone. Not once did another child enter his mind. He had left Jessie to raise two daughters alone. At times he wondered how he had the nerve to ever show his face in town again. But come evening, when he would sit with Rylan and Bri, he felt better. The three would talk for hours about Scripture, the things Seth doubted, and how to deal with the fears that kept rearing their ugly heads.

  Were it not for those times, Seth didn't think he would have survived. He'd been in situations where it seemed that time had come to a halt. He would not go so far as to say that this was also such a time, but it was a long week for him, one that he prayed God would use in his life.

  Not once did he waver from his goal when he prayed, knowing that God's will was best. He continually asked God to restore him to his family or at least allow him to be a father once again. He knew there were folks all over the world who had prayed for something for years. If Seth was tempted to grow weary of asking God for his family, he reminded himself that a week was a very short time.

  79Jessie could not believe she'd told Rylan she needed a week. Not 24 hours into that time, she found herself so curious about her husband that she would have gone back to Rylan and recanted had she not had a store to run.

  As the days went by, she watched the girls to see if she had been truly right about their interest in men. What she saw was unmistakable. They seemed captivated by men. They paid more attention to what they did, how they stood and spoke, and whether or not they were noticed by them. For Jessie it was a chilling revelation, knowing how innocent and vulnerable they were.

  When she wasn't thinking about the girls, Jessie thought about Seth in a way she hadn't for years. The feelings were so varied that she could barely think straight. Part of her believed she would never let him get close to her, and part of her recalled sweeter times.

  She could tell from Rylan's words that he believed Seth had changed. Well, she wasn't the same either. There had been plenty of time to think about what had gone wrong in her marriage, and even though she would never believe that leaving was the right thing to do, a part of her understood.

  Another very small part of her had been glad. She had grown up with quarreling parents and did not want that for Hannah. She thought time apart might do them some good. Never did it occur to her that he would stay away. It certainly never entered her mind that she would have their second child in his absence. She still remembered looking down into Clancy's newborn face and realizing that she was going to be raising her alone. She had been forced at that point to put Seth from her mind and carry on.

  Jessie continued to mull all of this over during the week she had asked for, thinking at times she was going to take leave of her senses. Had not Bri made a visit one evening, she might have done just that.

  80"How are you?" Bri asked as soon the girls went to bed. She had been there since the store closed, just waiting for this moment.

  "Most of the time I'm fine, and at other times I think he can't possibly be back."

  "He's been careful about that," Bri said.

  "How exactly?"

  "He hasn't wanted to be seen and cause problems for you and the girls if you don't want him in town."

  Jessie had all she could do to keep her mouth shut. She been hoping for a glimpse of him, and here he was keeping out of sight.

  Bri correctly read her thoughts and asked, "Did you think he would be around when you said to wait a week?"

  "I said I didn't want to talk to him for a week, but I thought we might at least spot each other."

  Bri nodded with understanding and then asked, "What were you hoping to see?"

  "I don't know. Just how he looks, how he seems."

  "Well, I certainly don't have a comparison, but he's a good-looking man, and he's been very kind."

  "You've met him?" Jessie asked.

  Bri blinked. "He'
s living with us, Jessie. Rylan didn't tell you?" "No, I guess it didn't come up. I should have figured as much but didn't."

  For a moment it was silent in Jessie's living room. Bri watched her friend, well able to imagine what her heart was going through. "I'm praying for you," Bri decided to tell her just then.

  Jessie gave a small smile and didn't comment. This was the one area where she and Bri ran out of things to say to each other. Or rather she ran out of things to say.

  "I need to go while it's still light out," Bri said, and both women stood. They hugged, and Jessie thanked her friend for coming. At the storeroom door she watched Bri until she was out of sight, knowing she would be fine, and then returned to the apartment. She felt a need to be near her girls and slipped into the bedroom to sit for awhile. She

  81was still sitting there in the dark when she felt tired enough to turn in and sleep. Readying for bed, she willed herself not to dream all night.

  Just as Rylan said he would, he returned a week later. It was closing time just like before, and once again he waited for Jessie to send the girls upstairs.

  "How are you doing?" Rylan asked as soon as they were alone. "Fine, I think. I've had lots of questions go through my mind." "Seth has told me that he wants you to know that he'll answer

  any of your questions, but he said to warn you that it's not a pretty

  story."

  This had not occurred to Jessie. She thought for a moment before asking, "He's not wanted by the law or anything like that, is he? I wouldn't want the girls subjected to that."

  "I'll let him tell you everything."

  Jessie nodded but then panicked and grabbed Rylan's arm.

  "Rylan, you love my girls-I know you do! Am I doing the right thing? Do you think Seth will hurt them like he hurt me? Will he win their hearts and then leave?"

  Rylan looked into her desperate eyes and spoke from his heart. "I don't think so, Jessie. We've spent most of the week together, and he's not the same man who left here. I certainly can't make you any promises, but I don't think Seth Redding is that selfish man anymore. I could tell you why I feel that way, but I think that's for him to do.

  "And Jessie," Rylan added to reassure her, "I'll talk to him. I'll make sure he understands that this has to be forever or not at all."