The Words Shimmer

by Jenn Matthews

  “These are the actual ones,” Jasmine said, bouncing rapidly up and down on her feet. “You’re brill, Mum.”

  “And don’t forget it, hmm?” She glanced at the wall clock. “Isn’t it a bit late to be eating?”

  “Carrie says that the best time to eat is at night. Because you’re body digests everything properly.”

  “Not strictly true.” Ruby leant against the counter and folded her arms. “A good hearty breakfast is best, and then light meals throughout the day.” As Jasmine started to protest, Ruby cut her off with a chuckle. “Healthy ones, missus.”

  “I’m not eating salad. It gives me wind.”

  “Charming.”

  The sound of a huge pair of trousers shuffling along the floor announced the arrival of Ruby’s eldest daughter, whose corduroys were at least six inches too long for her, despite her tall stature. Without preamble, Chloe stepped up to her mum to give her a one-armed hug. “Were you out?”

  “Just having a drink with Mel,” Ruby said, returning the hug and pressing her cheek to Chloe’s.

  Chloe moved towards the kettle and gave Ruby a questioning look. Ruby nodded, so Chloe filled the kettle with water and flicked it on. “You’re spending quite a bit of time with Mel.” With her back to her, Ruby couldn’t see Chloe’s face.

  “That’s right.” She pressed her lips together and tapped a finger against the counter top.

  Jasmine sat at the kitchen table, the packet of pasta held in both hands as she read the back of it. “Why?”

  “Why what?” Ruby wrapped her hands around the warm cup of tea Chloe handed her.

  “Why are you spending so much time with her?”

  Ruby cleared her throat and gave both her daughters a stern look. They spoke about their personal lives with each other, but it had been a while since Ruby’s personal life had included a romantic relationship, or even something that had the potential to become one. She looked between them, noting Chloe’s steady eye contact and Jasmine’s more nonchalant attention to her pasta. “I like her.”

  “What does that mean?” Chloe asked, going to the table and sitting at a right angle to her sister. She placed a cup of tea in front of Jasmine, who didn’t even look up. Chloe indicated the chair opposite her, so Ruby slid into it, feeling very much like this was about to become an interrogation.

  “It means that I like her company, and I think she’s funny and good to talk to, and she’s intelligent.”

  Both girls looked up at their mother, Jasmine’s eyebrows raised in adolescent indignation.

  Ruby sighed and tilted her head to the side. “I’m aware it’s been a little while since I’ve had a friend, so to speak.”

  “You’d better bring her round,” Chloe said, lifting her tea to her lips and pointing one finger through the handle across the table. “I don’t want you starting with someone when we’ve not even met them.”

  “Me neither.” Jasmine rolled her eyes and wrinkled her nose, banishing the thought away with a wave of her hand.

  “I’m not entirely sure if she wants… any kind of… romantic relationship.” Ruby thought back to their exchanged glances, and the way their fingers had touched briefly in the pub before her phone had interrupted them. She looked out of the window, trying to collate all the times they’d touched and form some sort of conclusion, like a clinician searching for a diagnosis.

  “Maybe she’s too busy,” Chloe said, her maturity showing through the small huffs and eye-rolls she was getting from her sister. “She works full-time, doesn’t she? And the uni course.” Chloe sipped her tea and shuttered her eyes thoughtfully. “Maybe she doesn’t have time for a girlfriend.”

  “She’s a student?” Jasmine snorted a bit behind her cup. “You’re dating a student.”

  Chloe shot her a derisive eyebrow raise and shook her head in something close to disbelief.

  Staring at her cup, a feeling of dread washed over Ruby. She’s a student. I’m a lecturer. How many times have I read about student-teacher relationships in the media? These people go to prison.

  “She’s older than me.” Ruby allowed the steam from her tea to tickle her nose as she drank.

  “She’s still a student, Mum,” Chloe said, apparently also amused by Jasmine’s comment and out to tease her mother.

  They sat in silence to drink the rest of their tea. In the end, Jasmine put the pasta in her cupboard, forbidding anyone to as much as think about trying it. Chloe left next, intent on continuing some college work in her room, before bed.

  Staring into her empty cup, Ruby just breathed for a while, willing her insides to cease their churning. Is it inappropriate? She’s a student. What if people find out?

  She sank her fingers into her hair as she dropped her head into her hand. The ends of her hair brushed the table, and she stayed in the little dark den for a while, her whole face enclosed. It was the weekend. She had a whole two days of worrying about it before going back into work on Monday and being able to access the university’s policies and procedures.

  Even if it is inappropriate, it would be a shame to stop seeing Mel. Perhaps we could just be friends.

  Chapter 11

  Barney sat in the boot of Ruby’s car, shifting about as if she knew they were going somewhere exciting. “It’s just the beach, you plonker.” Ruby turned along the slightly sandy road and onto a small street lined with pretty houses and bungalows of varying size and design.

  Barney yipped and wagged her tail, her feet sliding a bit as Ruby turned the car into Mel’s small driveway. Ruby turned around in her seat after switching off the engine and gave Barney a look. A pair of big, brown eyes appeared over the top of the back seat.

  “Now then, missus. No funny business. No humping Mel’s leg, or eating her sofa, or trying to play with the cat. Cats are not like dogs; they don’t like to play the same way.”

  Barney just wagged her tail enthusiastically and turned to the boot door before starting to lick the window.

  Ruby rolled her eyes and got out of the car before Mel could appear and see the embarrassing behaviour of her dog. She opened the boot and grabbed Barney’s collar before she could jump down and run off. After clipping her lead into place, she scooped the terrier up and deposited her onto the gravel.

  Ruby set the strap of her handbag across her body and made sure her jacket was buttoned up properly. Small feet crunched around her as Barney took her time to smell everything, then the lead went taught as she strained towards the house.

  “Hello.”

  Ruby looked up and grinned as she caught sight of Mel holding her front door open and leaning out. “Hiya. Oops.”

  The dog tugged so hard that the lead slipped from Ruby’s fingers. Barney bounded up to Mel, who stooped down to grab the dog around the collar. “Steady on, little one. Let your mum get herself together before you come crashing over here.”

  Barney’s tail was smacking the sides of her hips, and her tongue was hanging out of her mouth in a wide grin. She barked again and settled her backside onto the floor politely.

  Ruby made her way quickly over to Mel and chuckled, apologetically. “Sorry, she can be a bit… too friendly.”

  Barney’s nose was trained towards the open door.

  “You’re pretty desperate to explore, hmm?”

  “She will be. New smells, and you have a cat.” Ruby scratched her chin. “Is she going to be okay, your cat?”

  “She’s quite used to dogs.” Mel’s face pulled into a grin. She let the dog go, watching as Barney raced around her kitchen, then sniffed at the door into the rest of the house.

  Looking behind her at the gravel driveway and the row of paving slabs from the front door to half way toward the gate, Ruby furrowed her eyebrows. “What’s that about?”

  “Ever tried to pull a stretcher over gravel?” Mel asked, and stepped back to allow Ruby into her house.


  Ruby wiped her feet on the mat and clasped her hands as Mel sat to pull her walking boots on. “Can’t say I have, no.”

  “Nightmare. If I ever need taking to hospital by ambulance, I want a nice concrete path for my vehicle of transport to take me along before they load me in.”

  “Very sensible.” She’s not just a pretty face. Stop that. Friends.

  “Drink before we head out?”

  Barney was still sniffling about at the underside of the door. Mel took pity on her and opened the door, the little dog racing out to explore.

  “It’s fine, my house is fairly dog-proof.”

  “You’ll have to give me the tour,” Ruby replied. “And a glass of water would be just the ticket.”

  Mel filled two glasses with water and handed one to Ruby. Then she led the way Barney had gone into a large and long living room, with a dining area to the right and doors further off the same way. “So, I guess this is the living room.”

  It was decorated simply but tastefully, with a few beach items placed on various surfaces and a gas fire on the far wall. The big bay window showed her small back garden, which had a greenhouse and a shed. A glass door to the left led into a small conservatory, holding a wicker chair set and a small table.

  They went through the door to the right and into a small hexagonal hallway that had three doors leading off it. Barney was in what could only be the spare room, a small box room with a computer, a bookcase, and a single bed standing under the small window. She sniffed under the bed and looked up at them to send them a wag and a grin.

  Mel held a hand out to the other two doors. “Bathroom, and my bedroom.” She looked at the floor with a shy shrug. “It’s not big, but it does me well enough.”

  “It’s lovely.” Ruby reached to touch a framed black-and-white photograph of an older gentleman in a suit and tie, taking in his kind-looking features. “Your dad?”

  Mel seemed to swell with pride. “That’s right. At a company dinner.”

  “He’s really handsome.” Ruby took a chance, figuring it couldn’t hurt to compliment. Friends did that, didn’t they? “You take after your dad.”

  “I know. Both ginger as anything.”

  “I didn’t mean that,” Ruby said, determined to be kind and make sure Mel knew what she meant. “I meant you’re both nice looking.” Ruby’s cheeks burned.

  There was a pause while Mel smiled at Ruby. “Thanks.”

  Barney sniffed around their feet and trotted up to Mel’s closed bedroom door, inhaling deeply at the gap underneath.

  “Aha, have you found her?”

  “I don’t allow her on the bed at home,” Ruby warned Mel.

  “That’s okay.” Mel swung open the door and allowed the dog inside.

  Barney skittered around the room, poking her nose into every little nook and cranny she could find. Then she stopped and lifted her front half, resting her paws on the edge of the mattress.

  A multi-coloured cat sat up from her curled-up posture and stared at the new visitor with wide eyes.

  “Ruby, meet Epione.”

  “She’s beautiful,” Ruby said, unsure about whether she should properly enter Mel’s bedroom but wanting to greet the cat before Barney chased her away. Eventually deciding that Mel seemed comfortable enough, Ruby shuffled into the room and perched on the edge of the large double bed.

  Yapping happily, Barney scampered to get onto the bed, but Ruby clicked her fingers and gave the dog a look. “Just wait.” Barney obediently backed away and sat on her podgy behind.

  Ruby shifted towards the cat, who sat watching her with those large eyes, and reached out a hand. An inch away, she stopped, hoping Epione would come towards her. White paws spread wide and a fluffy tail emerged from beneath the small cat as she stood and stretched, her backside popping up comically. Then the furry face butted against Ruby’s hand, and Ruby’s body flooded with warmth.

  “Oh hey, hiya. Nice to meet you.”

  “Mrow.”

  Both Mel and Ruby chuckled at the response, until Ruby turned back to Mel and her dog, the latter trembling with excitement. “Would it be okay if she…”

  “Of course.”

  “Hup, Barney.” Ruby patted the bedspread.

  Barney jumped onto the bed and nearly tumbled over her own feet as she came face-to-face with an affronted feline, her mouth opening and a deliberate hiss escaping. Barney sensibly stopped and elongated her neck to sniff the cat, without moving her feet any closer.

  Lifting a soft paw, Epione smacked Barney around the muzzle. The fact that the dog did not squeal meant that Epione had not unsheathed her claws.

  “A friendly greeting,” Mel stated, still chuckling. “Good girl, Epi.”

  “And good girl, Barney.” Ruby stood from the bed and smoothed the covers straight where they’d become wrinkled underneath her. “And now, I think down would be appropriate.”

  The dog hopped from the bed and padded back into the hallway, in search of something else to investigate. Perhaps something that wouldn’t smack her on the nose.

  They got ready and walked down the short way to the beach. Mel relished the seaweed and salty smells that hit her regularly, and always made her feel bright and alive. Sometimes she wondered whether she had fish genes somewhere along the line, although she wouldn’t go so far as to swim in the Bristol Channel, which was mostly mud and rubbish these days. One could get stuck in the mud, trying to walk out far enough to actually see the sea at low tide. Biggest tide difference in Europe, and people still tried to walk out. Idiots.

  The day was windy but clear. They could see for miles, right over to the small islands dotted between the seashore and Wales. They could see the lighthouse near Swansea, flickering steadily. A few tankers on the water looked like Lego constructions. Mel showed her the docks and the different towns across the water. Ruby leaned in close to follow the direction of her pointed finger.

  They walked along the beach towards town, and then turned back, heading for the sand dunes and boatyard. Barney skipped in and out of the dunes, her brown muzzle poking between clumps of dry grass, making them laugh. She seemed to know what would humour them and kept doing it, until Ruby called her to heel and she bounded over for a biscuit.

  Mel leant down to fuss the soft fur and bouncing ears, tracing a wrinkle or two in the dog’s forehead. “You’re having a good time, hmm?”

  “She is.” Ruby stood with her arms folded and looked out to sea, her gaze drifting over the half-sunken boats and plastic barrels that littered the landscape.

  “My dad had a boat for a while,” Mel said, her voice getting a little lost in the sea breeze.

  Ruby beamed at her, her dark wavy hair swiping about her face. She gathered it up and stuffed it down her scarf. “That must’ve been nice.”

  “Was great. He didn’t take it out on the water much, but he loved tinkering with it, and taking a flask out here to sit by it.”

  “What was it called?” Ruby turned towards one large blue boat, weathered by the elements, its paint flecked, the name however stark against the wood: ‘Saint Maria’.

  “Katy,” Mel said. “After my mother.”

  “That’s lovely.”

  Mel just nodded, her eyes tearing up. Must be the wind. It’s rather bracing this afternoon.

  They continued on, heading through the boatyard and towards a concrete path through some countryside. Barbed-wire fences stood on either side, and Ruby seemed comfortable to continue to allow Barney to roam where she liked. She took a plastic bag out of her shoulder bag and produced a ball.

  “Want to play?” she asked the dog.

  Barney wagged her tail and jumped up and down on her little feet.

  Ruby threw the ball behind them, and the dog skittered off after it. Little feet scraping the concrete as she slid to a halt and caught the ball. “So, I just realised
what date it is,” Ruby said, her focus following a few birds flying from one tree to another.

  “Yes, I did notice,” Mel said, her own gaze moving to the ground by her feet.

  “We’re spending Valentine’s Day together.”

  “We are.”

  “Any reason?” When Mel looked back up, Ruby’s shoulders appeared tense, although she wasn’t sure whether it was from the conversation or the chilled wind.

  “Well, neither of us have a date, I presume?”

  “You presume correctly.”

  “So, why not spend the day with a new friend?”

  Ruby turned to look at her. “So this is a friend thing, not just two random people who’ve met and have found a few things in common?”

  “Isn’t that what friendship is?”

  Ruby appeared to think deeply for a while, small lines appearing between her eyes. “I suppose so.” She laughed slightly. “I guess I thought that you were just helping me with the garden. Making money for the Air Ambulance. That it was a… professional thing.”

  “I like your company,” Mel said with a shrug. “I wouldn’t help out with something like that if I didn’t enjoy spending time with you.”

  “Really?” Ruby seemed shy and uncertain.

  Mel stopped walking and rested her hand on Ruby’s upper arm. “Listen. Despite the fact that we’ve identified a few differences—namely you’re as opinionated at they come—I’ve still chosen you as a friend.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re willing to forgo some of those beliefs if I think they’re stupid.”

  “You’ve opened my eyes to the whole paramedics-not-being-gung-ho-heroes thing.” Ruby was biting her lip, as if she was trying not to smile.

  “Ah good, glad we got that sorted.” Mel rubbed the beige of Ruby’s coat with her thumb. “I feel like you’re the kind of person who doesn’t make friends easily.” At Ruby’s look of incredulousness, Mel lifted both hands. “No, it’s a compliment. You’re picky.”

  “I am picky.”

  “Who would you say your best friend was?”