The Words Shimmer

Home > Other > The Words Shimmer > Page 19
The Words Shimmer Page 19

by Jenn Matthews


  “Hey. All right?”

  “I’m good.” Ruby felt anything but, but she didn’t want Mel to know.

  A note of uncertainty flickered across Mel’s gaze. “Okay.” There was an awkward pause. “They’re sending another teacher to take the kids home.”

  “Good.”

  “So, that’s sorted.”

  Ruby shook herself inwardly. “Yes. Sorry. Thank you for doing that.”

  Mel softened. “That’s okay. We’re a team.”

  Ruby shivered again.

  Chapter 20

  “Oh my God, Mum, so what happened?”

  “Unfortunately, we had to phone the school.”

  “Why? Couldn’t you just take the kids back to their school on the bus? It was already there, right?”

  Ruby shook her head. “Not as simple as that when it comes to the care and responsibility of school kids. Especially primary-school kids. While we both have police checks and such, neither of us is insured to take thirty children on a school bus. Besides, how would we have got back to campus?”

  “One of you could have followed the bus in a car to pick the other up. I can’t believe she just left,” Chloe said, easily keeping up with her mother as they walked along the path that outlined the park, Barney trotting at their heels. Chloe’s long corduroys brushed the concrete and Ruby rolled her eyes at them.

  “Yeah, we were pretty shocked too.”

  “What did the school say?” Chloe bent down to let the dog off the lead and held her hand out for the ball stowed safely in Ruby’s handbag.

  Ruby handed it to her daughter. “I’m not sure what they’ll do about the teacher. They sent a replacement in a taxi to accompany the kids.”

  Chloe’s expression scrunched, and she blinked a few times, then threw the ball for Barney, who scampered after it. “So, this woman went to the dean?”

  “Yes.” Tension coiled inside Ruby.

  “What’s she going to do?”

  “I’ve been called in. For a formal meeting.”

  Chloe stared at Ruby. “Blimey. That’s a bit harsh.”

  “It’s going to be a disaster.”

  “You think?”

  Ruby nodded. “My job might be on the line.”

  Those trailing trouser bottoms nearly caused Chloe to trip. “What?”

  “Yep.”

  Barney ran up to them and dropped the ball at Chloe’s feet, her tail hitting the sides of her bottom one after the other.

  Ruby watched Barney race up to another dog instead of chasing the ball that Chloe had thrown for her. Bum-sniffing commenced before Barney arrived back in front of them, an expectant look on her face.

  “I don’t have it. You lost it. Go find it.” Chloe’s voice was commanding but kind.

  Barney sped away, her nose to the ground. She sneezed a couple of times.

  “You really think you might get fired?”

  Ruby shrugged and blinked back tears. “The teacher threatened to… She’s going to tell the dean…” She gazed down at her daughter, and the overwhelming need to keep her safe at all costs consumed her. I’m supposed to be setting a good example to my children. What kind of mother puts her romantic life before her professional integrity?

  “Brian offered me more shifts at the shop,” Chloe said nonchalantly.

  Ruby’s heart swelled. “They really think you’re a good employee, don’t they?”

  “I mean, like…” Chloe chewed the side of a finger until her mother tapped her hand, a chastisement. “I could work more, help with the mortgage. If you have trouble.”

  “But, darling, you’re at college full-time. You already work a day and a half at the weekend.”

  Chloe shrugged. “Yeah.”

  “You’re not giving college up. Your A levels are important.”

  She shrugged once more. “I know. But if you need me to… I will. I could drop two, and do the other two next year, or the year after.”

  Nausea rolled inside her. “No. Your studies are more important than…” Ruby swallowed. “Don’t worry. I’ll sort it.”

  Chloe stared back at her, and something settled in her eyes, something understanding. She came up on her toes and slipped her arms around her mother’s neck, resting against her front. “You always know what to do, Mum. So you shouldn’t worry either.”

  Ruby gripped Chloe and inhaled her hair-dye-tinged scent. She needed to make some changes. She needed protect her job and her family. The tension in her shoulders clicked up a notch, but she pulled away with renewed determination. “I’ll sort it.”

  My legs hurt. Mel flopped back onto her sofa with a groan. Epione slunk past, purring, her tail high. The purring intensified as Mel rubbed her ears. “Hey, matey. Bet you’re hungry?”

  “Mrow.”

  Everything ached as Mel pulled herself to her feet and went into the kitchen in search of a drink for herself and something to quench Epione’s hunger. A couple of cat treats later, the fluffy feline was settling down back in the living room, her eyes closing in a cat-smile.

  Mel flopped down with her glass of water, the ice clinking against the sides. She drank languidly, then placed the glass on her coffee table. A few minutes of silence and tranquillity, after the drama of the day.

  I wonder if Mrs Denzie will get fired. There’s really no talking to some people.

  Her phone rang, breaking the comfortable moment, but Mel wasn’t too fazed. Ruby’s name flashed on the screen.

  “Hey.” She pressed the phone to her ear, trying to sound gentle. She’d got the feeling that Ruby hadn’t been all that pleased with Mrs Denzie’s reaction.

  “Hiya. Listen.”

  Mel’s mouth went dry, and she was suddenly on high alert. “You all right?”

  “I’m fine.” Clipped and stark words.

  “Because, I know today was difficult.”

  “Yes. It was.”

  Mel swallowed. She rubbed her slick palm against her trousers.

  “Listen. I want to stop what we’re doing.”

  A lead weight knocked inside her “But everything’s growing really well, and I reckon we’re going to make loads of money.”

  “No.” Ruby huffed, as if in frustration. “Not the gardening group.”

  “What, then?” Mel blinked. “Wait. You want to break up with me?”

  “I don’t want to, but it’s the right thing to do.”

  “Why?” Mel searched the room for some kind of explanation. Did I do something wrong?

  “Because… it’s inappropriate. I can’t have my private life and my personal life mixing like this.”

  Standing from the sofa, Mel started to pace. “What are you talking about? We went through this; it’s not inappropriate. You’re not my lecturer, and I’m not your student.”

  “It’s wrong. I’m at work and you’re… you’re all over me. Students see me and God knows what they think.” Something caught in Ruby’s voice, as if it was suddenly difficult for her to talk. Is she crying?

  “I’m not all over you.” Mel stopped walking and looked out of the window at her greenhouse. She wracked her brains to try to remember a time she’d touched Ruby inappropriately while in the garden at university. “Come on, tell the truth.” Is it my inability to read? Her chest hurt, suddenly.

  “I am.” A pause. “I don’t like my private life bandied about like it’s common knowledge. Especially where I work. I’m sorry.”

  “You’re not sorry.” The words were growled through gritted teeth. “You’re small-minded and opinionated.”

  “I know. I’m sorry for that too.”

  “Stop saying that.” Tears collected in Mel’s eyes and she rubbed them away. “If you were sorry, you wouldn’t have strung me along.” She exhaled sharply and wrapped an arm around her middle. “You really weren’t okay with it, were
you?”

  “It’s too much for me. I can’t do this.”

  And the phone went dead.

  Mel thumped her palm against the window ledge. It stung all up her arm, but she didn’t care. She dropped her phone onto the sofa, then flopped down next to it. Turning her face into the soft cushions, she cried.

  I knew it. She’s changed her mind about my condition. She thinks I’m broken, abnormal… stupid.

  Images of Ruby in the sunshine by the shed, her hair shining with golden streaks and her eyes dancing, made Mel cry all the more.

  Mel hated the smell of the care home. Too much disinfectant, and flowers in every corner. Maybe she just associated the smell with the place where she knew her father was going to die. The thoughts rushed her whenever she entered the foyer, but she always pushed them back. Today was not a good day.

  She said hello to the various carers and nurses that worked at the home before peeking around the door-frame into the living area. Several old people sat in high-backed chairs, the television showing some programme about making over someone’s home. It was reasonably mindless, but at least it wasn’t Jeremy Kyle. One home she’d visited with her brothers had been showing that when she’d walked in. She’d walked out seven minutes later, with the decision that no one she loved would ever go there.

  She caught sight of her father through the glass door in the sun room—a bright and warm room with light-coloured furniture and views out into the garden. He was asleep, his gnarled hands resting on either chair arm.

  A sense of calm settled over her at the expression on his face. The lines that usually tainted his features were almost non-existent. Perhaps he was dreaming about happy times with her mother. A cup of tea, still steaming away, sat next to him.

  She sat in the chair at his elbow. “Hi, Dad.”

  He stirred but didn’t wake. She listened to the sounds of the home for a while: the occasional grunt from a fellow occupant, the tinkling of the water feature in the garden that carried through the open window. Then she sighed and rested properly back into the large armchair.

  “I didn’t tell you. I met a woman.” She checked he was still asleep and found him snoring softly now. “She’s called Ruby. She’s amazing.” A lump formed in her throat, and she swallowed. “You’d like her, actually. She’s strong and determined and funny.” She placed her hand over her father’s and squeezed. “But she broke up with me. So I’m feeling a bit…” She looked around. No one seemed to be listening, and all the carers were clumped together in the staff room drinking tea. “A bit heartbroken, I suppose.”

  She remembered being younger, when her dad was fully functional, in mind and body. Going home from her little flat and falling into his waiting arms after Rach had ended their relationship. They’d sat together on the overstuffed sofa, his big arms around her. He’d even stroked her hair and had sung silly songs to her, to make her feel better. He’d done that when she was a child.

  “So I’m sad. Because she ended it because I’m stupid and thick and can’t read properly.” She brushed away a tear and sat up a little straighter. “Anyway, you’re being a right sleepy-head this morning. What’s that about, hm?” She squeezed his hand and patted it.

  He wriggled in his seat and squinted as he opened his eyes. She sent him a hopeful look. He stared at her with a hint of confusion.

  “Hey, Dad.”

  “Who are you?”

  The tightness in her throat swelled into a burning. “I’m… I’m Mel. I’m your daughter.”

  He squinted some more at her. “I don’t have a daughter. Where’s my Katy?”

  The carpet beneath her trainers was new. She bit her lip and forced away the shudder that threatened to pass over her. “Mum’s not here.” I need to stick with the care plan. No use telling him she’s dead. Just play along. “She’s out at the moment. What do you need her for?”

  “Mum?” His eyes were hazy. “My mother lives in Liverpool. Katy lives with me. Where’s Katy?” His voice was rising.

  “Dad, it’s okay.” She attempted to calm him with a gentle hand on his arm. He batted her away.

  “I’m late for dinner. Why am I sitting here? Who made this tea for me?”

  “Mum… I mean, Katy did. It’s okay.” Mel sat back in the chair. I want my dad. I want my dad.

  He stared down at the cup, and eventually the lines on his face receded. He sighed. “Oh. Yes, that’s right.”

  Her throat loosened a bit, but more tears threatened to fall. She took a couple of deep breaths. So much for Dad telling me it’s all okay. He’s not going to do that much anymore.

  It was as if the whole traumatic event hadn’t happened. Once he had finished his cup of tea, he stood shakily and moved to the electric organ on the other side of the sun room. She helped him turn it on, turned the volume right down, and pulled the sliding door closed so they wouldn’t disturb the other residents. Then she settled back in her chair, flopped her head to the side, and listened while his feet and fingers danced over the keys and pedals; an old show tune she recognised but couldn’t name.

  Chapter 21

  The corridor was silent as Ruby waited outside the dean’s office. She pulled her hand through her hair a few times, her fingers snagging on the occasional knot. Her shirt was too constrictive, and she longed to open the top button but refrained. It was too hot in the corridor, the walls too close. She felt trapped, cornered; like an animal on the way to slaughter.

  When Sonya opened the door, Ruby felt lightheaded and put a hand against the wall to steady herself.

  I have a plan. Things will be okay. Pushing out her chin, she met Sonya’s gaze with her own. “Afternoon.”

  “Come in.” Sonya moved away, and Ruby entered the office. Sonya held a hand out to the chair opposite her desk and sat in the larger, more luxurious, chair behind it. “Now, this business with Mrs Denzie.”

  “It’s all sorted.” Ruby clasped her hands and made sure she was sitting up straight. She hoped Sonya couldn’t see the sweat patches under her arms.

  “It most definitely is not. I’m incredibly concerned.”

  Ruby looked into her lap. She fingered the ring on her middle finger.

  “That our local primary school employs someone who treats my staff with such disrespect. I’m appalled, Ruby, truly appalled.” She placed a hand across the desk. “And I’m very sorry you had to deal with that.”

  Sudden realisation made Ruby look up. “Eh?”

  “We run a very inclusive establishment here, as you well know. Our diversity policy is top notch.” The look in Sonya’s eyes was gentle, even apologetic. “She came in here to complain about you having a relationship with one of our ECP students: Mel? She’s helping you with the Air Ambulance fundraiser, isn’t she?”

  Ruby nodded.

  “First of all, it’s incredibly kind that someone who works full-time, and is completing a taxing Masters Level course, should give up their Wednesday afternoons to help out the university. I must write to her to say thank you.”

  Ruby gripped the chair arm. Everything went still apart from the surging of her blood which seemed to rush through her vessels.

  “And I’ve called the primary school. They were very much unaware of Mrs Denzie’s views, and that she was openly expressing them to her students. I’m sure you’ll agree when I tell you that she has been sent on a diversity-awareness course. I insisted. I also insisted they replace her at the gardening group.” Sonya sat back and folded her hands.

  “So…wait. You’ve not called me in to tell me off for having an affair with a student?”

  “An affair? Oh Ruby, you are awfully old fashioned.” Sonya chuckled. “No. You don’t teach her directly, so I don’t see a problem. Like I said, we don’t have an issue with anyone’s sexual preference at this university. It just isn’t policy.”

  “Oh.”

  “And that
ludicrous story she tried to add on to her complaint when she saw I wasn’t giving her any credence”—she waved her hand and shook her head—“about you and the paramedic doing whatever in the greenhouse? Please. I know you better than that for one thing, and it was so obvious she was making it up as she went along right there and then. Then telling me an eight-year-old would back her up.” Another chuckle. “You absolutely should have said something before. Sounds like she’s been giving you trouble from the word go.”

  “Yes. She has.”

  “Anyway, I just wanted you to know that we support you. You’re doing a great job, from what I’ve seen on my little amblings in that garden. I think we should make it a yearly occurrence, don’t you? Also, this first-year student, who I hear you have put up for a dyslexia assessment. Good work, Ruby. I’m not sure I’d have noticed that.” Sonya’s laugh boomed around the office. “One of the other students told me about that prank she pulled with your projector. Well done for keeping your cool. Something else I would not have managed.”

  Something bubbled up in Ruby’s throat, so she pressed her fingers against her mouth, willing the feeling to disappear. I was so convinced she was going to fire me. What did I know?

  With a wave of her hand, Sonya dismissed her. “Go on, out with you. You have a seminar to run in five.”

  Ruby stopped by her office to collect her belongings. She sank into her desk chair and eyed the leather sofa, the place she’d spent so many wonderful lunches with Mel, chatting about everything and anything. She put her face in her hands.

  What have I done?

  Chapter 22

  Mel had been curled up on her sofa with the television turned to a smooth music channel. Lyrics describing how the heart felt when it was overflowing with love had been drifting over the room for hours. Her head rested on a cushion, and the scratchy blanket she used to keep her feet warm during a winter evening was pulled haphazardly around her shoulders.

  Mel heard the knock but couldn’t muster the strength to get up for several seconds. She flopped back onto the cushion when the door squeaked open and James emerged. He held up a bulging shopping bag.

 

‹ Prev