Desperate to Die

by Barbara Ebel

  “Oh no,” she mumbled and froze on the spot. Her car keys were not in her hand and, loudly, she blurted out an expletive. She had let the key ring slip into her pocket book without thinking. Like a child having a tantrum, she pounded her foot on the pavement and couldn’t believe what she’d done. Her heart still raced, but now it was for a different reason other than seeing Dr. Burk. What a mess. And what would Robby think? Foremost, she needed to unlock her car so she could leave again tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn.

  Annabel needed to focus and think and doing that would require her to stop daydreaming about her heartthrob. She stepped up to the door and tried to open it to no avail. Then she tried all three of the other handles to check if one of them defied the odds against her. But no such luck. Her hands were cold; her gloves were in her purse.

  She walked with purpose across the street and into the coffee shop and café. The little bell announced her entry as Robby was ordering something across the counter from Pete.

  “Hi, Annabel,” Robby said. “I’m grabbing dinner because I thought maybe you were held up. Nice to see you.”

  “How are you tonight?” Pete asked, looking at her skeptically. “You two obviously know each other.”

  “Yes, from the hospital,” Annabel said to Pete.

  Annabel stood right next to Robby. He wore a blue knit cap and his complexion shined; he was a ski magazine’s best bet for a male cover; she shook off his appearance the best she could.

  “Hi, Robby. How’s surgery?” she asked and immediately regretted it. What a mundane question, she thought. Couldn’t she come up with something better than that?

  He extended his hand over the counter to take a hot mug from Pete. “Surgery is fine as usual. Why don’t you order and we’ll talk at a table about surgery and medicine and whatever else.”

  “Except for a problem,” she said nervously. She glanced between Robby and Pete. “I locked myself out of my car.”

  “I take it you are outside and your keys are inside?” Pete asked, finding it amusing yet serious.

  “My car keys are in my purse … which is inside my car.”

  “Good thing you’re not a doctor rushing off to do an appendectomy on a patient,” Robby said.

  Annabel frowned. “But I need my keys to start my car in the morning,” she said. “Do either of you know how to get into a locked car? I don’t.”

  Robby pulled out the nearest chair and put his food on the table. “Easy,” he said. “Call Triple A.”

  “Triple A? That’s for senior citizens over sixty-five or something.”

  “You’re thinking of AARP, the American Association of Retired Persons. You want the American Automobile Association.”

  She stared blankly at him while he took his jacket off and hung it on the chair. “As far as I know,” she said, “I’m not a member.”

  “You would know,” he said. “You get slammed with mail asking for more money for additional services.”

  Pete came from around the counter and moved shakers of salt and pepper to Robby’s table. “Sorry to interrupt,” he said. “Why don’t you call your automobile insurance company? Many policies have roadside assist coverage.”

  “Smart idea,” Robby said and stirred a spoon around in a cup of soup. “Don’t mind if I eat, Annabel. I need to wrap up lecture material later at home, so I can’t be here too long. I’m giving a talk in the department tomorrow at 8 a.m.”

  She shook her head, not caring about food right now for either one of them. “I don’t know if I carry roadside assist and my insurance paperwork is in my car. I could call my folks. They carry all of our car policies.” She frowned and slumped into the chair next to Robby. “I’m in bigger trouble than I thought. I don’t even have my cell phone or apartment keys!”

  “Here, Annabel,” Pete said, pulling out his cell from under his apron.

  “Thanks. I’ll give them a call.”

  She walked over to the back corner of the room and paced. After calling the house number, Nancy picked up.

  “Nancy, hey. Put Mom or Dad on or ask one of them a question for me.”

  “Dad’s still in the office and Mom came home late and jumped straight in the shower. She’ll be out soon and I can ask her. What’s the matter?”

  “I need to know if we carry roadside assist on our insurance policies.” She lowered her voice as much as possible and continued. “You can’t believe it. I’m finally with the chief resident I told you about. The date of all dates, although we arranged it at the last minute. Stupid me locked myself out of my car.”

  “You doofus. Isn’t he acting like a hero and breaking into your car?”

  “No,” she whispered. “I don’t think he’ll even be staying here very long. He’s got to go.”

  “O….kay,” Nancy said. “Where are you?”

  “Near my apartment, the corner coffee shop.”

  “I hope you get your date situation figured out. The car key problem will fix itself no matter what. A damsel in distress always gets what she needs.”

  “Really?” Annabel said with disbelief.

  “Mom stopped running the water in there. I’ll go ask her.”

  Annabel continued a slow pace. Robby was chowing down on some fantastic looking sandwich. Her stomach growled as Nancy got back on.

  “She said yes. Call the insurance company or she said to call the Nissan dealer.”

  “The car dealer will be closed,” Annabel said. “Give me the car insurance phone number, would you?”

  Nancy went away again, came back, and began rattling off the number as Annabel walked over to Pete, waving her hand in a writing gesture. He handed her a pen and paper.

  She wrote it down and said, “Thanks. I better call right now. My situation is gobbling up my whole night.”

  “Annabel,” Nancy added, “Mom said to call or text her later to let her know the outcome.”

  “All right,” she said. She hung up and gave Pete back his pen. “I have roadside assist,” she said.

  “If there is a problem with them coming,” Pete said, “you can mind my store a few minutes and I can try breaking into your car with a coat hanger.”

  “Thanks so much. Let’s leave that as my last resort.”

  “You can also call a locksmith,” Robby said between bites. “They’ll charge at least two hundred dollars, but they’ll get the job done.”

  Annabel shrugged. “That’s a good idea too. At least now there are choices. I’ll stick with the safest method first, although I may still be waiting here in two hours.”

  “Don’t worry, Annabel,” Pete said. “You can chill here. Go make the call to your insurance company.”

  -----

  Sara came out of the bathroom and went straight over to Nancy at the kitchen table. “What was that all about?” she asked. “Annabel’s not on the side of the road or anything, is she?”

  “No, she’s in her neighborhood at the coffee shop.”

  “At least she’s not by herself. Besides the insurance company, someone there can probably help her out if she needs it.”

  “She’s with the surgery chief resident she has a crush on. Another date that’s blowing up in her face.”

  “At least she has a man with her.”

  “Mom! She can take care of whatever needs to be done without a man. Besides, it sounded like he’s not being of much use anyway. Not like Bob, who dropped his entire weekend and whatever plans he had to drive her down here.” She closed a text book while her mother still towel dried her hair.

  “Hmm,” Sara said. “Safe to say that Annabel’s learning more about the doctor’s character by having failed dates with him rather than having a steady, established relationship with him.”

  “But she doesn’t see that,” Nancy replied.

  “That’s why they say ‘love is blind.”

  “Her stupidity will work for me.”

  “Your sister is far from stupid. I assume she is also blinded in this situation because of hormones.
”

  “Like I said, this will work for me. I’d like to meet her friend, Bob, again. You don’t mind if I make a trip to Cincinnati in the next month or two, do you?”

  Sara shrugged. “No. However, be sure and coordinate it with your sister’s workload.

  “And my own.”

  -----

  Annabel called the insurance company and then carefully considered the menu on the blackboard.

  “What’d they say?” Pete asked.

  “They’ll send someone. They were kind enough to inform me it would take no less than an hour or two.”

  “They’ll probably just call a locksmith like you would have, except that now the fee will be covered under your policy.”

  “Unlike many situations,” she said, “I only care about the end result.”

  “I see your point. Anyway, what’ll you have?”

  “The soup’s delicious,” Robby said, handing the empty bowl across the counter to Pete.

  “How about a cheeseburger? They always smell great when I come in here.” She leaned across the counter and handed him back his phone. “Thanks,” she said.

  “Don’t mention it. One cheeseburger coming right up.”

  Robby asked for a coffee refill and they both sat down. “I’ll stay a bit longer over this coffee,” he said, “and then I’ll let you focus on your situation. If the insurance company has your cell phone number, you could even go home after you eat and before your help arrives.”

  She would like that, she thought, but didn’t want to remind him again that she was also locked out of her apartment. She watched him swallow; his eyes were on her and his mouth formed into a charismatic smile.

  “Since you are giving a lecture in the morning,” she said, “will you also have surgeries waiting on you tomorrow morning?”

  “Yes. I’ll go straight to my cases. There is never a slack in the day. You may have learned that already in your third year of medical school.”

  She nodded. “Are you still going to volunteer in Africa?”

  “Yes. In a few short months. It will be an experience.”

  Her heart panged in her chest; she would feel a void when he leaves … even if this was their first and last date; although so far it was as removed as a date as getting the wrong entrée at a restaurant.

  Pete came over with a glass of iced tea and her burger. “I threw some grilled mushrooms on the side in case you want to toss them on your burger. I also brought you an iced tea because you didn’t mention what you wanted to drink.”

  “Thanks so much, Pete. I forgot the drink. I’m too preoccupied to think. Plus, our family dog died this weekend. That’s upsetting all by itself.”

  “No problem about the drink and I’m sorry to hear about your dog. I bet he’ll stay in your heart forever.” He turned and left while the front door opened and another customer came in.

  “Did your family put the dog to sleep?” Robby asked.

  “Unfortunately. My father and all of us feel like rats for doing it.”

  “It happens,” he said. “So what’s your impression of medicine? Are you enjoying it enough that you’re considering it for residency? Many students choose it or family practice when they’re at a loss about specific specialties.”

  “You make internal medicine sound like a default area of medicine, like using a default internet browser because your primary one is offline due to technical issues.”

  He laughed. “Your analogy is not far from the truth. Think about it. You can google medical issues and treatments all you want, but when it comes to surgery, you need a practicing human being to wield the knife.”

  “Like you,” she said, “I may want to use my hands. I’m too naïve this early on, however, to make a decision.”

  He continued smiling at her. She took a swig of tea, trying not to stare his way.

  “I better head out,” he said. “I need to read through my lecture once more and copy it to a usb thumb drive.” He rose and put on his jacket.

  Annabel was sure her face registered disappointment as he stepped next to her and put his hand on her shoulder. She felt his gentle squeeze.

  “Good luck with getting into your car. I’m sure it’s going to work out fine.”

  “Thanks,” she said.

  He took a step but stopped, looking back at her. “I’ll call you next time,” he said.

  CHAPTER 18

  Totally vexed at herself, Annabel dropped her keys, purse, and backpack on the kitchen counter. At least now she knew what to do if she ever sabotaged herself again by leaving her keys inside the car; she also learned that the insurance company delivered what they promised in two hours.

  She sank into her big chair after she called home and assured her mother her problem was solved and that she was home, but she lacked the motivation to open a book. The night would be gone by the time she took a shower and went to bed.

  What did Robby think of her now? She contemplated the hours he works and that he only squeezed in seeing her on his way home. He was also more dedicated than most residents at his level to plan a year abroad volunteering his services. She frowned. Had he seemed the least bit interested in the passing of her dog?

  Annabel stopped tallying up Robby’s negative attributes. From the surgical rotation, she had come away with the clearest picture of him as a sharp, concerned surgeon, a super teacher, a likeable guy, and one heck of a looker. That was the real Dr. Burk. She stopped frowning. She hoped he called her again, especially since bad things happen in threes and they had hit their quota as far as dates were concerned.

  -----

  Annabel rushed into the office after seeing her patients. She had done the unthinkable, rare thing and overslept because she failed to set her alarm. At least she managed to see her patients in a hurry so she would not be blindsided on rounds with some unexpected overnight occurrence. She heard from one of the nurses that the thoracic surgeon would be by this morning to see May Oliver and, if she could, she wanted to listen in on what he had to say.

  She assumed Dr. Schott was the individual sitting on the couch with the newspaper covering his face.

  Donn peered over the paper. “She’s here!”

  “Sorry I’m a few minutes late,” she said. “It’s been one thing after another.”

  “Your situation can’t be worse than what I’m reading in the state-by-state news section,” Dr. Schott said. “Some maniac in Maine pressed the accelerator instead of the brake and drove off a cliff.”

  “An accidental Thelma and Louise,” Bob said.

  “What does that mean?” Stuart asked.

  Donn shook his head. “You need to take an occasional breather from studying, Stuart, and watch old movies.”

  “I would have been unable to drive here this morning,” Annabel said, “if I had not gotten back into my locked car last night. Keys were on the wrong side of the door.”

  “Ouch,” Bob said. “Not like you.”

  “It is now,” Jordan said.

  “Still,” Donn said, waving the top corner of the paper. “Two rednecks in Alabama also have you beat, Annabel. They robbed a bank in Mobile and were quickly caught thanks to their bragging about it - with photos on social media.”

  “Good thing you didn’t say Tennessee,” Bob said.

  “Or Louisiana,” Melody said.

  “All right, y’all,” Annabel said. “There are more than enough examples of stupid fodder from every state in the nation as well as from this bunch.”

  “What, like Jordan?” Donn asked. “Tapping on social media over there like I don’t see what he’s doing? The light it emits shines through his fingers like the sun rising and beaming between the trees.”

  Jordan slipped the iPhone straight into his lab jacket, raised his eyebrows, and gave a little shrug.

  Dr. Schott folded over his paper. “I better not read one more state-by-state news item, or we’ll never start rounds. But I’ll let you all in on one of my own,” he said, smoothing his fingers over his beard
and mustache. “When I was selling real estate before going to medical school, I was ready to close on a property that had been sold the day before. Talk about not knowing what’s going on!”

  “How can that even happen?” Bob asked.

  “Precisely,” Donn said and began walking out the door.

  -----

  “Sounds like your evening got messed up last night,” Bob said to Annabel as they walked behind the residents and Dr. Schott.

  “And my car key issue was the prelude to a date with Robby Burk,” she said, “a spur of the moment arrangement which blew up in my face.”

  “Ouch. Are you going to see him again?”

  “He said he’d call. Who knows?”

  “Karla was locked out of her apartment one night two weeks ago because she left her keys in her lab coat. We had to drive all the way back to the hospital to fetch them.”

  “Still seeing her once in a while for a sleep over?” A hint of jealousy shrouded the question.

  “You’re direct today. I’m not even seeing her this week. But usually we meet for more than a sleepover, you know.”

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean for it to sound snippy. I need to get my head aligned this morning. I didn’t even have time for coffee.” She took out espresso beans and shared. “By the way, my dad texted before I left the hospital yesterday. He mentioned to say hello to you.”

  “Give him my regards. The rest of your family, too. I really enjoyed meeting them. Too bad about Dakota. I could tell he was a special dog.”

  Annabel nodded as the group stopped.

  “Dr. Palmer,” Donn said, “you can start us off by reporting on your congestive heart patient from your last admission.”

  “Mr. Hogan’s vital signs are normal today,” Bob said, “but his weight has not budged since yesterday with our attempted diuresis of his fluid overload and he still has pedal edema on physical exam. His posterior-anterior and lateral chest films show a minor pleural effusion.”