by Lori Wick
“There will be some of you who think I only want more money for the church, but nothing could be further from the truth. Our church building does have some minor needs, but nothing compares to the need for all of you to know Christ.”
Long after the crowd had pressed close to share their regrets and then moved on their way, the Fontaines stood by the grave. Sammy was inconsolable for many minutes
“I need to see Eddie,” she kept repeating. “She’s going to be so upset, and she’s so far away. I have to see Eddie.” She sobbed uncontrollably against Danny’s side. Not even her father, lifting her in his arms, could abate the storm.
“She has Robert.” Addy came close to her husband’s shoulder in an attempt to console her youngest daughter. “He’ll take care of her.”
“I know, Mother,” Sammy replied, the tears still falling, “but she’s so far away, and I know she’ll be just crushed when she hears.”
And indeed Sammy was correct. Eddie was very upset to hear of her uncle’s passing. Robert delivered the telegram himself and held her while she sobbed. However, Eddie’s greatest tears were for her father.
“I don’t know what he’ll do now, Robert,” she cried. “He’s lived with Mother for so long, and nothing has ever touched him. Now, Uncle Mitch, the man who could have helped, is gone.”
“We can’t stop trusting, Eddie. God will find a way. He always does.”
Eddie continued to cry in her husband’s arms, but she prayed as well. She prayed with all of her heart that her father would be touched. If she could only have seen through the walls of her parents’ bedroom the next night, she’d have prayed for her mother as well.
Mitch had been buried for little more than 48 hours when Morgan responded to the things his brother had said. His response was not volcanic, but it was unsettling to Addy. They were getting ready for bed, and Addy could feel his tension from across the room.
“That’s a fine way to end things with my brother.” The statement came from out of nowhere. Addy turned, her blouse clutched in her hands.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean,” Morgan replied as he nearly tore his necktie off, “it’s just fine to learn when Mitch is on his deathbed that he thinks I deserve to go to hell.”
Addy forced herself to hang the blouse in the closet. “That isn’t what he said, Morgan.”
“Oh, really.” Morgan’s sarcasm was biting. “Just exactly what did he mean? He seemed to think that you would have all the answers, so why don’t you tell me just exactly what my brother meant.”
“I don’t think you’re in any mood to hear it.”
“Don’t patronize me!” The words were like a lash, but Addy remained outwardly calm as she turned to him.
“My grief is as great as yours, Morgan. Please don’t take this out on me.”
Addy turned away and unbuttoned her skirt. Morgan watched her. He wanted answers, but he was so angry that he could have put his fist through a wall. He was still just standing and staring, the tie dangling from his fingers, when Addy began to brush out her hair. Only the normalcy of her routine kept her from bursting into tears. She was nearly done with her hair when Morgan forced himself to speak calmly.
“What did Mitch mean when he said my pride would send me to hell?”
Addy turned away from the mirror.
“I believe he was speaking to the fact that you think all good, hardworking people go to heaven.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“It’s not true, Morgan; that’s what’s wrong with it.” “How can you say that?”
“I don’t say it.” Addy kept her voice neutral. “The Bible says it.”
“So you’re telling me,” Morgan returned, his voice was filling with rage all over again, “that all I’ve done, all I’ve worked for my whole life, isn’t worth a thing?”
“Morgan, are you sure you want to talk about this?”
“Yes!”
Addy started and wished she hadn’t asked. However, her own irritation was raised just enough to speak boldly. She knew this was not the right time—his grief was too fresh—but if Morgan wanted it, she would give it to him.
“Nothing we do outside of Christ is worth a thing. Outside of Christ it’s all useless.” Addy’s hand went into the air when Morgan opened his mouth. “And don’t you dare ask me, Morgan, why I think you are outside of Christ. You know very well that something is missing in your life.”
Morgan’s eyes were fierce at this point, but Addy kept on. It was a temptation to rail at God for putting her in this position, but she thought she might have been too passive in the past. With a deep breath she continued.
“You go into church with your family well dressed and well behaved and line them up in a row and hope that God notices. You actually tell the girls that God is impressed if we’re on time, yet you don’t live like Christ matters. Your Bible looks like the day I gave it to you. The Bible says, in 2 Corinthians 5, ‘If any man be in Christ he is a new creature; old things have passed away; behold all things are become new.’ If that hasn’t happened to you, Morgan, then Mitch is indeed right. You’re going to hell.”
Morgan’s gaze could have drilled holes into Addy. He wanted to storm from the room, but his feet wouldn’t move. How could she say this to him? He’d worked hard and been a fine provider. His eye didn’t stray. What man wasn’t tempted by the sight of a beautiful woman? But he had been faithful to Addy since the day he met her.
“Morgan,” Addy’s voice came softly to his ears. “It has to be God’s way. All the girls came to Christ as little children because it’s the easier way. We get older and our pride gets huge and then we try and tell God how we’re going to come to Him. Only it won’t work. He makes the call, and if we don’t abide by it we’re lost.”
“So you think I’m a failure?”
Addy felt defeat wash over her. It was as if he didn’t have a clue. She went to him and held his face in her hands.
“Morgan, you’ve been a wonderful husband and father, and you will go on being so, but something is missing. I think you can feel it, but you don’t want to acknowledge it. All I’m asking is that you keep your mind open. You’re so certain you have all the answers that you don’t even listen. Pastor Munroe is not to be merely tolerated; he’s there to teach us. The next time he speaks about heaven and how to get there, listen with your whole heart.”
The room was shadowy, but he could see tears standing in Addy’s eyes. He put his arms around her and felt her tremble, or was that his own body? Could he really be wrong after all these years? And if he was, did good people really go to hell? Morgan’s eyes shut in agony. He’d been so sure, and now his soul was in misery.
Better misery now, Morgan, than an eternity in hell. Where the thought came from Morgan couldn’t say, but he was going to listen, this much was sure. He now tightened his arms around his wife, desperately needing to feel her close. He was scared. Like a child alone in a dark forest, he was terrified. It was a new sensation for him, and right now Addy seemed to be all that was real. He held onto her with a new desperation, not talking, just needing to have her close.
“You heard baby birds?” one little girl asked another.
“Yes. I know it’s late, but they must have just hatched.”
“I can’t believe you were even in Henderson’s field.”
“Well, I was late getting home, so I had to cut across.”
“Did your mother find out?”
“No.”
The girls moved on, but their words echoed in Jackie’s ears. Baby birds in Henderson’s field. She knew where that was. And in July! Jackie glanced at the big clock on the wall. It was 1:15. She was done in the store today at 2:30. She had some chores to do at home, but she was certain she could work in a trip to see the birds’ nest and still arrive home in plenty of time to do them. Henderson’s property was off the beaten path, but it would be worth the walk.
Jackie suddenly looked down at her dress and scowled. W
hat in the world had possessed her to wear something so dressy to work? The lavender fabric even had a row of snow-white lace a foot up from the hem! She continued to scowl at her own fool-hardiness, but her frown soon faded to a look of wistfulness. She knew very well why she’d dressed up. She hadn’t seen Clayton since right after Uncle Mitch’s funeral and hoped beyond all hope that he would make an appearance today. So far it hadn’t happened.
“Jack,” her father’s voice suddenly snatched her out of her dreams.
“Yes?”
“Take this in the back and put it on the shelf with the others.” Morgan handed her a small satchel. “We have enough out front already. When you’re through with that, sweep the front walk.”
“All right.”
“When are you done today?” His question stopped her before she could move six feet.
Jackie turned back, her heart beating with sudden fear.
“Two-thirty.”
“All right,” Morgan said as he turned away. Jackie’s breath returned in a rush. She had thought he was going to say she needed to stay late. Her step was light as she moved to the back room and then to the front walk, the straw broom in her hand.
Two hours later, puffing from the warmth of her dress and the exertion, Jackie stopped below the tree in Henderson’s field. There was only one, and she had to climb a fence to get to it, but she had arrived. She stood very still to calm her breathing, and then she heard them: Baby birds chirping and crying out to be fed. She stepped immediately underneath the overhanging branches and strained to see the nest. It was too high.
She knew they would be cute, and she had such a soft spot for baby animals. However, if she tore this dress, her mother would not be pleased.
“But if I don’t see the nest,” Jackie now spoke to the tree. “I’ve come all this way for nothing.”
“Talking to yourself, Jackie?”
Jackie spun in surprise toward the voice and smiled as she spotted Clayton. He sat atop his horse, Miner, on the other side of the fence.
“Now what makes you think I’m alone,” Jackie asked with a flirting glance. She started toward him. “There might be a handsome young man courting me from the tree.”
He spoke when she’d stopped at the fence and looked up at him, her eyes sparkling with good humor.
“Now,” Clayton drawled charmingly, “I wouldn’t be calling you a liar, Miss Fontaine, but I think the only company you have out here is Henderson’s bull.”
“Is that right?” She sounded quite skeptical. “I think you might be doing the lying, Mr. Taggart. I haven’t seen a bull.”
Clayton’s humor fell away. “He does have a bull, Jackie. I don’t know if he’s out right now, but Henderson does pen a bull in this field.”
“Oh.” Jackie turned serious, and looked in all directions behind her. She still didn’t see anything, but the little girls’ conversation from the store now made more sense.
“How’d you get in there?” Clayton suddenly asked, shifting in his saddle to scan the fence line. He spotted the gate across the way.
“Now that would be telling,” Jackie said, but she was looking away. She could feel her cheeks heating. Indeed, she had climbed over at a low spot in the fence but didn’t care to admit this.
“Do you want some help getting out?”
“No, thank you.” Jackie tried to sound nonchalant, but when she finally looked at him, she found he was eyeing her strangely. She watched as he pushed his hat back on his head.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah.” Jackie’s eyes were huge, and she could feel her face going red all over again.
Clayton felt hesitant to leave her but told himself he’d have to take her at her word. She was acting very embarrassed about something, but he couldn’t imagine what. He wondered at that moment if she might indeed be meeting a young man. It would certainly account for her behavior, but within Henderson’s fence? The guy must not be very romantic.
“You’re sure you’re okay?”
“I’m sure.”
“I best be off then.” Clayton adjusted his hat low over his forehead again. “I’ll see you later, Jackie.”
“Bye, Clay,” Jackie said with a smile and then stood very still as he moved away. She sighed softly as the horse took his broad back out of view. She turned back to the tree, but suddenly the thought of seeing the birds wasn’t all that enticing. If Clayton had stayed to see them with her, she would have enjoyed it, but telling him the reason she’d come this far out had seemed so childish.
Jackie stood below the tree and listened to the sound of chirping again. She reminded herself again that the tree would tear her dress if she tried to climb it, so with a rather slow, disappointed step, she started back the way she had come.
The tree was a little farther than the fence when she heard the hoofbeats, but she panicked at the sight of a bull charging her and turned to run like the wind back to the haven of its branches. She swung herself up into the limbs with an agility she didn’t know she possessed and watched with horrified eyes as the bull ran a ways past the tree, snorting and stomping and looking for her.
Jackie was afraid to breathe. She moved only her head to see his every move, but the bull soon lost interest and wandered a short way off to graze. Jackie would have groaned if she hadn’t been so afraid. How would she ever get home? Not even the sight of the birds, which she finally remembered to look at, could cheer her.
She tried to gauge just how fast she could run compared to the distance to the fence, but knew it was foolhardy in long skirts. She shifted around a bit in an effort to see the bull again, but a small branch gave way beneath her foot and for a second she was hurtling toward the ground. She stopped with a loud scream as she was driven pencil–like into a small square of branches. Her legs felt scraped, and she could feel that her skirts were twisted tightly around her knees, baring her stocking–clad legs from the calves down.
As soon as she landed she pressed her hand tightly over her mouth to keep from howling again. Her scream had alerted the bull, and he was back under the tree, looking in all directions. Jackie was sure if he looked up and spotted her he could stab her foot with his horn, so she didn’t move a muscle—not even when a tear trickled down her face. She kept herself frozen until he once again moved on his way.
With that her mind began to move as well, and the thoughts were not happy. The image of being stranded here after dark, left alone in the blackness, was enough to make her tremble all over with fear. If she thought it would have helped she would have shouted with all of her voice for her father. Indeed, she was on the verge of doing this when a tiny peep from the nest diverted her.
Jackie looked at them and knew they were getting hungry. The mother was naturally frightened away by her presence. They can’t even get their dinner until I’m out of here, she thought miserably. What in the world am I going to do? A tear came, and then another, but no answers.
The wind blew through the tree just then, a cool wind, and Jackie shivered from more than just the cold. When the temperature dropped in Georgetown, nighttime was on its way. Jackie tried to move her legs, but she was jammed tight, and it hurt to shift even a little. Not bothering to subdue the noise this time, her tears came in a torrent of weeping. She was going to be stuck in the tree all night.
18
“She wasn’t at the store, Mother. Father said she left right at 2:30.”
“Thank you, Lexa,” Addy spoke from her place near the oven. Danny came into the room just then.
“Danny, have you seen Jackie?”
“No, not all afternoon.”
Addy bit her lip for just an instant.
“Danny,” she said, “run over to the Taggarts’ and ask there, will you? Come right back and tell me whether she’s been there or not.”
“All right, Mother.”
She left and Addy gave way to her concern, her face mirroring the anxiety within until she realized both Sammy and Lexa were watching her.
&nb
sp; “Are you worried, Mother?”
“A little,” she admitted, trying to smile. “It’s nearly dark, and Jackie always does her chores.”
The younger girls nodded and exchanged a glance. Danny had exited a few minutes before, but every heart was with her as she walked down the road to the Taggart property.
“What’s up?”
Clayton had just come in from outside to find Milly and his mother standing close by the front door. Elaine turned to him.
“Danny was just here looking for Jackie.” She sounded preoccupied with her thoughts and didn’t really notice the way Clayton tensed.
“She was finished at the store at 2:30,” Milly added, “but no one’s seen her since.”
Even as she spoke, Clayton was reaching for the hat he’d just set down. “Go to the Fontaines, Milly. Tell them I saw her in Henderson’s field this afternoon. If I’m not back here within a half hour, send help.”
“Clayton,” Elaine called before he could leave.
“Yes,” he answered, stopping with his hand on the knob.
She looked frightened but managed, “Are you thinking she’s been hurt? I mean, Henderson’s bull is—”
“I don’t know, Mom,” he cut her off gently. “I’ll be back just as soon as I find out.”
Elaine had little choice but to let him go, but the direction of her thoughts caused her to tremble. Milly went out the front door at the same time to take word to the Fontaines. Elaine, a dishtowel still in her hand, sank down at the kitchen table to pray.
Jackie had been trying to pray for hours, but her mind was going numb. The light was already so dim that the mountains that rimmed the valley were beginning to lose shape. Evening was falling and her panic caused her to lose all reason. It even took a moment for her to hear the hoofbeats over the pounding of the blood in her ears. She twisted around frantically to see who was coming and nearly went to pieces when the rider came close but began to move away.