Cruz : A Dark MC Romance (A Dark and Dirty Sinners’ MC Book 5)

by Serena Akeroyd

  Of course, that could be bullshit. If I was a doctor dealing with Nyx, I'd tell him that too. But, then, Stone had confirmed it, and she wasn't scared of Nyx.

  At least, I didn't think so.

  She’d told me as well after we hugged when I got to the hospital last night, and I didn’t think she’d lie to me.

  I hoped she wouldn’t, anyway.

  As I pondered if the status reports we'd been given on Bear were BS or not, if Stone had become a better liar since we were kids, I made it to the waiting room where the council was gathered, and hovered outside the door.

  Ever since Cruz had woken up, I'd left his cubicle, unable to deal with what he'd told me, with what he made me feel.

  On top of everything else, it was just too goddamn much.

  More than I could stand.

  More than I could bear.

  With my back to the partition, I strained to hear the conversation happening inside the waiting room. They spoke faintly, too faint. Made sense seeing as it was likely the walls had ears.

  Then, I jerked in surprise when Giulia came out, her arm in a sling thanks to her dislocated shoulder. She studied me with surprise, then even though she looked exhausted, winked at me, then bent down with a grimace of discomfort as she pressed something to the opening.

  I wasn't sure what it was, looked like a little squeegee stress ball, but when the door closed, it kept it ajar, just a tad.

  She raised her good hand to her mouth and asked me for silence, but I didn't need to be told. Instead, I just listened to what I could hear, with a volume that wasn't much better but it was a little easier nevertheless.

  "Rex? You got anything to say, brother?"

  Silence.

  Dead. Silence.

  Rachel heaved a sigh. "Just leave him, Storm. He's... you know how he feels about his parents."

  "I do. Yeah." Storm grunted. "What a fucking mess. What a goddamn waste."

  Giulia and I had our eyes fixed on each other's, and while I knew Rachel was in there with Rex, I hadn't expected her to be allowed to stay in what was, most definitely, an unofficial church.

  Giulia's eyes were pinched with resentment, and to be honest, I got it.

  I did.

  Even though we were MC brats, and were raised knowing how things worked, it didn't take the sting away.

  She'd been bombed as well, but she wasn't allowed to listen in?

  Sucked.

  "We need to get some shit straight."

  "Damn right we do," Nyx growled. "What the fuck was Maverick thinking of going into the fucking clubhouse?"

  "I don't know," Storm answered. "I just know that it was important enough for him to go looking."

  "He was talking to Lodestar earlier," Steel rasped, sounding like death. Most of them did thanks to smoke inhalation.

  "About what? Anyone know?" Storm queried.

  "Ghost might. She was there. You know Maverick talks around her," Link pointed out.

  "Shit, we'll need to speak with her then," Storm muttered. "Fuck." He heaved a sigh. "Okay, we'll deal with that after. First things first, we need to get shit rolling. Lots of brothers lived in the clubhouse and they'll need places to stay.”

  Rachel surprised me by murmuring, “There’s enough room for Rex and a few councilors at my place.”

  "Anyone else can stay with Lily and me," Link offered.

  "That's great, guys," Storm added. "But while Lily is Daddy Warbucks and Rachel, your place is plenty big, it won't serve for everyone.

  "I got the idea when I drove through town. How about Budget Basement?"

  "The motel?" Link hummed in thought. "Bit grimy, but so are most of the men right now."

  "Yeah. I was thinking, last I knew, Jamie Peters was trying to sell the place anyway. We should buy it and then we don't have to deal with any pressure while the compound is being restructured."

  "Good idea," Steel said. "We have the cash. We can buy him out whatever his price."

  "Don't go too high," Nyx rumbled, "we all know that fucker is a cunt."

  Giulia's lips twitched at that, like her man had just spoken pure poetry, and maybe to her he had.

  God knew she had to be used to him talking that way.

  "I'm pretty sure Mav had a file on him, back from when he used to run drugs out of that place," Link said softly. "Maybe we can access it? Or get Lodestar to access it?"

  "Good thinking."

  "You think she'll help?" Nyx queried. "I mean, we all know what a wild card she is. There's a reason we prefer to question Ghost about the conversation between her and Mav than the woman herself."

  "I think she will," Link intoned. "She's good people. A lot nuts, but good people. And she's doing all this shit for a reason, which isn't money."

  "That just makes her all the more dangerous and a bigger wild card," Nyx retorted, then an explosive grunt escaped him and I wasn't surprised when a loud crashing sound echoed around the room.

  "Fuck's sake, Nyx, you trying to get us thrown out?"

  In a flash, Giulia was storming inside, and she surprised me by grabbing Nyx's hand with her good arm, and tugging him around to face her.

  "I get you're stressed, I am too, God knows, but now isn't the time to be losing your shit." She scowled up at him, like a meerkat telling a grizzly bear to back the fuck down. "You hear me, Nyx? Get yourself under control."

  Because she'd barged in, I stepped inside the room, tucking myself small so that they wouldn't notice me and wouldn't toss me out.

  I needed to know what was happening more than they could understand.

  Everyone attached to the Sinners was going through the same hell, but not all of them had my past.

  The need for security, the need for things to be copacetic, was an urge that might keep the wolves at bay, and that would stop me from going crazy.

  Nyx's nostrils flared at Giulia's retort, and Link asked, "What's going on?"

  I shot him a look, saw he was concerned, and Link didn't really do concerned. He was too cheerful, too playful. Too happy-go-lucky.

  Well, as much as a natural born killer could be.

  There was a reason we easily accepted the notion of killer clowns, after all.

  With the grins and the chuckles, it was too easy to think they could stab someone in the neck...

  Exactly like I had.

  Oops.

  "Giulia, well, she—"

  She heaved a sigh. "For God's sake, Nyx. I don't have cancer."

  He gnawed on his lip, and for the first time in my life, a long life of knowing this man, of seeing his downfalls and his vices, or knowing what made him tick, I had to admit, I'd never seen him so uncertain. So...

  Jesus.

  Was he nervous?

  "What's going on?" Storm demanded.

  "I'm pregnant. I found out after they ran some tests."

  Link blinked. "Huh." Then, as the surprise faded, his grin made a massive reappearance, and like always, that goddamn smile of his was contagious.

  So much so that even though shit was crazy and our worlds were tossed upside down, the sight of it had me grinning, and as the brothers swept around Nyx, whooping and hooting their congrats, I slipped to Giulia's side and carefully wrapped my arm around her waist, much like I'd done with the kids out there.

  "You're going to be a momma."

  She bit her lip as she shot me a look. "What a day to find out, huh?"

  "Yeah, it is," I agreed, "but maybe it's the light at the end of the tunnel, no? What the fuck else are we doing all this for if it isn't for the ones we love?"

  She frowned at that, then murmured, "You doing okay?"

  I shook my head. "No. I've been better. But this is good news." I kissed her cheek. "You're going to make psychotic parents, but I wouldn't miss the show for anything."

  She pulled me into a hug. "That sounds like you were planning on going somewhere."

  "I was." But I sighed. "Now I need to be the cool aunt who remembers important things like school and shit."
/>
  Giulia snorted. "I'm not an alien. Not like Nyx."

  "You're the one having his Martian baby."

  "I prefer to think he's from Jupiter," she teased, pulling back to smile at me. Something softened in her gaze as she studied me, before she murmured, "You're really happy for us?"

  I nodded, and I meant it. "Terrible timing, like you said, but the best kind of timing too. That's probably going to set up the kid for a lifetime."

  Giulia's smile was shaky. "I didn't expect it, not really, so it came as a surprise."

  "On a night of surprises."

  Before she could reply, Nyx dragged me into his arms, and he burrowed his face into my hair, much like he'd done earlier.

  He was the strangest kind of beast.

  So strong, so fucking rabid, so dangerous, but with the women he loved? Fucking putty.

  It was, I knew, one of the reasons we weren't that close. Because I meant too much to him, and what he could avoid, he would.

  The thought resonated, and I murmured, "You'd better not check out on her if she's carrying a girl."

  "Giulia's got my fucking soul, Indy," he growled.

  "Wasn't talking about Giulia. She knows how to get through to you, but I know what you're like with the women you aren't boning but love."

  "Never boned anyone I loved before," he countered.

  "True. I guess this is virgin territory for us all, but you know what I'm saying, so don't try to change the subject. You think you can pull away from your daughter because it hurts too much to love her and need to protect her, I'll kick your ass."

  "That's nothing to what Giulia would do."

  "Which makes her perfect for you," I teased, squeezing him tightly. "For your sake," I carried on, my voice more serious now, "I hope it's a girl. I hope she brings you peace, Nyx. I really hope so."

  He tensed in my arms. "I don't deserve peace."

  "No? Well, I disagree, and I know Carly would too." Much like I had Giulia, I leaned up on tiptoe and pressed my lips to his cheek. "I want you to be happy, brother."

  "You going to stick around to see me fuck up as a dad?"

  "Nah, I'm gonna stick around to make sure you don't." I smiled at him.

  "Wasn't sure. I overheard your conversation with Cruz."

  "Figured you did."

  He grunted. "Don't want you to go back to New Orleans, Indy. Want you here. Right here. Might not seem like it's the safest place to be, but whoever the fuck declared war on us will pay. You and I both know it."

  "I do, and that's what I don't want to get involved in."

  "Cruz was right. We were born tangled up in this mess. Moving won't change shit. Just means you're dealing with it all alone. I don't want that for you, sis."

  "Well, it's a good thing you knocked Giulia up then, isn't it?" I muttered gruffly. "Because I sure as hell am staying around now."

  His grin was pleased even if he did look a little nauseated, and I got it.

  Nyx was a murderer.

  A bad man by anyone's definition.

  Just not Giulia's.

  They'd made a baby together, and I meant it when I said I hoped it gave him the peace he was chasing, even if he didn't know it.

  With one last squeeze, he let me go, releasing me from the most meaningful conversation I'd had with my brother in years.

  When I saw the councilors gently hugging Giulia thanks to her injury and ribbing her about her kid being born with horns, saw Rex who was staring at nothing like he’d heard bupkis and Rachel whose face was tight with longing, I released a sigh.

  So much was up in the air, so much was wrong, so much needed to change, and yet, deep in Giulia’s belly was the seed that heralded the future.

  I needed to remember that.

  Cruz

  The day after the bombing, shit was still up in the air, which, I figured, was to be expected.

  That damn clubhouse had housed a dozen of us permanently, which meant we had no clothes, no toiletries, no nothing.

  Throw in the fact that our phones had been lost to the blast, and that it had taken out our monitoring equipment too, well, things couldn’t get much worse.

  Not only had we lost people, good people, we'd lost our identities as well.

  None of us had any goddamn ID, except for those of us who'd been carrying their wallets on them, but if you lived at the clubhouse, you didn't often carry cash on you. It would be like going to the john in your house and taking your fucking briefcase along for the ride if you were a regular businessman.

  The clubhouse was our home, and we'd just lost it.

  I was grateful the bunkhouses were still standing, even if they were severely damaged, because it meant Stone and Steel hadn't lost everything, neither had Lodestar, the girls, or Ghost and the others.

  That Tatána had been found where she had, well, it didn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that E equaled MC squared, did it?

  Tatána and David had been mixed up together, but deciding when to slot that information in, to keep the council in the loop when the major congregator of information and intel was still knocked out in a hospital bed wasn’t easy.

  Triage of the clusterfucks going down in our life was something that was difficult to calculate, and for the first time in a long while, I was grateful not to be on the council, grateful that I didn't have to make the big decisions for the MC as a whole.

  A part of me had been resentful about being nothing more than a gofer, but now the time came for life-altering choices to be made, I was glad to be in the backseat.

  Figuratively and literally, because our bikes had gotten caught up in the blast. Far as the Feds could tell us, they were actually the major propellent in the bomb.

  Sure, the boom had been big, but the gas in our tanks had just taken things to a whole other level. Making the explosion gnarlier, and just that more ferocious.

  So, as I was one of the brothers who was considered closer to the council than most, I was riding with Link and Nyx in a cage toward the Budget Basement motel which, more than likely, was going to be where I laid my head for the next couple of months as we broke ground on the new clubhouse.

  Thankfully, we had a lot of contractors in our ranks, so that was something, but it didn't take away from the heavy duty planning we needed to get done.

  Just thinking of that was a headache, and I knew I'd be roped in because of my engineering degree.

  I hated working on projects like that because making sure buildings were up to code was a migraine waiting to happen, but for my family, I'd do it. Trouble was, the brothers were dumb fucks if they didn't see the Old Ladies eying this up like rabid dogs in need of a seventy-two ounce steak. They were going to milk this situation, make shit how they wanted it.

  The only consolation was that I doubted anywhere would be painted pink or papered with fucking flowers.

  I'd take the flowers, of course, if they were inside Indy's apartment.

  Fuck, I missed her. I missed her something goddamn fierce. And it had only been a night. But the emotional distance between us was worse than her staying on Mars, and I had no idea if I’d be able to bring her back to me.

  Rubbing my chin as I watched West Orange pass me by in a blur because Link was driving too fast, I sighed and jolted when Nyx grumbled, "Stop fucking sighing."

  I'd heard the news about him becoming a father, and I couldn't say that it had cheered him up any, that was for sure.

  With my feet stretched out on the backseat, I settled in for the short ride, and murmured, "Got a lot to sigh about."

  "You think you got problems? I have a baby popping out into the fucking world, and somehow, I gotta make a home for us."

  The money wasn't the problem, it was time. I knew that.

  Time was always an issue for us.

  In the next couple of days, we'd been scheduled to make a run up to the Canadian border for the Five Pointers, and then with all this other shit, from David to Tatána, to the bombing to the reconstruction of the clubhouse, from B
ear to Maverick... it never rained but it fucking poured.

  "You can stay in the pool-house."

  "Where that cunt lived?" Nyx boomed, making Link wince.

  "I forgot about that."

  "Well, I fucking didn't. Not having anything to do with that place. We'll stay at Rachel's like we did last night—“

  "How about Sin's place? He probably wouldn't mind, what with the situation being as is."

  "Tiffany and Sin have made their place there. I ain't gonna turf them out." Nyx heaved a sigh. "It's just figuring out what Giulia wants is all, and it's not like we don't know how fucking particular she is."

  "She ain't that particular," Link retorted. "Not only did she settle for your psychotic ass, but she was happy living in the clubhouse."

  "That was before she got pregnant. Imagine her clean-freak ass on steroids. I've already had to ban her from cleaning Rachel's kitchen because she's stressed."

  I shook my head. "That's the dream, man. You want a woman who'll clean when she's stressed." I whistled under my breath. "When they get all sweaty and they're on their hands and knees?"

  Nyx twisted around in his seat to glower at me. "I'm not sure what’s worse. Thinking of you getting a boner over my sister in that position, or wondering if you're dicking around and thinking of other pussy like that.”

  I cut him a look, one that was loaded with as much sincerity as my duplicitous ass was capable of. "I'm in love with her, man."

  He pulled a face. "Fuck."

  I smiled a little. "Thought that would cheer you up."

  "Not exactly. Goddamnit, I don't wanna think of my brother with her."

  "Why not? Not good enough for her?" I jibed, which earned myself a glower, but hell, I'd been raised with Caro fucking Dunbar. I knew that looks could kill, and if they did, I'd have been dead by five.

  "Yeah, yeah, that's why. Got nothing to do with the fact you clean up corpses for the brothers for a living, nothing to do with the fact that you found your place with us because of your unique skillset..." His voice drifted off, but the warning was clear. "You fuck her around, I'll fuck you up."

  "I'm counting on it," I assured him, and I meant it. "If I hurt her, I deserve to have my ass handed to me. Any time, any place."